After the last new episode of Suburgatory, which saw Steven's cheating exposed, you couldn't really be blamed for thinking that it wouldn't be addressed. Well, at least for a little while, considering the will they/won't they status of George and Dallas heavily hinged on the fact that the latter was still legally married. Additionally, Suburgatory has never been a terribly plot-heavy show, happy to luxuriate in rapid-fire joke detonation and mirrored antics of a single dad and daughter, and the prospect of following up the revelation in "The Casino Trip" didn't feel like something it would do (yet). In a television world that likes to draw out certain plots for season upon season, getting Dallas free from her loveless marriage seemed like something to be taken care of at a later date.

Surprise, surprise, then, that "Sex and the Suburbs" didn't let us twist in the wind for too long about the fate of Dallas's marriage. In fact, following the discovery of a strange pair of panties and an enlightening conversation with pseudo-daughter Tessa, Dallas went ahead, filed for divorce, and triumphantly danced around her house. It was a touching moment, in that Suburgatory has made a point at showing the kind, warm person that Dallas is behind the leopard print. After 13 episodes of getting to know her, you want to see Dallas happy and not having to go-along with some invisible rule that a man who provides for his family to get carte blanche to do anything he wants. Although I do admit that I'm rooting for George and Dallas to find one another when the moment is right, the main reason I loved Dallas standing up for herself is that it happened due to a moment with Tessa. Call it a contrivance, I fully believe that Dallas had compartmentalized Steven's actions and it took seeing another person going through something similar for her to finally get that this was no way to live. She and Tessa have formed a pretty strong bond since the latter came to town, both filling in gaps that the other had in her life, and using that connection was simple yet very effective at moving Dallas's plot along. They may not go to the Dallas/Tessa well that often, but now that a relationship has been developed between the two, it could be wise to trot the pairing  out more often.

George, meanwhile, took it all the way back to the pilot with another freak out over Tessa possibly being sexually active. And like the cheating revelations, this traces back to last week with the discovery of Lisa's Love Box and the XL condoms. Some may decry the fact that it's essentially a repeat of a story from the pilot, but to me, it felt like a fun way to revisit the central premise of the series. George may still be in hyper-protective mode, but "Sex and the Suburbs" touched on some internal issues that gave his story a little more depth. Thus far, we've only known George Altman, lonely single dad trying to do his best for his daughter, but that loneliness and self-imposed isolation finally got to him to the point that he turned into..."Gorgeous George", babe slayer and all-around hunk-o-rama. At the behest of Noah, George tapped into a former life in order to better understand Tessa's budding sex life, hooking up with club waitress Jocelyn in order to get his groove back. Without that little touch, it would have been another "single dad hates all teenage boys" type of story, but George trying to loosen up was a nice way to approach the subject 13 episodes in. Nevermind the fact that Jocelyn is a really funny peripheral character who may now turn all Fatal Attraction, but it kept George from becoming too one note in his parental life.

But was Tessa even having sex?

Concluded on next page...

Suburgatory 1.13 "Sex and the Suburbs" Review

After nearly a year off the air, it's time for the Cul-de-sac Crew to make their return. Cougar Town last aired in May 2011 and since that time, was left off both the fall and midseason schedules. After a series of live screenings/meet and greets, loud fan complaints about the delay, and the cancellation of much-reviled Work It, the show will be back, only this time not following Modern Family.

It may have been a long journey to getting on the air for Cougar Town's third season, but in a little more than a week, the next 15 episodes in the lives of Jules, Ellie, Travis, Laurie, Grayson, Andy, and Dog Travis will be making their debut. Ahead of the season premiere, a (spoiler-y) highlight reel has been released of some of the season's upcoming gags and plot developments.

Cougar Town may have never been a show heavy on plot, but this ultimate hang-out sitcom has a sweet arc coming up in season 3. (If you're curious, fast forward to 9:43 in the video, but the entire 10 minute reel is hilarious and worth a watch.) Other highlights include the reappearance of Chick, Andy-as-Bravehart, an extended morning routine song, and every new way the Cul-de-sac Crew have found to drink wine, Tom's reputation be damned. There's another cameo from a Scrubs alum that may turn Bobby's luck around, along with talk of Grayson's underwear model career and Laurie really wanting her military boyfriend to be black.

It may look like the gang is growing up a little, with an engagement, finding a direction in life, and whatnot, but Cougar Town looks to still be the endearing mix of airtight bonds, goofy jokes, and early-onset alcoholism from six of the coolest neighbors you'd ever want to have. Conspicuously absent, though, is any mention of America's favorite game. Lou Diamond Phillips Official Bobby Cobb's Penny Can Cans for everybody!

Cougar Town premieres Tuesday, February 14th at 8:30 on ABC.

Cougar Town: Watch the Season 3 Highlight Reel

Are you ready to be scared?

If so, ABC's upcoming supernatural/horror series The River may be just for you, judging from a recently released trailer. The River brings us to the heart of the Amazon, where famed nature show host Emmet Cole had been missing (and presumed dead) for six months. Once his emergency beacon goes off, though, his family and crew make the trek back down to his last location on the off chance that he may be alive. However, what they find there is a force more powerful (and terrifying) than anyone could have imagined and the goal soon goes from rescuing Emmet to self-preservation.

The trailer for The River is full of shaky cam, tense silences, and an increasingly fractured group of Dr. Cole's loved ones trying to make it out of the jungle alive. The show may be set in a truly gorgeous location in the world, all lush greens and warm water, but behind the beauty is a sense of evil. It's almost a territorial kind of evil that is lurking on the abandoned boat, as the crew is dealing with loud noises, physical attacks, and a growing sense of dread the longer they stay there. Can they manage to combat whatever's out there, find Emmet, and make it back home in one piece? Or will The River prove to be too much and claim its next victims?

From executive producers Steven Spielberg and Paranormal Activity director Oren Peli, The River stars Bruce Greenwood as Emmet Cole, Joe Anderson as his son Lincoln, and Paul Blackthorne as Emmet's ex-producer Clark, with Leslie Hope, Eloise Mumford, and Paulina Gaitan among the other members of the cast. Paranormal Activity's Katie Featherston will be appearing in multiple episodes, as well.

The River premieres with a special two hour episode on Tuesday, February 7th at 9:00 on ABC.

The River: Season 1 Trailer Released

Appearing on Live with Kelly as the first female co-host since Regis Philbin’s retirement, Kim Kardashian opened up about her short lived marriage to estranged husband Kris Humphries. Host Kelly Ripa wasted no time in questioning her about the big elephant in the room, and all the backlash Kim suffered as a result.  Kim was very open and appeared ready to address her feelings on live TV for the first time. Balking at the wide held notion that she did it all for the money, Kim says she is a “helpless romantic” and was “in love”. In fact, Kim says being the business woman that she is, it would have made better business sense to have stayed married longer; the implication being, she could have continued to cash in.  Citing sister Khloe’s quick marriage after knowing her hubby only one month, as well as Mom Kris Jenner’s marriage to Bruce after just 5 months of courtship, Kim saw no reason it wouldn’t work for her as well.

When Kelly asked her if she is watching the recent episodes Kourtney and Kim Take New York, Kim admits she is.  Watching her family members discuss in her scenes and hearing how they felt about what she was going through is proving to be therapeutic for her. She tells Kelly that soon after the divorce announcement, she moved back in with her Mom and still splits her time between the Jenner household and sister Kourtney’s home for some much needed soul searching. At the end of the day, Kim says she will not give up being a romantic, and realizes she just needs to rewrite her fairy tale.

Kim never once mentioned Kris by name, nor did she share what exactly went wrong for her.  The closest we can get to the inner workings of the 72 day Kardashian-Humphries marriage and its breakdown is by watching Season 2 of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, which airs its season finale next Sunday, January 29 on E!. For recaps of the whole season, click here.

Kim Kardashian Co-Hosts Live with Kelly - Dishes on Divorce

When a show like Suburgatory uses its setting so prevalently in its identity, it can make getting out of town a bit of a difficult move to pull off. You want to keep the same rhythms and energy that you've honed in previous episodes, but a change in venue will inherently skew both in other directions. I mean, the entire concept of Suburgatory is a father moving his daughter to a ridiculous suburb that clashes with their urban sensibilities, so if you take one (or both) out of the funhouse that is Chatswin, you have to think it'd make a noticeable difference in the corresponding episode.

We got a taste of life outside of Chatswin in "The Casino Trip", where George wins an all-expense paid vacation to Atlantic City. The show had dipped its manicured big toe out into the real world before (most notably in "Charity Case"), but this was the first plot centered on a change in venue and honestly, it didn't disappoint. The episode didn't lose any of the distinct timing and feel that a typical episode of Suburgatory has, a major plus since most vacation episodes stick out in syndication, while managing to explore issues engrained in the pilot. George moved to Chatswin because he didn't trust Tessa in the city and that lack of trust was touched on for the first time in a while, thanks to him finding out that she had a boy over after he left for the trip. The relationship between George and Tessa has been one of the show's major building blocks and going back to test one of their Achilles Heels (without getting too sappy) felt like natural progression for the show; it was interesting, though, that Suburgatory was predicated on a misunderstanding (the condoms in Tessa's dresser supposedly weren't hers) and now, 12 episodes into the show, there's another misunderstanding of sorts (Lisa's "love box", which went unused).

The change of dynamics in "The Casino Trip" was a lot of fun, as well, with George taking gambling addict Fred, Noah, and the two not-gay dads he met at the barbecue to Atlantic City with him. George has spent a lot of his B-stories with Noah, exploring picking up their friendship after not being that close for a while, but the rest of the group, he's never spent much time with. Seeing the five of them bounce off of one another gave the episode made George into more of a full character because to this point, we haven't seen him be casual with a group of friends. Hell, aside from his thing with Dallas and pre-existing bro-ship with Noah, George hasn't really had made any friends in Chatswin, so giving him at least vague acquaintances will bring out other sides of George Altman aside from overprotective dad, eternal misfit, and lonely single dude.

"The Casino Trip" also subverted a few cliche moments when I expected it to embrace them with open arms. For one, I expected Scott to succumb to Tessa's not-so-graceful seduction and scurry out of the house just before George got back, but instead, Suburgatory made him the atypical teenage boy that wanted to take things slow. Too often, it's the boy who can't control himself around the girl and it was a nice change of pace to have Tessa be the one to go for the makeout session that she wanted; it fit with how headstrong her character can be, even with the (awesome) advice from apparent make-out queen Lisa. The lack of spit swapping may lengthen Tessa's relationship with Scott and force her to form a real, human, emotional connection with someone that can't be masked by snark or a serious tongue-down. I love Tessa's sense-of-humor, but seeing her open up to someone would be pretty gratifying and be a sign of real progress, especially if it's too a native Chatswinian.

