Trish is hauling ass down the hotel hallways. No one's following her, she's just late for a shindig on the veranda. She offers her apologies and Henry continues to explain the rules of the game. Rules? Game? Why yes, it's an Island scavenger hunt, all the better to split up and die show off one's knowledge of the bride and groom. There are a number of stops, The Cannery (open bar, groomsmen be kind), the church, and the Maritime Museum - where Trish used to work. Ohhhh. THE HEAD SPADE! What? It's a clue. Maybe. Sue me.
Everyone's playing with the colored bandannas that signify their teams, and Sully approaches Cal. Sully has blue, Cal has yellow and Sully was wondering if Cal would trade. Sully was supposed to be on the yellow team, see? He motions over to where one of the groomsmen, Danny, is sporting yellow. Cal agrees, just in time to realize that Chloe had yellow as well. D'oh! Abby, the nice girl that she is walks over with her blue bandanna and tell him they're gonna kick yellow's ass. They walk off, arm in arm down the stairs as Kelly walks up. She says, "hi" but Abby seems not to recognize her.
There's a shot of spiderweb porn and some church bells a ringin' just before the preacher sweeps the web down. Maggie the wedding planner comes up with a snarky remark about loving all God's creatures and some props for the scavenger hunt. Each group is supposed to take pictures at (and I'm sure the writers meant "at" and not "on" which is what Maggie says), at the altar wearing the hat and veil she's providing. She's also brought him scones. Mmmm, scones. Maggie reminds him that the rehearsal is on Friday and he points out that he's lost his hearing, he hasn't lost his mind. Me? I wonder what bet I lost that made me have to reacp this scene. Luckily for me, it's over.
And we're back to the hotel and Trish lying through her teeth about why she was late. Henry buys it, it's been a weird morning, Uncle Henry hasn't shown up (DRINK!) and she's been late and it's just been weird. Trish, with a certain coquettish glee, tells Henry that there's something he can help her with and leads him off. We promptly cut to the hotel kitchen, where what looks like a single-layer dry run of a wedding cake is on the counter. She dips a finger and lightly spreads a smear of chocolate on her neck. "Taste that." She tells him. He does and we get the beginnings of a kitchen sex scene...
...which is rudely interrupted by a scene of the preacher walking in the woods munching on a scone. Someone will pay for this. The preacher pauses in his constitutional, thinking he hears something. Perhaps something metallic? He turns up his hearing aid and the sound techs obligingly amp the sounds of the forest. With a shrug, the preacher continues. And yet...there's that metallic sound again. He takes another step and with a whoosh! he's caught up in a trap and hanging upside down, his hearing aid on the ground below. He struggles but between the nice long shot and the trills on the soundtrack (tsk, tsk, they're telegraphing the good parts), you know it's for naught. For a brief instant, the preacher sees someone, but his cries are cut short, literally, as his head is taken off with one mighty swing of a head spade and a metallic slice on the soundtrack. There's even a nice bouncy head that rolls away to fast for me to grab a decent screen shot. And believe me, I tried.
Heh-heh-heh, head spade. We're gonna have fun with that one during this show aren't we?
Still oblivious to the carnage that's around them, team blue is at The Cannery where the name of the game is to answer questions about the bride and groom. Get one wrong? Take a shot. Cal, who's never met them before yesterday, has had a few. Kelly enters and walks through the frame. Curious, Abby asks Nikki who that was and the answer surprises her. Apparently, Kelly was a lot different in high school. Also on the team is Lucy, whose pernicious pooch hops on the bar, much to Nikki's dismay. After Nikki's threat to turn Gigi into an appetizer, Lucy leaves and Richard, who has nothing better to do in this scene, follows. In true stalker fashion, Kelly reappears right at Abby's elbow. "I know you probably don't remember me." 'Course she does, Abby bluffs, and the pair retire to a side table to talk.
Abby is a little obsessed with LA as she proves by naming off all the major areas, impressing even Abby who's been living there for awhile. Kelly thinks its the perfect place, the place where she wouldn't be known as the girl who's mom got killed by John Wakefield. Abby can sympathize but asks if there's anyone Kelly can talk to. But Kelly doesn't answer, instead she says she admires Abby for getting out. With a sorrowful look, Abby reveals that she didn't run, her father sent her away, maybe Abby scared him. Kelly nods, she scares a lot of people. "Not me." Abby states before excusing her self to the ladies room.
