Desperate Housewives

Let’s be honest, although we all love and adore Desperate Housewives, Chris Rock’s joke about renaming the show “Ungrateful Bitches” has a bit of truth to it.  I mean, the inherent flaws of these women are the only reason that I really tune in from week to week.  And despite the flaws, and the many times I find myself yelling at the characters, I still love them all, and care about them all (for the most part).  But last night’s episode, titled ‘The Best Thing That Ever Could Have Happened’ was an entirely different episode altogether. It focused not on the selfishness and erratic needs of our beloved housewives, but instead on the good deeds and overwhelming impact that one simple man made on the lives of each character in the show.  And more specifically, how one housewife ultimately put him on his path of helping people.

Eli Scruggs, we learn, was the handiest of all handymen.  There was nothing that he couldn’t fix, and he’s been fixing things for the women of Wisteria Lane for many years now.  But all good things must come to an end, and so Eli is retiring.  But as life often throws us a curve ball or two, Eli ends up having a heart attack while fixing a loose shingle on a rooftop, and dies.  The women of Wisteria Lane begin to realize and discuss how this tragedy affected them during one of their weekly poker games.

As the ladies bring up the fact that Eli didn’t have much family, and how they want to get him some flowers, Gabby flashes back to when she first met him, as she was just moving into the neighborhood.   It seems that Gabby was having some trouble adjusting to suburban life.  “Everyone is so boring, and suburban. I mean how many freaking honor roll students can that school have.”  This is a question I often ask myself while taking my daughter to school, so I get where she's coming from.  Carlos mentions that they shouldn’t argue in front of the handyman, and only then do we see Eli under the kitchen counter.  After Carlos leaves he suggests that she get to know the neighbors better, because they’re all great people.  So on Eli’s suggestion Gabby sets up a poker game at her house with them.  To say things go badly is an understatement, as Gabby could have easily won the ‘Stuck up Bitch of the Year’ award, and it would have been unanimous.

Eli shows up and lets Gabby know that she made quite an impression, and that the neighborhood can’t stop talking about her.  Always clueless Gabby chides in that “Well I’m sure it was kind of exciting for them to have a star in their midst.”  Eli fills her in on the wonderful list of words being used to describe Gabby, including stuck up, obnoxious, bitch…all the while her housekeeper is behind her nodding in agreement.  So, thanks to Eli’s truthfulness, Gabby sees the light and goes over to apologize, giving us one of those Gabby moments that makes us still care for such a self-centered person. She says, “I know I made a horrible first impression… What I should have said was  my husband’s never home, I miss the city, I miss my life. I’m lonely all the time. And I could really use some friends.”  We all know what happens after that.  Back in the present at the poker table, Gabby wholeheartedly agrees to pay for the entire wreath for Eli.

Next, they discuss fixing a dish for Eli's wake, which naturally leads to Bree having her flashback.  She sits with Rex (remember him!) and Tom and a very pregnant Lynette make an appearance as well, enjoying one of Bree's delicious meals.  Lynette is her typical hilarious self, at one point responding to Tom saying "if you're looking for a stove, we have one that's hardly ever been used," with a hilarious "I wish I could say the same for my uterus."

Rex begins to hassle Bree about getting a job, so she'd better appreciate the value of a dollar and Bree seems to think that Rex wouldn't be any happier doing his own laundry and such.  At some point just after that, Rex comes home surprised that they're having leftovers.  Bree informs him that she's been thinking about what he said, and she wants to write her own cookbook.  In typical form, Rex makes Bree feel pretty useless and unable to follow such a dream.  It works and Bree throws the cookbook in the trash, while Eli watches nearby.  Some time later, presumably just after Rex died, Eli finishes up some work at Bree's house.  She is very obviously upset and he consoles her.  He opens his bag and pulls out the notebook that she was writing her cookbook in, telling her that he kept it for her in case she wanted it someday.  The elated look on her face is undeniable and you can't help but get a little chill at this fantastic deed Eli has done.  He lets her know that he made her Cajun Meatloaf and that it was his favorite.  Back in the present, Bree has no question about what she is going to make for the wake.

We take a small break from the poker game to see Dave inform Edie of Eli's death.  She flashes back to a time in her bra and panties (I'm surprised she even had THAT on) when her current boy toy wouldn't fulfill her needs.  She quickly asks Eli to rate her ass and her boobs, asking specifically if they were "Perky and firm."  But he does the trick and gives her a bit of self esteem back.