I also thought that Fred's "Aunt Elaine" would pop up at the end and blow his spot up in the face of his $14,000 windfall. Apparently his psychic connection with Sheila only goes so far?

The other major recurring element in Suburgatory, aside from the unique father-daughter relationship, is the weird push-pull between Dallas and George, which has went from fun and flirty to rather awkward following their kiss under the mistletoe. "The Casino Trip" added a little more awkwardness with the reveal of Steven being a cheater and lying to Dallas about his round-the-world business trips, something George may or may not be revealing in a future episode. He may have agreed to keep it on the low, but George values Dallas too much, for being a friend to himself and Tessa when they didn't know anybody, to keep something like this locked up for too long. Plus, "bro code" doesn't come into play here due to how hostile Steven has been toward George, so there's not even the slightest "obligation" for the secret to be kept. If/when George does tell Dallas, I have a feeling it'll be a turning point for the two going forward. One of the major stumbling blocks to them getting together has been the fact that Dallas is married and if she's unaware of Steven's indiscretions, there'll be one less obstacle to a potential hook-up/relationship in the near future. However, it may not turn out all roses and Red Bull if Dallas knows but is living in denial (or living for the money), as she could turn against George for getting into her business.

Whatever comes from a small detail in "The Casino Trip", I'm glad Suburgatory won't be whipping us into a tizzy with an extended "will they/won't they"; adding in the layer of infidelity on Steven's side will give future George/Dallas interactions a little more tension, raising the stakes without making it too unbelievable.

"The Casino Trip" took an Altman out of the 'burbs and didn't suffer for it, as George had some friends, Tessa found out her status with Scott, and the journey toward Deorge just got a little murkier. There was progress in some recurring elements without sacrifice to the show's humor, with "The Casino Trip" being one of the more laugh-out-loud episodes Suburgatory's had recently. It wasn't perfect and it's not the show's peak in creativity, but this was a transitory episode that opens doors up for the final stretch run of the season and beyond.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"I was just told by the Davenports that Amanda got her first period."
-"4...7...3-teen..."
-"And if I don't rush to her side, she may not have a side to rush to."
-"This is bad. I'm sweaty and nervous and a little horny."
-"He's been to Africa. Africa. He's going to want to go tribal on you."
-"Times like these, I'm thankful my wife's barren."
-"And I docked something in a stripper's docking station."
-Dalia was away at braid camp. Of course she was.
-Random funny moments: Steven's speech "inspiring" the strippers to quit their job and the shot of everybody at the charity benefit looking in the camera.
-Dallas's use of "urban slang" (jiggy, crackalackin', on point, crunk) was cute but felt like a one-off joke.
-Suburgatory's off for the next two weeks ("Driving Miss Dalia" and "Halloween" will be airing, respectively), so stock up on the Red Bull and leopard print for when it returns on February 8th.

Suburgatory 1.12 "The Casino Trip" Review

Considering the rise of darker humor in recent years on TV comedies, Suburgatory's deliberate, over-the-top silliness stands out that much more. From day one, minute one, snarky comment one, the show has embraced its identity as a zany satire with an ooey gooey center, to the point where I almost hate to chide it out of respect for how self-assured it can be. Make no mistake about it, Suburgatory has multiple areas that it can improve on, but it's embrace of how colorful and frenetic it can be is one of its major assets when utilized properly.

"Out in the Burbs" gets it almost right, pitting Tessa and George in separate plots about miscommunication and the dangers of assuming things about people. The theme explored is pretty interesting and almost a way for the show to knock Tessa's indignation at living in the suburbs down a peg, as the plot here shows her that maybe you don't know everything and not to write the greater Chatswin area off at once. For being such a big, boisterous episode of an already big show, "Out in the Burbs" retains a nice emotional core to it, wearing its suburban support like Dallas wearing yet another leopard-print ensemble. That's the type of balance that has alluded Suburgatory in some episodes and the type of balance that could bring it to the next level; to help establish this world that Tessa and George inhabit, there has to be some kernel of humanity in every episode. It doesn't have to have a Full House-esque "feel good" moment at the end of each installment, but if you want your show to be able to go super silly like "Out in the Burbs" did, you have to make the overall theme of the episode somewhat important, otherwise it veers close to Cartoon Land.

And boy did "Out in the Burbs" go for it, but as much as I liked what it tried to show the main duo, their respective plots felt very sitcom-y. Yes, I know that Suburgatory is, well, a sitcom on broadcast TV, but it has too much intelligence to be putting out plots based on wacky misunderstandings. That's not to say that either Tessa's curiosity over the "closeted" new boy Josh (Dan Byrd) or George's nervousness over being around Dallas didn't have their good points. I liked seeing Lisa get all hot and bothered over the new guy, volunteering her love of Queen Latifah and "boy-ing up" in order to try and "turn" Josh straight, plus the extra interaction with Mr. Wolfe brought about a personal revelation that could have funny implications for at least the immediate future. George and Dallas, on the other hand, actually had to confront what happened at the Christmas party and the moment where you realize that it meant more to George (and that it scared him) brought a little poignancy to an episode that featured a gay butcher and jokes about melons.

Despite all of that good material (and energy), I just didn't connect to either plot that much. I do enjoy how parallel they ran, which was the catalyst for George to talk to Dallas, but it may have been a touch too much in terms of flimsy storylines that could have been solved by talking to another human being.

We did get to see basically every member of the supporting cast, though, which is another redeeming element to "Out in the Burbs" that offset its weaknesses. Granted, it was really only minor appearances by a majority of them, from Dalia's "welcome wagon" to the increasingly intimidating Sheila threatening George with coupons for half-price ground chuck, but seeing more characters regularly helps the show to breathe a little more. As much as I enjoy watching Tessa and George try to acclimate to their new environment, I like seeing the type of people that occupy Chatswin that they'll have to deal with, as well as how George and Tessa impact all the supporting characters. George has been a thorn in Sheila's side and brought Dallas back to life a little, while Tessa's given Lisa a friend and Dallas a pseudo-daughter, but there are so many other relationships and dynamics to explore that I'd like to see people like Ryan and Mr. Wolfe make more regular appearances.

Stacked with double entendres and a flurry of random pop culture references, "Out in the Burbs" may have been a little stiff in terms of plot, but there were enough good moments to make it a pretty worthwhile episode of Suburgatory. While I love and appreciate how weird and different the show can be, I hope that the powers that be never forget to keep things grounded and relatable, as the story of George and Tessa deals with issues of identity, fitting in, and friendship that go far beyond suburban satire and daddy-daughter drama. As long as that happens, I say bring on the crystal paperweight business and steroid busts.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"It's very exciting. It's like The Wire!"
-"Look at the way she eats that banana."
-"Josh was gay and it was, for lack of a better word, fabulous."
-"But his body...it's so muscular..."
-"Clay Aiken is not gay. He's just a tender soul."
-"Heidi, I love you. I love being heterosexual with you."
-"Laxatives are not illegal."
-"And if the cafeteria serves veal medallions, just say no. Seriously, you guys."
-Another fantastic message was buried in a throwaway line: the people that don't accept who you are aren't worth knowing.
-Still no Malik. Quick, someone get a search party going for the poor guy. Hurry!
-I don't know what Mr. Wolfe was bidding on, but Perfect Strangers doesn't have a box set release yet. (Seasons one and two are available for $17.28 at Amazon, though.)
-Tessa DVRs For the Love of Ray J. Perfect.
-More shirtless Jeremy Sisto. I see the producers of Suburgatory are getting my letters.
-Next week on Suburgatory: George goes on a trip to Atlantic City with a bunch of his guy friends, while Tessa and Scott try to find some time alone.

Suburgatory 1.11 "Out in the Burbs" Review

Just like every character on LOST, I'm struggling with my past. No, I'm not struggling with a heroin addiction, and no, I didn't order the genocide of everyone I once knew. My problem is much more of a struggle: it's becoming much harder for me to not be a pretentious ass. Though to be fair, if there's ever been a time where I deserved to be a know-it-all, this is indeed it.

Let me give you a little context here. LOST has a lot of emotional resonance for me because of my grandfather, who convinced me to start watching the series in the third season but died during the fifth. I consider LOST to be the show that initiated me into culture; after all, I was twelve when I started watching and sixteen when it ended. I watched the show religiously in those four years (don't worry, I watched seasons one and two on DVD), and it ended up being a formative experience for me. I learned more about philosophy, literature, and film by watching LOST and interacting with the show's community than I have anywhere else. I became an administrator for Lostpedia in 2009, and that led to me writing here, at TVOvermind. Jon Lachonis might have declared that LOST ate his life, but it shaped mine.

Flashforward two years (nothing new for LOST fans) to January 2012: the present. I've just finished the first week of my four-week class "LOST: My Religion," my course for the school's January interim term. Nothing could really describe how ecstatic I was when I discovered that such a class was being offered (I must have said "No way," at least fifteen or sixteen times). And now, at the end of week 1, I have to say that I absolutely love the class. There's only one problem: I can't help but feel that it's all about me.

The class centers upon religious and philosophical themes in the show. After all, there are plenty to go around. But aside from the teacher (who is, naturally, a really cool guy), I think I'm the only one who has seen the entire show. I've never been particularly great at humility, and so I can't help but feel a little smug when I hear my classmates (who are watching it for the first time) asking what the monster is, or why Rousseau is on the Island. I also can't help but feel a little smug when I can call into use my encyclopedic knowledge of the show (which I haven't really watched since it went off the air, though I still remember most details). I have to work really hard not to fully nerd out and make everyone hate me. Its a fine line, and sometimes I cross it, like that one time I let slip that Boone dies (totally didn't mean to).

For our textbooks, we're using Chris Seay's The Gospel According to LOST and Pearson Moore's Lost Humanity. While I'm totally digging Moore's analysis of the show, I can't say I feel the same way about Seay's book, which doesn't really uncover anything new other than vague thematic similarities between the show and the Bible. The fact that it was written before season six, arguably the show's most spiritual season, doesn't help things.

I'm about to start work on my first assignment, a five-page presentation of a thematic element of LOST. I haven't decided what I'm going to write about yet. I have decided that my final project, analysis of a character's religious implications, will be about Daniel Faraday (my favorite character) and predestination.

I promise that my blog entry for next week will be less self-centered... Actually, no, I don't. Like plenty of other fans who blogged, or edited Lostpedia, or discussed the show online, I feel like I was a part of LOST. This class is all about me.

A Lostpedia Administrator Takes a Class on LOST: Week 1

Even though Suburgatory is the story of a father and daughter trying to navigate their way through the culture shock of a new environment, there are times when it can get a bit too insular. George and Tessa have a lot of comedic chemistry together and while seeing them dryly riff with one another can be a lot of fun, for Suburgatory to be able to stand up as a series, their worlds need to be expanded. Not exponentially and not at the detriment of their relationship, but now that the two have been in Chatswin is a bit behind them, you want to see the Altmans dip their toe in the social scene of the suburbs.

