I am scared to even write this review, because A) I am still processing the greatness that was just bestowed upon me, which was better than dinner, and B) I feel that whatever word combinations I form for this review, they will not do any justice to one of the greatest hours of TV that I have EVER witnessed. So to sum it up, I am partially speechless and immediately want to watch the episode again. But I have a duty to you guys, and I shall deliver. So let’s begin.
First of all, Sue Sylvester. I bow to you. Her obsession with Madonna showed no boundaries whatsoever to the point that the school was forced to listen to the Material Girl’s hits through the school intercom. Well, except for Emma, who Sue dubbed unworthy of “the power of Madonna” due to Emma’s virginal inhibited nature, which is clearly what Madonna is not about. How did Sue manage to get Madonna’s songbook to be airtime before the morning announcements at school? Good ole fashioned blackmail, baby. I’m still trying to figure out how Principal Figgins could let Sue hang that photo over his head. She was in her coach’s uniform, for Christ’s Sake!!! But who cares? If it furthers the plot, the tomfoolery, and Sue’s one-liners, then I would let it ride to eternity. Sue is determined to make Madonna proud by having the Cheerios perform Madonna’s hits, but when she catches wind that Will has sort of copped her dream by having the glee club do something similiar, there is hell to pay.
Sue’s obsession with Madonna correlated with three topics this week; which were women empowerment, virginity, and being yourself, and who else but Madonna could be the perfect figure for such a theme. I know there are a list of people someone will probably name, but for Glee, let’s stick with Madonna shall we? We had the girls of the Glee club, who felt that the guys were not treating them right, a sentiment Quinn felt starts in high school and lives on to adulthood, with women making less than men do in the same job field. So Will Schuester, in his quest to understand the kids and himself, decided to have the glee club pick a Madonna song to that will empower the girls, and clue the guys in on respecting them. While Will worked on empowering the kids, he dealt with Emma’s issues of being a virgin. He didn’t pressure her, but after enduring that verbal beatdown from Sue, Emma eventually told Will that she is ready. Also, the co-captains of the glee club dealt with virginity, as well, with Rachel being tempted by the increasing presence of Jesse St. James (Jonathan Groff) and Finn being lead on by Santana, who needed a dumb, younger male to feel empowered as a woman. Blame Sue and Brittany for Santana’s reasoning, but at least she wasn’t dating a seven year old. *Eyes Brittany*. But despite all of the built up tension leading up to this monumental moment, only one “couple” did it, which can send ripples into the club later in the season. Who was that couple you ask? Finn and Santana were the deed doers, but when Rachel asks if Finn went through with it, he lied, because he didn’t feel anything with Santana, and possibly, because he didn’t want to hurt Rachel.
Meanwhile, Kurt and Mercedes came up with an idea to do a Madonna themed video project and after witnessing the hilarious battle of the hair putdowns between Sue and Will, the two Gleeks find their star in Sue, who later revealed that she tried to imitate Madonna’s platinum blond locks when she was young, burning most of her hair off in the process, hence her “jealousy” of Scheuster’s locks. Then she told a bold faced lie insinuating that she is 29 years old all under one breath. Sue, you are the epitome of cool.
The shocker at the end of the episode is a doozy as Jesse St. James transfers to McKiney High AND joins the glee club!!!!!!! Of course, the glee members were pissed, but Will accepted the dude with open arms! Is he upholding his “include all” mentality or is he blind with the possible success that having Jesse can bring to the club? Either way, Jesse is clearly spying for Vocal Adrenaline and hopefully Schuester sees it and soon…
“Express Yourself” – The girls performed this while the guys watched in somewhat boredom, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. The vocals were divided between Rachel, Mercedes, and Quinn, and they all sounded great.
“Like A Virgin” – The perfect song to go with story lines of Finn, Emma, and Rachel, who are all about to lose their virginity to Santana, Will, and Jesse, respectively. The perfectly executed dance numbers probably got some staunch conservatives in a tizzy, but who cares? Plus, they really need to give Santana a solo. Stat.
“Vogue” – Epical, sheer genius. Do I really have to say more? If you thought you saw a Golden Globe or Emmy connecting with Jane Lynch’s head, then that was me. Sorry but she deserves one!!!!
“What It Feels Like For A Girl” – A little impromptu number from the guys!!! That was a shocker, but as soon as they finished, Puck voiced his discomfort with it. It didn’t tarnish the fact that they song a nice little riff of it though.
“Borderline/Open Your Heart Mash-Up” – This was sung by Rachel and Finn, and while it paled a bit to the other performances, I still think the mash-up did justice to their source material.
“4 minutes” – Mercedes and Kurt tore this song up and it was great to see them get their time in the spotlight for once and the respect they got from it. Well, the latter might have something to do with the fact that they are now CHEERIOS!!!!! You know Schuester was not happy about this, but what did he expect? Rachel, Finn and Quinn get most of the lead songs, so, it is sound reason why “culture” makers Kurt and Mercedes decided to dance with the devil (in this case, Sue) to achieve their own spot in the limelight.
“Like A Prayer” – The episode ended with the song that touches my heart whenever I hear it sung. Despite it being leaked on the net earlier this week, the Glee cast’s version of “Like A Prayer” sounded even better watching it being performed on TV. Everyone sounded exquisitely beautiful, especially when the choir is brought into the background. My ears, peripheral, and vocals felt as if they were flying along the voices of the cast. Beside the phenomenal “Vogue” send up, this was my second best performance tonight.
Special mention goes to Sue Sylvester having the Cheerios dance to Madonna’s ‘Ray of Light’ on stilts, mind you, and then telling them that it was “sloppy” afterwards. Mad respect, Sue. Mad respect.
Favorite Moments of the Night
- ‘Justify My Love’ playing during the Sue/Principal Figgins scenes. Two words: FREAKING. HILARIOUS!
- The Will vs. Sue Hair Smackdown that ended with this line from Will to Sue: “By the way, how’s the Florence Henderson thing working out for ya?” The stunned look on Sue’s face is classically epic and her freak out afterwards, a bonafide gut buster.
- ‘Vogue’. Really, do I NEED to say more?!?!?!
- Sue in a cone bra. Nuff said.
Did the episode do Madonna and her music justice? Yessiree!!!! Should there be a sequel episode? Well if you can answer if a bear craps in the woods, then you have your answer. But the question now ti be asked is if the Lady Gaga themed episode will be even crazier in scope, or any other artist for that matter. Can you imagine a Michael Jackson themed episode of Glee?!?!?! It should be in the cards… Hear that, Mr. Murphy?
So to close out the night, I will like to say that I will forever be in Ryan Murphy and crews debt for making my Tuesday feel like heaven and Madonna for creating music that transcends race, gender, sexual orientation, creed, etc.
What about you? How did you feel about the episode? Sound off!