Gossip Girl 3.21 “Ex-Husbands and Wives” Recap

Mark O. Estes May 11, 2010 0

Wow…. Gossip Girl delivered last night, but I can’t help but to feel that they delivered a little too early with the William van der Woodsen story arc. Meanwhile, Chuck makes an ultimatum that gave me a bit of whiplash and Hurricane Jenny struck again, making me want to strike the platinum dye abuser in her face. The scheme dominated most of the night and just about everyone was in attendance, but did it ‘work’? Let’s find out.

Setting Up The Chess Pieces

While Blair and Serena look over dresses, Blair laments about not ever being on a true date without anyone she has already known. Wow. She can only blame herself for her own sheltered nature. Serena tells Blair about Rufus “cheating” on Lily and that William feels that Lily shouldn’t know about it, due to her “condition”.

Chuck and Jenny talk about their findings with Lily’s medicine, but Jenny gets caught by Rufus, who takes her phone. Chuck learns from Nate that Blair has a date with Cameron, the Columbia guy that Blair met at the party. Back at the Humphrey loft, Jenny and Rufus argue, with Dan in the middle of them. Jenny whines that she needs her books, which are back at Lily’s place.

William gives Lily her medicine and uses the time to reminisce about the good ole days. I want to vomit. Chuck calls Jenny back (on the Humphrey house phone) to reveal that Lily’s medicine is for combating bugs from Africa, not lymphoma. Now they need to find out who prescribed them and when, but to do that, they need someone highly skilled in the art of manipulation. No not Georgina Sparks, but Blair Waldorf. Jenny sees other intentions for Chuck to need Blair in this scheme, but he claims that there isn’t any and that he just wants to get to the bottom of things. He asks Jenny to meet him at Blair’s, which requires Jenny to sneak out the house.

Rufus and Dan show up at the van der Woodsens’ and are met with Gatekeeper Serena, who gives Dan clearance to get Jenny’s supplies, but picks a fight with Rufus in the process. Serena informs Rufus that she knows about the Holland situation, but he thinks it’s about blocking William from living in the building. Serena says it isn’t, which brings everyone in the house into the living room to see what the commotion is about. Rufus puts Serena on the spot, asking her what did Holland say to her. When Serena refuses to answer, Rufus calls Holland up to the apartment for her to reveal what was said, but quickly wishes that he hadn’t done that when Holland announces that she and Rufus slept together. WOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!

In the aftermath that followed, everyone is dumbfounded by Holland’s claim, especially Rufus who cries shenanigans at Holland for out right lying. William asks Rufus to leave, but he high tails it to Lily’s room instead. When he gets there, Rufus can’t believe that Lily believes Holland, but can you blame her? He DID leave his scarf over there like a dummy, plus he wouldn’t talk to her after he found out about the note. On the other hand, Rufus thought the same thing when he found that note from William earlier this season, so it should be even steven right? Not in this household.

The Battle Lines Are Drawn…

As Serena tosses all of Jenny’s stuff into a box, Nat tries to get her to listen to reason, but Serena doesn’t want to hear that crap and stomps out on Nate to be with her family. At Blair’s, Chuck and Jenny try to recruit Blair to come scheme the psychiatrist who has been prescribing Lily’s medicine, but Blair thinks that both of them are crazy and thinks that Chuck is only trying to ruin her date with Cameron.

Eric walks with Lily, who talks with her son about the situation at hand. Eric says that he doesn’t care who Lily ends up with as long as she is there, alive and kicking. Elsewhere, Dan and Nate talk about finding the truth behind the whole scandal and Serena not knowing that Nate is involved as well. They both agree that Nate is playing with fire and that they both need an expert to help with their case. That expert? Again, not Georgina Sparks, but Blair Waldorf.

Blair is kicking it with Cameron, when Dan and Nate show up and tell her what’s up. When she hears that the person Rufus allegedly cheated with is Holland, a garden chair committee person, Blair knows something is up. With a blessing from Cameron, who wants to see Blair do her thing, she gets on the case.

At the psychiatrist’s office, Chuck and Jenny do their thing, which involves Jenny talking while Chuck scans the room. When Chuck covertly gets info from the psychiatrist’s daily planner; Blair, Dan, Nate, and Cameron walk in. The two schemers reveal to each to other that Holland and Dr. Kemble, the psychiatrist, are the same person.

Later while the Scheme Team sends Jenny to find a bottle of pills with the labels on them at the van der Woodsens, they come up a strategy on how to get Holland, settling on calling her out at a library benefit later that night. Blair orders the troops to meet up at her place later. Meanwhile, Cameron jokingly asks Nate if scheming is the groups hobby, which nonchalantly confirms by bringing up the whole Poppy and Georgina mess from last year. It got a laugh out of me, how about you guys?

Serena and William return from buying a blender for Lily, which William says she will love. Serena goes into how much she is glad William is back in the picture to help out, but the dude downplays everything and making Serena look stupid by the minute as she continually becomes blinded by his uncanny charm. When she gets back in the apartment though, she runs into Jenny (who finds the goods) and the two start to have a spat. Jenny stops long enough to try to get Serena to open her eyes, to William’s schemes, but Serena doesn’t see that Jenny is trying to help the family. Serena is too caught up in William’s spell just as much as a teeny bopper is infatuated with Justin Bieber. It’s that damn sad. When Jenny argues that she wishes she could return back to her normal life, Serena asks what the hell is stopping her. Bad move, Serena. Jenny takes this piece of advice and leaves with it. I smell Hell around the corner… After Jenny leaves, Lily enters the kitchen where Serena presents her with the blender William bought for her. Lily is so in awe 0ver the gift that she wants to have a night with her ex-husband. Serena is elated. I really want to vomit now…

At Blair’s, Chuck teases Blair for Cameron bailing on her for a rugby dinner, but Blair counters that Cameron will be picking her up later that night. The group is ready to do some damage, but when Jenny comes back, she lies as if she didn’t find anything.