In "Driving Miss Dalia", Tessa spent a lot of time away from George, having been hired by Dalia to drive her around the neighborhood of Scott Strauss, Dalia's crush. While you have to wonder why Dalia doesn't just cyber stalk like the rest of us, it made for quite a character showcase, as this is the most time we've spent with Chatswin High's Queen Bee since she apathetically sauntered into our lives this past fall. It was well worth the wait, though, as Tessa and Dalia have always had a nice rapport that has produced some of Suburgatory's best moments and tonight was no exception. I don't need Tessa to be best friends and confide in every ancillary character, but aside from George and Lisa, she hasn't interacted a whole lot with anybody else; I can understand slowly intergrating Tessa into her new life, considering how apprehensive she still is about the 'burbs, but it felt like time to put her and another character in a plot and locking the door, so to speak, to see what happens.

Even though some may object to the whole "teenage girls fighting over a boy" plot, with hottie humanitarian Scott being in the middle, I think it's a good way to give Tessa some roots in Chatswin. She has friends in Lisa, Dallas, and Malik, so she's making it in a platonic sense, but giving her a love interest ties her to the person she has the most chemistry with (Dalia) and could help her let down her guard a bit. For most of the run of Suburgatory, Tessa has been cynical and snarky, a guarded soul content on the "it's me vs. them" dynamic that she came into town with. It's been softened thanks to the aforementioned friendships, but it could be softened even more if she sees romantic potential in one of Chatswin's own.

Of course, Tessa will never fully embrace her new town, but once she builds her own world away from George, it may not seem so bad.

Speaking of George, he had his own worries this week when his guest membership at the local country club ran out and Noah lagged around on getting him approved for his own account. I've not always been keen on the George plots on Suburgatory, as they can feel disconnected, but tonight's worked well, partially due to it thematically tying in to what Tessa was going through. George had to question his friendship with Noah and whether he even wanted to be accepted by the Chatswin elite, a type of self-assessment that we don't often get to see from parents; it underscored how social dynamics from our youth continue well into adulthood and how George and Tessa have had similar experiences, on different scales. George is just as much of an outsider as Tessa is, despite his recent lothario status, and it's a plot like this that brings that up as a reminder. Though we've already had a George/Noah fight in a previous episode, any Alan Tudyk is welcome in my book, especially if it involves (hilarious) naked wrestling in a sauna and symbolic adoption at the end of the episode.

Plus, like Tessa, George needs connections outside of his family and revisiting his frenemy Noah was a fun way to do that. I mean, he has his, er, "thing" with Dallas and a fear/respect thing with Sheila, but after that, he needs more potential avenues for subplots.

"Driving Miss Dalia" was a really fun way for Suburgatory to come back after hiatus. Tessa and George got to live in the world of Chatswin a little more and we got a chance to indulge in more Dalia, who loves Lil Wayne and apparently lives in a Pepto Bismol bottle. There weren't even any tonal problems this time around, with the over-the-top elements being balanced by the subplots ultimately being grounded in acceptance and the need for human connection. Suburgatory's on a bit of a hot streak lately, three pretty good episodes in a row and counting, and if we can flesh out the supporting cast a bit more through more (mis)adventures of Tessa and George creating separate lives in the 'burbs, I have a feeling that hot streak could become more permanent.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"No, no, God, no. I'm rounding down from six."
-"Did you get whiplash watching me surpass you in every way?"
-Dalia on Tessa refusing $20 to drive her around: "Fine, I'll double it. $50."
-"Tessa, you just banged Scott Strauss."
-"I own Marty. This is my Marty!"
-"Zambia, is that, like, an antidepressant? Is that the one that gives you diarrhea?"
-"Once you've been dinged, you can't be undung."
-"I don't let Dalia have hard liquor on school nights."
-In the pantheon of Suburgatory episodes, I'd put this at or near the pilot and "Thanksgiving", the show's two best installments.
-If you missed my article full of Suburgatory spoilers, you can check it out here.
-Scott's cougar joke seemed like a shout out to Cougar Town. Love.
-The rap beat played under Dalia's "d-u-m" rant was perfection.
-Fred's back! And naked. Jocelyn's back! And awesomely weird.
-Another animal metaphor at the beginning of the episode, which recaptured some energy from the first few episodes. This time, we're talking coyotes and rabbits.
-The guy who played Scott Strauss reminded me of a younger Ed Westwick. Anybody else?
-TV Guide has a cute piece on Jeremy Sisto where he talks about making the transition to comedy and how his real life impacts his acting on Suburgatory.
-Next week on Suburgatory: Cougar Town's Dan Byrd guest stars as a new student at Chatswin High (that Lisa becomes infatuated with) and Mr. Wolfe reveals something scandalous to the student body.

Suburgatory 1.10 "Driving Miss Dalia" Review

Let's talk some Suburgatory, shall we?

Thus far in the show's brief run, we've been introduced to transsexual wino Gladys, witnessed Lisa getting naked in George's car, and the napping of Sheila's precious Shirley Temple doll collection. There have been kisses, not-gay dads, and more gossip than you can shake a Red Bull at, all punctuated by Dalia's continued duel with family dog Yakult over territory issues.

For a show that seems to have majored in big, broad, bizarre comedy, where do you go from here?

One thing is that you bring a ton of guest stars into town to mix it up with the already kooky supporting cast and maybe bring out some new dynamics. TV Line is reporting that Alicia Silverstone will be heading into Chatswin as Eden, a possible love interest for George (former Clueless co-star Jeremy Sisto) that causes a feud between him and Noah. If that little bit of 90s nostalgia isn't enough, look for Cougar Town's Dan Byrd in the second episode back as a transfer student that's actually an undercover cop. (How 21 Jump Street.) In an early March episode titled "The Black Dalia" (awesome), Robin Givens guest stars as Dallas's rival Tulsa. According to Entertainment Weekly, Tulsa is a bitchy former sorority sister to the Grand Dame of Suburgatory that intentionally tries to screw her over and outdo her ever since their first meeting.

Included in that? She has a daughter named...wait for it...Talia, according to EOnline.

As I said, awesome.

But that's not all. Jersey Shore's The Situation will be appearing on the show, as reported by Reuters. The infamous guido will be DJ-ing a Chatswin High dance, so if you've ever wanted to see Lisa fist pump like a maniac, now may be your chance. Add Wilmer Valderrama to the master list of Subur-guests, according to TV Guide. The former That 70s Show star will be playing latest Chatswin obsession Yoni, a good looking new age guru/lothario to the local moms. (I'm betting Deena Doogan is limbering up as we speak.)

The episode before we encounter Tulsa, there'll be another connection that Tessa makes; this time, it's to a poetry teacher from California, according to E. We've not seen any hints at who Tessa wants to be once she frees herself from the 'burbs, so seeing the type of person she looks up to should give us a little more insight into just who Tessa Altman is.

Even though the show will be swarming with guests, don't count out the regular cast in terms of making some plot noise. NY Mag reports that we'll be meeting Kimantha's two younger brothers Jimothy and Kevuel (hybrids of Jim/Timothy Kevin/Samuel), as well as learning that Kaitlin and Kenzie were fathered by...someone we already know. (Specifically, one of the men at the BBQ that George thought was gay.) Other tidbits include news of Mr. Wolfe's affair with Chef Alan (seen in the Thanksgiving episode) that I'm betting gets revealed sooner rather than later, Fred's fear of uncircumcised penises, and Dallas's attendance of an all-black college.

Oh, and Sheila fertilizes her roses with one third of an ovary from her hysterectomy.

You're welcome.

Check out the first two episode descriptions here and tune in to Suburgatory on January 4th at 8:30. Come back. Chatswin misses you.

How do you think Suburgatory compares to other new comedies this year? What do you hope happens with the rest of the season?

Suburgatory Spoilers: Rockin' the Suburbs

ABC wants to wish its viewers a happy holidays.  To do that, it has decided to make two of its new shows available online at ABC.com and on the ABC Player app for the iPad.

Revenge and Once Upon a Time both premiered this year and both have become hits for ABC.  The network has already ordered full seasons for each episode.  Revenge is current on its midseason hiatus (read our review of the midseason finale) and the show will return with new episodes at 10:00 p.m. ET on January 4, 2012.

Meanwhile, Once Upon a Time will be airing its midseason finale this weekend on December 11 (view a trailer for the upcoming episode).

Normally only the five most recent episodes of any given show are available on ABC.com or on the app.  However, ABC has decided to add every single episode to date of Revenge so that fans can catch up before the show returns in the new year.  All of the episodes are available now until January 3.

Every episode of Once Upon a Time will be available after December 11 until the show returns on January 8.

Watch episodes of Revenge here and Once Upon a Time here.  If you're not already fans of these shows, you should definitely watch them over the holidays.  They're both fun and enjoyable and will definitely get you hooked!

All Revenge & Once Upon a Time Episodes Available on ABC.com

Suburgatory's extensive supporting cast has been both a blessing and a curse for the young show. While having a roster of capable, interesting talent makes for innumerable options for interesting stories, it can be hard to find a place for everybody on a week-to-week basis without stretching credibility. Granted, a show like Suburgatory has been camping out on the thin line between satire and cartoon for most of its run anyway, but there are only so many ways even it could realistically bring large portions of its cast together.

One fairly reliable way for a sitcom to bring everybody together in a low amount of locations is the holiday episode, of which Suburgatory has had three thus far. Following pretty good Halloween and great Thanksgiving episodes, "The Nutcracker" was more of a mixed affair, telling a bit of a worn out story while opening up some intriguing emotional ground that could make the back half of season one rather interesting indeed. The episode mostly took place at George's holiday party, primo ground for the cast of Suburgatory to tread on and almost every recurring character got a "moment" or two of their own. While I would have preferred to see some of these familiar faces interact with one another as opposed to one/two-off characters, I have to admit that I enjoyed Mr. Wolfe's feud with the Yee family, Lisa's insight into Tessa's dynamic with her dad, and Noah's pick-up-turned-snowball-fight with George's ex; I just think that Suburgatory can stand to mix its regulars up a little bit more than it has been. It's a communal-emphasizing show full of neighborhood Events, so I'm sure that there'll be more chances to pair up characters, but on an episode based around a huge get-together, you'd think we'd get to see some new combinations.

