There are not enough words to apologize for the tardiness of this recap, and no excuses save to say that John Wakefield killed my home computer and strung my recaps and screen-shots up in a tree. Like Abby, I am scarred for life. But enough about me, let's get to the corpses.
Another show, another heroine with a voice-over. Oh, dear. At least this one appears to be in the vein of setting the scene, "Welcome to the island, there's gonna be a wedding, people are gonna to die." as opposed to some of the more philosophical ramblings of one Sarah Connor. And, the powers that be still give us a previously reel. So without further ado:
Previously: Abby returned to the island where her lovesick puppy of an ex was glad to see her. His friend Shane tells him to get over it. Henry's got an estranged brother, JD and he and Uncle Marty are the only family he has. Trish has an ex who's hanging around at Daddy's invitation. Uncle Marty overheard one of their conversations and let Daddy Wellington know that he was onto him...without actually saying it. JD hit on local gal and former girlfriend of Shane's, Kelly. JD and Kelly have tattoos. Shane has fists. Which leads to fisticuffs. Uncle Marty takes a walk across a broken bridge and loses something important...the lower half of his body. And last, but not least, someone leaves a poorly-headlined news article on Abby's bathroom mirror. Got all that?
The dead: Cousin Ben (never seen), Uncle Marty, Too Be Killed....
There's several shots of island porn before we open on Abby, waking up post-news clipping fiasco. She's still in the red dress and she has a chair wedged under her hotel room door. To clear her mind she goes for a run in the woods. She stops to look in wonder at a lone deer in her path. Say it with me, people, awww.
Elsewhere there's a beautiful long shot of a lonely Trish waiting for someone. That someone is Hunter who saunters up sexily with a sultry sway. What can I say? He's easy on the eyes. Trish is not amused and wonders if he just expected her to swoon and fall into his arms again; he had his chance and he blew it. He wonders her what she'll do if he refuses to leave. She looks cagey and says she doesn't want a repeat of college. The way he replies that he's "not worried about Henry" makes me think there's backstory galore to be had with the trio.
Back in the woods, Abby is still entranced by the deer when a bloodied hand clamps over her mouth. It's Jimmy and he whispers in her ear, "This will only take a second." Because we can't kill the heroine this early in the game, I'm rather unsurprised when Abby and the camera look over to see Shane with a hunting bow, taking aim. Abby's not amused so she stomps on Jimmy's foot, causing him to shout which in turn causes Shane to miss. Bambi's mom lives to graze another day. Abby starts right in with a "what the hell" but Jimmy 's actually being reasonable. If they don't cull the herd, they starve in the winter, there's no where for them to go. So Jimmy's trying to make nice, but Shane's an ass and so he randomly tosses Abby's abandonment of all things Island, including Jimmy, in her face. Abby stalks off, Jimmy trying to follow, but she won't have it. She's not judging, she's just seen enough killing on the island.
Elsewhere, there's been a break-in at the local Maritime Museum. The Sheriff looks around and asks the usual questions so we can establish that the break-in happened before Uncle Marty's killing. That's good to know, because the missing item? A head spade would have been perfect to affect his bifurcation.
Shane's bitching his way through the woods stating that he doesn't tell Abby how to live in LA, she shouldn't tell him how to live here. Jimmy points out a) it's not Abby's fault that Shane can't hit a moving target and b) apropos of very little, she's a writer. Long story short, Shane still thinks Jimmy's kissing up to Abby. Luckily they stop dead in their tracks when they get back to the truck. The camera pans over and there's a lovely deer corpse, throat ripped out, splayed over the hood with the word "PSYCHO" written in blood across the windshield. And yes, there's a gore-cap on the last page for you fiends.
From a nearby vantage point, a dark figure watches.
There's water running as Henry walks into JD's room, "You dressed?" he asks as he idly picks up a prescription bottle from the counter. There's quite the selection. JD says no, but after a moment we pan to the bathroom and see that's a lie. Henry's oblivious and playing my new favorite drinking game, "Where's the Dead Guy?" as he asks if JD"s seen Uncle Marty that morning. (DRINK!) The answer is, of course no. Awkwardly, Henry gets to the point of the visit. He'd really appreciate it if JD didn't get in anymore trouble, after all, they're not locals anymore. They never were locals, JD insists, they were "summer guys" and Henry got tolerated because he hung out with Abby. JD didn't have that luck - not that it matters - Henry's the one with a need to be liked, not JD. Henry just wants the week to go well and we all join JD when he says, "Good luck with that."
This is not a subtle show.
Henry pauses a moment and then leaves so the camera can pan back to JD. He turns on the water again so we can pan down to see him furiously scrubbing what looks like blood off his hands. Heh.
...SLICE! Titles, "One by one..."
Have you ever in your life heard of a "head spade" before seeing this episode? Me, neither. It's a great weapon and completely appropriate to the setting but WOW is that obscure.
I'm definitely playing your drinking game for next episode because if people don't start realizing that there are a bunch of missing wedding guests and locals, they are all too stupid to live.
I started to like Cam and Chloe better this episode, especially at the end at the bonfire when she was missing her Englishman.
Looking forward to your next recap!
Heh, this is one of those shows that I'll have been glad to watch just because I'm learning odd and obscure things like what a head spade is and the definition of "bifurcation".
Do play the drinking game, the show is soooo much funnier that way.
