Modern Family

If you missed the last episode of Modern Family, "Truth Be Told," check out a recap here.

This week's episode, "Starry Night," begins as Modern Family often does, with a question.  What is Phil's favorite way to relax?  Well, Phil enjoys putting on his television noise-reducing headphones and getting lost in the Nature Channel.  With Claire, Haley and Luke fighting in the background, Phil says that the Nature Channel is exciting because so often the action moves form "tranquil beauty to raw, primal violence."   At this moment, Claire rips the headphones off of her husband's head, and wonders if he really hasn't been listening to what is going on around him.  Luke has a project on Van Gogh due tomorrow which he hasn't started, and Haley just told Claire that she needs cupcakes for a school fundraiser at the same time.  Alex, of course, has done all of her homework accurately and on time.  Claire asks Phil to stay on Luke, and make sure he finishes the project, but Phil has a different strategy.  He doesn't want to smother his son like Claire does.  "You think I smother him?" Claire incredulously asks.  "Well, it's not your fault," Phil replies, "'Mother' is part of the word.  You never hear anyone being 'sfathered' to death."  Alex chimes in that she thinks Luke has ADHD.  Luke insists that he doesn't, but then asks his sister what it is.  She says it's not even worth explaining to him because by he'd wander off before she gets to the "D."  Of course, Luke has already meandered off before the end of her quip.  Luke puts Phil's headphones on, and misunderstanding their noise elimination capabilities, begins to speak very loudly, thinking his family can't hear him.  "Everyone is stupid except me.  Ha, ha.  I am funny."  All Claire and Phil can do is stare at each other.

Mitchell waits on the sidewalk, telescope in hand, for his father.  He tells the camera that he and his father are going to be watching the Lyrids meteor shower, an annual tradition.  According to Cameron, it can be seen "where Planet Geek passes through the Nerdy Way."  Cameron is just joking with Mitchell; he thinks the outing is sweet.  He loves the fact that Mitchell and Jay can enjoy showers together.  Mitchell, unbowed, continues, explaining that he and his father don't have many common interests.  Mitchell never went to "sports games" with his dad.  "Probably because you call them 'sports games'," remarks Cameron.  Back on the sidewalk, the partners can see Jay's car pulling up.  "Here comes your shower partner," Cameron teases.  Mitchell goes to open the passenger door, but Manny is seated inside.  "Shotgun, sucka!"

Cameron has his own rondezvous with Gloria.  The two are going out to eat, but Cameron is very nervous.  He confides that he so badly wants to be good friends with Gloria.  They have so much in common.  "One spicy, curvy diva," Cameorn begins -- "and Gloria!" Mitchell finishes, proudly, with his own zinger.  Cameron is nervous because of a cerain incident he and Gloria had a couple weeks back.  At a party, Cameron was complaining to Claire and Mitchell about Mitchell's snobby Ivy League friends.  Particularly, a woman from Columbia University who was quite annoying, who always brought around an equally annoying friend from Brown University.  "I wish that tart would go back to Columbia and take her weird little Brown friend with her," Cameron exclaims...right as Gloria and Manny walk in behind him.  Cameron tried to apologize to Gloria, explaining that he was talking about Columbia, not Colombia; that he wasn't talking about "your people," but rather college people.  Not that "your people" couldn't attend college, he tried to correct.  Everything he said just kept making it worse, so now he wants to go out with her to start new.  In the car with Gloria now, he tells her that he was able to get past the four week wait for a table at Palazzo (thanks to a yoga buddy), but Gloria doesn't want to go to some place so fancy.  She suggests one of her favorite Latin restaurants instead.  That's fine with Cameron, "I'd love to see how your people eat."  Back with Mitchell, Cameron is beside himself to the camera "'Your peoiple'?!?  What's wrong with me?!?"

