Sunday on “Desperate Housewives”, Julie Mayer’s attack affects the lives of everyone on Wisteria Lane in some way, but the idea of staying focused on Wisteria Lane means creating more drama and secrets rather than paying sympathies to those in a tragedy.
Our favorite nosy, cranky neighbor Mrs. McClusky opened the episode with her new boyfriend, Mr. Handler (guest star Orson Bean) as she tried to get him to say the three words: “I Love You.” He was about to say something, but spotted an unconscious Julie Mayer sprawled on someone’s lawn. Despite the emergency, Mrs. McClusky let out a scream of frustration, and everyone heard it.
Susan and Mike heard it after having an intimate moment on the day after their wedding interrupted by MJ. Gaby, Carlos, and Ana heard it after Gaby was schooling Ana on getting a boy to like her, in this case Danny Bolen, by disclosing how she met Carlos, who was shocked at Gaby’s shenanigans. Orson and Katherine heard the scream after Katherine stopped by looking for Bree and telling Orson that she isn’t upset about Susan and Mike’s marriage since it’s not going to last. Orson took the scream as a bell that thankfully saved him from Katherine’s quickly loosening screws in her head. The Scavo family heard it after Lynette apologized for puking in the toilet and not flushing. Tom was about to tell the kids about the pregnancy, but Lynette stopped him, causing Tom to think that Lynette has something else in mind. Like abortion. The Bolen family heard it after Danny blew off Ana and Nick questioned Danny about his whereabouts the night before. Angie got Danny to admit that he went drinking after Nick left the room. Bree and Karl don’t hear the scream, because they were in their hotel room…relaxing. But Karl got a call from Mike about what happened.
All of Wisteria Lane was out on the block discussing the matter. Everyone that is except Danny, who only (too calmly) stood in the doorway as if nothing happened and as if he didn’t know Julie at all. Of course, Mrs. McClusky sees this faux pas.
The men of Wisteria Lane think that the Bolens are suspicious and like my mom said, the scene was reminiscent of the Housewives from season one. The Bolens noticed the attention, but Danny can’t remember where he was since he was drunk. They decide to make food for the Mayer-Delfinos and blend in.
Mrs. McClusky wanted to keep her mouth shut, but Mr. Handler told her to do the right thing and that he would be there for her. She eventually gets him to say “I Love You” after threatening to not shower with him. Okay, moving on!
At the hospital, Susan was a wreck. When Lynette and Gaby arrive, the doctor tells them that more tests need to be done, one including an X-ray. Lynette all of a sudden doesn’t think that an X-Ray is a good idea, but after the others wouldn’t listen, Lynette dropped a bombshell: Julie could be pregnant. The look on Susan’s face spoke volumes and kudos to Teri Hatcher for nailing that reaction.
Back on the street, the Husband Mafia, consisting of Tom, Carlos, and Orson, stopped the Bolens, who were on their way to the Delfino’s. They questioned Nick through an invitation to a Neighborhood Watch program (which should have been still been in effect from the time the Applewhites were there). Nick saw the game they were playing, but is saved by Angie, who announced a ‘phone call’ from Nick's mother as a means to get away.
Another guest to the Delfino’s was Katherine, who used the absence of Susan as a means to come onto Mike by trying to kiss him. After Mike pushed her off him, Katherine told Mike that she would always be there for him “anytime”. Does the bitch ever stop?
The police come to question Ana about her whereabouts. Gaby thought Ana was in her room, but found out that Ana snuck out the
window to meet Danny Bolen and get alcohol. Of course, Gaby was furious and she let go of a slew of zingers that were hilarious. One being when Gaby wanted to use mace on Ana for lying saying, "I pay for it with my tax dollars so I should be able to use it." Classic.
Back at the hospital, Karl and Susan watched over a still unconscious Julie when Bree walks in. Bree and Karl play Inconspicuous ‘Cheaters’ Game and after Susan leaves, Karl tells Bree that he wants time to deal with the matter at hand and can’t see her that night, but will want to see her very soon. The two kiss, but Bree caught Julie looking at them puzzled. Julie muttered “Dad” before slipping back into unconsciousness. Hilarious!
After finding out that Julie isn’t pregnant, Susan wanted answers from Lynette, who told Susan that Julie found her crying and while talking the pregnancy slipped out and that Julie also mentioned there were complications with the baby’s father. Susan flipped out and can’t believe that Lynette betrayed her. Lynette later told Susan that the only reason the pregnancy came up is because Lynette revealed her own pregnancy to Julie. Lynette also told Susan that she is not happy about the situation. Susan gave Lynette a good pep talk about how kids are gifts and that they should cherish them, which gives Lynette the strength she needed.
Bree and Karl talked to the doctor about Julie’s condition and after Karl left, Bree pestered the doctor about if Julie will remember her memory and the doctor says yes. Bree panicked and tried to feel Susan on the subject of a friend dating an ex. Susan is against it 100% and goes as far as saying that if any friend of hers was dumb enough to fall for Karl’s charms that they would be written off in her book. Later, when Karl relents about not wanting company, Bree hesitates before she took the key.
Gaby called a handyman to come knock down the trellis so that Ana wouldn’t be able to sneak out again. The handyman said that he can’t see how Ana managed to use the trellis since it can barely hold the vines on it, a theory Gaby tried out and fell flat on her ass. Gaby then put two and two together and confronted Ana on why did she lie for Danny. Ana didn’t admit to it at first, but she eventually did and Gaby called the police.
Katherine told Orson that Mike came onto her while Susan was with Julie and Orson looked respectfully disturbed. Gaby approached Angie about the lie Ana told for Danny. Angie panicked and after noticing Mrs. McClusky staring at her, she ran in the house saying that they messed up by having Danny ask Ana for an alibi. The Bolens prepared for the worse and the worse came as Danny was hauled off to the police station with everyone on the block as a witness. Susan gave a meaningful glare to the Bolens as Mrs. McClusky watched from the sidelines, worried.
Those Wisteria Lanians!!!!