The camera pans down to Abby washing her hands so we can all jump when it pans up to reveal Kelly standing behind Abby. "I see him." Who? "Wakefield. I see John Wakefield." Abby's a bit confused, after all, Wakefield's dead, her father killed him. But before we can get into that conversation, the door bursts open, showing an ominous male silhouette. It's revealed to be Shane the Ass, sneering and leering at the girls. "John Wakefield murdered my Mommy, wah-wah, boo-hoo." I want him dead a lot. He shoos them out so he can pee. Funny? I thought that was the ladies' room. Is Shane illiterate as well as an ass?
Outside the bar, Kelly's apologizing for Shane and Abby tries to tell her not to worry about Wakefield. Unconvinced, Kelly leaves Abby to her "friends" as Cal comes bursting out the front door. He finally got one right and has the requisite prize of a bottle of wine in his hands, which he promptly hands off to Lucy with a sigh. He wants to be yellow again. Abby helpfully fills in the blanks for the rest about Sully conning his way onto Chloe's team. Lucy tells Cal to stop whining and go fight for her, Richard helpfully provides a map showing Cal where the yellow team's likely to be after their trip to the museum. Abby even knows a path through the woods he can take. Drunkenly he stumbles off and Abby decides to follow, make sure he doesn't get hurt.
Pity she's so easily distracted by Jimmy who's looking to make cute, telling her that they only got one deer and he's sorry for grabbing her. He also wants to know if she was meeting him there for some pool. She smiles and tells him that no, she's not there for him (loser) she was there for the scavenger hunt. And to run into Kelly. In case we hadn't noticed, Jimmy needs to tell us Kelly never quite got over her mother's death. This gives Shane enough time to make an appearance and backhandedly accuse her of writing on his truck. Jimmy protests and Shane folds, even he knows that's not Abby's style and the one who did do it? "He'll get his." Abby's confused, but before Jimmy can explain Shane's decided to tell us all exactly how pathetic Jimmy was after she left. Like we hadn't already guessed from his behavior thus far? At any rate, Jimmy brushes it off and gets in the truck while Abby takes off, presumably to continue following Cal.
Have you ever in your life heard of a "head spade" before seeing this episode? Me, neither. It's a great weapon and completely appropriate to the setting but WOW is that obscure.
I'm definitely playing your drinking game for next episode because if people don't start realizing that there are a bunch of missing wedding guests and locals, they are all too stupid to live.
I started to like Cam and Chloe better this episode, especially at the end at the bonfire when she was missing her Englishman.
Looking forward to your next recap!
Heh, this is one of those shows that I'll have been glad to watch just because I'm learning odd and obscure things like what a head spade is and the definition of "bifurcation".
Do play the drinking game, the show is soooo much funnier that way.
I still kinda hate Cal and Chloe after this ep, its the next one where I start to like them a bit.
Have you ever in your life heard of a “head spade” before seeing this episode? Me, neither. It’s a great weapon and completely appropriate to the setting but WOW is that obscure.
I’m definitely playing your drinking game for next episode because if people don’t start realizing that there are a bunch of missing wedding guests and locals, they are all too stupid to live.
I started to like Cam and Chloe better this episode, especially at the end at the bonfire when she was missing her Englishman.
Looking forward to your next recap!
Heh, this is one of those shows that I’ll have been glad to watch just because I’m learning odd and obscure things like what a head spade is and the definition of “bifurcation”.
Do play the drinking game, the show is soooo much funnier that way.
I still kinda hate Cal and Chloe after this ep, its the next one where I start to like them a bit.
According to Merriam-Webster online:
bifurcation
One entry found.
Main Entry: bi·fur·ca·tion
Pronunciation: ˌbī-(ˌ)fər-ˈkā-shən
Function: noun
Date: 1615
1 a: the point at which bifurcating occurs b: branch
2: the act of bifurcating : the state of being bifurcated
I hate it when they do that!
