The Five Stages of Grief When Watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

Recently, for science, I decided to watch the first few episodes of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo to see what millions of people were willingly subjecting themselves to each week. The results have seared my eyes, ears and soul, possibly permanently.

In short, the show is a spin-off of a Toddler’s and Tiara’s contestant (formerly the worst thing on TV) and follows an overweight people from the deep south who act out the worst stereotypes of the culture. Their english is so redneck-ified they need subtitles and they collective way more than the house they live in.

The experience is one that left me deeply, profoundly sad. So much so that I actually went through the traditional five stages of grief. I recorded my experience below:


“There’s no way this can be real. They’re actors, right? People like this simply cannot exist in the world, it’s just not possible. We should give them all Emmys for their powerful portrayal of everything that’s wrong with America.”


“This is for REAL? THESE PEOPLE ARE EVERYTHING WRONG WITH AMERICA! How can you feed your kids cheeseballs in the morning for breakfast? How can you have two kids by the time you’re 17, and not teach your OWN 17 year old daughter about proper birth control? TOO LATE SHE’S PREGNANT.”


“TLC, I’ll make you a deal. If you start airing shows that actually cause me to learn something other than ‘being a waste of life can get your own TV show,’ I will personally acquire a Nielsen box and leave your channel on 24/7 to boost your ratings. Sound good?


“This is our future. We’re only a few years away from total Idiocracy now. It’s one thing if people like this exist in the country, it’s another if we’re all watching them by the millions every night and making them into celebrities. At least the Jersey Shore apocalypse came with muscles and boobs. I’ve seen enough flab on this show for an entire lifetime.”


“Damn, I really hope Honey Boo Boo wins this pageant. She’s worked really hard for it.”


  1. John Jacobs September 25, 2012
  2. Cassie October 12, 2012
  3. peggy November 6, 2012

Leave a Reply

“Flip or Flop Vegas” is a Hit on HGTV and Here’s Why
Netflix to Revisit Robert F. Kennedy in Documentary “Bobby Kennedy for President”
Why We’ll Be Watching New Netflix Show “On My Block”
“Clarissa Explains It All” Reboot Starring Melissa Joan Hart in the Works
Tatiana Maslany in Powerful Short Film “Apart From Everything”
First Look Mr. Rogers ‘Won’t You Be My Neighbor?’ Documentary
If “The Force Awakens” Ending Were Just a Few Seconds Longer
The Top 20 Steven Spielberg Films of All-Time
Listen To The Main Score For “Ready Player One” From Composer Alan Silvestri
The World’s First David Bowie Statue Will Be Unveiled in 7 Days
The Top Uses of The Police’s “Every Breathe You Take” in Movies or TV
Here are Porgs Dancing to the Cantina Band Song
We’re Praying That Floyd Mayweather Fights in the MMA
“The Mountain” Hafthor Bjornsson Wins Arnold Sports Festival Strongman Classic
Tennis Legend Andre Agassi Discusses Partnership With Watch Brand Longines
Is This the Real Reason Babe Ruth Was Never Hired as a Manager?
Three Top Down VR Games You Need in Your Library Right Now
Jurassic World Getting Pokémon Go-Style AR Mobile Game
Monster Hunter: World Is Capcom’s Best Ever Selling Game
North America Takes World Title in Intel’s VR Challenger League and Other News
Kristen Stewart to play Jean Seberg In ‘Against All Enemies’
Disneyland Resort’s Newest Hotel Package is Pixar Fest Themed
Singer Neil Young is Writing Science Fiction Novel
Jim Carrey Painted a Sarah Huckabee Sanders Portrait and Well…..