Michael Bay to Produce Live-Action ‘Dora the Explorer’ Movie

Sometimes we all just need a good laugh.  I catch myself more often than not bemoaning the latest shovelware blockbuster or washing my hands (again) of DC’s ill-considered movie franchises.  And that’s a real drag, because despite what it might sometimes seem, I want these movies to be good.

Even Justice League.  Even The Emoji Movie.  If The Lego Movie and Trolls can somehow pull off their headshakingly terrible premises, why shouldn’t DC’s answer to The Avengers or Inside Out in your cell phone pan out just as well?

But every now and again, something like this comes along and makes it all worthwhile.  Every terrible movie, obvious cash-grab and thinly veiled commercial is worth putting up with when news like this comes in through the grapevine.  I mean, somebody’s actually paying money – multiple millions of dollars – to make sure that this makes its way to a theater near you.

After years of languishing in developmental Hell, Michael Bay will be producing a live-action Dora the Explorer movie: a sequel to the long-running, educational cartoon series that will see Dora grown into a teenage girl.

Let that sink in for a second.  Michael Bay, the man who brought Transformers to the big screen in a movie starring sweaty, pubescent Shia LaBeouf that included giant alien robots peeing on John Turturro, is making a Dora the Explorer movie.  The explosion monger responsible for high octane action flicks like Armageddon and The Rock was somebody’s first choice to head-up a movie based on cartoon about a seven-year-old teaching American kids Spanish.

Yeah, that’s something that happened.  Somebody is paying a literal fortune to make this movie happen.

To be fair, Bay’s just producing the movie.  It’s not like he’s actually in charge of directing it: a duty that will undoubtedly go to somebody else more suited to the task.  But still, you don’t see headlines like this too often.

Even more interesting, however, is the fact that Dora is going to be a teenager in this version.  They’re clearly aiming to draw in kids who were fans of her during her fourteen-year run as a little girl on TV.  Personally, I would have banked on the current generation of TV-watching kids before teenagers who have already moved on to bigger and better things.

Still, in a world where we were just subjected to Geostorm and are a month and counting from Justice League, you’ve got to laugh when you can.  And nothing is funnier than Michael Bay lending his name to a movie like this.



Leave a Reply

“Party of Five” Reboot Is in the Works on Freeform
Facebook Watch is Quietly Turning into Its Next Hit
Amazon Nudges up Monthly Prime Membership 18 Percent
A New Trolls TV Show Will Be Hitting Netflix Soon
The Top Five Elizabeth Hurley Movie Roles of Her Career
The “Paterno” Teaser Trailer Featuring Al Pacino
When Darth Vader’s James Earl Jones Voice Processor Breaks
Five Movies That Emotionally Scarred People for Life
Camila Cabello Performs A Fun Classroom Version Of “Havana” With Jimmy Fallon And The Roots
A Brief History of the Forecastle Festival
The Duke Nukem Theme Song Performed by a Hardware Orchestra
The Top Uses of Stevie Wonder’s “My Cherie Amour” in Movies
The Best True Professional Hockey Story of All-Time: Eddie Shore
DePaul Hoops Walk On is Becoming a Celebrity for his Bench Antics
Check out Shaq’s Tree of all The Rims He Tore Down in his Career
LaVar Ball’s New 16,000 Square Foot House Tour Will Annoy You Even More
Guy Builds 15-Minute Long ‘Aliens’ Themed Roller Coaster In Sim Game
Mom Confronts Son about Porn While He’s Live Streaming Video Games
Looks like the Game Boy Classic Edition is Making a Return
The Three Best VR Games of 2017 for Oculus Rift
Roger Stone Wants Hulk Hogan to Run for the U.S. Senate
Five Things You Didn’t Know about Tony Vinciquerra
Joel McHale to Host Unscripted Weekly Netflix Variety/Talk Show
Five Things You Didn’t Know about Pablo Schreiber