The very capital-S Sitcom nature of the episode was a bit worrisome, as well. Not the holiday party aspect of things, which are the bare bones from which many a show has built a great episode of television. What transpired at the party veered dangerously close to being too broad/wacky, particularly George's three kisses and the fact that he was caught in the act each time by a different lady. Single dad George Altman went from being lonely and stuck in the 'burbs like his daughter to magically having three women into him at once and all three have miraculous timing, apparently. Since he and Dallas can't be together (yet), I kind of hoped that Aimee would stick around, if only to see how she could alter the dynamic of the show; I'm afraid that they're going to keep George single and Dallas married and miserable, something not conducive to growth for either one of them. In a sense, it felt like the sole purpose of "The Nutcracker" was the clear out George's suddenly full romantic closet and leave room for Dallas, which is too early and obvious of a move to make at this point.

What kept "The Nutcracker"'s head above water is the new emotional turf that it covered and the fact that we made some pretty good progress, all things considered. After weeks of undeniable chemistry and flirtation, Dallas kissed George under the mistletoe and then immediately backed away when it looked like he got weird about it. Personally, I thought that George and Dallas would go seasons without confronting their feelings for one another, so having all the girlish smiles and thoughtful gestures finally manifest themselves into a fairly passionate kiss was unexpected and surprisingly rewarding. Obviously, putting them together early would be rushed (and complicated, since Dallas is technically married), but having the light bulb finally turn on for both of them means that the dynamic has shifted a little bit and there's good material to be mined from it.

Also pertaining to George was Tessa being confronted with possible guilt she faces over being the reason George is alone, which explains why she was so desperate for Zoe to stay in the first place. It's a different approach to the single-parent-tries-to-date topic that sitcoms have implemented for decades in that it feels more modern, mature, and in-character for the relationship we've seen from George and Tessa. Of course, Tessa trying to break up George's date with Aimee (and the three lady pile-up that resulted) were a bit tired, but in a theme of "The Nutcracker", something great could possibly be coming from something that was underwhelming. I think that George and Tessa have one of the most unique dynamics on TV right now and seeing how Suburgatory handles the topic of dating from here on out should put this episode into better context in terms of its impact on the series.

Suburgatory goes into winter hiatus on the heels of an unsteady but ultimately promising episode. While "The Nutcracker" wasn't all it could have been, with its stagnant character combinations and sometimes too wacky "bits", the fact that it was mostly pretty grounded and managed to give depth to George's relationships with Tessa and Dallas makes me think that the second half of season one is ready to take a step up the Quality Ladder. A lot of sitcoms aren't comfortable covering the type of dynamics that Suburgatory has hinted that it's more than capable of doing, especially so early in its run. Usually, you see newer sitcoms focus on smaller stakes and just establishing relationships until they're comfortable enough to expand outward, but it looks like Suburgatory knows they have the characters to make a move like this early. There are all the ingredients in an average episode of Suburgatory to create something truly special and by the looks of "The Nutcracker", we may have cracked our first egg.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"Slow down, white tiger."
-"You're kind of pushy." "But I wouldn't be if I were trying to date you."
-"You didn't mean 'gosh, no' ironically?"
-"I got blindsided...like Sandra Bullock in that movie The Proposal."
-"Well, the sex was rockin' and I do get super horny around Christmas."
-"God, mom, call Yakult!"
-"I'm only gonna need one thing from you - soft rock."
-I loved Dallas's three red blinking Christmas trees and the gold VMA-ready outfit.
-Anybody know where Malik is?
-If you want some reading material, here's a super spoiler-y feature with the show's creator Emily Kapnek (Parks & Rec) and an interview with recurring guest star Chris Parnell. Also, a casting spoiler for a role mentioned by the creator.
-Sadly, this is Suburgatory's last new episode until January 4th, which features an episode titled "Driving Miss Dalia". Until then, hit the comments (or my e-mail) and let me know your thoughts on season one thus far. Who are you loving/hating? Favorite episode? Anybody you think should get more screen time?

Suburgatory 1.09 "The Nutcracker" Review

TV Line is reporting that Ellen Barkin (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) has landed a role on Modern Family. Barkin is set to play Vera, a real estate heavyweight that will give Phil Dunphy all he can handle. The character will be introduced in an episode early next year; Modern Family, whose fall finale is tonight, will return on January 4th.

Barkin hasn't done a lot of TV in her career, appearing in a pilot this year (NBC's A Mann's World), a 2001 episode of King of the Hill, and a handful of TV movies. You can currently watch the award-winning actress in the black-comedy Another Happy Day (pictured above), where she plays a woman coming home for a family wedding.

The third season of Modern Family, which has seen the show's highest ratings yet, has thus far featured several notable guest stars, including Leslie Mann (Knocked Up), Kevin Hart (Soul Plane), and Jennifer Tilly (Bullets Over Broadway), among others. Joining Barkin in appearing on the show in 2012 is Greg Kinnear (Little Miss Sunshine), who'll be playing an ally of Phil's.

Modern Family airs Wednesdays at 9:00 on ABC.

How have you been enjoying Modern Family this season? Do you think that a rivalry can further bring out the real estate shark in Phil? Are you excited to see Barkin tackle a good TV role?

Modern Family: Ellen Barkin to Guest Star

Although I really liked Suburgatory's pilot and consider it to be the best new network comedy by a country mile, the past few episodes had been underwhelming. Not bad, per se; it was just freshman series growing pains that come with trying to figure out how to tell your story and when exactly to pivot. The show has so many good pieces to it that learning how (and when) to properly utilize them seems to be the biggest obstacle it faces in becoming a truly great comedy.

"Thanksgiving" was the first episode in a while that I can say that I loved without any qualification, thanks in part to the fact that it shook up the show's typical episode structure. Usually, an episode of Suburgatory features Tessa and George with their own separate plots, with Tessa's A-plot relating to her exasperation at her living situation and George's B-plot going a little broader and more single dad sitcom-y. "Thanksgiving", however, shifts George to the background a little, gives Tessa another dueling partner in Dallas, and allows the first extended look at the Shay family in a very cute side plot, all of which noticeably freshened up the show. I understand focusing on George and Tessa at the beginning of the series, considering that it's their journey we're following, but like all formulas, that would get incredibly stale after a while. As I've mentioned before, Suburgatory has such a deep supporting bench that throwing around different combinations can only help the writers figure out where the show's strengths lie and it keeps with the almost frantic energy that has been displayed in the first eight episodes.

You could argue that the Dallas/Tessa plot was sort of an inside out version of Suburgatory, since Dallas was the fish out of water in Tessa's Manhattan stomping grounds, a move that will certainly bond them even more and allow Ms. Royce to understand where Tessa's coming from more often. The show has made a point to bring out Dallas's maternal instincts with Tessa and this could be a way to cement their respect for one another, since one of the best ways to really get inside someone's head and learn about them is to visit the town they grew up in. Dallas and Tessa are also my favorite combination of Suburgatory players, for both personality juxtaposition and the necessity of their bond to one another (Dallas doesn't really mother Dalia, Tessa doesn't have a mother).

That leads me to bring up the increased character work of "Thanksgiving", an episode where we actually spent time with the supporting cast and were rewarded with some great stuff. Aside from the aforementioned Tessa/Dallas goodness and all-but confirmation that Dallas likes George, we got a look at the Shay family in all their glory; there've been hints of the insanity that resided across the street from the Altmans, with Doll-gate, "Misery starring Sheila Shay", and the showdown over the PTA presidency, but "Thanksgiving" was a whole other level. Sheila decided to play wardrobe stylist for the family's holiday dinner, forcing Lisa into a dress that Laura Ingalls would have found too modest and eventually turning the heat up in the house to "smoke her out". Ryan and Fred, two characters that have been absent for way too long, return to be their clueless and put-upon selves, respectively. Additionally, there was the briefest of glimpses at Fun Sheila, which helped make for a fun B-plot that gave time to other members of the neighborhood and allowed for a little more understanding as to why they are the way they are.

Poor, poor Lisa.

All of this isn't even mentioning the fact that we finally met Noah's family, including his sour wife Jill and know-it-all daughter Jenna, so if there's one thing that "Thanksgiving" did well, it's give shade and depth to characters that needed a little more rounding. Here's hoping they keep fleshing out these characters because I like everybody that we've met thus far and now that George and Tessa seem to have accepted their suburban fates, it's time to see who else resides in the little boxes of Chatswin.

But mostly, I liked how grounded "Thanksgiving" was. Sure, it featured a doggy doodle, a teenage girl streaking, and shirtless pilgrims, but the episode felt more at ease and willing to take its time with its storytelling. The tone issues that the show has had, wherein they tend to go too big too often and lose a lot of humanity, were non-existent, as the episode stayed in a sweet spot of wry one-liners peppered with sweetness in all the right places. A holiday episode like this is where Suburgatory can really shine because the show can bring the heartfelt notions of togetherness and home without being too saccharine, thanks to how sarcastic the dialogue can be at times. "Thanksgiving" didn't feature the hyperactive atmosphere or the kitchen sink approach to storytelling that Suburgatory has utilized for much of its run, but it was a simple, effective way to bring a lot of good characters together and let them interact without having to fight over one another's eccentricities.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"She might cut off your cul-de-sac?"
-"Like my mother would ever let me move to Europe. She's convinced all Belgians are sex offenders."
-"If you want to be a party pooper, you can go poop in your room."
-"She looked downright Puerto Rican."
"Oh my God, Yakult, drop dead! I wish you were never born!"
-"We get it, Jenna. You go to Brown."
-Tessa looked really good with straight hair, no?
-Dalia's now a "professional party planner". Perfect.
-Suburgatory is off next week and will be reliving the traumatic doll-napping that Sheila went through instead of airing a new episode. The week after that, which is the show's fall finale, George is looking for some sexy suburban love and there's a tree-trimming party that doesn't go quite as planned.

Suburgatory 1.08 "Thanksgiving" Review

In a music, a mash-up consists of two (generally unalike) songs that are fused together to create a new song. Some of the best mash-ups have come from artists with the most differences in sound, especially if the mash-up creator can smooth out any of the rough edges that come from joining, say, hip hop with teen pop or indie rock with glittery dance music.

Suburgatory's latest episode, "Sweet Sixteen", can best be described as a mash-up between My Super Sweet Sixteen and Misery, as Tessa's plans for a quiet night in are derailed by her favorite band and George injures his back, allowing Sheila Shay to swoop in like a vulture in a sweatervest and "help him". While it was an improvement over last week's "Charity Case", the first time the show's broadness/energy was a detriment rather than an asset, "Sweet Sixteen" wasn't a step back up to the heights of the show's first couple of episodes, partially due to said mash-up of homages. Instead of being quirky and clever, the show felt more tonally disjointed and the shifts between Tessa drowning in Tessa-tinis and George taking old hysterectomy medication weren't as smooth as they could have been. I understand where they were going for with having these two plots together, as it set up a rather heartfelt final scene, but it was too much of a leap to cast Sheila as a killer and captor of all sick men in Chatswin. She's a lonely control freak with a strained relationship with her daughter, but the whole "she killed old man Tom" joke from Dallas (that George took seriously) was a little too sitcom-y "what a wacky misunderstanding!" for me.