Main Entry: bi·fur·cate
Pronunciation: ˈbī-(ˌ)fər-ˌkāt, bī-ˈfər-
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): bi·fur·cat·ed; bi·fur·cat·ing
Etymology: Medieval Latin bifurcatus, past participle of bifurcare, from Latin bifurcus two-pronged, from bi- + furca fork
Date: 1615
transitive verb
: to cause to divide into two branches or parts
intransitive verb
: to divide into two branches or parts
— bi·fur·cate (ˌ)bī-ˈfər-kət, -ˌkāt; ˈbī-(ˌ)fər-ˌkāt adjective
Who says television can't teach. That's a great word. Like "defenestrate." Which I'm sure we'll see at some point too.
Looking forward to the next word of the week.
Now you're just showing off. But please continue, you're running up my comment counter and it makes me feel important.
:)
According to Merriam-Webster online:
bifurcation
One entry found.
Main Entry: bi·fur·ca·tion
Pronunciation: ˌbī-(ˌ)fər-ˈkā-shən
Function: noun
Date: 1615
1 a: the point at which bifurcating occurs b: branch
2: the act of bifurcating : the state of being bifurcated
I hate it when they do that!
Main Entry: bi·fur·cate
Pronunciation: ˈbī-(ˌ)fər-ˌkāt, bī-ˈfər-
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): bi·fur·cat·ed; bi·fur·cat·ing
Etymology: Medieval Latin bifurcatus, past participle of bifurcare, from Latin bifurcus two-pronged, from bi- + furca fork
Date: 1615
transitive verb
: to cause to divide into two branches or parts
intransitive verb
: to divide into two branches or parts
— bi·fur·cate (ˌ)bī-ˈfər-kət, -ˌkāt; ˈbī-(ˌ)fər-ˌkāt adjective
Who says television can’t teach. That’s a great word. Like “defenestrate.” Which I’m sure we’ll see at some point too.
Looking forward to the next word of the week.
Now you’re just showing off. But please continue, you’re running up my comment counter and it makes me feel important.
:)
you guys are learning ICU lingo! Bifurcation, de-fenestration…
my favourite? Hemicorporectomy- what happened to Uncle Marty ;)
Recycling. *snerk*
Bobby is not allowed to die. Ever. Except when he sacrificies his life to save The Boys. Which may be happening soon :)
(I don't know, I am completely unspoiled)
I am looking forward to learning more about CreepyAssGirl.
Great recap, raven!
On Thursday- Thwack. I am envisioning a machete. Or a wrecking ball.
I cannot even tell you how pissed I am that I have to wait until Saturdays now.
Honestly – and I bet they used the same deer for the bathtub scene, they just whacked it off the body and poured some more fake blood on it.
Eaven, if you really don't want to wait til Saturday, you can watch the eps here at the Global site…
http://harpersisland.globaltv.com/Video/Default.a…
you guys are learning ICU lingo! Bifurcation, de-fenestration…
my favourite? Hemicorporectomy- what happened to Uncle Marty ;)
Recycling. *snerk*
Bobby is not allowed to die. Ever. Except when he sacrificies his life to save The Boys. Which may be happening soon :)
(I don’t know, I am completely unspoiled)
I am looking forward to learning more about CreepyAssGirl.
Great recap, raven!
On Thursday- Thwack. I am envisioning a machete. Or a wrecking ball.
I cannot even tell you how pissed I am that I have to wait until Saturdays now.
Honestly – and I bet they used the same deer for the bathtub scene, they just whacked it off the body and poured some more fake blood on it.
Eaven, if you really don't want to wait til Saturday, you can watch the eps here at the Global site…
http://harpersisland.globaltv.com/Video/Default.a…
Also?
**Because I have zero impulse control I call out, “It places the lotion in the basket.” **
*falls off chair laughing*
It was the little dog looking over the edge that did me in, Pixie. After the lotion bit I was envisioning her tempting Gigi with a chicken bone calling, "Here, Precious…."
Also?
**Because I have zero impulse control I call out, “It places the lotion in the basket.” **
*falls off chair laughing*
It was the little dog looking over the edge that did me in, Pixie. After the lotion bit I was envisioning her tempting Gigi with a chicken bone calling, “Here, Precious….”