I don't even know why the runway was included in the finale because Top Model has very much backed away from runway in the last several cycles. We barely see Ms. Jay anymore and when we do, it's not for any walking challenges, I know that much. (Well, legitimate walking challenges, as they all have some sort of gimmick, i.e. this cycle's Kardashian Karousel fiasco.) Why should they be judged on something that they've not been practicing/had okay challenges on this cycle, especially with such a huge prize pack? The hideously windy runway itself was needlessly complicated with all its harnesses, backdoor switcheroos, and Eyes Wide Shut masks, followed by strutting to "I Be Like Whoa", "Underwater", and "I'm Here". Of course, one of those three is very slow/dreamy, while the other two are uptempo and energetic enough to bring even the most weary of catwalkers to life, so guess who was at a disadvantage?
I'm sternly wagging my finger at you, Top Model powers-that-be.
The Top Model finale felt like a repeat of every other Top Model finale in the history of the world, only stupider. Stuff was done without any explanation, the runway was wannabe-avant garde, the Cover Girl tie-in is tired, and the criteria for which the winner was chosen was very opaque all season. For all the hemming and hawing Tyra did about personality/branding being the main thing they're looking for, there were way too many episodes that kept modeling in the forefront. If you're going to make Top Model: All-Stars a "different" cycle, then go to it balls-to-the-wall; don't talk the talk and fail to back it up with your actions, because that just makes you look terrified of change and of putting yourself out there. Don't keep pretending that this is a modeling competition because that just insults the intelligence of the (too loyal) viewers still remaining after 17 cycles.
Like...whoa.
Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"Swim, girl! For your life!" Can RuPaul's Drag Race introduce a swim for your life challenge or...?
-"All-star is me."
-Great bit of editing: Tyra's opening voiceover mentioned the word catapult and it showed Allison in the Modelland editorial dressed as a cat. Cute.
-Where do you rank Lisa on the Top Model hierarchy of winners?
-Who had your favorite dress tonight at the runway show? Least favorite?
-Crazier outfit: Mr. Jay in a toga and Laura's mask from three weeks ago or Ms. Jay in a gladiator uniform?
-If the idea of a Top Model fragrance appeals to you, here's its Twitter account.
-Television Without Pity did a slideshow about this season's most ridiculous moments. Personally, I would have had a single white slide with the word EVERYTHING. in bold black letters.
-More interviews: Laura, Laura again, Shannon, and Bianca.
-Laura also has a new clothing site called Grumbage if you want some cute t-shirts.
-According to Tyra, her Top Model persona is not her. Okay, girl.
-The Modelland theme song. No, really. No...really.
-Below, I put (by far) my favorite final runway. What's yours?
-Well, another cycle is in the books. I have to say, I really appreciate you guys coming along for the ride with me this cycle. You're all top model all-stars in my eyes. I've had a lot of fun writing about Top Model, so meet you sometime in spring for another go-round?
i totally agree with all that you wrote! what a piece of crap finale! And it didnt suck because "the girl i liked didnt win", it sucked because apparently they think that we the people are MORONS. And I feel like a moron, because I invested accumulative hours of my time and THATS how they end it? with a quick "angelea's DQ'd". No explanations for us! It was so obvious that Angelea originally won and they had to do a make-shift judging months later and EVERYONE involved was already SOOOO over it. they told Lisa she won, and she looked like she could give two craps. WHy? because she already knew she was the second choice. What a crappy way to end such a big season…and dont get me started on that "modelland" crap. BOO.
Sooooo anticlamatic, what a waste of a season, Lisa , a bad representative of such a high class show….
What a horrible finale! They disqualified Abgelea which clearly did well throughout the season with outbursts here and there! I wasn’t impressed! I love this show but was so annoyed when Lisa won! She acts like such a tramp and is such a bitch! I love Allison! She deserved the win! She is unique! I will say all 3 of their cg shoots they looked phenomenal especially Lisa! Her beauty is there but her cocky I’m the best routine makes her ugly!