CBS renewed a whole slew of shows about two months ago, not leaving that much space on its 2012-2013 for new shows.  Despite that, the network did pick up a few new comedies and dramas.  Following the schedule announcements from NBC, Fox and ABC, CBS has now unveiled its down 2012-2013 primetime schedule.  There's not too many scheduling changes, although Two and a Half Men is being moved to Thursday nights, 2 Broke Girls is shifting timeslots on Monday nights and The Mentalist is moving to Sundays.

Held over for mid-season is veteran reality series Undercover Boss and new reality show The Job.  New drama Golden Boy and new comedy Friend Me will also join the schedule mid-season.

MONDAY
8:00 pm How I Met Your Mother
8:30 pm Partners (new series) (watch a preview)
9:00 pm Two Broke Girls
9:30 pm Mike & Molly
10:00 pm Hawaii Five-0

TUESDAY
8:00 pm NCIS
9:00 pm NCIS: LA
10:00 pm Vegas (new series) (watch a preview)

WEDNESDAY
8:00 pm Survivor
9:00 pm Criminal Minds
10:00 pm CSI

THURSDAY
8:00 pm The Big Bang Theory
8:30 pm Two and a Half Men
9:00 pm Person of Interest
10:00 pm Elementary (new series) (watch a preview)

FRIDAY
8:00 pm CSI: NY
9:00 pm Made in Jersey (new series) (watch a preview)
10:00 pm Blue Bloods

SATURDAY
8:00 pm Crimetime Saturday

SUNDAY
8:00 pm The Amazing Race
9:00 pm The Good Wife
10:00 pm The Mentalist

Cancelled shows from last season include: CSI: Miami, Rob, NYC 22, Unforgettable and A Gifted Man.

CBS Announces 2012-2013 Primetime Schedule

CBS

2 Broke Girls undergoes something of an experiment in its latest effort "And the Drug Money" from its first season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) taking part in a drug trial to raise enough money to hire Caroline's lawyer in a deposition for her father.  "And the Drug Money" makes some progress in correcting 2 Broke Girls on its low attention span, but still makes a few missteps.

Boy, we’ve reached that awkward time of year where (if you’re anything like me), good TV just winds further down and down, and we’re simply waiting for the network shows to run out the clock, coast by on the good Summer programming we know to be ahead, and end up right back where we started.  It’s too early for season finales, but  its not too late to wring some decent episodes out of the less plot intensive stories, and here 2 Broke Girls actually managed to surprise me for once.

2 Broke Girls will never be among my favorite shows, nor could it be, but in a way that makes it all the more endearing to respond to, as I have to travel a far greater distance in understanding not only my own reaction, but why others respond to the humor as they do.  Even with How I Met Your Mother as a lead-in, and enough star power to turn a few heads, 2 Broke Girls simply isn’t good television.  It’s crass even for 2012, it’s uncertain of its own voice, and inelegant in its humor.  In a way, it feels like a cupcake created from an unrefined talent, gobbed with candy and frosting to the point that while delicious, it becomes rather unwieldy in its use.  And to be honest, I never thought the show would last this long, or that I’d stick with it as I have, but , well, here we are.

I will say, that “And the Drug Money” felt like a wide margin to be one of the cleanest episodes of 2 Broke Girls to date, carrying a fairly linear story through 22 minutes rather than some of the violently meandering plots of weeks past, where entire stories resolve themselves before the second act break.  Caroline’s still-unseen father needs her to testify on his behalf, bringing Leo Hutchinson of the legal team down to the diner to retrieve her, only he needs $1100 in order for the girls to retain his services.  The girls undergo a weekend drug trial to raise the necessary funds, and then work together to deliver the deposition when side effects seize Caroline’s tongue.  Sounds simple enough, right?

I mean, narrative clarity aside, I did try to measure out precisely how often I actually smiled, or even drew breath on the humor presented therein.  I’d say there were a solid three.  But for the moment, I’m more intrigued at the notion that 2 Broke Girls could tell a reasonable story rather than have me rolling in the aisles…of my apartment.  If anything, I’ll be most interested in the show’s return for a second season, to see if it might iron out any of the kinks from the supporting characters or unnecessary crudity.

By this point, Caroline’s yet-to-be-cast father still remains something of a non-entity, merely a plot device through which we give Caroline different emotions to play week to week, but the drug testing and deposition sequence did bring out some nice colors to Beth Behrs’ portrayal.  It’s all a bit moot without having an actual presence to color in the relationship, but effective use of a weak tool isn’t something to be ignored.  It can be hard to gauge where either Max or Caroline begin or end, from a series of programmed one-liners to actual people, but little moments like Caroline’s inability to sleep while remembering her father do wonders for escaping the show’s atmosphere of banality.

“And the Drug Money” probably best utilizes its recurring gags than many other episodes this season effectively calling back to the cold-open by having Max volunteer as Caroline’s “emotional companion,” calling on her Law & Order obsession to at least buy enough time for Caroline’s lawyer to grow a heart, and grant them an additional hour.

So…yeah.   That’s about it.  Like it or not, this show is here to stay, and I’m glad to see it show a few tweaks of improvement now and again.  Like the girls’ fund, every little bit helps.

And Another Thing…

• Rare, to see the girls doting on Han for speaking Korean, rather than jumping to any racist jokes.

• I just had to see if Josh Pais had in fact been on Law & Order.  Why shouldn’t I have?

• With Max pretending to be courtroom savvy, I couldn’t help being reminded of a show that made the joke better first, Charlie’s lawyering on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

• “Pissy Spacek.”  Not classy, but I like it.

• And unfortunately, it's impossible to watch Jordan Black and see anyone other than Community's Dean Spreck.

What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.20 "And the Drug Money" Review - P for Progress

2 Broke Girls looks to get clear of a few things in its latest effort "And the Spring Break" from its first season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) apartment-sitting for a wealthy couple, while looking for a new boon to their business.  "And the Spring Break" makes some noble effort to confront 2 Broke Girls on its laziness, but for a vacation episode certainly doesn't get very far.

I’m beginning to notice an odd sort of phenomenon that takes place whenever I watch 2 Broke Girls, and I can’t quite put my finger on its source.  Aside from the obvious interpretation that my interest wanes and I fail to invest in the story, I find myself repeatedly snapping into awareness over the course of the half hour, as if I seem to have lost awareness of how points A and B progressed to C within the context of a single episode.  More with 2 Broke Girls than any other series, I feel like “things happen,” and then its over.  And I don’t mean that to be as literal as it sounds, or criticize a smart writer’s ability to tell a story, but increasingly so I wind up more disoriented by this show than most.

Tonight, we went from the usual crudity of the diner’s staff’s interaction, to a point where we saw Max and Caroline living out certain Spring Break fantasies in the gay couple’s apartment, to pretending to be posh socialites at a party, back to the apartment with boys in tow, briefly told Caroline met a Greek man to take them on a real vacation, before ending up back in the diner again.  And in spite of that relatively cyclical progression, I found no foothold for any point “And the Spring Break” was trying to make.  Was it Max’s judgement of stereotypes that needed to be explored, Caroline’s longing to experience another real vacation, either of the two men encountered in the process, or a potential upswing for the business that needed to be explored?  I give the writers of 2 Broke Girls some credit in their willingness to juggle such a variety of ideas, but there’s a tremendous difference between juggling, and throwing balls into the air all at once to see which ones you catch.

To that end, there’s also an odd sort of meta-awareness being presented through “And the Spring Break" that I couldn’t quite grasp either.  It’s no secret that the show has come under an inordinate amount of fire for its broad, crude, even lazily offensive humor, to the point where even in promotional interviews critics often beset the series with accusations.  “And the Spring Break” was written recently enough to be aware of said criticisms, though not quite in time to be aware of its own renewal for a second season, but it still interested me to see Caroline draw attention to Max, and by association the show’s uncomfortable reliance on stereotypes.

It wasn’t quite to point out anything profound about the flaws and criticisms of 2 Broke Girls, and I find myself at something of a loss to justify its inclusion within the narrative.  On the one hand, I’d think it beneficial for the series to maintain a certain amount of self-awareness about its lazier jokes, but why bother calling attention to them if you’re only going to supply more, rather than deliver any kind of meaningful comedy about it?  It seemed as if to say “we know you hate this, but f$%k you*, we can put laugh tracks wherever we like,” especially considering the point never really got past a few casual mentions toward the end.

(*) Because I would have taken any excused to include this in today’s piece, THIS video is now my all-time favorite summation of 2 Broke Girls, and may forever color how I write about it.

What I did like about “And the Spring Break” were some of the other meta statements, namely about getting the characters away from the diner itself, which seems to be a black hole of the show’s lazier, contrived humor.  And of course they ended up back in the end, but perhaps (we can hope) a little more confident in being able to tell stories less rooted in one-liners and stereotyping.  What works most is what’s always worked, telling jokes that don’t rely on uncomfortable stereotypes, or bad puns, allowing the characters to have fun rather than complain, and even bond a bit more by the end.

2 Broke Girls is miles away from being a decent follow-up to even weaker half hours of How I Met Your Mother, but amidst the banality I appreciate what little effort they put into smarter humor.

And Another Thing…

• Kat Dennings splashes batter on her chest, and you go with a “battered woman” joke?  Not where my mind went, and I don’t know who should feel worse about that.

• “I’ll stop when they stop.” Yeah, not a great attitude to have about making fun of stereotypes.

• Beth Behrs in a bikini.  Now that’s the kind of pandering I can passively enjoy.

• In closing, I present you with one last thought.  My final note written of tonight’s episode was “The anal gland was a joke.”  That is all.

What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.19 "And the Spring Break" Review - In Stereo

Part of the fun of The Amazing Race lies in the countries picked for the teams to visit. Either the race heads to a mostly unheard-of land and exposes an interesting country to millions or it goes to a familiar location and tries to find a fun area to explore within in.

In tonight's episode, it's the latter, as the teams head from Turin, Italy to Bavaria, Germany, still eight-deep after last week's non-elimination. Once in Germany, they must find a way to Neuschwanstein Castle, homage to Richard Wagner and inspiration for Disneyland's Sleeping Beauty Castle. However, Vanessa and Ralph fall into a little trouble, apparently taking a longer way to the castle than Vanessa would like. Their hostility toward one another is nothing new on The Amazing Race, but let's hope this is the stress talking and not a sign of their team collapsing.

In better spirits are Bopper and Mark, which makes sense since they were spared last week. Joined by Kerri and Stacy at a puzzle challenge, the two cut up and hit on the witch toiling over her cauldron nearby. Part of me wants to be annoyed at how lightly they're (seemingly) taking things, especially considering their near-elimination, but too many teams forget to have fun on The Amazing Race. It's kind of nice to see two people that are behind and still not at one another's throats. Yes, there's a million dollars in play, but is that worth possibly severing a good friendship?

Say what you want about 'em, but Bopper and Mark are running the race their way and you have to respect that.

Elsewhere on The Amazing Race tonight,

The Amazing Race airs tonight at 8:00 on CBS.

Do you think Vanessa and Ralph can get it together? What teams could have trouble on the gingerbread challenge? Can Art and J.J. keep up their winning streak?

The Amazing Race Sneak Peeks: Uglier Than a Mud Rail Fence

2 Broke Girls looks to bang out a cheap one in its latest effort "And the One-Night Stands" from its first season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) dealing with old flames coming back to haunt them during the celebrations of Caroline's birthday, and a trip to Caroline's father in prison.  "And the One-Night Stands" doesn't gain a great deal of ground for 2 Broke Girls but certainly affords a few laughs around its jumbled narrative.

I didn’t’ cover last week’s 2 Broke Girls “And the Kosher Cupcakes,” not merely out of sheer moral outrage, but toward the growing feeling I’ve had of the show at large; it’s not written for me, it’s certainly not going to change the expectations of someone not generally prone to three-camera sitcoms, and its certainly too early to give it such harsh criticism.  Even at 18 episodes deep into its first season, I’m not sure what we can expect of 2 Broke Girls before its had some time to reevaluate its characters, and look at the narrative strategy going forward.  For that reason, my coverage of 2 Broke Girls might be somewhat intermittent from here on out.

Last night however, I did find a few worthy ideas that I wanted to talk about, even if “And the One-Night Stands” felt like a mishmash of ideas jammed into 22 minutes.  Watching any TV with investment causes a little bit of time distortion in that you’ll forget exactly how long you’ve been watching.  To that end, I felt enough had been posed and resolved by the notion of Max and the diner patrons celebrating Caroline’s birthday and Caroline having her one night stand with her site’s webmaster, that I lost all sense of narrative flow when they made the abrupt decision to visit Caroline’s father in prison, for all the time that took.

That’s a problem with 2 Broke Girls that belongs just as much to the writers as to myself, in that it feels very much like two episodes jammed together into one, unable to reconcile the different threads within each.  They’re linked by the common thread of one-night stands coming back to haunt both Max and Caroline, but Caroline’s learning to reclaim some of her own happiness in her birthday and affair with the webmaster feels somewhat emotionally distinct from her issues seeing her father.