I still kinda hate Cal and Chloe after this ep, its the next one where I start to like them a bit.
Have you ever in your life heard of a “head spade” before seeing this episode? Me, neither. It’s a great weapon and completely appropriate to the setting but WOW is that obscure.
I’m definitely playing your drinking game for next episode because if people don’t start realizing that there are a bunch of missing wedding guests and locals, they are all too stupid to live.
I started to like Cam and Chloe better this episode, especially at the end at the bonfire when she was missing her Englishman.
Looking forward to your next recap!
Heh, this is one of those shows that I’ll have been glad to watch just because I’m learning odd and obscure things like what a head spade is and the definition of “bifurcation”.
Do play the drinking game, the show is soooo much funnier that way.
I still kinda hate Cal and Chloe after this ep, its the next one where I start to like them a bit.
According to Merriam-Webster online:
bifurcation
One entry found.
Main Entry: bi·fur·ca·tion
Pronunciation: ˌbī-(ˌ)fər-ˈkā-shən
Function: noun
Date: 1615
1 a: the point at which bifurcating occurs b: branch
2: the act of bifurcating : the state of being bifurcated
I hate it when they do that!
Main Entry: bi·fur·cate
Pronunciation: ˈbī-(ˌ)fər-ˌkāt, bī-ˈfər-
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): bi·fur·cat·ed; bi·fur·cat·ing
Etymology: Medieval Latin bifurcatus, past participle of bifurcare, from Latin bifurcus two-pronged, from bi- + furca fork
Date: 1615
transitive verb
: to cause to divide into two branches or parts
intransitive verb
: to divide into two branches or parts
— bi·fur·cate (ˌ)bī-ˈfər-kət, -ˌkāt; ˈbī-(ˌ)fər-ˌkāt adjective
Who says television can't teach. That's a great word. Like "defenestrate." Which I'm sure we'll see at some point too.
Looking forward to the next word of the week.
Now you're just showing off. But please continue, you're running up my comment counter and it makes me feel important.
:)
According to Merriam-Webster online:
bifurcation
One entry found.
Main Entry: bi·fur·ca·tion
Pronunciation: ˌbī-(ˌ)fər-ˈkā-shən
Function: noun
Date: 1615
1 a: the point at which bifurcating occurs b: branch
2: the act of bifurcating : the state of being bifurcated
I hate it when they do that!
Main Entry: bi·fur·cate
Pronunciation: ˈbī-(ˌ)fər-ˌkāt, bī-ˈfər-
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): bi·fur·cat·ed; bi·fur·cat·ing
Etymology: Medieval Latin bifurcatus, past participle of bifurcare, from Latin bifurcus two-pronged, from bi- + furca fork
Date: 1615
transitive verb
: to cause to divide into two branches or parts
intransitive verb
: to divide into two branches or parts
— bi·fur·cate (ˌ)bī-ˈfər-kət, -ˌkāt; ˈbī-(ˌ)fər-ˌkāt adjective
Who says television can’t teach. That’s a great word. Like “defenestrate.” Which I’m sure we’ll see at some point too.
Looking forward to the next word of the week.
Now you’re just showing off. But please continue, you’re running up my comment counter and it makes me feel important.
:)
you guys are learning ICU lingo! Bifurcation, de-fenestration…
my favourite? Hemicorporectomy- what happened to Uncle Marty ;)
Recycling. *snerk*
Bobby is not allowed to die. Ever. Except when he sacrificies his life to save The Boys. Which may be happening soon :)
(I don't know, I am completely unspoiled)
I am looking forward to learning more about CreepyAssGirl.
Great recap, raven!
On Thursday- Thwack. I am envisioning a machete. Or a wrecking ball.
I cannot even tell you how pissed I am that I have to wait until Saturdays now.
Honestly – and I bet they used the same deer for the bathtub scene, they just whacked it off the body and poured some more fake blood on it.
Eaven, if you really don't want to wait til Saturday, you can watch the eps here at the Global site…
http://harpersisland.globaltv.com/Video/Default.a…
you guys are learning ICU lingo! Bifurcation, de-fenestration…
my favourite? Hemicorporectomy- what happened to Uncle Marty ;)
Recycling. *snerk*
Bobby is not allowed to die. Ever. Except when he sacrificies his life to save The Boys. Which may be happening soon :)
(I don’t know, I am completely unspoiled)
I am looking forward to learning more about CreepyAssGirl.
Great recap, raven!
On Thursday- Thwack. I am envisioning a machete. Or a wrecking ball.
I cannot even tell you how pissed I am that I have to wait until Saturdays now.
Honestly – and I bet they used the same deer for the bathtub scene, they just whacked it off the body and poured some more fake blood on it.
Eaven, if you really don't want to wait til Saturday, you can watch the eps here at the Global site…
http://harpersisland.globaltv.com/Video/Default.a…
Also?
**Because I have zero impulse control I call out, “It places the lotion in the basket.” **
*falls off chair laughing*
It was the little dog looking over the edge that did me in, Pixie. After the lotion bit I was envisioning her tempting Gigi with a chicken bone calling, "Here, Precious…."
Also?
**Because I have zero impulse control I call out, “It places the lotion in the basket.” **
*falls off chair laughing*
It was the little dog looking over the edge that did me in, Pixie. After the lotion bit I was envisioning her tempting Gigi with a chicken bone calling, “Here, Precious….”