The 15 Most Massively Expensive Yet Awful Movies Ever

x-men-3

When you take a look at the most expensive movies ever made, it’s quite surprising to see how many of them are mediocre or actually pretty terrible. I guess it’s proof that money doesn’t buy quality, but really, shouldn’t it buy at least a little bit? I picked out what I thought were the 15 worst most expensive movies ever made and lined them up in order of how awful they are. Yes, bein awful  is subjective and I’m sure you’ll disagree with me, but such is our way here on TVOvermind.  I’ll also tell you that it’s still too early to put Batman V Superman on this list.  But believe me, that’s the movie that inspired this list.

You’ll be surprised to see that even though most of these movies are pretty awful, nearly all of them made their massive budgets back, mostly thanks to distribution overseas, which is included in the “Made” stat.

15  and 14.  Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man’s Chest and At World’s End

pirates

Cost: $225M & $300M

Made: $1.1B & $960M

Terrible factor (lower is better): 3

Yeah we’re doing a double feature here as the two are essentially the same movie. Not only were most of the sets CGI, but the half the cast was too, and without a solid direction, the two sequels to the original Pirates seemed unnecessary and tacked on.

13. King Kong

king-kong

Cost: $207M

Made: $550M

Terrible factor: 4

Most of the money here was spent on Kong himself, and all the scenes with him in them are excellent. Unfortunately, when the humans start talking that’s where things start to go to hell. Jack Black, really?

12. Superman Returns

superman-returns

Cost: $204M

Made: $390M

Terrible factor: 5

I’m really not quite sure why exactly this movie cost so much money. How much can it cost to make someone fly these days? We really did want a triumphant return for Superman, but when he finally did return to earth, we find out that he’s just kind of awkward and outdated.

11. The Golden Compass

golden-compass

Cost: $180M

Made: $372M

Terrible factor: 5.5

The atheist’s Chronicles of Narnia just wasn’t as good as Chronicles of Narnia, which really wasn’t that good to begin with. The biggest crime of this film was that it somehow took Best Visual Effects from Transformers at the Oscars with its CGI polar bears.

10. Spiderman 3

spiderman-3

Cost: $258M

Made: $890M

Terrible factor: 6

Spiderman 3 sucks slightly less than most people think it does, but it’s still pretty awful nonetheless. Most people complain about Peter Parker’s transformation into a singing emo kid as the main plot point, but too many villains and perhaps too much reliance on CGI sunk the ship completely.

9. Terminator Salvation

terminator-salvation

Cost: $200M

Made: $321M

Terrible factor: 6.5

The most recent addition to this list has made a lasting impression on disappointed fans everywhere with a phoned-in performance from Bale and horribly told story. Should I have put this on the list or T3 instead? I’m not even sure.  Genesis was no picnic either.

8. Van Helsing

van-helsing

Cost: $160M

Made: $300M

Terrible factor: 6.75

It was a pretty damn big gamble to sink this much money into Van Helsing, even though Hugh Jackman was currently beloved at the time as Wolverine. The movie was simply just not good, but it is slightly better than its similarly themed brethren, The League of Extraordinary Gentleman and The Brothers Grimm.

7. X-Men: The Last Stand

x-men-3

Cost: $210M

Made: $460M

Terrible factor: 7

This first of two Brett Ratner films on the list, the man knows how to take a bunch of money, and waste it all on useless crap. If he had focused more on the story than CGIing 50 different mutants powers, this would have been a much better movie.

6. Alexander

alexander

Cost: $155M

Made: $167M

Terrible factor: 7.5

One of the only films on the list not heavy on the CGI, Oliver Stone’s Alexander was full of admittedly beautiful costumes and sets, but the story was long and rambling, Colin Farrell looked weird blond and Jared Leto was just flat out terrifying.

5. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

mummy-3

Cost: $145M

Made: $401M

Terrible factor: 8.5

The franchise that no one asks for, yet continues to get made, The Mummy series throws money at CGI skeletons and zombies, but forgets that you can’t have a good action series led by Brendan Fraiser. Jet Li, what were you doing in this movie?