That isn’t to say that there aren’t a few laughs along the way, as overlooking some of the cheaper gags regarding forced sexual banter give way to more ensemble-based laughs, as the staff of the diner continually one-up another in the reveals of strip clubs and forbidden trysts between unlikely parties, an amusing escalation of frivolity.  So too are there a few good laughs to be found in the sequences to and from the prison, with the caricatured “Bang Bus” patrons and Max’s former one-night stand appearing as an inmate with her face tattooed on his abs.  I called early on that his overreaction to Max’s shunning would prevent Caroline’s father from actually appearing, but I suspect that has to do with CBS holding out for a higher-profile actor to take the role.

I even enjoyed a little bit of the sweetness transmuted from Max’s childhood memories of birthdays comprised of Fudgie the Whale, as the good memories add far more to the character than caricatured portrayals of her mother’s horribleness.  “And the One-Night Stands” is far from the saving grace of 2 Broke Girls, but felt like it had enough solid material to justify a few more looks at the series going forward.  If anything, I’d be most interested to check back in on 2 Broke Girls in its second season, to see how it’s resolved the unending complaints about the first.

And Another Thing…

• Clearly the Oleg/Sophie pairing had to happen sooner or later, though I’m surprise in the amount of progression it took this week.
• Though I roll my eyes at most of 2 Broke Girls’ dirtier jokes, occasionally they’re clever enough to elicit a “Turtle Face.”

GAZE INTO IT!

What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.18 "And the One-Night Stands" Review

2 Broke Girls takes aim with golden arrows in its latest effort "And the Broken Hearts" from its first season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) rushing Earl (Garrett Morris) to the hospital after a heart attack just before Valentine's Day, while Caroline attempts to re-kindle an old flame.  "And the Broken Hearts" continues the trend of 2 Broke Girls lacking purpose, and while ambitious ultimately fails to generate any real laughs within its situation.

Boy, it’s tough having How I Met Your Mother as a lead-in to 2 Broke Girls.  I’m generally not a fan of any three-camera sitcoms, but How I Met Your Mother has some very strong half-hours now and again, and I thought tonight’s “The Drunk Train” was a good example of that.  I even wanted to like tonight’s 2 Broke Girls, given its billing as one of the episodes to take the girls out of the diner, and potentially inject some actual drama into Earl, one of the least grotesque and most likeable characters having a heart attack that puts him in the hospital.  Even then, sometimes it's just nice to have a Valentine’s Day episode that doesn’t harp so terribly on romance, especially since neither of the girls has been developed with a current romantic lead.

And the truth is, by the end of “And the Broken Hearts” there were a few sweet moments that glimmered within the series’ struggle to find its identity.  I like the relationship between Max and Earl, and fleshing out the idea that she sees him as something of a fatherly figure in her own’s absence, and I like how that strengthens Max and Caroline’s bond through Caroline’s assurance that her real father is the one missing out on their relationship.  However saccharine, I even like the idea that Caroline’s unseen father would send roses to show Max he sees her as a surrogate daughter as well, given all she’s done to take in Caroline.

That’s the good news.

The worst part about 2 Broke Girls is actually getting there, by means of wading through twenty minutes of useless obstacles, stunted and re-hashed ideas, or crude attempts at humor like riffing on the innuendo of “come” seven (seriously, seven) times in one exchange.  Even my curiosity at how 2 Broke Girls might handle a more serious note like Earl’s heart attack falls by the wayside, treated as nothing more than a minor inconvenience brought on by Jennifer Coolidge’s “beauty,” and just as summarily dismissed once they bring Earl to the hospital.  No one’s asking for an after-school special, or for the diner staff to suddenly shake loose their ridiculous accents, but there needs to be more to an A-plot than shoving characters into a new location for the same old antics.

It’s exactly why episodes like “And the Broken Hearts” alleviate my sympathy for the vicious critical attack 2 Broke Girls came under during the TCA press tour, because even the leads are written with the most predictable reactions.  Caroline will find herself in an unfamiliar scenario, and Max will either attempt to top her story, turn it into an innuendo, or reach her boiling point and deliver an impassioned rant to someone looking down on them.  I’m also expecting that Caroline’s doctor friend will return at some point professing an interest in Max rather than Caroline, yet another test for their endlessly stretched and re-formed relationship.

As far as I know, 2 Broke Girls is still a big performer for CBS, and not going away any time soon, but if ever there was an impassioned plea to craft some actual stories, and actual characters…this is not it.  Perhaps I should speak to people who actually like the show, because I’m trying my hardest to focus on the bright spots, and they’re not making it easy.  Who’d have thought I’d have my heart broken on Valentine’s Day?

And Another Thing…

• With regard to Max and Caroline exchanging candy hearts, I was shocked to stumble upon a few modern candy hearts this weekend with messages like “HOLLA” and “DRAMA QUEEN,” and then I died a little inside.

• I’ll buy for a moment that a dopey hospital administrator would accept Earl as Morgan Freeman, but later he seems to have Earl’s personal information on record, but still believes him to Morgan Freeman?

• Something of a sweet moment for Oleg in his bringing chocolates for Sophie, so I hope that at least goes somewhere fun.

• For no reason at all, Jennifer Coolidge ends her scenes tonight by making a joke about Puerto Ricans and lotto scratchers.  Just…why?

What did YOU Think?

2 Broke Girls 1.16 "And the Broken Hearts" Review

2 Broke Girls cleans up with its latest "And the blind spot" from its first season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) attempting to join the cleaning service of their  new upstairs neighbor Sophie (Jennifer Coolidge), while re-evaluating their friendship.  "And the Blind Spot" is more of the same of what we've come to expect from 2 Broke Girls, which doesn't bode well for upcoming episodes.

Ugh.  UGH.  I want to like 2 Broke Girls, I really do, and I’m of the belief that no one should write about things they intrinsically abhor, though I always like to challenge things to be better rather than dismiss them entirely.  I’ve never liked the three-camera sitcom as long as I’ve given critical thought to them* and given CBS’ status as the most watched network in America I’d be hard-pressed to dismiss their regularly dominating entertainment, but that doesn’t mean I can always stay silent about it.

(*) I do love early season Friends and Seinfeld of course, but these were of a youthful sitcom golden age where there wasn’t such a breadth of unique storytelling in the hour-long and single-camera sitcom genres, at least in my pantheon.

I’m not a tremendous fan of How I Met Your Mother either, but at least time-jumping and multi-layered efforts like tonight’s “The Burning Beekeeper” remind me that good directors and writers can do quite a bit with dated formats, even if people have mixed reactions to the result.  Thankfully, I’ve never even attempted to watch a single episode of Two and a Half Men, and thus consider myself ignorant of the depths of the barrel CBS scrapes for sitcom comedy, but 2 Broke Girls runs a sizable risk now and again.

We haven’t seen any fresh 2 Broke Girls since mid-January, and even that was on the heels of the rather fervent tongue-lashing the show received at the TCA press tour, which made it rather difficult to honestly evaluate the appearance of Jennifer Coolidge in her multi-episode arc as the girls’ upstairs neighbor and head of a cleaning woman ring that could afford them additional work.  Participating in multiple episodes, Coolidge's arrival was met with mixed reception, though we only really saw a few short minutes of what Jennifer Coolidge might bring to the troubled series, all things considered.  The horribly-accented Polish character felt all-too-in keeping with the show’s regrettably racist humor, but still afforded some room toward what direction upcoming episodes might take.

Well, we’re now into the second episode focusing on Sophie’s presence in the girls’ lives, and things haven’t gotten any better.  The heart of 2 Broke Girls (yes, in its 14 episodes) lies in the strong bond forged between Max and Caroline’s polar opposites, and the dream they share of reaching notoriety through their fledgling business idea, in particular the chemistry between Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs.  And while a million shippers’ heads regularly explode at the mere thought of lesbian subtext between Max and Caroline, I have a rather hard time believing in the notion that a relatively new character like Sophie should have any impact on Max’s view of the dynamic between the two.  Sophie seems keen on insisting that Caroline represents a “rock” to Max’s “balloon” based solely on the former’s cleaning skills, but what we’ve seen of Caroline thus far belies any indication that the former rich-girl should be seen as incompetent or lacking value.

In fact, Caroline seems to receive the brunt of the mis-characterization tonight, being portrayed as alternately clumsy, undereducated and bigoted tonight, odd considering what strides 2 Broke Girls has taken with regard to shying her character away from the ditzy blonde stereotype.  I’d be wary of looking for value in any show that portrays French-kissing corpses and racist metaphors within the same breath, but oddly enough I expect better from 2 Broke Girls than this nonsense.

And Another Thing…

• We knew that the Oleg / Sophie pairing would arrive, but I appreciate the dynamic created in that she manages to tame his racist/sexist caricature somewhat.

• Several instances tonight of the writers wasting time on Sophie pointing out Max’s dirty humor reminded me of how Family Guy ruined the trope with Fouad.

• A, why do the girls need that much money for a decent looking website, considering how cheaply people accomplish that these days?  And B, why wouldn’t a smart girl like Max think an upstart business absolutely needs a website to get off the ground?

• I understand Caroline’s heels as somewhat intrinsic to the character’s image, but why would anyone, Max or Caroline dress so well for cleaning gigs?  The hired help I’ve seen changes into sweats upon their arrival.

• To be fair, I’ve never thought to shut off a toilet valve in case of overflow.

• Not only was I offended at Caroline’s ill-reacted to having an overweight client with modeling pictures of himself, but can you imagine flipping the gender roles in hers, Max, and Sophie’s reactions to the unconscious Abercrombie model?  What a horribly sexist and uncomfortable double-standard.

• I don’t care what tricks you’ve learned over the years.  If someone appears to have overdosed, YOU CALL 9-1-1 AND DON’T ATTEMPT REVIVAL YOURSELF.

Ugh.  What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.15 "And the Blind Spot" Review

Following in the footsteps of Jeff & Jordan and Ethan & Jenna, Big Brother alumni Brendon & Rachel are making the leap from one CBS reality show to another. The volatile couple has signed on to appear on The Amazing Race for its upcoming 20th season. It'll have been less than a year since they appeared on Big Brother 13, where Rachel took home the top prize of $500,000, and two years since the couple met on Big Brother 12.

In non-reality couple news on the upcoming season of The Amazing Race, there are the requisite dynamics (twins, married couples, best friends), but you can also find a pair of federal agents, clowns, and professional athletes. There's even a basketball wife thrown in, but she's not a veteran of the VH1 series of the same name. Though the cast includes a variety of careers, the age range is a little smaller than usual (the oldest contestant is 45), which leads me to believe there will be a greater focus on physical challenges this time around. Considering the confirmation of five continents and 22 cities to be visited, more than season 19's total of 4 and 20, there may even be a little more travel gluttony to go along with the physicality.

Last season, engaged couple Ernie & Cindy (pictured above) outlasted dating couple Jeremy & Sandy and married couple Marcus & Amani to take home the top prize.

The Amazing Race 20 will premiere Sunday, February 19th at 8:00 on CBS. Check out the video below to familiarize yourself with the cast ahead of the premiere.

Do you have an early favorite already? How do you think the last few seasons of the show have been? Are you looking forward to taking another journey around the world (while sitting on your couch)?

The Amazing Race 20: Meet the Teams

2 Broke Girls strikes up with its latest "And the Upstairs Neighbor" from its freshman season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) growing suspicious of their new upstairs neighbor Sophie (Jennifer Coolidge), while re-evaluating their business sense.  "And the Upstairs Neighbor" could spark a faint glimmer of optimism for the troubled series, depending on what you're willing to see.

I regret that for one reason or another, I found myself unable to attend the TCA press tour this year, and thus missed out on the very public shaming most critics offered the stars and creative minds of 2 Broke Girls for its unabashedly lewd and even racist humor.

I don’t find 2 Broke Girls to be all that much more crass than some of the other sitcom schlock I’ve seen around town these days, nor do I believe there was anything to be accomplished by confronting creator Michael Patrick King so harshly, but I imagine the panel made for a rather cathartic experience to most critics.

“And the Upstairs Neighbor” almost seems like a response to some of 2 Broke Girls biggest critiques, moreso in concept than execution, but at least some effort is made to highlight new characters and avenues through which the girls can continue exploring their dream of starting a bakery.  Tonight’s episode marks the arrival of Jennifer Coolidge (American Pie)’s recurring Polish upstairs neighbor Sophie, who despite the initial friction ends up suggesting more than a few ways the girls could advance beyond their current situation.  There the introduction of a higher class restaurant the girls could leave the diner for, extra cash picked up by joining Sophie’s stable of cleaning women, or even the simpler idea that like Sophie herself, Max and Caroline might find little ways of bringing their dreams into the present.

Of course that all makes for fine wishful thinking, if Sophie herself weren’t in complete keeping with 2 Broke Girls racist caricatures, or a one-note joke about maids being mistaken for prostitutes that Seinfeld and a dozen better sitcoms covered years ago.  Granted I’ve never conclusively heard a Polish accent before, and initially believed the accent to be of Russian caricature, but suffice to say I doubt if anyone finds the character realistic enough to take seriously.

There’s nothing wrong with Jennifer Coolidge as an actress, in fact her exaggerated mannerisms and physique fit perfectly in with 2 Broke Girls’ vibe, but designing the character as another stereotype only hampers what contributions she has to the show’s dynamic.