We jump to a short time later when Edie has just learned that Umberto (the boy toy from the first scene) was gay.  She tells Eli, "You wasted your time installing that light in the closet because he went flying out of there."  Once again Eli tries to build up her obviously bruised ego, kissing her hand and telling her she is a knock-out.  Edie kisses him and throws him on her bed, ripping her shirt off as she climbed on top of him.  Wow.  Good for Eli.  Back in the present Edie decides to wear a sexy little black dress to the funeral, telling Dave, "Oh, I don't think Eli would mind."

As the girls are cleaning up from the poker game, Lynette's daughter Penny needs help with her homework.  Lynette tells her that she has to plan the funeral and doesn't have time.  Once again, this causes a flashback to Lynette puking in the toilet and letting Tom know that she is once again pregnant.  She is a bit distraught because she wanted to start work again.  When Tom tries to remind her that she wanted to try again for a girl she says, "Oh please, you know its going to be a boy. Its always a boy.  Its just going to pee in my face and hide dead things in my shoes."

Flash forward a bit further and we see Lynette conducting a phone interview despite being in labor and her water breaking.  When Tom freaks out and tries to get her off the phone she delivers the funniest line of the entire episode, telling him, "I swear if you touch this phone I'll have this baby right here and then beat you with it."   Lynette has little Penny and we next see her on her cell phone, talking to her new boss as she gets out of the car and heads into the house, empty handed except for a grocery bag.  Thank God, good Samaritan Eli hears little Penny crying and quickly goes to get her out of the car.  When he takes her into Lynette's house, the realization on Lynette's face and the obvious guilt she feels for forgetting her newborn child are overwhelming her.  She's near tears when Eli tells her, completely without judgment, that Penny was only in the car for a moment.  He continues to be warm and considerate of her, never even judging her in his expressions.  The impact this has on Lynette is unmistakable.  Back in the present, Lynette decides to go and help her daughter with her homework, because it is exactly what would honor Eli's memory the most.

In the last flash back, we see Eli changing the locks on Susan's house shortly after she found out about Carl's indiscretions.  Eli, once again always the console, tries to be helpful by mentioning what a terrible time Carl will have with a redhead.  Only trouble is that the woman Susan found out about was a blond, meaning Carl was even more of a sleaze-bag than she thought he was.  We jump forward in time a little and see Susan, crying this time, as Eli comments on how sorry he is to hear about her divorce from Mike.  She is more upset than she had been with Carl, and Eli tells her, "You keep getting back up and dust yourself off and you try again.  Maybe it is worth it."  We jump forward again, this time Susan has just broken broken up with Jackson, though she seems to be taking it just fine.  She tells Eli that she has a loose shingle on roof she'd like him to fix, and only then do we realize that it was Susan's roof where he had his heart-attack.

Eli's funeral is full of people, an obvious testament to how, even without family, he touched so many lives.  But it is here where Mary Alice, the ever present narrator of the show, tells us that there was one person whose life actually inspired everything that Eli did.  We flash back once more to Eli arriving at Mary Alice's house on his first day in town, trying to get work as a handyman.  Reluctantly she finally has him put a favorite, broken vase of hers back together.  Some time later he's at her house again and she is obviously distraught.  She is holding a piece of paper in her hands.  Eli knows something is wrong, but he seems to not want to pry too much in another person's life.  She gives him the vase, a gift she tells him that she wants him to have.  You can tell that he feels stronger than ever that something is dreadfully wrong, but he quietly takes the vase and leaves.  We then see that the paper in her hands is the very note that we know she received the day she killed herself.  We see Eli sit in his truck for hours as the police arrive at the house and deal with the gruesome scene.  It is at this moment that Eli Scruggs makes a vow.  Never again will he not help those who so obviously need it.  It is this very moment that made him realize the importance of getting involved.

I found the episode very enlightening and positive to watch.  I realize that sounds a bit cheesy, but compared to the typical plot's of this show, which I do love, the story of Eli Scruggs stands out as one of the very best, and a chance to really get to see why we keep tuning in and why we so love the women of Wisteria Lane.

Eli scruggs was burried on a saturday.  Everyone came to see him off that day.  But someone was missing.  Someone who changed his life.  Marry Alice was the first one in the neighborhood to give him work.  Then, just before she committed suicide, she gave him the very first vase that he fixed for her.