The tone of what you say can sometimes matter more than the content, especially on a show like Basketball Wives. You may have all the good intentions in the world, ready to help your daughter or bury the hatchet with a former friend, but if you come at somebody in a manner that makes them immediately shutdown, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. Nobody likes to feel attacked or belittled by someone, particularly someone they love, and if they’re put on the defensive, no real progress can be made.
Which is why I got so annoyed watching tonight’s episode, as nobody on this show can say what they need to say, in a proper venue, in a decent tone of voice. At all. Instead of showcasing a series of personal breakthroughs and strong moments of friendship, we got this collection of emotionally tone deaf characters that can’t help but come off condescending. For example, Royce’s dad – I have no doubt that he loves his daughter deeply and only wants the best for his grandson, but he came off as a cold, rude windbag with little to no self-awareness. And people wonder why Royce is the way she is. Look no further than her father, a man whose love and approval is so nonexistent (in her eyes) that she has to try to find that in other guys. Once a guy gives her the things she’s lacking from her father, that kindness and compassion, it’s over; her hooks are in him and there’s nothing he can do about it. Why would he keep pressing Royce after she’s hysterical and having a bit of a breakdown? Why didn’t he come outside to make up for calling her needy and talking to her like she’s still a little girl? There’s tough love and then there’s being an ass. Royce’s father is squarely the latter and the thing is, he doesn’t think he’s in the wrong. He thinks the manner that he speaks to his daughter is okay and it’s just not.
Most tellingly, Royce had the same communication issue with her man, another sign that the scars her father left on her run pretty deep.
And Tami…Tami, Tami, Tami. I used to live for Tami, but my goodness, how obnoxious has she gotten? Come on, girl. You have to give her props for going to anger management and understanding her problem, but for her to immediately go to the liquor, one of the culprits in 99.9% of all Basketball Wives fights, shows me that she’s not ready to fully change. And that’s sad because I can’t imagine being that mad at the world and choosing to fight that roughly for that long. Her “calm tone” in Tahiti didn’t come close to a “calm tone” of a normal, sane, sober person and the comments that wrapped in said tone were just as bad. Tami had been irritating all trip long with her passive aggressive treatment of Kesha, a funny thing from a woman that prides herself on being straightforward and “real”, but all her talk about Kesha not knowing her or respecting her took the cake. For one, Tami being that pressed about people talking behind her back is stupid, partially because the nature of every reality show like this is backtalk; also, Kesha may have said what she said right after the dinner ambush, but it’s not like Tami has read the poor girl pretty much every time her name gets brought up. All the talk about respect and knowing someone is null and void, considering the fact that Tami felt it okay to maliciously come at Kesha without knowing her or taking the time to build a friendship. Me personally, I start out every friendship/relationship respecting the person, but if someone came at me like Tami came at Kesha, all that’s dead and gone. If you treat someone poorly and continue to mock them, don’t be mad when they’re not kissing your feet.
And the comment about her seniority being reason enough to respect her is quite funny coming from the main bully that ran Meeka off the show and that has had problems with Kenya and Kesha. Hoo-larious, Tami. Really.
But the nastiness didn’t end there, with “the circle” taking time out of a beautiful trip to Tahiti to…shade Jennifer and plan a prank on Kenya. Aren’t we all grown here? I mean, I know I am, but aren’t these ladies (and I use that term loosely) grown, too? Then why were they serving me Mean Girls realness with their Plastic-like behavior, planning to put a fish in Kenya’s room (or bag). Shaunie can miss me with her holier-than-thou comments in the media distancing herself from the show and claiming not to have a final say; I’d have so much more respect for her if she backed up all her talk with a little action and got the girls to tone it the hell down once in a while. But no, she sits there, mouth agape catching flies, and silently counts her checks while the chaos is going on around her. The woman wants to come off like “the sane one” or the “businesswoman”, but she’s really “the puppetmaster”, letting Tami and Evelyn run wild over the population for the extra 0 in her bank book. She could very easily put a cork in any of this foolishness if she wanted to and she doesn’t, turning a blind eye to the bullying that goes on and being all in all a pretty despicable person. I have more respect for Evelyn in that regard, as she doesn’t pretend to be a saint; Tami and Shaunie talk a big game in the confessionals and in the media about their portrayal on the show, but they’re the ones acting this way.
And it ain’t cute. The “us v. them” attitude, the stupid wise cracks, the unearned superiority – none of it is becoming and turns me off that section of the Basketball Wives population.
Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-“You’re so stupid. Did you just call me a b***?”
-“But listen, history has proven that I’m about to coexist.”
-“I’m gonna send Kenya to a cannibal party.”
-Also, point of order: if Shaunie can take the Basketball Wives name/concept to the big screen, she can have more influence in the editing room, no? I don’t buy her tale of helplessness here.
-I was all ready to compliment Suzie on getting out into the water, but her snitching to Tami and leading the prank planning negated all that. Get it together, girl.
-Evelyn in that gray maxi dress…I can’t. Shoot your stylist in the pancreas.
-If Kenya is supposedly this cray-cray lady that could kill us all, why do they keep poking at her?
-Jennifer did not get her ass kicked by Nia, so Tami can come off that whole train of thought. There was one smack and then some minor pushing. That’s not a beat down.
-Is Basketball Wives the new Jerry Springer? Some say yes.
-There’s a petition circulating that promises a boycott of Evelyn’s upcoming spin-off with Ocho.
–Royce and I wrote about last week’s episode, if you’re interested.
-If Basketball Wives got pulled, would you suffer, like Tami thinks you would?
–Would you watch a Basketball Wives movie?
-Next week on Basketball Wives: More Tami and Kesha foolishness. That’s about it.