If anything, we might be missing the point of “And the Upstairs Neighbor” by concentrating so strongly on what 2 Broke Girls does wrong.  Often times I find myself firmly entrenched in Max’s world view of pessimism, and the belief that most things only get worse over time.  It’s a dark world we live in, full of groan-worthy sitcoms that garner millions in ratings night after night, films that repeat endlessly on straight-to-DVD sequels, and yes, people that put nuts in brownies, but we owe it to ourselves to find the brighter corners of existence, however faint.

I will chuckle now and again at 2 Broke Girls ability to turn a phrase, or wreathe a wry smile at the unexpected depth of dirtier jokes, and we will always have the faint optimism that 2 Broke Girls can evolve beyond its more broad humor toward something akin to CBS’ more intelligent comedies.  The seeds have been sown for a stronger focus on Max and Caroline’s dreams, and the critics certainly had a chance to make their voices heard.

Sometimes, there’s nowhere to go but up(stairs).

And Another Thing…

• I’m astonished that “And The Upstairs Neighbor” found no occasion to pair Sophie with 2 Broke Girls' other Eastern European caricature Oleg, but perhaps they’re saving that one for down the line.

• 2 Broke Girls certainly gets some details of city living right, namely that I have no idea who any of my neighbors are.  And between car alarms and scurrying upstairs dogs, eventually you forget all about the illusion of silence.

• What was up with the bonehead product references this week, like Call or Duty or the (admittedly useless) 3D TV?

• Perhaps they gave the character heels, but I had no idea Jennifer Coolidge was that big of a woman.  Not overweight per se, but Amazonian compared with the girls.

• Also, Beth Behrs in short shorts?  I'm normally a Kat Dennings man, but...mmmhmm.

What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.14 "And the Upstairs Neighbor" Review

2 Broke Girls cooks up its latest "And the Secret Ingredient" from its freshman season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) losing themselves in extreme couponing during an attempt to visit their adopted horse Chestnut.  "And the Secret Ingredient" doesn't work any wonders for the troubled series, but might provide a chuckle or two depending on your pop culture awareness.

So apparently, extreme couponing is a thing.  Once again 2 Broke Girls seems to venture into parody territory for that which I’m unfamiliar, leaving me to question both my sanity and awareness of the outside world, but I digress.  I’m the kind of person who glosses over coupons, even sets aside seemingly valuable ones, only to promptly forget they ever existed, or at best, actively decide not to use them when talking to the cashier an extra second doesn’t seem worth 35 cents.  I’ve never seen anyone take to coupon use so strategically and obsessively, but apparently this is a well-documented subculture.

Looking back on my last few 2 Broke Girls reviews, this appeared to be something of a trend, parodying trashier elements of reality TV series and common shopping practices; both topics ripe with humor but escaping the demographic of my understanding and appreciation.  Before I go talking myself out of a job however, I recall a recent conversation with friends that justified looking for deeper humanity within such exaggerated parody, and that for all its flaws 2 Broke Girls still requires an honest evaluation.

To that end, 2 Broke Girls’ biggest strength lies in its ability to develop characters beyond their stereotype impressions, something “And the Secret Ingredient” scores with hits on both sides.  We want more to Kat Dennings’ Max than the snarker with a quip for every occasion, much as we want to see Beth Behrs’ Caroline as more than a rich airhead easily sucked into mania.  On rare occasions we see the deeper development to these personas, something “And the Secret Ingredient” manages to approach…before sharply veering into the bizarre.

For all her cynicism and sarcasm, we’re meant to root for Max and sympathize with the notion that her cool exterior comes from a deep history of neglect, something best revealed when the show draws parallels between her faithful visit to Chestnut against Caroline’s distraction with couponing.  That’s all very well and good, but “And the Secret Ingredient” manages to take away one of the fundamentally likeable traits about Max, her baking expertise.  By revealing  her cupcakes’ secret ingredient as nothing more than ordinary baking mix, Max loses credibility as the plucky protagonist of her own series.  It’d be the How I Met Your Mother equivalent of diagnosing Ted with marriage addiction.

By the same token, we’re treated to a brief flash of Caroline’s underlying distress in her reaction to being seen with coupons, and even briefly in the teaser with a descent toward Max’s bitter waitressing.  That might have made for an interesting story, before it devolved into exaggerated coupon mania and stock sitcom rivalry, uncharacteristically ignoring the horse she once loved, the last remnant of her past lifestyle.  “And the Secret Ingredient” even manages to alienate the stereotypical Han with his rather bizarre stubborn attempt to keep the diner’s tampon price at 75 cents.  All the tampon humor makes for a few uncomfortable laughs, but feels more like shock humor for shock humor’s sake rather than anything truly clever.

In the end, nothing about 2 Broke Girls’ reinvents the wheel, or accomplishes anything substantial toward improving the show’s weak base, and all the clever puns in the world aren’t going to change your mind about the series if you weren’t already a fan before we entered the year of the apocalypse.

We’ll leave that to Rob and Work It!

And Another Thing…

• Tampons might be a little extreme, but even I admit to carrying around matches in spite of an aversion to smoking, and by association girls who smoke.
• Perhaps something of a telling moment, but I did have to chuckle at the unspoken comedy of Max retracting her free tampon from the elderly diner patron.
• Just when you think the show can’t get more racist, it decides to exaggerate a Jamaican accent by 900%.  Somehow, this seems far less racist.
• I wanted to throw my remote when Caroline started consoling Max about her secret ingredient being her individuality.  NO.  Your secret ingredient is RIPPING OFF CONSUMER PRODUCTS.

What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.13 "And the Secret Ingredient" Review

If you don't know how we arrived at this season's finale episode, take a look at last week's recap.

The final episode of the season begins (after a season recap) on Redemption Island and Brandon's arrival.  He says it hurts that he was stabbed in the back by his friends but he stands by his convictions.  Ozzy doesn't have much sympathy for a blind faith game.  Human beings are greedy and want that money!  Back at Te Tuna, Sophie thinks Tribal Council was fantastic.  Brandon is gone, and Albert chickened out in front of the Jury by not giving back the Immunity Necklace.   Coach rips into Albert for lying to him, declaring he will not be made a fool.  Albert, for his part, knows he needs to get back in the good graces of his tribe.

The next morning, Ozzy and Brandon read Tree Mail implying they will need to "hang on" in the final Duel. Ozzy tells the camera that he is psyched for the Duel because he has loved RI so much.  They head into the Arena.  Probst reiterates that this is the final Duel.  For the Duel, the guys must hold onto a pole for as long as they can.  Survivors ready...go!  Probst notes that this is the most narrow foothold they've ever had for this challenge: only 1/4" wide.  Twenty minutes elapses, with Ozzy stretching out just on his toes.  After forty minutes, Ozzy readjusts and looks like he is going to lose it, but then Brandon starts to fall and has no footholds.  Both players are moving a lot up and down the pole.  Brandon starts to slide down, and then a bit more.  Finally, Brandon falls, and Ozzy stays alive!  Jeff notes that Brandon seems jubilant.  The latter says he actually won because seven days in, he had a heart to heart with God and was told to hold bitterness toward no one.  Brandon places his buff in the fire and departs. Ozzy thanks the others for sending him to RI so he would push himself to get back into the game.

The castaways return to their beach.  Coach tells Ozzy that if he thinks Ozzy is in jeopardy, and he wins Immunity, he will give his Immunity to Ozzy.  Ozzy isn't that dumb though.  "Why would anyone want to take me to the end?" Ozzy wonders to the camera.  Coach confesses that he wants to bring Ozzy to the end, but his alliances are so entrenched.  It is his game to lose because everyone else wants to take him to the end.  But will they after the...

...Immunity Challenge #1.  For the Challenge the players will steady a balancing board with one hand, and with the other, build a house of cards.  Survivors ready...go!  Sophie says she has a book on how to build houses of cards.  Ozzy, Coach and Sophie jump to the lead.  Sophie, unfortunately, runs out of pieces and must start again.  Coach's stack falls.  Ozzy plays his last piece, but it's too short.  Sophie gets close, but loses half her stack.  She then commands Albert to drop his pieces and pick up her lost ones.  He refuses, and when she pleads, Probst says it is an individual Challenge so he can't help her anyway.  Coach is getting close again, as is Ozzy.  Ozzy is one tile away, places it, and wins.  Ozzy wins Immunity!

Back at the beach, Ozzy recounts his victory, much to the chagrin of the others.  He feels great being able to finally shove it to the others.  Coach thinks its terrible that they have to vote someone out, but loyalties will be broken.  Coach and Albert suggest they send home Rick because he is the most likely to win (what?!?).  Ozzy, attempting to sow dissent, tells Albert they should get rid of Sophie.  Albert confides that Sophie maybe should go as she's won a couple Immunities and will be persuasive in front of the Jury.  Coach tells Rick that Sophie has turned on him, which gives Rick a really bad feeling.  He does get Coach to say he'll vote for Sophie, but Rick's not so sure Coach will follow through.

Albert tells Ozzy that they should go for Rick.  Ozzy responds by telling him that Coach swore as a Christian man to take Ozzy to the end.  Albert confronts Coach, but all Coach says is that he wants to vote out Ozzy.  Albert thinks he may have to listen to Ozzy at the...

...Tribal Council.  Ozzy, you knew you had to win, right?  Yup.  Probst calls out Coach's HII. Coach says he'll play it as it is the last chance to so do.  Albert says he should stay because he can beat Ozzy in an Immunity Challenge.  Sophie says she's won more Immunities than the others, so she can beat Ozzy.  Rick says to keep him because they will all beat him in the Final Three.  Coach says they are still a family so they should get rid of Ozzy when they can.  Ozzy calls him out as wanting to take him to the end.  Sophie doesn't care about honesty as Ozzy treated her like crap from the beginning by calling her a spoiled brat.  Why does she care when she speaks about him behind his back?  She says that it is personal because it was an attack on her character.  Sophie begins to cry, saying that she never did anything to attack other people and has kept her character in tact.  She regrets coming to the game because Ozzy said other people thought the same things about her.  Probst tells her that the way she is acting will make them want to get rid of her.  Does she want another opportunity to tell the guys why she should stay?  Nope, let's vote.

They vote, and Jeff collects the ballots.  Coach doesn't play the HII.  The votes come back Rick, Sophie, Rick, Sophie.  Jeff reads the final vote, "The sixteenth person voted out of Survivor: South Pacific...Rick!

But Wait...There's More on Page 2!!

Survivor: South Pacific 23.15 "Loyalties Will Be Broken" & Reunion Recap

The winner of Survivor: South Pacific was just announced.  Sophie took home this season's million dollar prize and the title of Sole Survivor.  In a vote of 6 to 3 to 0, Sophie defeated Coach and Albert in the Final Tribal Council to take home the win.  How did Sophie do it?  Be sure to catch my full recap in the morning detailing Coach's victory, the reunion special, and details on where Survivor will be going next season, premiering in February 2012.

The Winner of Survivor: South Pacific Is....

If you missed last week's episode, you know what to do (click here!).

This penultimate episode of this twenty-third season of Survivor opens on Night 32 with Te Tuna returning to camp.  The Final Five relish the fact that they have stayed true to each other since the first day.  Of course, Brandon wants to pray, and of course, Coach knows that the real game begins now.  Albert and Sophie contemplate who to vote out if Ozzy comes back.  They toss around Rick and Brandon's names, but then Albert confesses to the camera that although she doesn't know it, Sophie is the next to go.

The next morning, Day 33, Coach tells Sophie that his head was spinning all night.  Albert tells the camera that though he planned on going to the end with Coach and Sophie, the latter has been building too much of a resume.  Albert needs to adapt his game to the players around him, and this calls for taking Rick to the end.  He figures Rick is the least dangerous player left in the game.  Who is the most dangerous?  Likely the one playing in the...

...Duel.  For this Duel, Edna and Ozzy will complete a slide puzzle to release a hatchet to be used to cut through a rope.  Once cut, the rope will release a bag full of cubes that the players must stack so no color appears twice on a one side of the tower into which the blocks are stacked.  Survivors ready...go!  Ozzy quickly finishes the puzzle and releases his cubes.  As he starts the final puzzle, Albert begins coaching Edna on the puzzle until she releases her hatchet and gets her cubes.  Then all of Te Tuna tries to help Edna.  She builds arranges her cubes outside of the tower, then swiftly places them.  Does Edna have the solution?  No!  She has two reds on one side.  That gives Ozzy time to place his cubes and call over Probst to check his work.  Ozzy wins the Duel and stays alive!  Edna burns her buff and departs.  Ozzy heads back to Redemption Island and Te Tuna returns to their beach.

Though his tribe has spoken about it since the first day, Albert doesn't give one whit about honor or integrity.  Brandon thinks that Albert will never write his name down, but Albert is more than willing to cut Brandon, though he tells Brandon that they should vote out Sophie next.  Sophie points out to Coach that every player who goes to RI has Ozzy's comfort and final words ringing in their ears.  She suggests they send Brandon to RI to put the two strongest players against each other.  She then suggests that voting strategy to Rick, who agrees.