The Sting Is On…

The party is underway and Blair gives everyone their assignments and sends them to their posts. Nate and Dan are to make sure that the doctor who can revoke Holland’s license is in attendance; Jenny is to hand out Dan, Nate and the doctor’s tickets; and Blair and Chuck are to watch over things and keep Holland in their peripheral. Immediately, Jenny tries to sabotage the plan, but doesn’t know that Serena has spotted her and has a plan of her own.

Serena beams as William and Lily dance together, but she feels that something is afoot. Blair and Chuck find Holland and pretend to be dating again to get her to hear their problems. Rufus shows up and catches Jenny, courtesy of Serena, and wants her to leave with him now. Dan and Nate show up with news that they couldn’t find the doctor. Thank for nothing, Jenny. Dan mentions Holland’s name and Rufus forgets that Jenny is a problem and tries to find his “old friend”. Serena notices Nate is involved and is pissed. She doesn’t see what Nate has to gain in betraying her. Um, he’s trying to salvage your psyche, you moron!

In a ruse to distract Holland, Blair and Chuck pull actual events from their sordid relationship to keep Holland focused. The psychiatrist eventually tells the two of them that with all that has happened, neither of them feels safe in the relationship, but before they can move on Chuck gets the signal from Dan, who has found the doctor. Blair and Chuck then turn the tables on Holland, getting her to come clean in front of Rufus about the pills and the “affair”. Jenny’s ass runs and tells William that the jig is up and that he better run. She claims that she is only helping so that they can get their respective families back. Go to hell, Jenny. Dan spots William rushing Lily and Serena from the ball and informs Rufus.

Dreams of Our Fathers

Eric sits home when Lily, Serena, and William return and is a little thrown off that William wants to fly all of them to Palm Beach immediately so he can tend to a ‘seriously’ ill patient. Ummm…. Ok. Serena gets a call from Nate, but ignores it. She then gets a call from Dan who reveals the truth, which she refuses to believe… to an extent. She questions William about the Holland quagmire, but he plays dumb. Rufus shows up, ready to spill the truth, which is told through a genius scene that has Blair, Dan, Jenny, Chuck, and Nate working out that this whole scam has been going on since the beginning of this year. Wow. Bravo, Gossip Girl writers!

Seems that William sent Serena the letter about Lily being with him, when Serena came looking for him, thinking it would cause a riff between Rufus and Lily. But that didn’t work. So, you have Holland, who’s husband has just left her and she needs a man badly, but can’t break the bond between Lily and Rufus. By being friends with William, Holland teams up with the good doctor to break the happy couple up, but William takes it a bit far after actually curing Lily of her sickness to only make her sick again. Holland gives him the pills that only give Lily the side effects from taking them, which mirrors the symptoms a cancer person probably would have. Ingenious? Yes. Necessary? Hell no!

William feigns his innocence and says he can prove it by retrieving files from his bags downstairs. He leaves, but doesn’t come right back. Uh oh… Blair, Chuck, Jenny, Dan and Nate show up, asking to see William. This should seal the deal for Serena to see the light, right? WRONG! She runs to the lobby while Nate calls the police. Blair and Chuck then pose the question that one of them had to had given William the heads up, which is when Jenny grows a pair and say it was her. Stillettos and dress shoes should’ve been aimed at Jenny’s head at that moment. Dan goes to the lobby to find Serena distraught as the truth finally hits her.

Kick Rocks

Serena takes a limo to find William. When she finds him at the helipad, Serena demands to know the truth. William pretty much admits to what the others deduced, claiming that he is sorry for hurting Serena. He asks her to come with him, but Serena declines but tells him to go before the cops come. They share a hug before William sets off on the run, leaving Serena a crying mess.

Rufus and Lily apologize and devote their lives to each other again, while Jenny and Eric watch and witness. Jenny is sickened by this and calls Rufus out on the problems that he and Lily constantly face which eventually drags her, Eric, Serena, and Dan in the middle of their fights. She then claims that life was much easier living in Brooklyn and that it shouldn’t be a crime to want things back to normal. Rufus disagrees and feels that Jenny is the one who needs to have a gander at being normal. Eric further drives the dagger into Jenny’s chest by saying that if she has a problem with the family then she might as well kick rocks. I ceremoniously throw up the deuces at Jenny, myself…

Chuck mocks Blair as she waits for Cameron to come, but he quickly slips into suave mode by claiming that Blair felt their spark during the scheming of Holland. Blair denies it, but feels that Holland was right and that they are not safe. Chuck reveals that he took a big risk by telling Blair that he loved her and the risk paid off. Then he gives Blair an ultimatum, which is that Blair has until tomorrow to make her final decision and to meet him at the Empire State Building to give her decision. Blair says she won’t be there. Ouch! But as she and Cameron walk down the street, Blair can’t help but focus on the building that Chuck has designated as their rendezvous point the next day.

Serena gets another call from Nate, but blows him off because he didn’t think to talk to her first before alerting the police. Sh gets back in the limo where Dan is waiting for her. She thanks him for being a good friend and lays her head on his shoulder. Don’t know what to take from that, but God I hope it’s just a friendly gesture.

Back at Chuck and Nate’s spot, Jenny comes dragging in with her bags. Why the hell she didn’t just go stay with Dan is beyond me, but Nate helps her with her bags and he doesn’t send her away this time. NOOOOOO!!!!!!

Now that William has been sent back under the rock he crawled from, what can we expect next week? Yes, I saw the trailer, but still: WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN??!?!!? What do you guys want to see in the finale? Will you be able to sustain yourself for the long summer wait? Spill below!