It did let Cheryl Hines and Ana Gasteyer interact, though, which should be a goal for every single episode. Just sayin'.

Aside from tone issues, the content was pretty decent. The show continues to try and bring Dallas and Dalia together with George and Tessa, which works because of how different they are from one another. Anytime the show gives Dalia something to do, it ups the quality level immensely because Carly Chaiken's performance keeps the character from going too broad and she plays off of Jane Levy (Tessa) really well. Dalia could have easily been the typical bitchy ditz that roams the halls of Chatswin High like a panther in patent leather pumps, but Suburgatory has made a point to keep pushing her up against Tessa in hopes of producing a soul or some empathy. (Or just to emphasize their Odd Couple dynamics.) We're not there yet, but she did pick out a gorgeous, non-dirt colored dress for Tessa to wear, which shows that there may be a certain amount of respect forming between the two girls. Obviously, they still have their major differences (see: Dalia not allowing Lisa and Malik into the party), but seven episodes in and it looks like they may be on their way to begrudging toleration.

My favorite thing about "Sweet Sixteen", aside from the copious amounts of Dalia, was the sweet (if predictable) ending, that saw Tessa get the sweet sixteen party she really wanted, complete with awkward dance with her father. While Suburgatory slathers on the snark quite well and knows how to dry humor, seeing a little sweetness underneath help keeps the show grounded, which has been one of the show's early problems. I don't want the show to swap the snark for syrupy emotion anytime soon, but every now and then, it's okay to have a "moment" and to show that behind the lightning quick quips are good people that love one another. What kept the scene from being too formulaic was the presence of Dallas at Tessa's party, a choice that said more about her relationship with the Altman family than an hour of expository dialogue could. Dallas may seem like one of the Suburga-moms that Tessa actively rails against, but take away the tight clothes, Red Bull fridge, and money flaunting and you have a genuine, helpful person with a kind streak about her. Having Tessa recognize that seems to be the major reason why she's adjusted to the 'burbs this quickly, as she sees that there are actual nice people in all the SUVs.

"Sweet Sixteen" wasn't perfect, but I appreciated the ambition that was shown in its writing. Suburgatory has already shown itself to be a rather adventurous comedy, which is something that I respect. I just hope that the show keeps its ambitions realistic and do-able because what keeps me watching the show isn't how wild and zany things can get. It's the relationships and dynamics between characters; it's watching Tessa become more comfortable in an environment that she's not 100% used to while dealing with the awkwardness of being a teenager. "Sweet Sixteen" managed to work in some good character moments while getting more of the (fantastic) supporting cast involved, as well as taking the action out of the school, but Suburgatory has to be sure to keep its characters first and any grandiose plot ideas second if it hopes to take any steps up in the near future.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:

• "Gray chest hair. So this is what it's come to."
• "You have a veiny forehead."
• "Yeah, I don't like any of those words."
• "You're getting meaner in your old age. Did you know that?"
• "Hey! You have an overbite! Call me!"
• "I felt close to the diamonds, also."
• Grade-wise, this is still a B/B- like most of season one's episodes have been. It's been fairly steady, but there's yet to be a big leap up in quality to take it from being pretty good to being great.
• Question: where's Sheila's husband? He was in one episode and hasn't been mentioned since.
• It makes me sad that Average Shelf Life never sang about a prostitute that becomes a scientist. Quick, someone write a song about a prostitute that becomes a scientist!
• In Suburgatory pop culture news, Kimantha loves The Thin Red Line. Of course.
• If you have a bit of time, check out a pretty interesting interview with Suburgatory's showruner Emily Kapnek that touches on the show's formation and possible future storylines. (It's not very spoiler-y, though.)
• Future guest stars: Wilmer Valderrama and The Situation.
• Next week: Tessa gets Dallas to take her to the city for Thanksgiving, George is caught making out with a woman, and Sheila continues torturing poor, poor Lisa.

Suburgatory 1.07 "Sweet Sixteen" Review

Lone Star may have been the first casualty of last year's fall season and Georgetown may not have been picked up for this season, but that hasn't stopped James Wolk from remaining rather busy lately. Following news that he'll be appearing on the second season of Showtime's Shameless, it appears that Wolk is ready for a Happy Ending or two.

TV Line is reporting that Wolk will be playing Max's (former high school) boyfriend that gets close to him again on multiple episodes of Happy Endings. No word on when his first episode will air, but this is a good sign for the show, as none of the single members of the cast (Max, Penny, Dave, Alex) have had a recurring significant other, so this is a welcome bit of world building.

Aside from his previously mentioned credits (and future credits), Wolk has appeared in As the World Turns and the Hallmark Hall of Fame TV movie Front of the Class, as well as movies You Again and The Spiral Project. He's currently filming For a Good Time, Call..., a comedy about two women that start a phone sex line starring Seth Rogen and Justin Long.

Happy Endings airs Wednesdays at 9:30 on ABC.

Are you welcoming the news of a new boyfriend for Max? How do you think Wolk will handle comedy?

Lone Star's James Wolk to Guest Star on Happy Endings

ABC has dished out a few full season pick-ups for several of its new shows.  First up is Once Upon a Time.  Only two episodes have aired, but the show is averaging over 12 million viewers and a very solid 4.0 in the 18-49 demon.  The show also didn't lose any viewers from its pilot to the second week, which is very rare.  As one of my favorite new shows of the season, I hope that viewers will continue to embrace this show and I'm very pleased about this news.

Happy Endings, which originally served as a midseason replacement last season has held well on Wednesday nights, averaging close to 8 million viewers.  ABC has decided to pick up the show for a full season.

Tim Allen's return to the world of television with Last Man Standing also got a full season pick-up.  The show is averaging over 12 million viewers and is clearly performing well on Tuesday nights.

Pan Am was not given a full season order....at least not yet.  The show premiered well but has lost viewers along the way and isn't performing as well as the other shows that were given pick-ups.  However, ABC has decided to give the show a chance and has ordered 5 additional scripts for the show.  Pan Am also has a new showrunner and it's possible the show could gain more viewers and get a full season order.

ABC Orders Full Seasons for Once Upon a Time, Last Man Standing & Happy Endings

If there's one thing that I'd like to see Suburgatory work on, it's the fact that it has weird tonal shifts that come out of nowhere. I actually welcome the fact that after six episodes, this show has so many different avenues and story angles that it could go down, likely producing a solid series in the process; I just think that the show has been a little jerky in terms of when it expresses each side of its identity. The first spurt of Suburgatory episodes may all have funny lines and character aching to be thrown together in varying combinations, but they've also suffered from a clear identity crisis.

In "Charity Case", the show goes back to the broad humor of a couple of past episodes and amps up the cartoon-y nature of the events by about a billion. Having Tessa focus her efforts/negative feelings on the people of Chatswin now that she's seemingly okay with her residence in Suburgatory was satisfactory enough, but I think that "Charity Case" played it a little too silly and big without grounding the show enough. It's the first time where the show's gotten away from itself and zoomed about for 20 minutes, dipping and zipping and damn near flailing about; I don't mind a little manic energy in my comedy and it's been established that Suburgatory likes to go large, but it was a strange choice after last week's slower, calmer Halloween episode that focused primarily on character building.

You could argue that there was character building here, as we find out that George was fairly popular in his youth and Noah has an inferiority complex when it comes to George, but I don't know if the ends justify the time it took to get there. Watching George with someone aside from Dallas for once is a nice change of pace, even though I enjoy Cheryl Hines immensely, so I appreciated the pairing with Noah, but it felt very Standard Issue Sitcom. Sure, Suburgatory has shown that it can spice up mundane-sounding plots with its extremely witty dialogue, which is present in spades here, but it fails to completely save The Adventures of the Skylight King from being a little underwhelming. In a nutshell, George is putting in a skylight in Noah's super high-tech bathroom, takes a shower, is caught by the maid in said shower, freaks out, slips, and hits his tooth, requiring dentist Noah's assistance. When Noah won't give him a discount, all bets are off and while picking at their bond is something that needs to happen more often, to figure out why they're friends and what made them so close, I hope it happens under a different structure next time.

We also learned that Tessa's (fairly) altruistic, although her plot regarding to wasteful Chatswin High students going from trying to save the skin of Floridians to trying to save Tessa from herself (after being introduced to Tessa's friend from the city Gladys, a homeless transsexual) didn't highlight that fact as much. I understood where this storyline was going and I think it was a fairly decent double as opposed to being a full on grand slam; it opened up the school a little more and let us see what Chatswin High is like, as well as giving Reggie Lee a more to do, but instead of being rote and unmemorable like George's plot, this was more unbelievable for unbelievable's sake. Having characters and situations that are larger-than-life is one thing, but what Suburgatory accomplished in most of its first batch of episodes is having a semblance of reality to tie the crazy to. Without that strong core, Tessa's plot quickly turned messy and over-the-top, stretching the limits of believability in terms of the intelligence of certain characters and taking the satire to a place it didn't need to go.

The cast of Suburgatory is so good that I would watch them gather together to read War and Peace, but "Charity Case" is the first time that I've felt underwhelmed by the show in its short history. It's not an awful episode of television and there are lines and moments that make it fairly watchable, but I just know that the show can accomplish so much more than something like this. In time, Suburgatory will know itself enough to know when, where, and how to utilize each of its mode without upending the applecart, though it's already been self-assured in terms of its rhythms from the first couple of episodes on. While I enjoy the combinations that the show keeps throwing at us, notably George & Dallas and Tessa & Dalia, I'd like to see more of a shuffle in terms of plotlines and who interacts with who, as well as even more fleshing out of peripheral characters. The possibility for Suburgatory to become one of the best comedies on television is out there, ready for the taking. All that remains is the show stepping up even more and snatching its rightful spot as a go-to comedy for years to come.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:

• "At the risk of sounding negative, people out here are stupid."
• "Tessa, do you know what this is?!" "A dramatic mood shift?"
• "Where is Orlando?"
• "You're the face of Florida's face."
• "If it's extra cheesy, then I guess we should do it."
• "Thank you for stopping by our shanty. We'll see you around the soup kitchen."
• "You're poorer than everyone else and some people question your ethnicity."
• Funny sight gags: Noah in the show and coming out much, much less orange; Tessa eating a trash apple; Gladys's tacky outfit looking exactly like something Dallas would wear.
• Sighting: Katie Micucci (Raising Hope) in the dentist's office! No ukelele, though.
• She may have been noticeably absent tonight, but Ana Gasteyer has been named a regular on the show.
• Suburgatory's on hiatus next week due to the Country Music Association Awards, but in two weeks, Tessa's plans for a low-key 16th birthday party get derailed by Dalia and George throws his back out, only to be "aided" by Sheila.