4. Poseidon

poseidon1

Cost: $160M

Made: $181M

Terrible factor: 9.5

What if we re-made Titanic, but instead it’s modern day, the boat flips upside down and we have Fergie? Good idea? Sure. Oh, and make sure to have it cost the same amount too.

3. Rush Hour 3

rush-hour-3

Cost: $140M

Made: $260M

Terrible factor: 9.75

There is absolutely nothing about this movie that should have cost $140M. Clearly the writers were paid in peanuts, since they were all trained monkeys, and unless Brett Ratner had to shell out $100M to film at the Eifel Tower, he threw millions away God knows where in this movie.

2. Sahara

sahara

Cost: $160M

Made: $119M

Terrible factor: 10

I was stunned to see just how much this movie cost, and it’s the only one on the list that never recouped its budget, even with overseas grosses included. Sahara had the misfortune of being A) a terrible idea B) a subsequently terrible movie and C) so poorly marketed, no one even caught a glimpse at what exactly cost $160M in the film.

1. Waterworld

waterworld

Cost: $175M

Made: $264M

Terrible factor: 11

Universally regarded as one of the worst conceived and executed movies ever, Waterworld tops our list. Keep in mind those are 1995 dollars too, so it actually cost about $270 million in today’s numbers. Thankfully Kevin Costner survived the disaster, as evidenced by the fact that he’s now doing commercials for Turkish Air.

Surprising Omission: I was completely ready to put The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones on here, but George Lucas, Mr. 100% CGI himself, knows how to make epic movies on a budget, as the budget of those two films was about $115M apiece.

Also: Having just seen Transformers 2 hours ago, I would add that to the list without a doubt. Ah-trocious.  And I won’t even mention that John something movie from Disney.  What in God’s name was that?

One Response

  1. MegaSolipsist April 5, 2016

Leave a Reply

Al Roker on Ryan Lochte
Ryan Lochte Lied: Why We Love Al Roker Losing it With Billy Bush
The Voice Season 11 Preview
The Voice Season 11 Preview: Miley Cyrus & Alicia Keys – Keeping it Real
New Fall 2016 TV Shows
The 10 New Fall 2016 TV Shows You Don’t Want To Miss!
Runaways
Marvel’s ‘Runaways’ Ordered to Series at Hulu
Deadshot and Harley
‘Suicide Squad’ Sets More Box Office Records, Beats ‘Civil War’
Archive 81
‘Archive 81’: An Interview with the Creators of the Horror Audio Drama, Daniel Powell & Marc Sollinger
Jared Leto as the Joker, laughing in the faces of critics.
‘Suicide Squad’ Shatters August Record for $135M Opening Weekend
Jared Leto as the Joker, laughing in the faces of critics.
‘Suicide Squad’ Soars with $65.1M Friday, Now Heading Toward $150M Opening Weekend
Moviepilot
What Are Twitter Users’ #7favfilms?
The Star Trek 50th Anniversary Blu-ray Set Has 30 Discs
The Star Trek 50th Anniversary Blu-ray Set Has 30 Discs
Ghostbusters
Hollywood: Women in Movies From Past to Present
Actress Zoe Kravitz is added to Fantastic Beasts
Harry Potter’s “Fantastic Beasts” Just Got Hotter – With Zoe Kravitz!
Kehlani, "Gangsta"
Check Out the New Music Video for Kehlani’s ‘Gangsta’ from ‘Suicide Squad!’
Suicide Squad: The Album
‘Suicide Squad’ Soundtrack Is the Best of the Summer: Review
Jared Leto as the Joker
Jared Leto Returns as Joker in ‘Purple Lamborghini’ Music Video for ‘Suicide Squad!’
Galactic Empire
Why Star Wars Fans Should Be Paying Attention to Galactic Empire
Sports News
The Best Lessons From the 2016 Olympics Opening Ceremony
150415194757-2015-playoff-graphic-2-041515.1200x672
The Top Five Moments in NBA Playoffs History
2themastes
Your Official Guide to Watching the Masters Tournament on TV
Austin X Games
X Games Austin 2016 Has an Amazing Sports and Music Lineup

Get more stuff like this
in your inbox

Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.