Albert goes to Coach to say that Sophie is the biggest threat.  Coach fundamentally disagrees; he is disheartened because he has had a solid alliance with Sophie.  Coach suggests that Albert is just scared of how much smarter she is than him.  Brandon asks what they are talking about, and when they truthfully answer "jury votes," Brandon says they are lying.  Coach tells him that he is bullying them, and acting like Russell.  Brandon is offended and asks for a hug.  Coach rips him some more in a confessional but then, indeed, gives him a hug.  Whom Coach will vote out will have to be determined by the results of the...

...Immunity Challenge.  For the Challenge, the castaways will climb a very steep wall and collect five bags of puzzle pieces.  The puzzle pieces must be paired up, leaving three pieces that don't match.  Those three that don't match have numbers that must be used to unlock a code and release a flag.  The first to release his or her flag will win Immunity and a Reward of a pizza party.  Survivors ready...go!

Brandon quickly has his first and second bags, as does Rick.  They get their third bags, as does Coach. Brandon and Rick go for their final bags.  Rick is the first down to his table, with Brandon close behind. Albert takes a big fall on his fourth bag, but eventually everyone works on the puzzle.  Brandon and Coach move ahead.  Brandon takes three numbers to the top of the wall, where he enters the code and releases his flag.  Brandon wins Immunity!  "Thank you Jesus!  Thank you Father!" he shouts.  Probst informs him he can share his pizza with only one other person.  Brandon says his dad told him to play with his heart, and so he picks Rick.  Rick exclaims for the first time all season.  Coach is at peace with Brandon avoiding elimination, but he is still pissed.

In a very Probst-Ian entrance, the pizza guy arrives on a wave runner.  Sophie says the worst case scenario has occurred: Brandon won Immunity.  She asks Coach who should go home, and they agree it's Albert.  When Sophie goes over to smell the pizza, Albert knows she is playing the game.  She immediately tells the guys that she's voting for Albert.  Rick says that Albert said the two of them are solid for the Final Three.  Brandon brings this up in front of everyone, and they all start yelling at each other. Albert is in some deep stuff.  Sophie revels in it all falling apart around Albert.

After, Albert knows he is in some major trouble, but if he can get Brandon back on his side, he should be OK.  Albert plays on Brandon's religiosity by saying that he feels Brandon's heart is closed to him.  Brandon tells the camera that he [Brandon] is a sinner as well, so he has to forgive Albert.  With that, he tells Albert that he will vote with him, and in fact, might give Albert his Immunity necklace.

Brandon goes to Coach and says that God speaks to him.  He hopes Coach will accept the fact that he might give his Immunity necklace to Albert because if they don't forgive Albert, how can they ask for forgiveness themselves?  Coach confesses that this has complicated everything because he doesn't know who to trust and with whom to align.  He tells Brandon that while that might be God's plan for Brandon, he needs to pray himself.  Coach does, and one name appears over and over again.  "My soul has never grieved as much as it is right now."  What will be Coach's decision at...

But Wait...There's More on Page 2!!

Survivor: Survivor South Pacific 23.14 "Then There Were Five" Recap

2 Broke Girls pops out its latest "And the Pop-Up Sale" from its freshman season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) looking to sell off some of Caroline's old jewelry in order to afford a new oven for their apartment.  "And the Pop-Up Sale" offers up an improvement from last week, even if it isn't going the extra mile just yet.

For 2 Broke Girls last effort “And the Reality Check,” I laid some harsh criticisms on the nature of the series and the audience it writes for as well, not counting myself among those who would relate to its particular brand of humor.  I don’t know that I’ll ever relate to the trials of 2 Broke Girls living in the big city, even as 1 broke boy, but nor would I expect the writers of the show to sit in their dimly lit rooms hunched over a computer, wringing their gloved hands in malice that I fail to appreciate the humorous relationship dynamics they’ve crafted.

Whereas last week the Reality TV and rich girl humor was lost on me, this week we find shopping humor* whizzing by my oversized head, particularly concepts I’ve never encountered.  For instance, do pop-up sales actually exist, where people might spontaneously (and illegally) set up shop to undercut the stores wherein they’re located?  Does the purchase and re-sale of jewelery really elicit such headaches?  I’m not asking for snark, I genuinely lack the understanding of human shopping culture that drives the plot of Caroline seeking to replace Max’s dilapidated oven.

(*) Jewelery might be lost on me, but I can certainly understand Max’s burning desire for a top-model oven and the allure of modern appliances at large.  You’d never know it in your youth, but one day you’ll suddenly discover that EVERYTHING at Bed, Bath and Beyond is completely awesome, and can be rationalized use for (nervously eyes George Foreman grill still sitting in its box one year later).

There are things that work about 2 Broke Girls, and things that don’t.  Obviously all critics are quick to level racism allegations at the series stemming from its inception, the way Oleg and Han provide such painfully exaggerated stereotypes of foreigners, but “And the Pop-Up Sale" actually accomplished something intriguing by pitting the two against one another to call attention to their respective personalities.

It gave the pair more to do than obliterate the soul of wit with tired pigeonholing, and for a moment seemed like an honest attempt to humanize the characters.  Then an elevator door opened, and a gaggle of gold-hungry Arabic stereotypes flooded the room.  Ugh.

The other pleasure I find in 2 Broke Girls lies in the character of Caroline herself, who continues to display strength beyond that of a stereotypical rich girl, even if I wished to see more of her inner anguish at the circumstance.  There exists powerful drama in seeing someone of privilege reduced to squalor, and so far 2 Broke Girls has largely shied away from delving into it.  We saw brief flashes of that anguish in Caroline’s efforts to dissociate herself from selling her rings in the bathroom, but don’t have much of a chance to press the issue beyond her brief (and sincere) apology to Max.

For the second episode in a row now Max finds herself confronted with the issue of attachment, and potentially saying goodbye, which the episode handles far better than “And the Reality Chick.”  Granted she was acting opposite a horse then, but I found the Kat Denning's performance of the reconciliation between Max and Caroline to be much more fulfilling this time around, and illustrative of the bond they’ve formed these last few episodes.  Caroline still has her past looming over, and Max has her abandonment issues, and I’d go as far to say that “And the Pop-Up Sale” provides a fitting summation / jumping off point until 2 Broke Girls returns from winter hiatus.

Perhaps then we can look forward to the re-introduction of some of the series’ larger threads, like Johnny (hopefully at a reserved pace this time), or the cupcake business, which still hasn’t seen either an influx or reduction of income to date.

And Another Thing…

• Is it me, or is the basic formula of 2 Broke Girl’s snappy joke to tack on a pop culture reference at the end of any normal statement?  I counted Fast and the Furious, Lord of the Rings,  A Beautiful Mind, Ratatouille…
• I marginally enjoyed the diner meeting scene, and the staff's pride in their horrible comment cards, but does the diner really run on only four employees?  Haven't we seen extras working around the set?
• “I am like David Blaine of zippers.”
• One could raise issue with the fact that the Oleg / Han conflict peters out without any real resolution, but really, what couldn’t Kat Dennings’ chest fix?
• I imagine the casting sheet for Caroline’s bitter Jewelery Store acquaintance read “Seeking actor who resembles  / acts like/ or is Stanley Tucci from The Devil Wears Prada.

What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.12 "And the Pop-Up Sale" Review

Going into the finale of The Amazing Race, I really wasn't sure who was going to pull out a win and take home the million dollars. In last week's episode, Andy and Tommy, who had dominated this season by winning six legs, were booted out after not understanding the final clue, so "Go Out and Get It Done" was going to come down to a middling team on a hot streak and two teams that had a tendency to fall behind in every leg due to stupid mistakes. Not the most glamorous of match ups, right?

But if there's one positive thing I can say about the finale of The Amazing Race 19, it's that the teams actually got to race unencumbered by maddening time equalizers and the right pair ended up winning as a result. Too often in recent seasons, it's felt like a lot of teams make it far on the show due to the tethering together of teams, but "Go Out and Get It Done" was allowed to breathe and that made for a better episode of television. One could argue that it made it worse, since it was fairly obvious that Ernie and Cindy were going to win by about the second commercial break, but I'd rather have the best team win fairly than have someone less deserving sneak up and "steal" first place thanks to one of the show's "twists". I had my doubts about Ernie and Cindy, as their extensive pre-race training didn't include How Not to Make Bad Errors, but they proved me wrong and then some with their strong finale performance. It helped that "Go Out and Get It Done" was heavy on the strategic challenges as opposed to the typical "physical first" motto of the show, but everything finally clicked into place at the most opportune time for Ernie and Cindy and they coasted to the finish line.

Granted, Marcus and Amani didn't get off the blocks from the first challenge until about 2/3 of the way through the episode and Jeremy and Sandy thought people used to live at the old Home Depot, but still, it was a nice win for Ernie and Cindy.

Even though the challenges were thankfully puzzle-heavy, something that had been lacking all season, they still weren't the best, especially for a finale. The flight simulator was by far the best because it felt like all teams were on (mostly) equal footing and it combined a little physical prowess with teamwork, nerve, and strategy while making for cool visuals. Of course, it wasn't the "sexiest" of challenges, as you could find something similar in most mid-level cities for a low price, but it was placed appropriately in the episode, required some semblance of skill, and provided enough separation to ultimately be pretty useful. The other two, a typewriter roadblock whose twist was stupid and a final memory task that wasn't in depth, exemplified one of the main reasons The Amazing Race has been such a disappointment this season. The challenges have oftentimes been either too easy or too reliant on gimmicky details, as the memory challenge was a major dumb-down from prior years and the roadblock felt more like a minor distraction than something finale-worthy. The show has shifted the focus from watching the wheels in the minds of its team turn until someone breaks through to traffic chess and cab driver aptitude, to the detriment of everyone, including viewers at home.

After trudging through four continents, 20 cities, nearly 40,000 miles, and one final shout out to Jesus, The Amazing Race came to a close with a pretty good winner and not much else. For all the accolades the show rakes in on a yearly basis, season 19 continued to display much of the same problems that have been plaguing the show for a while. While The Amazing Race never disappoints in terms of showcasing the beauty of the world, both visually and culturally, the show too often gets bogged down in manufacturing drama rather than simply letting the contestants be and freely race. Combine the fact that the show never seems to trust itself with poor challenges and casting teams I never took to and it's no wonder that season 19 was a slog to get through at times. I know it's seemed like I've been a little too hard on The Amazing Race in my weekly write-ups, but I've seen how truly great the show can be when it's clicking on all cylinders and unfortunately, it's only going half-speed at best these days.

Thoughts, Quotes, and Observations:
-"You see how I'm breathin'? That's how serious it is."
-"C'mon, baby. Get your pilot on."
-"This is not the Mac."
-"Holy bananas."
-Final Order: (1) Ernie/Cindy, (2) Jeremy/Sandy, (3) Amani/Marcus
-Number of football metaphors from Marcus: 7.
-Did anyone get what Ernie and Cindy's organization would actually do? Props to them for doing something smart with their money, but the explanation was a little vague.
-Sandy's line about needing to go on Prilosec when she gets home was funny.
-Apparently I need to get my hearing checked, because I could have sworn that Phil said "Marvin Mitchell" instead of "Margaret Mitchell".
-I know a lot of people on The Amazing Race message boards were annoyed by Cindy, but I found her kind of refreshing and relatable. Yes, she was a bit high-strung, but it's nice to see someone on this show that prepared so much for it beforehand. Plus, as a perfectionist that's a little too competitive, I understood a lot of what she was saying.
-If you've not enjoyed season 19, giggle/wince at Television Without Pity's Dumbest Moments gallery and light a single candle for the upcoming 20th season.

The Amazing Race 19.12 "Go Out and Get It Done" Review

If you missed the "everybody saw it coming, except for Cochran, who should have drawn rocks instead of flipping on Savaii" vote last week, catch up with my recap here.

The episode begins at Redemption Island on Night 30.  Cochran rues the fact that he may have been played by Upolu.  Ozzy says the way to get back at them is to vote for him (Ozzy) in the Final Tribal Council.  But what if Cochran can beat him in a Duel?  "He doesn't stand a chance," is Ozzy's quick rejoinder.

The next morning at Te Tuna, Rick toasts his socks.  Brandon wants to say a morning prayer, but Edna excuses herself as she's "not really part of the tribe."  She feels duped by her tribe, like she's a second class citizen.  She continues her rant to Coach, but she's interrupted by Brandon bringing back a Sprint phone (Blatant Product Placement!!) with videos from home.  Rick hears from his wife, Edna her sister, Sophie her dad, Albert his mom, Coach his brother, and Brandon his dad.  There is no time to cry, though Brandon would like to, because it is time for the...

...Duel.  Jeff first takes the Sprint Evo 3D (BPP!!) before announcing a twist...to be announced later.  For the Duel, the guys will use a grappling hook to grab bags of balls.  They then take one ball and negotiate it through a maze using an overhead pulley system.  Survivors ready...go!  Ozzy gets his first and second bags while Cochran receives tips from the onlookers.  Cochran scores his first bag as Ozzy gets his final one and starts the maze.  Cochran eventually retrieves all his bags.  Ozzy gets to the final ring of the maze, but his ball falls into the final hole and he has to start over.  Cochran moves very fast and is close to the end, but he too falls into the hole and must restart.  Cochran again maneuvers to the inner circle, where he is joined by Ozzy.  Ozzy stops in the inner ring, giving Cochran time to quickly force his ball into the final ring.  His ball, however, is unsteady, and falls into the final hole.  Ozzy gets his ball into the center hole.  Ozzy survives!  Cochran talks about how great it was to play the game: this was the most incredible moment of his life.  He's not the guy he thought going into the game, he's more.  Jeff says a new part of him was born out there, but his adventure has come to an end.