Suburgatory 1.06 "Charity Case" Review

Did I miss something on Revenge?  How is Lydia still alive?  She fell five stories onto a car - which she crushed - and she just ends up in a coma?  Did they hint at this in the previous episode?  Do I need to go back and watch her finger twitch or something?

To be honest, I kind of thought they would follow through on killing Lydia, if only because it was such a game-changing moment.  It seems a bit less dramatic to just put her in a coma.  But, I can deal.  After all, she was getting pretty awesome in the last episode and I would have been sad if they had deprived me of future moments where she finally stood up to Victoria.  The ultimate cat fight, people!

But let's not get off track.  Tonight's episode of Revenge was a bit slower-paced than the previous ones to date.  No one's life got destroyed and no one fell onto a car, but the plot did move along nicely.  Let's begin with Nolan and Emily, who were both shocked by Lydia's new comatose state and the evidence they held of Frank being responsible for said comatose state.  In order to prevent any fingers from being pointed at them should Lydia awaken, they decided to go on the offensive and sent an anonymous email to Conrad, along with the video of Frank and Lydia.

Naturally, Conrad was shocked, but he decided to deal with the matter quickly.  He told Frank they should "part ways", gave him a check and offered up his plane so he could get the hell out of the Hamptons.  Frank was less enthused about this plan.  Later, Conrad was forced to show Victoria the video to prove Frank is a very bad man.  But instead of leaving quietly, Frank approached Victoria and professed his love for her, albeit in a very creepy manner.  When she refused to have anything else to do with him he decided to go do some investigating at Lydia's apartment and learned that Nolan was seen entering it.

Frank quickly realized that Nolan was somehow involved in making that video.  He wrongly thought that perhaps Conrad was the one giving Nolan the orders.  But, as he soon told Victoria, if Conrad didn't make the video, then who is the mysterious third party interfering in their business?  Well, we know it's Emily, and I think Frank is starting to realize that as well.  After all, as Nolan warned her about Frank, "he's better at this than we are".  That's right, sweetheart, Frank's been around the block, and now he's coming for you.

Meanwhile, Tyler is still acting incredibly creepy.  I keep veering between "he's in love with Daniel and is jealous of Emily" and "he just wants to take over Daniel's life".  I think my first instinct is stronger, but there's a shred of doubt.  Bottom line is he's crazy either way.  When Emily poked serious holes in one of his stories and embarrassed him at dinner, he decided to take some revenge by drugging Daniel during his first shift at the Stowaway.  When he put his friend to bed, he sort of made a pass at him.  When Daniel rejected him, Tyler decided to show the fact that he's quickly approaching "crazy town" but banging himself in the head and then telling Victoria that Daniel had attacked him after drinking.  Emily quickly delivered a warning that she was on to him and his shady ways.

Finally, the Porter boys both made some grand gestures with their respective lady friends, but only one of them ended up getting the girl.  Declan wanted to take Charlotte out to a fancy restaurant, but that idea didn't end well because he has no money.  Eventually he laid his cards out on the table and told her that, but she didn't seem to care.  Jack, meanwhile, who is being pushed by Nolan into pursuing Emily, told her he has feelings for her.  Unfortunately, Emily shot him down because she's with Daniel.  Well, she's with Daniel because she's trying to get revenge against his family for destroying her life.  But, you know, she's with Daniel.

All of this, of course, begs a few questions:

• Why is Nolan pushing so hard for Jack to get together with Emily?  Is he trying to interfere in her plans for some reason we don't know?  Or is he doing it for her best intentions because he thinks she'll be happy with Jack?
• What is Tyler's ultimate plan here?  If he really loves Daniel and can't have him, will he settle for disgracing Daniel and essentially taking over his life?  Or was that his plan all along?
• Will Lydia ever awaken from her coma?  If she does, will she be horribly damaged from falling onto a car from five stories above or no?
• Will Frank learn Emily's secrets?  And if he gets too close, how will Emily react?
• If Frank does learn something about Emily, will Victoria be prepared to trust him again?
• How did Frank manage to keep his love for Victoria a secret for all these years?  Seriously, is he the most patient guy ever?

Like I said, this was a slower episode of Revenge, but enjoyable nonetheless.  And it set up some interesting storylines going forward.  I can't wait to see how Mr. Frank "Because he's better at this than we are" Stevens reacts next week.  To tide you over, check out photos and a trailer for the November 2 episode here.

By the way, did you know that ABC offers one free song for download from each episode of Revenge?  This week it's "Second Friend" by Megafaun.  Go take a look at ABC's Music Lounge for more details.

Revenge Episode 6 Recap: I Don't Think Frank is Going Anywhere

For it's first four episodes, Suburgatory seemed to have ingested a handful of Red Bulls from Dallas Royce's fridge, as the show went about a mile a minute and enough punchlines to fill an entire season of lesser comedy. It was a very funny, whip-smart amalgamation of a fish-out-of-water story, a tale of daddy-daughter bonding, and a hodgepodge of pop culture influences that had a pretty distinct point-of-view.

Who knew it took slutty mushrooms, a near demonic possession, and inappropriate Christmas cards for the show to slow down and take a breath?

Don't get me wrong, "Halloween" was still very much a Suburgatory episode, heavy on the snark and doubling down on the snort-worthy punchlines/reveals, but there was a little more character building and bonding going on than usual and the episode was better for it. The episode followed up on the obvious tension George and Dallas exhibited in last week's episode with even more flirtation, which was subverted by the arrival of Dallas's husband Steven (Jay Mohr). We hadn't learned a whole lot about Steven prior to "Halloween", but from the looks of his brief appearance, Dallas's character just got fleshed out in a big way. She was already the most developed Suburgatory-ite, even from her few scenes in the show's pilot, and "Halloween" told us a lot about her marriage without much interaction between the two spouses. It seems like Dallas's sparkly-eyed gazes at George are due to the fact that her own marriage is pretty dormant, with obviously rich Steven more concerned about his no shoes policy than the man in the executioner's mask creeping around his house and Dallas unwilling to let her husband kiss her anywhere but the top of her head. For being a sitcom, it was quite a sad touch; Dallas is such a chirpy, bright spirit that seems to be masking a world of hurt behind her big grin and gaudy fashion sense.

We didn't get much of a sense of who Steven was, though, and I'm curious how they're going to reconcile his presence into the rest of Suburgatory. It's been mentioned that he works a lot and tends to stay away, but now that he's here, what effect will he have on Dallas? Or George? Hell, or Dalia? The wealthy-dead-only-cares-about-his-money trope is one that has been used a lot in media, especially TV, and seeing how a show that openly mocks certain tropes handles something like that going forward should make for interesting angles in proceeding episodes.

Neighborhood Association (and gumdrop rainbow enthusiast) Dallas and George's plot was quite cute in "Halloween" and I appreciate how they're making her one of the go-to characters early on in the show. I'd like to see some of the outlier characters (Sheila, Ryan, Fred, Mr. Wolfe) catch up a little bit on the character development train, but having Dallas be the person to keep George company and show Tessa that Chatswin isn't go bad is more than satisfactory at this point in the game.

While George was busy trying to show Dallas that sometimes being scared is okay (a subtle nod to Tessa's realization that she's fine now with being in the 'burbs?), Tessa was embodying the spirit of not-dead-dead-girl Misty, thanks to a nasty bump it, a bright blue track suit, and the addition of the word "redonk" to her vocabulary. When I first read the synopsis for "Halloween", I thought it was going to be like the My So-Called Life Halloween episode, where Angela has visions of (and interacts with) a former Liberty High Student, so I was relieved to find that Suburgatory went after this type of plot with tongue planted firmly in cheek. Just as George got to bond with Dallas, Tessa got to spend more time with her new friends Lisa and Malik, who were scared to death that she had "become" Misty. It was a nifty little take on the typical outcast-girl-becomes-popular-and-forgets-her-friends story that a lot of sitcoms have done, especially since it culminated in a bizarre almost-exorcism and Misty's reappearance as a snotty angel.

I don't know if she's supposed to be a new addition to the world of Suburgatory, as she said now that she's not dumb anymore, her parents would take her back to Chatswin for trick-or-treating, but the character of Molly made what could have been a silly reveal that much funnier. Amounting to a brunette member of the KKK (Kenzie, Kimantha, and Katelyn, who were dressed as cowgirls tonight just because), Molly was very funny in her limited appearance, logistical questions not withstanding.

Suburgatory's Halloween special took a time out from its regularly scheduled breakneck speed to spend time with an increasingly friendly George and Dallas, while solidifying Tessa's newfound relationships with Lisa and Malik. While I love the show's sense of humor and think that the fact it already has a well-constructed identity to be a positive sign going forward, episodes like this are necessary for us to fully invest in the characters. Both George's story and Tessa's story worked because even though Halloween is a holiday built on masking oneself and hiding from the world, the daddy-daughter duo let down their guards ever so slightly and realized that the people of Chatswin may not be so bad after all.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:

• "That's enough. You're good at Halloween."
• "I was gonna cut Tessa's head off with my guillotine, but I really have no follow through, so..."
• "I went during the flush."
• "Who let all these bees in here?"
• "Ho just died. Sucks."
• "But we don't have a lot of time. Hoarders comes on in an hour."
• 'I'm going to kill you last." "I appreciate that. I have dinner plans tomorrow."
• "Lisa, still redonk, I see."
• "That stings! What is that, you pimp?!"
• Where do you think Chatswin is? I keep trying to guesstimate by using the show's opening sequence, but it goes by so fast, I can never get a good look. I'm thinking it's either Connecticut or Massachusetts, but I could very well be wrong.
• The best running gag was Tessa's elaborate stories about the tombstone in the yard.
• I loved Malik's Jam Master Jay costume and would gladly rock that every Halloween until the end of time.
• Dallas's fears include bats, twins, mice, and triangle eyes.
• Next week: Tessa tries to get her school more involved in charity, but it backfires in a big way. George and Noah have a tiff over a dental bill. (You'd think Noah would let George install a panic room and call it even, but no...) Also, a transsexual homeless person.

Suburgatory 1.05 "Halloween" Review

An uneventful night performance wise on Dancing with the Stars week 6, as JR Martinez and Ricki Lake both performed score tying quicksteps and top the leaderboard with 29.  Hope Solo and Chaz Bono did not fare so well and find themselves at the bottom of the leaderboard separated by one point.  Now for the real story.  A Halloween fright fest, or should I say fight fest, came a week early on DWTS. Broadway Night turned into Brawl Night as Maks single handedly took on the judges.It all started innocently typically enough when Len commented that this rumba was Hope’s worst dance. The audience boo’d and Maks encouraged them. The free for all ensues from there. See video below.

