The Nostalgic VHS Covers of Corny Horror Movies

Corny horror films were all the rage at one point since they were something fun to watch and were fairly easy to make for the film makers. But they were awful, let’s not sugarcoat it and pretend they weren’t. By today’s standards they were bottom of the barrel, but back when they came out they were fun.

Like the film above for instance. City of the Living Dead is basically about an undead priest that comes back to life and starts terrorizing the city of Dunwich as the dead begin to rise and the living are forced to discover what’s going on before it’s too late.

This is why you shouldn’t make fun of the awkward folks. Kathy is a high school student that got made fun of one too many times. When she’s put into a coma her spirit wanders and finds another host to latch onto. It’s through this host that she begins to pay back every person that was ever mean to her. Revenge is best when you can’t be caught.

This one’s a little confusing since it sticks to a bit of realism and doesn’t seem to do a lot of big reveals. However it is creepy enough to know that the female lead seems to have these terrifying nightmares and tends to wake up without knowing what happened the night before.

Yet another movie in which psychotic inmates have escape to ruin the lives of those that just happen to be in their way, Alone in the Dark is a film that promises bloodshed and suspense and delivers on both. The real corny part of course is the acting.

Murder by April Fool’s prank is something you don’t see often anymore, but it’s still a work of art. Muffy St. John is as clever as she is ruthless when she begins taking out her guests one by one.

Sibling rivalry is the main part of this film as two formerly conjoined Siamese twins are seeking revenge against the doctors that separated them. When the normal-looking one falls in love however the deformed one kills the woman and they fight until they both fall out of a window to their demise.

Most people think of the water as the most dangerous place to be, but no one suspects that the beach might be the real threat. If you’re in the water, stay there and paddle to a different shore.

A newlywed couple must overcome a gruesome spirit that is attempting to convince the woman that she must kill her husband. This is definitely not for those with weak stomachs.

It seems that corny films were fond of being vague and hard to understand since this film seems to be about three kids who were born on the same day in the same year and are now committing murder for some reason.

When Kaylie suffers a brain injury she’s required to go through a process of recovery that leaves her seeing things and suffering through nightmares that she can’t understand. In effect her brain has been tuned to a different station.

Kush-Ta-Ka is on the rampage and nothing can stop him but the one hunter whom he’s already mauled and is out for revenge.

When Paul’s dream girl is placed into a coma he uses an interface from his former robotic friend to bring her back to life. The only problem is that she’s no longer as friendly as she used to be.

When their cruise ship is struck and sank by an unknown ghostly vessel the crew must make their way aboard the derelict boat. The only problem is that this is exactly what the ghost ship’s undead crew wanted.

In essence this movie is without a set plot but with a lot of promise towards a very adult level of fun.

A creature that can’t be stopped, a force that can’t be reasoned. The Demonoid has come, and hell is about to reign on earth.

A toxic spill has the effect of creating a severe growth spurt within the local ant population, creating humongous insects that begin to terrorize and then take over the town.

As a small college campus begins to close down it becomes almost deserted. At that time a stranger arrives, and soon enough the few remaining students are fighting for their lives as they’re picked off one by one.

The key to youth restoration lies in the flesh-eating maggots that have been bred by an escaped mental patient.

Trapped in a funhouse of terror, four teenagers must find a way to escape before they are all silenced for good by a maniacal force that is hunting them all.

This seems to be the real accounting, dramatized, of a rapist that was notorious for picking up hitchhikers.

When a band of sorority girls decide to get back at their hated house mother for being such a downer they soon realize their mistake when something within the house begins to stalk them.

Spiders from another world swiftly invade the earth and begin to take over. Oh yes, corny.

A young man name Martin has the insane urge to drink the blood of his victims as he seeks a “normal” relationship that will quell his urges.

The moment the Valentine’s Day dance begins, the murders will resume. The warning isn’t heeded and of course mayhem ensues.

An ancient Egyptian evil is unleashed and it seems as though there is nothing that can stop it. Only a certain scroll has the power to turn it back.

A person wrongly accused of a horrible murder is now on the loose during prom night and is bent upon exacting revenge.

A giant winged serpent emerges from lands long forgotten and starts to wreak havoc in the city.

The evil dead have risen and are bound to resume their path of destruction and ruination unless someone can stop them.

The unstoppable evil of Dr. Freudstein has risen and is on the loose within the house by the cemetery, where a new family has come to live. How they will survive is anyone’s guess.

When dangerous toxins are released into the ocean the dreaded barracuda suddenly become increasingly violent and attack anything in sight.

It took everything I had not to be as cynical of these as I could. Corny is one thing, but downright terrible is another.



Leave a Reply

When Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley Roasted Each Other for 20 mins on Oprah
The Real Sound of a Mountain Lion Screaming is Absolutely Terrifying
SNL Digital Short Presents An Alternate, Sadder Vision of the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air”
Nancy Pelosi Will Guest Judge on “RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars”
Five Things Movies Get Wrong about the Coast Guard
Entire James Bond Series has been Recut into a Full Length Movie
“The Shape of Water” is Very Similar to 2015 Short Film “The Space Between Us”
Justice League Unites in Infinity War-Style Fan Trailer
Someone Put Wii Music Over A Final Destination Death Scene and It’s Pretty Tense
The Top Uses of Willie Nelson’s “On The Road Again” in Movies or TV
The Top Uses of Tears for Fears Song ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’ in Movies or TV
The Top Uses of Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors” in Movies or TV
The Best True Professional Hockey Story of All-Time: Eddie Shore
DePaul Hoops Walk On is Becoming a Celebrity for his Bench Antics
Check out Shaq’s Tree of all The Rims He Tore Down in his Career
LaVar Ball’s New 16,000 Square Foot House Tour Will Annoy You Even More
Guy Builds 15-Minute Long ‘Aliens’ Themed Roller Coaster In Sim Game
Mom Confronts Son about Porn While He’s Live Streaming Video Games
Looks like the Game Boy Classic Edition is Making a Return
The Three Best VR Games of 2017 for Oculus Rift
Five Things You Didn’t Know about The Decemberists
The Top Five Jessica Chastain Movie Roles of Her Career
How Keanu Reeves Generously Helped Octavia Spencer’s Early Career
Who Was Lorraine Hansberry? 5 Things You Didn’t Know