Ozzy stays alive, and as a result, he is going to make a decision that will effect the others.  With that, Jeff brings in the Loved Ones, and the highlights include Sophie placing a food order for the airport, and Rick grabbing his wife's ass!  Ozzy has to decide one person to spend time with his or her loved one, and he picks Albert.  Ozzy apologizes to the others, but gets to pick one more, and he picks Coach.  Then he can pick one more person, and Ozzy chooses Brandon.  Sophie, Edna and Rick head back to camp; everyone else goes back to Redemption Island.

Over on RI, the guys and their Loved Ones take pictures of themselves.  Coach tells Ozzy that he's going to be straight with him and has a perfect Final Three scenario: the two of them and a third player.  He gives his word as a "Christian man" he will take Ozzy to the end.  Coach confesses that that is an unbreakable vow.  Brandon tells his dad that he isn't there to win the million dollars or be sole survivor.  Here's there to set an example for Christ.  His dad is flabbergasted.  When he tries to suggest that Brandon make a move to win, Brandon completely shuts him down.  Dad confesses that he is shocked Brandon hasn't been voted out already.  He asks Coach what his intentions are with Brandon.  When Coach doesn't directly answer, Dad tells him to do whatever Coach tells him.  Coach tells the camera that he won't be bullied by the Hantz family.  Brandon is a ticking time bomb, and he won't be holding it when it goes off, likely after the next...

...Immunity Challenge.  The object of the Challenge is to keep moving across the pineapple puzzle board.  Once the player can't move anymore, the player is out.  The players begin their moves and it is clear early that Edna is getting squeezed out.  Coach makes a "Dragon Slayer move" (per Probst) as he's cut out a huge swath of the board for himself.  Albert goes out, as does Brandon.  Brandon tells Albert, and Jeff overhears, how Brandon was trying to box in Edna.  Edna takes offense to this and begins to cry that she's being targeted.  Rick goes out, as does Sophie.  Edna makes her last move.  Coach wins Immunity!  Edna pleads, "Help a sister out, Coach."  Brandon admits to the camera that he stuck his foot in his mouth, but he doesn't care because he'll be eating the Final Three feast on Day 39.

Sophie tells the camera that every day she is surprised by the actions of her tribe.  Brandon was a bully the way he treated Edna.  Rick confesses that Brandon acted like a jerk.  Brandon tries to apologize (he's just honest!), but Edna isn't hearing it.  Sophie says though apologies may get Brandon absolved in church, they won't on Survivor.

Edna pitches to Albert, Coach and Sophie that Brandon has had no honor, loyalty or integrity during the game.  Coach is listening, as she's put a great argument forward.  Edna asks if he will use his Hidden Immunity Idol for her, but he says no as he will be the next one to go if he does that.  Coach tells her to tell Albert and Sophie that "everything is cool" and see how they vote.  Albert says he is giving Edna's plan legitimate consideration, but he's worried about the numbers -- he won't vote out Brandon unless he is assured everyone is voting out Brandon.  She assures them that Coach is 100% voting for Brandon, but will he at...

...Tribal Council.  Jeff asks Edna if, based on Challenge, she is on the hot seat.  "Who do you target?" he asks her.  Brandon, she replies, as his actions and words have betrayed the Upolu mantra.  Brandon, what is it like to hear that?  It's OK because Edna is misconstruing things.  Jeff corrects him that Edna is actually telling the truth: he really did tell lies to Stacey and Christine about Mikayla.  He's never had a negative thing to say about Edna!, Brandon insists.  Albert says they need to decide whether early promises will decide how the game plays out.

It's time to vote.  They do, and Jeff collects the ballots.  Edna and Brandon alternate the first two votes. The third vote is for Edna, as is the fourth.  Jeff reads the fifth ballot, "The fourteenth person voted out of Survivor: South Pacific...Edna!"  She hugs Coach, has her torch snuffed and heads off into the Blue Light of Death.  Jeff says that from the beginning they said it would be the five of them at the end.  "Now what?" he asks, before sending them back to camp.

But Wait...There's More on Page 2!!

Survivor: South Pacific 23.13 "Ticking Time Bomb" Recap

2 Broke Girls checks out its latest "And the Reality Check" from its freshman season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) turning to Max's employer Peaches to find a home for their horse Chestnut amidst The Real Housewives of Tribeca.  It's a difficult-to-access plot for certain, one that might leave even casual viewers re-evaluating their view on the series.

I asked myself why I watch 2 Broke Girls during the view of “And the Reality Check” tonight (other than the fat stacks of cash and corporate jet on retainer of course), feeling like there isn’t anything for me to enjoy.  Perhaps holed up in my ivory tower of a New York City apartment for some decades now, I’ve grown out of touch with the fads pop culture likes to parody.  I’ve not watched a single episode of any reality…housewives TV series or what-have-you, rendering me unable to appreciate the references therein, be they disabled animals on parade, or unrepentant fathers backing toddler beauty pageants.

I also find myself separated by the majority of hipster culture by at least a mile or so of water, but I swear I’ve heard the “homeless or hipster” joke done to death before, not that I’d expect a renaissance of original humor from 2 Broke Girls.  By the end of “And the Reality Check,” I simply wondered, “for whom is 2 Broke Girls written?”  Are there sects of sitcom-watchers intent on a good hipster bash?  Young women in run-down housing in regular disparity with the culture of the rich?  It’s not that there couldn’t be an audience for such a mishmash of farcical New York parody, I simply have trouble finding a foothold for my own tastes.

The core of any good story lies in relatable circumstance, arguments and actions we connect with enough to find ourselves entranced in the parable from a third-person perspective.  Some nights 2 Broke Girls can accomplish that, but the girls working to find a home for their horse Chestnut amidst a culture of snobbery and Reality TV wannabes doesn’t exactly land within the realm of the relatable.  They’ve got the logic vote to be sure, addressing why two young women of limited means couldn’t keep a horse in Brooklyn, but little else going for them.

Closer to mining truth and drama are Max’s reluctant admittance of attachment to her four-legged companion, and even Caroline’s brick-wall realization that things like snow prove less magical and more problematic with poverty, but this feels like territory the show has mined before, particularly with the previous episode “And the Very Christmas Thanksgiving.”  It also doesn’t help that Kat Dennings didn’t exactly produce a believable “crying face” (for lack of a more eloquent description) in her teary goodbye to Chestnut, but let’s face it, crying rarely looks natural on a cynic.

I couldn’t help wondering if there were details to the series that I might have missed in earlier episodes, namely that Max seems to stumble, and choke on revealing to her employer Peaches that she shares her apartment with Caroline Channing.  What’s become of the Channing name, in all the time 2 Broke Girls hasn’t explored its own premise?  We see brief glimmers of the socialite persona that Caroline crafts for her public image, but to date there’s been precious little movement on the character’s actual journey, particularly in episodes like tonight where the even the cupcake business falls to the wayside.

You know you’re stalled for storytelling when your own internal device in counting how far the 2 Broke Girls move closer and further from their dream shows no movement.

But then again, like Max, we’ll always have cats on the internet to bring the LULZ.  At least those we can’t even create the illusion of having to think about.

And Another Thing…

• Continuing with how out of touch I am, can someone explain to me what Instagram is all about?
• Yes, Tony Montana had much cocaine in Scarface.  This is humor?  You’re literally just describing a thing  that happened.
• You will NOT call yourself a New York-based show if you use exteriors of the Upper East Side for a woman auditioning for Real Housewives of TRIBECA.  BAD CBS.
• On the flip side, I will give a polite golf-clap on account of the truth behind New York women carrying high heels in their purse.
• I’m a little impressed with how casually they reference drug use on the show, when How I Met Your Mother goes to such clever length to hide it.

What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.11 "And the Reality Check" Review

Since the dawn of time (or, well, season 1), The Amazing Race has always let luck creep into the equation, sometimes to its detriment. To be able to prance on the lawns of America with Phil Keoghan at the end of an around the world journey, one typically has to have some mixture of tenacity, intelligence, and versatility, with a healthy sprinkle of luck for good measure. While earlier seasons emphasized the first three pretty heavily, allowing the last to assume its necessary and natural role when need be, recent seasons have seen the importance of cab drivers eclipse the importance of just about anything. Who you get to drive you around a gorgeous foreign city can sometimes be the deciding factor in a leg, something that has stretched into finals and cost teams hundreds of thousands of dollars.

It may not have been a final, but luck was a major player in "We Are Charlie Chaplin", the penultimate episode of The Amazing Race's 19th season. After accumulating a couple of cars, a ton of cash, and numerous vacation packages from Travelocity, snowboarders Andy and Tommy crashed hard on the leg before the finals, bowing out in fourth place. Before tonight, the two had won six legs despite a race with noticeable errors; several of those winning legs were the result of other teams with penalties, teams making mistakes and having to go back, and legs almost specifically designed for them, an incredible string that came to an end tonight. What ended the run of Team Jesus, pray tell? The fact that their cab driver wasn't besties with the other three cab drivers, as the other three continually shared information with one another while the teams were in Panama. Andy/Tommy had a big enough lead where they very rarely interacted with the other teams, which cost them when they mishandled the clue on where to find the pit stop.

Andy and Tommy's elimination brings out both good and bad aspects of The Amazing Race, as it livens up a dull season with arguably the first surprising elimination we've had and demonstrates how the show is too dependent on luck. (In this case, luck of the draw regarding cab drivers.) Admittedly, part of me thinks that it's luck/karma catching up with them, especially after the decidedly unchristian and outright nasty way they talked to Sandy on the heights roadblock, but as happy as I was to see the two eliminated, it still felt a little cheap to me. Granted, it's not outside the realm of possibility on a season of The Amazing Race like season 19 has been, but it's yet another case of the show allowing luck to become the deciding factor over skill. Andy and Tommy both made their fair share of mistakes during their time on the race, including tonight's misread of the Adventures of Tintin clue, but if they had to go out, it would have been more fair/gratifying to go out because of factors other than cabbie collusion.

Last season, I made mention of the fact that I hated when the contestants allianced up in order to bump off the Cowboys and having the three cabbies join forces isn't much better. I mean, there's less obvious conspiring in this case, but it doesn't take away from how tonight's elimination felt manipulated to death. A cab driver should contribute to the leg but not be the deciding factor as to whether a team gets eliminated; the show gets way too involved with itself regarding manipulating the teams, so it's strange that they're allowing something so vital to play such a big part in who wins this thing.

(Tin Hat Theory: The Amazing Race totally knew the three cabbies would share information and they did it to generate buzz for the finale in a "let's bump off the frontrunner" kind of way. Discuss.)

The Amazing Race 19.11 "We Are Charlie Chaplin" Review

You are not hallucinating: we are now on Episode 12 of this season's Survivor, and my last recap was for Episode 10.  That is because Episode 11 was the annual Thanksgiving Eve recap episode.  With relatives in town for the holiday, I didn't find time to recap a recap, but if you'd like to know if you missed anything important (you didn't, well........except for RICK SPEAKING!), take a quick perusal of Entertainment Weekly's recap provided by the illustrious Dalton Ross.  I'll wait.............................................................................

Done?  Good.

This week's episode begins on Night 27 at Te Tuna.  Coach celebrates the elimination of Savaii.  Edna confesses that she is paranoid about being at the bottom of her tribe.  Cochran is also worried because it was said at Tribal Council that he is the next to go -- he knows the "family" could turn on him at any moment.

The next morning, Cochran talks about how he used to prank call girls in the fifth grade.  Sophie believes that Cochran's personality used to be a benefit to him, but now she is just annoyed by him, as is evident by her furious wood chopping.  Cochran notes that the "family" that is Coach's alliance is reminiscent of the Manson Family, Brandon in particular.  Cochran needs a plan, or he might end up drinking the poisoned Kool-Aid.  So, he calls a tribe meeting to make his case that he should be saved at the next Tribal Council in thanks for the move he made for their benefit. Sophie ain't having it.  Coach and Albert want to make it a group decision, but they are in favor of keeping Cochran; they only need one more vote to keep him.  Cocah contemplates who that other vote might on his way to...

...Redemption Island Arena.  Jeff welcomes in Ozzy, Dawn and Whitney.  For the Duel, the castaways must balance an increasing number of dishes, emulating the final Challenge from Survivor: China.  The last one with dishes standing remains in the game.  The losers become the third and fourth members of the Jury.  They begin with a large plate, then a large bowl.  Dawn loses her concentration for a moment and almost loses the whole stack.  At nine dishes high, Jeff tells them to add a small plate.  Ozzy starts wobbling a bit, but recovers.  The players then add a large bowl.  Dawn loses her balance and goes down.  Next Jeff orders a large plate, then a small bowl.  Whitney wobbles and the goes down.  Ozzy stays alive! Dawn, Jeff asks, what's lesson did you learn about what you're capable in life?  She responds that anything is possible.  Whitney's response is that her family and friends will be proud of her.  With the women dismissed, Jeff sends Ozzy back to RI, and Te Tuna back to their beach.