Up in the skybox where nobody can interrupt, Maks continued his tirade “This is my show, I made it what it is and love all the pros and all the celebrities who put in effort and I’m tired of some being judged on effort and some on ‘heelies’” which is his reference to Len’s comments that Hope’s costume boots prevented her from being on the ball of her foot and made her use too much heel. Whew!  And on to the rest of Broadway Night:

Rob Kardashian’s cha cha to “Walk Like A Man” from Jersey Boys: The dance started out with promise as Rob channeled Maks’ butt shake but seemed to peter out. Len thought it had good timing but no rhythm and Bruno thought it adequate. Carrie Ann, still crushing on Rob, focused on the fact that he showed more charisma than ever before.

Nancy Grace’s foxtrot to “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” from Spamalot: Nancy wanted more difficult choreography and she got it. Tristan put her through some paces and she handled it really well, scoring her first 9 courtesy of Carrie Ann. Bruno dubbed her Nancy Dancalot and said she captured the feel of the musical. Len enjoyed that her personality came out but chided her footwork. Carrie Ann felt she nailed it.

David Arquette’s quickstep to “We Go Together” from Grease:  Carrie Ann says performance was good but out of sync. Len thought it rough around the edges but was high energy and full on. Bruno said the energy was there, but landed on wrong foot.

Ricki’s quickstep to “Luck Be a Lady Tonight” from Guys & Dolls:  Desperate to take her #1 spot on the leaderboard back from JR, Ricki gave it her all. Len says she proved her talent.  Bruno said she showed impeccable style and the interpretation of music was beyond belief. Carrie Ann called it poetry in motion, worthy of its own Tony Award.

Chaz’s tango to “Phantom of the Opera” from the musical of the same name:  Bruno compared him to a penguin, which was totally rude. Carrie Ann wants him to up the ante but said he had the attitude to make his tango work. Len said he got through the routine, good job, but the tango doesn’t suit his personality.  The upset on Chaz's face was sad while listening to all this, and he and Lacey seemed bereft upon hearing their weak scores.

Hope’s rumba to “Season of Love” from Rent: Okay, I understand Maks’ resentment, but Hope just did not perform well. She just doesn’t have the natural moves of a dancer. Carrie Ann says natural sexiness came out in moments, but goes against her natural feistiness; We know what Len said, see above. Bruno, even though he tried to reign it in, just added to the negativity by saying it didn’t gel.

JR’s quickstep to “Hot Honey Rag” from Chicago: It was so good, the judges didn’t have much to say. Len thought it bested Helio Castroneves’ quickstep from Season 5. Bruno simply said it was a hit. Carrie Ann said Bob Fosse would have been proud.

How could Broadway Night be complete without Carson Kressley? It wasn’t. The show invited Carson Kressley back to help with the group dances. Calling himself the ‘creative director’, Carson says he was brought in to bring a little razzle dazzle to the performance. Not sure what he contributed besides getting a chance to hug Maks tight when Maks feigned an injury. But it was still a treat to see him. The group dance, different than in previous seasons where 2 groups faced off, had the entire cast doing a cabaret-esque number to “Big Spender” and “Money.” It was well choreographed and everyone had a chance to shine, particularly Nancy. She promised a hand stand right on Tristan’s face and she delivered.

Here’s how everyone stacked up:

Week 6 Leaderboard

• Ricki & Derek 29
• JR & Karina 29
• Nancy & Tristan 24
• David & Kym 23
• Rob & Cheryl 22
• Hope & Maks 20
• Chaz & Lacey 19

Hope and Chaz are definitely in jeopardy score wise, but because the judges were so rough on them without their making any obvious errors, it might cause voters to rally and try to save them. There is also much support for Maks in telling off the judges, so that outburst could even be what saves them.  It’s just so unpredictable this season, anything can happen. David or Rob could be voted off just as easily. We’ll find out tonight on Dancing with the Stars Results Show, Tuesday, October 25 at 9 p.m. (ET) on ABC.

Dancing with the Stars Week 6 Rankings: JR & Ricki Battle for 1st place; Maks Battles Judges! (video)

Less than a month before the show's November 20th premiere, the American Music Awards have added Christina Aguilera, Justin Bieber, Maroon 5, Kelly Clarkson, and Mary J. Blige to its performance roster. Previously announced as performing are Katy Perry and Pitbull, the latter of which helped announce nominees for the 39th annual AMAs.

It's a pretty solid crop of new additions, but a performance-heavy awards show like the American Music Awards is only just getting started. Last year's ceremony had a whopping 18 performances from a random assortment of music's brightest stars and respected veterans, so I wouldn't be surprised to see the 2011 AMAs matched or surpassed that total.

Each of the five new performers is either getting ready to release new music or will have relatively new music out before the show premieres, as Bieber's Christmas album is due on November 1st, Clarkson's new album was released today, Blige's My Life sequel will arrive the week of the AMAs, and Maroon 5's Hands All Over re-release has been in stores a short while. Aguilera, Perry, Pitbull, and Bieber all performed last year, with Blige, Clarkson, and Maroon 5 having made appearances in the past.

Leading the AMA nominations this year is Adele, who is having a year to remember by anyone's standards. She's at the head of the pack with four nominations (including one for Artist of the Year), while the likes of Rihanna, Taylor Swift, and Lady Gaga picked up three. You still have time to vote for the winners by heading over to the show's website.

Who would you like to see perform at this year's AMAs? Of the most recent additions, who do you think will put on the best performance? Are you planning on watching the American Music Awards this year?

Justin Bieber, Kelly Clarkson Among Performers Added to the AMAs

Get set for another theme week on Dancing with the Stars. Week 6 is Broadway week, in which each couple will dance to a famous show tune. Emmy and Tony Award winning singer/actress Kristin Chenoweth (the original Glinda from Wicked) will appear both nights this week, performing “Maybe This Time”, “I Could Have Danced All Night” and “Lessons Learned,” the latter from her new album “Some Lessons Learned.” 

We’re down to seven couples remaining and have reached the mid-point of the season. And that means the nerves, tension and overall competitive spirit are fiercer. So what will the stars and pros dazzle us with  tonight? Mostly the quickstep and few other new dances, plus the group dances. The couples will be split into groups of 2, each performing to a Broadway theme. The judges will be looking at choreography, execution, but mostly at the patterns. The group has to stay in sync, one flub and the score will tank.

Nancy and Tristan are staying mum on the Broadway show for their dance, but here's what's out there on the other couples:  

• JR Martinez & Karina Smirnoff:  Quickstep (Chicago)
• Ricki Lake & Derek Hough:  Quickstep (Guys & Dolls)
• Rob Kardashian & Cheryl Burke: Cha cha (Jersey Boys)
• Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus: Foxtrot
• Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer: Tango (Phantom of the Opera)
• David Arquette & Kym Johnson: Quickstep (Grease)
• Hope Solo & Maks Chmerkovskiy: Rumba  (Rent)

Other guests this week include the Broadway cast of “Sister Act”, Martina McBride and Corbin Bleu of “High School Musical.”  Dancing with the Stars week 6 of Season 13 kicks off Monday, October 24 at 8 p.m. (ET) on ABC.

Tonight on Dancing with the Stars Week 6: It’s Broadway Night

Once Upon a Time, the new ABC series from LOST executive producers/writers Adam Horowitz and Eddy Kitsis that debuts on Sunday, redefines the concept of ‘happily ever after.’ The series is a deliciously clever spin on familiar and beloved tales and characters, presented in two vastly different worlds. Characters living in modern-day Storybrooke are alive, but they don't remember who they once were in fairytale land; characters living in fairytale land are not aware of their contemporary counterparts. The show will explore the origins of all characters, as the future of both worlds is in their hands.

Initially I was hesitant to use the words ‘magical’ and ‘whimsical’ to describe Once, because I wondered whether or not that would turn potential male viewers away. While Once is not a sci-fi show, there are aspects of the series that may require the same suspension of disbelief that we all so eagerly apply to shows like Fringe and LOST.

I strongly believe that Once will appeal to both genders of all ages, because regardless of what your childhood was like - you had one. And your active imagination will hit on all cylinders when you watch the show. You will find yourself smiling when you recognize specific names and scenes coming to life from the pages of your bedtime stories, and very entertained by the fresh perspectives on the tales that you grew up reading and listening to.

At Comic-Con earlier this year, I had the opportunity to sit down with the creative team at a press roundtable after the Once Upon a Time panel. Here are the highlights.

Horowitz: “These stories are so iconic and ingrained in all of us. There is a deep well to draw from, but we want to start with this core group of characters - take our time and explore who they really are. These are the first stories you hear as a child, so for two people who grew up wanting to be writers – that was your first influence. Once the show got picked up, we watched Sleeping Beauty again, and it opens in the same way. We hadn’t watched that since we were children! You don’t realize the subconscious; it gets so stuck in you – the archetypes of good and evil. All these themes begin there. It’s not just about storytelling, it is about living your life.”

Kitsis: “What we wanted to do was take the icon to the person. We want to see what Snow White is like as a woman. What would Snow White really be like? “

Horowitz: “When we sat down to write those scenes in particular (referring to the relationship between Snow White and Prince Charming), we realized – they’re a real couple. That became our guideline for everything we did in the fairytale land. The reality.  All of the other stuff around it is fun to see, but if we have that baseline of reality, then there is something we can relate to, that makes the characters feel real.”

Kitsis: “For us, this series is about hope. That’s what I love about fairytales.”

Horowitz: “On every level, from the dialogue to the set dressing – we are making sure that the stories are thematically connected. There is a reason for everything you’re watching.”

Kitsis: “We learned on LOST that it is character first. I want to know why the Evil Queen hates Snow White. Why did she go to these lengths?  That may be answered in an episode - but if you weren’t asking that question when you get the answer – it doesn’t detract from watching it.”

Horowitz: “Our goal is that you can put on your slippers, lean back and enjoy the episode of the week. But if you look closely…you will see things in there that carry on from week to week.”

Kitsis: “Sure, there are LOST shout-outs. We try to put little things in, because that’s what we love.”

[editorial sidenote: there are many obvious and subtle nods throughout the pilot!]

Horowitz: “We have a plan of where we’d love to go, given the opportunity.”

Kitsis: “We’ve been given 12 episodes. We don’t know if we’ll ever get more than that. We are trying to make the best 12, and THEN we’ll worry about what’s in the hatch.”

The ensemble cast of Once, comprised of many recognizable film and TV alum, is fantastic: Lee Arenberg (Pirates of the Caribbean). Robert Carlyle (SGU Stargate Universe). Josh Dallas (Thor). Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad; yes, Gus Fring has transitioned into the Magic Mirror). Jared Gilmore (Mad Men). Ginnifer Goodwin (Big Love). Jennifer Morrison (House). Lana Parrilla (Swingtown). Raphael Sbarge (Prison Break). In addition, LOST fans will be happy to note that the former Charles Widmore (Alan Dale) has also joined the cast of Once, to play Prince Charming’s father.  True Blood’s Kristen Bauer will also be appearing as Maleficent in the second episode.