Haley and Claire have embarked on the cupcakes, but Haley has a plan to get out of it; all she needs to do is set the cheese in the trap.  When Claire tries to teach her how to crack an egg, Haley takes it from her, "I know how to do this.  I'm not a child."  Impressed, Claire hands over the egg, but Haley cracks it and drops some shell into the bowl.  Claire can see where this is going, so she just takes over and releases Haley from any obligation to help.  "And snap!...Is it bad I feel for sorry for her?" Alex sarcastically says.  Upstairs, Phil and Luke start Luke's project.  Luke doesn't know how to start though.  "Mom usually tells me what to do," he notes.  "Join the club," Phil replies.  The father takes out the proverbial tri-panel presentation board and lays it before his son, telling him to pretend he had to explain to someone who had no idea about Van Gogh, what the artist was about.  Luke has been distracted though, "How do they get the lead in pencils?" he contemplates.

Mitchell is trying to contemplate the starry heavens, but Manny is continuing with his zingers, making fun of the fact that Mitchell doesn't know that Earth is the densest planet in the solar system.  Earlier, on the way to pick up Mitchell, Manny was nervous that he didn't know how to relate to a sibling.  He doesn't want to offend Mitchell in any way, but Jay tells him that offending a brother is impossible.  If anything, brothers have to make fun of each other.  Hence, Manny's stand-up routine at Mitchell's expense.  Having heard enough, Mitchell says he is going to go see the sights of the park, in the middle of the night, and leaves.  "Not if they see you first!" Manny yells after him.  "Kinda missed with that one, kid," Jay tells his stepson.

At his son's computer, Phil has found the correct information.  "This is all you need to know right here.  The pencil is actually two parts that they glue around the lead."  Having moved back to his project, Luke tells his father that he has come up with a plan.  Without hearing what it is, Phil is excited for his son's discovery.  "All you needed was focus," Jay cheers, but while doing so, notices that the chair he's sitting in has a loose arm.  He needs to get a screwdriver to fix it.  He'll be right back.  As his father leaves the room, Luke shows him a picture of Van Gogh, noting that the artists looks just like Uncle Mitchell, if Mitchell was insane.  Cue Mitchell running out of the woods screaming about being sprayed by a skunk.  "You stink," Jay tells Mitchell  "Yeah, like your astronomy knowledge," quips Manny.  "What is happening?!?" Mitchell exclaims, finally losing it.

Cameron and Gloria are at dinner in a hole-in-the-wall Latin restaurant.  Cameron insists to her that he loves the place, but confides to Mitchell that he was actually quite nervous.  There was dirt everywhere, and lots of food on the menu, on the floor and on the wall.  Mitchell insists that Cameron is exaggerating.  "Were you there, Mitchell?  I think I would've recognized the only other white or gay person there," Cameron responds.  Gloria orders Carnitas Diablos (literally, "Devil's Pork"), and Cameron orders the same.  The waiter tells him that maybe the carnitas is not the best choice for him.  Gloria has built up a tolerance to the spiciness of the dish, but Cameron insists.  "I can spice you under the table any day of the week, sweet thing," Cameron playfully challenges Gloria.  Gloria nods her assent, and the waiter places the order.  Meanwhile, back in the park, Jay won't let Mitchell get close to them.  He tells his son that there is a blanket in the back of the car; he should take off his clothes and use the blanket.  Mitchell dryly jokes that he'll just get the blanket smelly, but Jay says not to worry.  They only lay it down when they pick up Manny from tango class.  "If you're not sweating, you're not doing it right!" Manny pipes in.  This lesson doesn't necessarily apply to food, however.  Cameron, clearly under duress from the spiciness of his food, is laughing to prevent himself from crying because of the heat.  Eventually, the  pain takes hold.  "Your head is running water!" Gloria shouts.  Cameron jumps up to grab some water to drink, and although Gloria warns him that water just makes the heat worse, Cameron grabs a pitcher and begins to chug.  Gloria was right, "I feel like I ate the Sun!!" Cameron bellows.