With Ozzy up a tree, we return from commercial to RI.  Ozzy then goes fishing and brags about his skills at survival.  He is home on RI.  Back at Te Tuna, Albert is focused on strategy, while Edna cleans up the camp.  Cochran goes fishing with Brandon, and though he didn't physically catch the fish, he will be physically carry it back to camp so he can win the accolades from the tribe.

Meanwhile, Albert accidentally puts out the fire when trying to pull out the laundry.  Coach and Edna voice their frustration that Albert hasn't worked one day during the game; he just lies around and eats.  Rick speaks!  He goes on and on (and for Rick, that means two sentences) about how there is a reason they call him "Prince Albert."  Edna asks Coach about how she can stay safe.  She suggests that Cochran should be next, and Coach slightly, barely agrees.  For him, keeping Cochran and Edna would be best for his game, but he doesn't know what to do.

Day 30.  Coach teaches Cochran some more tai chi, noting that with their new-found serenity, one of them should win the Immunity Challenge.  You see, Coach just plays the game so he can find a student, and he thinks he has done so with Cochran.  With the support of Coach, Cochran believes he can win the...

...Immunity Challenge.  This is a typical Survivor De Ja Vu Challenge.  The castaways will toss sandbags onto three crates.  The first three to land their bags move to the final round to fire slingshots at targets.  The first to knock down three targets wins Immunity and a Reward of a bush shower and massage treatment.  Survivors ready...go!

Coach immediately lands two bags to everyone else's one.  Sophie gets her second bag as does Rick.  Albert gets his second, and third to advance.  Rick gets his third, as does Sophie.  Taking one coconut at a time, Albert, Sophie and Rick aim for their three targets.  Albert gets his first, as does Rick.  Rick then knocks down number two, quickly followed by Albert.  Sophie can't hit the broad side of a barn.  Albert knocks down his final target.  Albert wins Immunity and Reward!  Jeff informs him that there is a second massage table back at camp.  He may pick one person to join him in the massage.  Albert picks Coach, and then asks if he can pick a third person.  When Jeff tells him no, Albert then asks if he can give his massage to someone else.  Jeff says that is fine, so Albert gives his Reward to the birthday boy, Cochran.  Cochran tells the camera that either Albert gave him the reward to curry favor for a possible alliance, or as a nice farewell before Cochran is voted off.

When the tribe returns RI camp, two massage tables and two masseuses await them.  Cochran is psyched that his little lie about his birthday has won him something.  His birthday was actually six months ago!  It's not as evil/brilliant/devious as Jonny Fairplay having his "loved one" say his grandmother died, but it is just as effective.  As he enjoys his massage and shower, Coach feels like he has everything right now, but he would also like Cochran to be safe tonight.

For his part, Cochran pulls Albert aside, and the latter confirms that Cochran is likely to go home.  Albert says that Coach is likely on their side.  They agree that they'd rather get rid of Rick at the next vote.  Cochran immediately runs to Edna to tell her that Albert wants Rick out.  She admits that they owe Cochran a debt and that she'd like to work with him.  Cochran then goes to Coach to talk about voting out Rick.  Coach contemplates this...and contemplates...and contemplates.  He confides to the camera that he has the game in his hands, so he must make the right decision at...

...Tribal Council.  Coach, how many possibilities are there at tonight's Tribal Council?  Numerous as everyone is scavenging for votes.  Cochran speaks to the debt that might be owed to him though he admits he is likely to be voted out tonight.  Albert agrees and talks about how he wants to maintain the image of the tribe (why is everyone on Upolu obsessed with how the tribe looks on tv?).  Edna is emotional because she knows she's in sixth position.  She's sad because she's already been deceived numerous times.

Brandon chimes in that he is definitely voting for Cochran tonight, and then Edna at the next Tribal Council as that has always been the plan.  According to Brandon, things are truly black and white, and if you're grey at all, that means you're lying.  Jeff asks Coach if Brandon's unwillingness to change strategies is a disadvantage.  Coach admits he is worried that Brandon isn't malleable.  Brandon starts crying that there are times he wants to do the "wrong" things, but then there is a higher power forcing him to do the right thing.  Jeff asks Cochran, is there a glimmer of hope because Brandon might not be able to handle the rigors of the game?  Yup -- Brandon's not a great player to align with because he is utterly inflexible.  Sophie tells Jeff she isn't worried about there even being a situation where they'd have to alter their plans, but what if Edna wins Immunity next? Cochran asks.  "Then it's on," Sophie replies, although a bit unconvincingly.  Noting this was one of the most interesting Tribals to date, it's is time to vote.

They do, and Jeff collects the ballots.  The first vote is for Cochran, the second for Rick.  Vote Three is for Rick and Vote Four is for Cochran.  Vote Five, too, is for Cochran.  "The thirteenth person voted out of Survivor: South Pacific and the fifth member of the Jury...Cochran!"  Cochran's torch is snuffed and he stumbles out through the Blue Light of Death.  Jeff mentions that a lot of information was revealed tonight, but it is up to the players as to what they do with it.

But Wait....There's More on Page 2!!

Survivor: South Pacific 23.12 "Cult Like" Recap

Was it just me or was that by far the best episode of The Amazing Race this season?

I mean, it hasn't had a whole lot of serious challengers in that regard, but "Release the Brake!" managed to cut down on some of the show's idiosyncrasies while highlighting what can make an episode of The Amazing Race such good TV. Going into the episode, however, I have to say that I was a little disenchanted with the idea of this being the second part to an unnecessary two-part leg, but once it got going, it more than made up for that fact.

Failing to utilize a time equalizing bit of trans-production interference or brutally simple challenges for one of the first times all season, "Release the Brake!" instead gave us solid tasks, little obvious show interjection, and gorgeous scenery. It was a more mental episode than some of the physicality-focused installments in recent times, though there were physical elements to the car driving and the boat rowing, and that made the show feel a little fresher than it had been feeling. As innovative as The Amazing Race can be, they can get  trapped in bad habits and though "Release the Brake!" wasn't revolutionary television or anything, it felt a little closer to the show's glory days.

I mean, how could you not enjoy how apathetic Ernie's instructor was to everything? Or the adorable bond between Bill and Cathi, who have gotten more joy out of this race than everybody else combined? Hell, even the product placement wasn't as daunting to deal with as past episodes, partly because the stop/slalom/doughnut challenge was so cool and partly because the rest of the episode was interesting enough for it not to stick out. Another major positive, some of my favorite installments of The Amazing Race have seen the detour pretty evenly split between each task and tonight was no exception, with three teams building a raft and two teams selling waffles. Both continue with this season's dedication to details, as the boat option forced the teams to spot two "half clues" while rowing down a local waterway and the waffle option involved lots of strategically placed fruit that frustrated the whipped cream out of Jeremy and Sandy.

One could argue that challenges like this are misleading and that they aren't an indication of a team's true talent, but I think that they test your ability to see the whole picture and value methodical work over the typical chicken-with-its-head-cut-off approach that a lot of racers tend to take whilst frustrated. Of course, too many of them and a season starts becoming redundant, but at least this type of challenge works out discernible skills that a team should have. Other challenges this season have been more time waster, less culling the wheat from the chaff and for next season to take a step up, it needs to focus on the latter and seriously dial down the former.

Capped off by an emotional elimination of grandparents Bill and Cathi, "Release the Brake!" was the first episode of this season of The Amazing Race to actually challenge the contestants; instead of relying on outside forces to provide the drama and have the teams react the entire time, it felt like everyone had to get a little more proactive and that made for a better show all around. It's almost as if the show isn't trusting its casting and feels like they have to make their presence more known to keep people interested, but Sunday's episode showed that not to be the case, as I was actively involved in the drama and not just admiring the sites and sounds of the location this time. There are only two more episodes left in this season of The Amazing Race and it looks like things are finally getting interesting.

But is it too late?

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"That's what we call a doughnut here in Belgium."
-"I don't know. 'Cause they're tall...and we're not."
-"We'll call that waffle Ernie. He farts."
-Historical Facts of the Episode: Belgium has more castles per square mile than any other country. Also, Belgium is the number one place for pigeon racing. Word to Mike Tyson.
-Andy/Tommy pretty much have this locked up, no? They're running a Meghan/Cheyne kind of race, having finished first in six of the ten legs.
-What was more annoying: Andy's whole God spiel about his jealousy over not doing the road block or Marcus's constant empty sports cliches?
-There are casting spoilers for season 20 floating around the 'net, if you're into that kind of thing.
-The teeny clue reminded me of an old Will Ferrell Saturday Night Live sketch with a teeny cell phone/computer. Anybody else?
-Final Order: (1) Andy/Tommy, (2) Jeremy/Sandy, (3) Ernie/Cindy, (4) Amani/Marcus, (5) Bill/Cathi
-Next week on The Amazing Race: As the race heads to Panama, Sandy's freaking out at a heights challenge and the teams look for clues on dresses. Who will make it to the final three?

The Amazing Race 19.10 "Release the Brake!" Review

2 Broke Girls gobbles up its latest effort "And the Very Christmas Thanksgiving" from its freshman season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) and Caroline (Beth Behrs) taking second jobs as hired holiday help in a department store to make some extra cash for supplies.  There's a few cute moments to be sure, but if someone leaves this episode in your stocking you might be left wondering where you went wrong this year.

If it feels like the holidays come earlier and earlier each year, it’s because they do, and 2 Broke Girls treats us to what is ostensibly a Christmas episode before Thanksgiving has even occurred with very appropriately titled* “And The Very Christmas Thanksgiving.”  Granted the episode focuses more on Black Friday and the rush of holiday spending/jobs created in its wake, but having never participated in a Black Friday sale I’m personally hard-pressed to associate it with either holiday.

Of course hundreds of TV shows have performed hundreds of holiday episodes a dozen times over, and staging one in a CBS sitcom’s first season isn’t likely to blow us away with its warm fuzzies, regardless of how little we know the characters.  A moment toward the end had Caroline simply belting out unrelated holiday fixtures like Tiny Tim’s ever famous line from A Christmas Carol or It’s a Wonderful Life itself, which made me feel as though “And the Very Christmas Thanksgiving” didn’t really have a point to make, but rather threw sentiments at the wall to see what sticks.

On the one hand, I liked what 2 Broke Girls brought to the holiday table with “Very Christmas Thanksgiving,” as Caroline’s issues with her family and financial situation had been mostly steamrolled over lately.  There was one point during “And Hoarder Culture” that toyed around with the idea, but never committed to bringing out the negative emotions of someone utterly ruined financially and socially.  Here we finally get to explore what the holidays mean to Caroline without money or even an opportunity to see her father, and the transition feels mostly earned over the course of the episode, Max mostly relegated to cracking wise about the meltdown when she’s not trying to bring Caroline to her “dark side” of cynicism on the holidays.

On the other hand, I couldn’t forgive “And the Very Christmas Thanksgiving” for the same reason I never liked 500 Days of Summer, when hardship ruins character rather than strengthens them.  I wanted to slap Joseph Gordon-Levitt for moping so angstily that his precious girlfriend left him, much as “Mary Christmas” shoving Caroline into a display felt justified.  There comes a certain point where comically exaggerating someone’s despair crosses over from funny to ridiculous, and at no point should we be expected to swallow that the otherwise chipper Caroline would break down screaming at a bunch of children about the horrible truth behind Christmas.  We can’t always ask Santa for realism in our CBS three-camera sitcoms, but I’m definitely putting this one on the TVTrope naughty list for good.

Beyond Caroline’s horrifically inappropriate meltdown (which they address, thankfully) I did have a few chuckles over how deftly show manages to work dirty humor and visuals into its writing, the image of Kat Dennings covered in batter and making a “Christmas comes all over me” taking the figurative cake.  Though for the record, I’ve also never been more painfully aware of the show’s formulaic “character says X, Kat Dennings BLANK (insert turned phrase, or topical reference here) with Y” approach to dialogue.  if you don’t get why topical references have no place in comedy like this, I’ll refer you to the endless Dreamworks Vs. Pixar debate.

After last week’s “And The Really Petty Cash” forced the Johnny story back into the spotlight, it was nice to have a break to explore issues not really dealt with since the pilot, I just wish we hadn’t needed such a packaged, unrealistic story to get there.  But after all, isn’t that what Christmas is really about?

If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to schlep down to the convenience store in a bathrobe for a bottle of Jack Daniels and some Twinkies.  God help you if you flaunt your happiness in front of me.

And Another Thing

• *I confess that I started writing about the episode being more Christmas than Thanksgiving, and stopped midway through to find the episode's actual title, which more or less addressed the situation.
• That had to be about the worst-looking prop $20 I’ve ever seen.
• I’ve done a few energy shots in my day, and they are EXACTLY like being tired and wired at the same time.
• Elf-hole, Bi-polar Express, Children of the Corn, how many puns can 2 Broke Girls fit in an episode?