Once Upon a Time is a journey, an adventure down memory lane with unusual twists and turns, and a series that successfully intertwines the darker moments with amusing homage. Among all Fall 2011 TV pilots that I viewed before they aired, Once stood out as the most unique, and as the only new show that feels more like an experience than a series. And after recently viewing the third episode (screeners are often available out of order), I am confident in my original assertion that Once is indeed the best new show of the season and definitely season-pass worthy.

Introduce yourself to both worlds on Sunday at 8pm on ABC, when Once Upon a Time debuts. If you’d like to watch the entire pilot beforehand, it is available right now on IMDB!

Don't forget to join Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz for a live chat on Facebook today from 1:30pm-2:00pm EST, and follow the official show via Twitter.

Welcome to "Once Upon a Time" - The Best New Show of 2011

Though Suburgatory has made it its mission to expose some of the cracks in the suburbs during its first three episodes, ranging from the exaggerated vapidity of its residents to the homogenized quality of life, it took on one of the positives in "Don't Call Me Shirley". The suburbs may be a place where everybody knows your name, which subsequently can get dragged through the mud at any given time, but they're usually a rather quiet, safe, secure place practically tailor made for families with children. Like it or not, the 'burbs offers a sense of security that's hard to beat anywhere else.

Which is exactly why George moved Tessa there, considering how she now longs for the sound of police sirens, and why the theft of Sheila Shay's prized collection of Shirley Temple dolls (come back, Lollipop Shirley!) was such a good plot for them to explore. Thus far, Suburgatory has tried to dispel the idealized notion that the suburbs are this Garden-of-Eden-with-a-mall, so what would happen if the safety of its residents was threatened, even slightly? Aside from an increased interest in panic rooms and mouth guards, the Chatswin residents were fairly resilient, which was kept the show a little more grounded when it could have gone super broad.

Well, all the Chatswin residents were fairly resilient...except for Dalia and Dallas, who moved in with George and Tessa until things blew over. "Don't Call Me Shirley" threw the fearsome foursome together for an extended amount of time and watching their interactions, you kind of wish they had done it sooner. Sure, they've been to dinner parties and school together, but being alone in a house with Dalia Royce is an experience in and of itself, to say the least. Although the more people the show involves, the better it gets, I like that they're already trying to establish that the Royces are more than just neighbors down the street. A show with such a deep bench like Suburgatory can have more peripheral characters come by, say something funny, and be involved in only a couple of minutes with no problem, but it needs steady presences of other characters than George and Tessa in order to thrive. They don't need to be best friends or anything, but deepening relationships will always be a good thing for a sitcom to do, especially one that can get as zany as Suburgatory.

I actually love how breakneck its rhythm can get, especially because the jokes can come pretty fast and furious, but you have to be able to care about the characters first, otherwise the show can get a little cartoon-y. Luckily, Suburgatory has (so far) managed to zig when it needs to zig and zag when it needs to zag, so as long as they continue gradually shining new lights on the characters (i.e. Dallas's throwaway line about how she sometimes feels like a single parent since her husband is always one), bring on the craziness.

The show explored security on a different level by keeping Tessa locked away nice and cozy in Suburgatory. After realizing she was completely over the suburbs, Dalia Royce, and histrionic reactions to doll nappings, she tried to take the fall for Shirley-gate, but alas, no one leaves the suburbs quite that easily. I found it pretty interesting that the show juxtaposed the idea that while the suburbs are a fairly safe place that gets worked up over the slightest bit of criminality (i.e. trying to keep other people locked out), all Tessa wants to do is get out and she can't (i.e. she's locked in). At least not until she's 18. The plan with Dalia, though not quite as effective as faking a pregnancy would have been, seemed like a last ditch effort by somebody that was getting desperate to return to their old life; however, she had to know that it wouldn't be that effective. Try as she might to avoid thinking about it, Tessa knows how similar she is to her father and how much he wants to be in Chatswin, so she needed something a little bit more foolproof and without the opportunity for meddling. The reveal that it was actually Lisa who boosted the dolls wasn't that unexpected, considering how much of a dark side she seems to have and how much anger she has towards her mother, but I think that it may have cemented her as Tessa's bestie for the foreseeable future.

Now that Tessa realizes she can't get away from the suburbs, no matter how many petty thefts she admits to, I think we'll start to see her ease into life with George. Not saying she'll all of a sudden join Dalia's Blonde Mafia or anything; Tessa has a couple of friends and enough asocial tendencies to where I think she'll do her best to lay low in school. That'll be hard, though, if George continues to hang out/pursue (?) Dallas, as our heroine will likely be looking to take her frustrations out somewhere and the population of her school may be the perfect target.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:

• "Frightened people rarely add bonus rooms."
• "I haven't felt this vulnerable since I test drove a smart car."
• "Lisa, you're a victim...in so many ways."
• "This crime spree started when certain people moved here from New York, New York, New...New York."
• "Dalia? Did I accidentally summon you?"
• "Oh, Dalia spit up the tiniest bit from her claustrophobia."
• "Right, Tessa?" "Right, Oprah."
• "Oh, hey, Sheila. What's the word from the Cabbage Patch?"
• "If you'll excuse me, I have a pile of freshly laundered doll clothes to fold. That's what my night looks like!"
• "Unreal. She even sleeps like a bitch."
• "Are you gonna fake a pregnancy? Kenzie faked a pregnancy last year to get out of Earth Science."
• George is watching a lot of Oprah these days. I always took him for an Ellen kind of guy.
• The pseudo pairing of Dallas and George may read a bit contrived, but the chemistry between Cheryl Hines and Jeremy Sisto is so good that I say bring it on.
• More cool sight gags: Sheila's "Missing" shirt, the Andy Warhol-ish painting of Mr. Wolfe in the cafeteria, and the shrink wrapped doll clothes. Also, Dalia's "blinking".
• Next week: It's Halloween in Suburgatory. Tessa wears a costume that freaks people out (naturally), George tries to scare the hell out of Dallas, and Jay Mohr guest stars.

Suburgatory 1.04 "Don't Call Me Shirley" Review

It was an ‘80s fest on Dancing with the Stars last night, complete with big hair, classic hits and The Bangles. The costumes were a mixture of 80s prom dresses and Billy Idol and Madonna’s best looks. If you didn’t mind the house band singers not doing justice to some of the classics, then overall it was a fun night. But not for Ricki Lake, who's bad '80s move cost her first place.

So how about all dances? Hope Solo horse galloped tango’d to "Living on a Prayer." Len panned it but Carrie Ann and Bruno liked it. Carson Kressley was so fun as usual, jiving to "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go", but the judges commented he still lacked technique. Carson bottoms out with a 19. Nancy Grace’s rumba to "True", one of the greatest 80s ballads, was so good and Bruno thought it was one of her best performances. The crowd and judges went wild for JR Martinez's samba to "Conga." Bruno said ‘there was “so much fire down below like a volcano.' Enough said. Rob Kardashian’s rumba to "Hello" showed that he can be a leading man on the dance floor and Carrie Ann thought he was sexy as heck.

Chaz Bono’s samba to "Get Down On It" was 'the most dancing he’s done' said a very pleased Carrie Ann and Len thought it was a gallant effort. David Arquette’s tango to “Tainted Love” was a tango with a rebel yell said Bruno, but Carrie still thinks he lacks musicality. Ricki Lake’s foxtrot to "She’s An Easy Lover" didn’t go over as well as it could have. The foxtrot itself was fine, if only they stuck to it. But Bruno and Carrie Ann didn’t like the thrown in roger rabbit move, especially since she didn’t do it well (for the record the one she did in rehearsal was pretty good.) They fall to 3rd place.  Here’s how the couples stack up:

Week 5 Leaderboard

• JR Martinez & Karina Smirnoff 28
• Robert Kardashian & Cheryl Burke 25
• David Arquette & Kym Johnson  25
• Ricki Lake & Derek Hough 24
• Hope Solo & Maks Chmerkovskiy 24
• Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus 22
• Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer 21
• Carson Kressley & Lacey Schwimmer 19

So given the recent controversy of untimely eliminations of good dancers, how much will these scores really matter? As Carson said “it’s up to America.” I think the judges are reacting to the controversy, because they underscored 3 very popular contestants, Carson, Nancy and Chaz. And I say popular because while their techniques fall short of the others, they keep surviving each week. I think this is the judges way of trying to weed them out, thinking if the gap is too wide, the fans won’t be able to close it.  We’ll find out tonight if the bottom three of the leaderboard can hang on, and will another good dancer be sent home?

Dancing with the Stars Results Show airs tonight, Tuesday, October 18 at 9 p.m. (ET) on ABC.

Dancing with the Stars Week 5 Rankings: Ricki Lake Loses Top Spot!

Tonight Dancing with the Stars celebrates the music of the1980s as the stars and pros dance a variety of dances to a variety of classic hits.  Returning to their 80s groove will be The Bangles, who will perform 3 of their 80s decade hits, “Walk Like An Egyptian”, “Manic Monday” and “Eternal Flame.”  This sounds like 80s night redux, as in, I think they’ve appeared on DWTS before and sang the same songs. Nothing against The Bangles, but was nobody else from the 80s available?  Culture Club? Duran Duran?  Bananarama?

In more exciting news, the remaining couples each take on a new dance:

• Chaz Bono & Lacey Schwimmer: Samba
• JR. Martinez & Karina Smirnoff: Samba
• Rob Kardashian & Cheryl Burke: Rumba
• Nancy Grace & Tristan MacManus: Rumba
• David Arquette & Kym Johnson:  Tango
• Hope Solo & Maks Chmerkovskiy:  Tango
• Carson Kressley & Anna Trebunskaya:  Jive
• Ricki Lake & Derek Hough: Foxtrot

Due to the untimely eliminations of Chynna Phillips and Kristin Cavallari, there’s been an outcry about the “popular” vote meaning more than the dance skills.  Some, including Chynna herself, have branded DWTS solely a popularity contest in which good dance performances don’t seem to matter. And even if you screw up or suck, a big fan base will save you. Read Chynna’s recent interview and Maks’s latest TVGuide blog for their feelings of frustration on the matter.  If this is the case, and I do believe it is to a degree, does it really matter how the contestants dance tonight? Looking at the list of remaining couples, who has the smallest fan base, and is that how we can figure out who will be eliminated tomorrow? Leave your comments below.

Dancing with the Stars airs tonight Monday October 17 at 8 p.m. (ET) on ABC.

Tonight on Dancing with the Stars Week 5: It's '80s Night!