What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.10 "And The Very Christmas Thanksgiving" Review

As I've mentioned in other reviews this week, my computer was down for a while, hence no Amazing Race reviews for the past two weeks. Apologies for all that, but I'm here now. And just in time, apparently...

Season 19 of The Amazing Race has been lacking one key element that could raise it from being the humdrum disappointment that it's been for nine episodes (spoiler alert), one thing that earlier seasons of the show possessed in spades that has been noticeably absent for at least the past several years. The thing that's missing?

Stakes.

It feels like nothing on the show matters in the least, as there will no doubt be a non-elimination, a two-part leg, or a time equalizing bit of transportation that will undo any sort of progress that an episode can be making. Teams are tethered together like ill behaved children at the local mall, getting out of reach just enough before the powers that be yank them back with the rest of their cohorts for some reason or another. No lead is safe on The Amazing Race and very rarely is a team 100% out of a leg, but that goes from wild and unpredictable to predictably unpredictable when we can't go one episode without negating everything that happened in the previous 41 minutes and change.

"It's Speedo Time" continued season 19's absurd clinginess to its teams, as we got the first two part leg on a season that has already seen three non-elimination legs. I knew it was going to happen (my sixth sense is detecting BS on reality TV shows), but when Amani and Marcus were finished celebrating their trip to Panama for winning tonight's leg and Phil told them it wasn't over, I nearly threw my cup of apple juice at the screen in disgust. Really? It's bad enough that the episode threw in the now token equalizing train ride, which Ernie and Cindy lost a ticket for (these people, you guys...); the revelation that all teams would be on the same train leaving an obscene amount of time later made the pretty decent first half of the show mean absolutely nothing, but the non-non-elimination was the arrow to the heart of "It's Speedo Time" and killed any sort of good will that may have accumulated.

There wasn't a whole lot, though, considering how poor the challenges were. To me, the best episodes of The Amazing Race combine the two areas you need to excel in in order to excel in The Amazing Race; you have to be mentally limber enough to work out tough puzzles and you have to be physically able to handle grueling tasks and long bouts of traveling. "Speedo Time" turned in two highly subjective challenges that may have seemed legitimate, though it felt like each's real purpose was to embarrass contestants for the "delight" of the home audience. I have no shame in reveling in other people's craziness on reality TV, but it cheapened the leg to see two of the three tasks amounted to nothing more than "teehee, so-and-so is acting silly" or shots of 10 people in their underwear on national television. The only remotely decent thing about the activities of "Speedo Time" was the Legoland puzzle, which teams had to assemble while riding a dizzying carnival ride. It may have been along the same lines of the other two in terms of cheap thrills, but the result of the puzzle was not in the hands of a missing extra from A Christmas Carol or three tough bodybuilding judges; it was with the teams themselves and that's something that The Amazing Race tends to overlook sometimes.

I mean, it's okay to allow the teams taking control of this show once in a while, otherwise the show becomes too big of an entity and the teams become less important. I've had a hard time finding a team to root for in season 19, likely because of the fact that we don't get to see the teams just race. We see The Amazing Race toy with them for an hour and then it tosses out the one that has lost its shine that week, which isn't the most compelling sort of television.

It may be speedo time (it's always speedo time for me, for the record), but it's also time for this season of The Amazing Race to kick it into high gear. We're down to the final five and there's zero urgency about things, mostly due to the show's continued meddling and refusal to let things happen as they will. I can never get into an episode and let myself worry for a team's chances because I know that before the next commercial break, there will be some knight-in-shining-plane-tickets to swoop in and "save the day". He may save the day, but he knocks the wind out of every episode and season 19's lack of episodic flow can be blamed on this fact. The Amazing Race may have a truckload of Emmys for its work, but at the moment, it's flexing all the wrong muscles.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:

• "Hands in the air. Lord Jesus."
• "I'd hate to throw up on any kids, though."
• "You know what they say about people with big maps...a lot of places to go."
• "I hope my coffin's bigger than this."
• Historical fact of the episode: Copenhagen has the cleanest urban waterfront in the world. Also, Legoland produces 50 million pieces per day.
• I have to ask: who do you think looked best in their speedo? My vote: Ernie, as goofy-cute as he can be.
• Can Marcus, like, stop with the constant stream of football references/analogies/metaphors? He may not want to let the other teams know of his past profession, but he won't let the audience forget.
• Up next on The Peter Griffin Side-Boob Hour: Amani, whose eensy orange bikini gave way to blurring at least once.
• Next week: Marcus talks some trash and everybody drives fast cars. Whee.

The Amazing Race 19.09 "It's Speedo Time" Review

If you missed last week's episode, do yourself a favor and catch up with my recap here.

This week's edition of Survivor begins on Night 24 at Redemption Island with Jim's arrival.  The three former Savaiis laugh at the fact that they were supposed to be the Final Three.  Jim confesses that Coach is leading a cult back at Te Tuna.  Ozzy rues the fact that Coach will just bring Edna and Cochran to the end with him and win the game.

Over at the aforementioned Te Tuna, Coach says that Jim is the worst kind of guy because he has no loyalty.  Coach confides that whomever is on the bottom of the alliance needs to be kept happy so they don't revolt.  That's why he talks about loyalty so much and is always checking in with those on the bottom of the totem pole.  Whitney can't understand how all of these smart people (i.e. Sophie and Cochran) can be so stupid as to fall for Coach's lines.

The next morning, Coach leads Cochran in some yoga.  Cochran admits that he's drinking the Coach Kool-Aid.  Coach tells his new acolyte that he's becoming worried about Brandon and Albert.  Cochran notes the power struggle and feels nervous about his spot in the game.  Perhaps he can clear his head while watching the...

...Duel.  For this three-way Duel, each player will have his arms outstretched and hold two poles on the back of his hands and against an overhead beam.  The first two players to drop a pole become members of the Jury.  Jeff starts the Duel and ten minutes passes.  Brandon says he's rooting for Jim; Whitney is rooting for Keith.  Unsurprisingly, no one favors Ozzy.  Jim loses his focus and drops his poles.  Keith's pole close to edge, as does Ozzy's. Keith's pole drops and Ozzy stays alive.  Keith asks Ozzy to win the game for them.  Ozzy says he's in the best place in the game because he is eating lots of fish and doesn't have to trust anyone.  Jim hopes there is a Double Redemption Island twist, but alas, he must throw his buff in the fire.  Keith does the same as Ozzy and the others head back to their camps.

On Redemption Island, Ozzy swims for some fish.  Being alone is a mini paradise for him.  He's glad Te Tuna is missing his skills as no one is providing back at their beach.  Plus, he doesn't have to deal with the normal end game of Survivor and all of its scheming, plotting and lying.

Back at Te Tuna, Ozzy's words appear to be true, as no one is eating.  Dawn admits to Cochran that she should have flipped with him and now she's willing to do whatever she can to stay in the game.  This leads Cochran to contemplate going back to Dawn and Whitney and likely earn more Jury votes.  He will have to consider this plan after the...

...Immunity Challenge.  For the Challenge, each player must balance a rice-filled bowl on his or her head.  Without touching the bowl or spilling it, the players must race over two teeter-totters and pour the rice into a collection bowl.  When enough rice has been added, the collection bowl will lower and a flag will be raised.  The first to raise the flag wins Immunity.  "Survivors ready....go!"  Albert drops his first bowl of rice, as do Coach and Cochran.  Dawn, Sophie and Brandon all negotiate the teeter-totters and drop off their first bowls.  Coach scores a bowl, and Brandon gets his second in the collection bowl.  Dawn and Sophie get their second bowls too.  For her third bowl, Sophie overflows her bowl.  Brandon scores his third, but it's not enough, nor does Dawn's.  Sophie makes it the entire way with her overloaded bowl, and pours it into the collection bowl.  It is way more than enough as her flag is raised.  Sophie wins Immunity, and a hug from Rick (his only action the entire episode)!  Jeff dresses Sophie in the Immunity Necklace, and announces that there will be a twist revealed at Tribal Council.

Day 27.  Cochran was upset by his performance in the Challenge, leaving him in danger and what he thinks will be a double elimination.  Dawn believes she will be the one to next head to RI.  Whitney wants to make a move, but is having trouble finding the right people: Brandon is crazy, Rick isn't playing, and Coach is, well, Coach.  Albert, therefore, is the target.  She and Dawn approach him about teaming up.  For his part, Albert wants to secure every Savaii vote he can, so maybe if he moves against Edna, he will be able to sew up Savaii's votes.  He says he will get Cochran and try for one more vote to get rid of Edna.

Albert talks to Cochran and tells him he is in seventh place.  This upsets Cochran who believes he should be rewarded for saving Upolu.  Albert approaches Sophie about his plan, too.  She is sympathetic as they are both strategic players.  Cochran thinks Coach is getting suspicious of their maneuvering.  Coach confides that whatever Albert is doing, whether it be trying to eliminate him or just trying to secure Savaii's votes, it is bad news.  If anyone moves against The Family, they're dead.  Will someone from Upolu pull a Fredo at...

...Tribal Council?  Jeff welcomes the Jury: a clean-shaven Jim and a skirt-wearing Keith.  Dawn, it appears to be time to find or create a crack in the alliance of seven.  She replies that it is time for numbers 5, 6, and 7 in the Upolu alliance to make a move.  Whitney, who are the bottom people? Jeff asks.  Cochran is seven, but that's all she knows.  Cochran recognizes that he is a latecomer to Upolu.  True or false, Cochran, this is best time to make a move?  Definitely true, and he, as a fan, would actually like to see a big move made.  Dawn says she should be used to make a move because she has kept her word throughout the game, so she will be loyal.  Coach, how concerning is it that one person could change the plan and the game could slip away?  Coach replies that he's always thinking, but he isn't running the show.  He worries, and plots, and trusts, all day long, and it is driving him nuts.  Whitney says everyone reports back to Coach, so he must be the leader.  Albert says Coach might just be a figurehead for the tribe.  Coach likes the info he just received as he can use it to save himself when his life in the game is on the line, which he admits will be soon.

With that, it's time to vote.  They do, and Jeff collects the ballots.  No one plays the Hidden Immunity Idol. Dawn and Edna alternate the first four votes.  Votes Five and Six are for Dawn.  Jeff reads the seventh vote, "The eleventh person voted out of Survivor: South Pacific...Dawn!"  She has her torch snuffed and makes her way to Redemption Island.  Jeff then reveals the twist: it's time for another Tribal Council, following a second...

...Immunity Challenge.  Jeff will ask the castaways survival-related questions.  If a player gives a wrong answer, that player is out.  Albert, Edna, and Rick all go out on first question.  Cochran and Brandon are out on a coconut crab question.  Coach is eliminated when he believes the flesh of a coconut is called coco sprouts.  Whitney and Sophie remain.  The next question is a true/false question, and as the women give opposite answers, it is the deciding question.  The answer is False and Sophie wins Immunity!  She receives the necklace and is asked to take the urn and immediately vote.  Everyone does and Jeff collects and reads the votes.  Vote One is for Cochran.  Vote Two is for Whitney, as are Votes Three, Four and Five.  Jeff reads the sixth vote, "The twelfth person voted out of Survivor: South Pacific...Whitney!"  Her torch is snuffed, and she marches off into the Blue Light of Death.  Jeff tells Te Tuna that the Good news is that they have accomplished eliminating Savaii.  The bad news is that there is no place left to hide.  With that, he sends them back to camp.

But Wait...There's More on Page 2!!

Survivor: South Pacific 23.10 "Running the Show" Recap

2 Broke Girls pukes up its latest delight "And the Really Petty Cash" from its freshman season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) dancing around her relationship with Johnny (Nick Zano) as his girlfriend Cashandra (Marsha Thomasan) hires the waitresses to serve cupcakes at her event. "And the Really Petty Cash" feels like an episode that didn't quite bake long enough, its ideas never quite rising the way they're set up.

Last week I made the unusual decision to compare 2 Broke Girls to Shakespeare in its uneven, if heartwarming initial courtships between Max and Johnny, and I feel that decision may have come back to bite me.  What goes up, must come down, and I suspect good reason behind the fact that while last week Kat Dennings herself tweeted her excitement for “And Hoarder Culture,”  no such buzz surrounded “And the Really Petty Cash.”  Without realizing it, I kept scribbling “took a (adjective) turn” in my notes, by the end realizing “Really Petty Cash” had spun itself about, ending up messier than the cupcakes Max and Caroline drunkenly spread all over one another (and no, that’s not as appealing as it sounds.)

The problem lies in the inconsistency of tone and character, as right from the outset a customer’s birthday triggers an expectedly unenthusiastic song from Max, and an over-the-top Christina Aguilera-style embellishment from Caroline.  It’s a small moment to be sure, but “Really Petty Cash” feels littered with these broader sitcom-y moments that contradict more level-headed behavior we’ve seen in episodes past.

“Really Petty Cash” looks to create a deeper conversation by forcing Max back into the situation with Johnny’s girlfriend Cashandra and examining the way modern people attempt to turn off their feelings like a light switch, but ends up as drunkenly incoherent as Max herself.  Even Nick, who previously seemed a much more levelheaded love interest bounces back and forth between actual humanity, and voraciously eating Kat Dennings’ face*.

Then arrives a deeper issue that’s never truly explored, the manner that Max becomes increasingly inebriated in her efforts to cope.  You’d think that such behavior from her and Caroline under the watchful eye of a shrewd host at one of their most important cupcake gigs to date might have consequences the next morning, but we’re not privy to any of the fallout, and even Johnny himself disappears from the proceedings midway through.  Twenty-something single folk in New York certainly aren’t strangers to booze washing away such in-your-face heartache, but it never feels like “Really Petty Cash” wants to actually deal with the character’s emotional state, rather skirting around the adult questions as deftly as it sneaks sex jokes into its writing.

By the end our audience feels just as rattled and unaware as the unconscious and hung over Max herself, with no real resolution to any of the inherent problems created by the episode’s plot.  Some New York mornings will always be a hangover, sullied clothes and destroyed memorabilia.  But we don’t have the luxury of writers to give them meaning.

Watching Bored to Death earlier it occurred to me that some sitcoms will coast by on the charm of their leads, but “And the Really Petty Cash” doesn’t share that luxury.  Max’s grief response to her admitted feelings for Johnny feel real enough to give Kat Dennings a pass, but the meddlesome and broad Caroline paints a far different picture from the competent businesswoman we’ve seen from Beth Behrs more recently.  The show does place continued effort into making its side characters more than racial stereotypes, but otherwise this felt like a step backwards.

The thousand monkeys in a room eventually produced Shakespeare, but we never knew what they came out with the following week.

And Another Thing…

• Admittedly, how could you stand in the vicinity of Kat Dennings’ chest ,and not want to eat her face?
• Feels like we were hitting the objectification a little too much tonight, with the cleavage grading and lesbian implications.  Yes, this comment after my adoration of Kat Dennings’ glorious chest.
• Was the “flip a switch to make a car bounce” joke dirtier than I’m seeing on the surface?
• “The Gay Marvins” is an awesome name for a band.  A band that’s very comfortable with itself.
• Between this and How I Met Your Mother’s “Tick Tick Tick,” lots of cheating stories on CBS tonight.  Someone in scheduling is mad at his girlfriend.
• I hadn’t noticed it last week, but Cashandra (Marsha Thomasan)  was Naomi from LOST!
• So…Johnny painted the kissing image on a billboard, then recreated it in a smaller size…out of newspaper?
• I just got the title’s double meaning!  Clever girls.

What did YOU think?

2 Broke Girls 1.09 "And the Really Petty Cash" Review

If you missed last week's all important episode, make sure you catch up with my recap here.

This week's installment of Survivor: South Pacific begins after Te Tuna's first Tribal Council.  Back at camp, Ozzy asks Cochran what's up with his vote.  Cochran says that he has wanted to play this game so bad that the didn't want his fate decided by rocks.  Brandon tries to butt in to make sure no one is being rough with Cochran, but Ozzy shoos him away.  Ozzy says that Cochran stabbed him in the back "so hard." Cochran says it was self-preservation.  Jim calls him a coward and says he never wants to speak to him again.  Whitney then reads Cochran the riot act because she and Keith had saved him three times.  Now, they'll be picked off one by one.  "You disgust me," she concludes.  On the other hand, Upolu welcomes Cochran with open arms (literally! Rick hugged him!  And thus ends the Rick portion of the episode.).

The next morning, Day 22, Coach confesses that his tribe pulled off an amazing feat, against all odds (though it was 6 vs 6).  It's time for some tai chi.  He asks Cochran who should go home next, and Cochran replies he'd like Ozzy out on a strategy level, but Jim on a personal level.  Ozzy confides that he needs to change his strategy now that Cochran turned on him.  As he's likely the next target, it is important that he win the next...

...Immunity Challenge (this early? Must be a double elimination episode).  For the Challenge, the castaways must toss coconuts into a ring.  The first four to score their coconuts move on to the second round where they must crack coconuts open, gulp the coconut water and hold it in their mouths, climb through an obstacle, and spit the water into a tube.  The first to fill up his or her tube wins Immunity. Survivors ready...go!

Dawn lands a coconut in her ring, followed by Whitney.  Jim and Sophie quickly follow up to advance to the next round.  Everyone else is out and Ozzy is beside himself.   Jeff starts up the next round and offers this commentary, "Whitney getting a good mouthful."  (No further comment necessary.)  Sophie takes the lead, but Jim's larger mouth allows him to catch up.  Jim is just short of the finish line, allowing Sophie to have a chance to win, but she begins to choke and has to spit out her water.  Jim makes his way through the obstacle, raises his arms in pre-celebration, and wins Immunity!

After a very cool in-ocean turtle shot, Brandon says they need to vote Ozzy out.  For his part, Ozzy tells Coach that he doesn't want to go.  Coach says he doesn't want Ozzy to go either because of his newfound humility (Ozzy's, not Coach's).  Dawn confesses that she can either stick with Savaii until the end, or flip to side with Upolu.  Jim tells Whitney that he is the most hated man in the game now because he speaks his mind.  He comes up with a plan where he will give the Immunity necklace to Ozzy and ask Upolu to vote out Cochran as Upolu will still have the advantage and they can get rid of a liar.  Ozzy tells the camera that this is totally surreal right now, that Jim will actually give him the necklace at ...

...Tribal Council.  Jeff asks Cochran what was the reaction to his move.  Chilly, to put it mildly.  Jim admits to acting a bit childish when they returned from the last Tribal Council.  Cochran says his move was his chance to take control of his game, and play with people he wanted to play with...no offense intended.  Jim says Cochran was saved three times by Whitney, Keith and him.  Jim also has had a chance to know Upolu now, and thinks they would play with honor.  Brandon says that Savaii's attitude has changed, as they made fun of Upolu's honor at the last Tribal Council.  Jim says he's thinking about giving Ozzy his Immunity because they, as a group, can show people at home that the game can be played honorably.  Coach is listening, but standing by Cochran.  Ozzy says that if he is voted out, he will be back, and since he will only be feeding himself on RI, he'll be back stronger than he is now.  Jeff asks if Jim is giving over his necklace?  Nope, he's keeping it, and Ozzy's face drops.

It's time to vote, they do, and Jeff collects the votes.  The first four voted alternate between Ozzy and Cochran.  Votes Five and Six are for Ozzy.  Vote Seven is for Ozzy.  Jeff reads the Eighth ballot, "The ninth person voted out of Survivor: South Pacific...Ozzy!"  Once again, the tribe has spoken.  Ozzy runs off into the Blue Light of Death.  Jeff tells Te Tuna that the game has been unpredictable for 22 days.  Dawn, Whitney and Jim have to hope it stays that way.  On RI, Keith asks if it was Cochran that betrayed them. "Of course!" Ozzy replies.

The next day, Ozzy is excited to have a chance to explore the reef off RI where he catches a HUGE fish.  He is happy to be at RI and wondering what the other players are eating.  Cut to...

...Immunity Challenge #2.  For the Challenge, the players must stand on a balance beam while balancing a ball on a wooden bow.  After a period of time, the players will move down the beam to make it harder.  The last one still balancing their ball will win Immunity.  There is a twist, however; if you are confident you are safe, you can sit out and feast on pastries and iced coffee.  Coach is unmoved.  He wants to compete today.  Jim says there are seven people who don't need to compete today, which convinces Coach to sit out.  Only Jim, Dawn and Whitney are going to play.

The Challenge begins and the seven not playing dig into their feast.  Coach can only laugh when asked if he still wishes he was competing.  Brandon practically has an orgasm.  Jim drops his ball rather quickly, leaving Dawn and Whitney.  Dawn says that she is going to stay in the Challenge so the Upolu folks can ea, earning huge cheers.  She feels it is one tribe and she wants them to enjoy the muffins.  The ladies move down the beam while the eating has slowed and Brandon rests his head on Cochran's shoulder.  Dawn recovers from a huge stumble, earning more cheers.  Whitney notes that is easy to tell who Brandon likes more.  The support doesn't help as Dawn falls off the balance beam.  Whitney wins Immunity!  Albert tells the camera that he is upset without the way they treated Dawn at the Challenge: i.e. they were too inclusive.  He needs to head that sentiment off before it gets too big.

The next day, Cochran sports Coach's blazer.  Jim confides that Cochran is playing the greatest third place game in the history of Survivor.  Jim tries to lay out a plan to Albert and Sophie, and tries to get them to vote out Edna.  Albert thinks he has a much better plan: vote out Dawn because she is slowly working her way into the Upolu alliance.  Albert poses this to Sophie, noting that people won't gravitate toward Jim.  Sophie confesses that she'd rather get rid of Jim and just stick with the original plan.  Albert asks Brandon and Coach their opinions.  Coach offers to the camera an animal metaphor (Jim is a charging rhino, Dawn is a slithering snake), and a hope that they send home the right person tonight at...

...Tribal Council.  Coach, is it fair to assume it is Dawn or Jim going home?  Yes.  Sophie, is Jim more of a threat in Challenge?  Dawn is great in Challenges, she admits, but Jim is more dangerous.  Albert, is Dawn the most likable?  Yup, and strongest female player this season.  Dawn says that if she was in the majority, she still would have competed in the Immunity Challenge, and, yes, Savaii would have picked off Upolu if they had the chance.  Brandon thinks that she somehow lied and he goes on another rant, promising that they won't stop until all of Savaii is gone.  Whitney cries because she feels she is being vilified -- Upolu doesn't even view them as people.  Brandon, is it hard to see Whitney cry?  Yes, but Upolu was ostracized until they had power. (What the hell is he taking about?!?)

They vote, and Jeff collects the ballots.  The first three votes are for Edna.  The next five are for Jim.  Jeff reads the ninth vote, "The tenth person voted out of Survivor: South Pacific...Jim!"  He has his torch snuffed, and heads off to RI.  Jeff tells the departing Te Tuna tribe that a lot was said tonight, but was anything revealed that might help Dawn or Whitney?

But Wait...There's More on Page 2!!

Survivor: South Pacific 23.09 "Cut Throat" Recap

2 Broke Girls pulls together its latest effort "And Hoarder Culture" from its first season, which sees Max (Kat Dennings) taking a step forward in her relationship with Johnny (Nick Zano), while Caroline (Beth Behrs) lands a new job organizing a Hoarder's apartment. "And Hoarder Culture" serves up some of 2 Broke Girls' usual fare, but there's an intriguing undercurrent that may require a deeper, more theatrical examination.

It can be difficult to review an ongoing TV series week after week, particularly in your sophomore effort.  When last I watched 2 Broke Girls “And the Pretty Problem” I attempted to penetrate as deeply as I could*, so finding the next step in what to say a second time around with “And Hoarder Culture” might seem superfluous given my already ill-tempered disposition toward CBS, and the modern three-camera sitcom.

I want to like 2 Broke Girls, I do.  For all its crudity, the series mines some truth now and again, and I’m a sucker for all things Kat Dennings.  Having a background in the theatre myself, “And Hoarder Culture” did manage to grab my attention with its distinctly Shakespearean feel, more than mere reference but the occasional wordplay, symmetrical storytelling and lyrical wit.  Sure, “And Hoarder Culture” still managed to wherever possible lob near of every penis and 69 joke imaginable, but even the Bard had his more bawdy temperaments.

If there’s any reason to like tonight’s 2 Broke Girls however, it’d be the lady herself, Kat Dennings.  Kat gets to show off a far broader range than the typically dour and shrew-like Max, here manically cheerful at the Hoarder’s unendingly absurd collection, or genuine in her relationship with the returning Johnny.  I can’t yet put my finger on why the dynamic between Max and Johnny works as well as it does, but I like Kat Dennings displaying a wealth of colors in an otherwise clichéd plot.

“And Hoarding Culture” also gives off an interesting metaphor in the way people hoard emotions much as real Hoarders gather useless junk.  There’s value to be held in the lesson for both Max and Caroline as they avoid dealing with the emotions creeping their way through the walls they’ve put up, a sentiment far deeper than I would normally expect to find in a show like this.  Johnny even provides a refreshing turn by admitting his hoarded feelings about Max in not knowing what to do with his current girlfriend, in turn fleshing out the otherwise cool customer (pun…intended).

In the end, it’s all still very cute and schmaltzy as you’d expect a three-camera sitcom to be, though I give points for Johnny’s tagged billboard as an inventively original display of feelings.  The story didn’t go in the direction I’d assumed, namely that Max’s revelation about hoarding her feelings for Johnny would translate into Caroline realizing she’d not properly dealt with her own sad situation.  For the moment, I’m undecided if that’s a surprisingly unique turn, or a sloppily missed opportunity, but nevertheless I remain amused.

And once Mr. Shakespeare stops spinning in his grave, he might even crack a smile or two.

And Another Thing…

• *Honestly, how far am I supposed to get into a 2 Broke Girls review without a sex joke?
• I now have a visual of Angela Lansbury begging for it in a diner booth.  Thank you, 2 Broke Girls.
• As a young (ish) writer in New York City, I can appreciate the Craigslist and Manhattan-related humor, and not simply in a Family Guy “ha, that reference appeals to us!” way.
• “He likes you with his penis.”  Wow.
• “Black and British.  The two cool things I can never be.”  I hear that.

What did you think?

2 Broke Girls 1.08 "And Hoarder Culture" Review