This week it's the day of the bachelor/bachelorette parties. The boys go fishing and find something better than sockeye, and the girls just wanna have psychic fun. But someone's going to come down with a terminal case of late, who's it gonna be?

Previously: Uncle Marty had charisma, pills, a gun and a bag full of cash. Then he had a problem keeping his bottom half attached to his top half. Hunter had a sweetheart deal with Wellington to win Trish back, then he had a sweeter deal to just leave. Then he had a boat with Uncle Marty's cash on board...and a shotgun blast to the face.

The dead: Cousin Ben (never seen), Uncle Marty, the preacher, Kelly, Lucy, Hunter…and yeah, Cal and Chloe still live, but at least they're getting more tolerable...I hope. After this episode, I have serious doubts about Cal.

The drinking game: Wondering where the dead people are, and anytime someone's showing some skin. (You didn't think I was letting this go, did you?)

After our obligatory opening shots of island porn we open on the accoutrement of the psychic Karena, who Shea has hired to entertain at Trish's bachelorette party. Checking up on things, Shea and Karena talk while creepy little Madison zeroes in on the tarot deck.

Like you're even surprised.

Shea tries to apologize, but Karena waves her off, deciding it's time to help Madison get a little creepier. "They look magical." Karena nods and tells the little girl that the cards tell her things about people. "I know things about people." Pointing to The Tower, creepy little Madison asks if it means that people are going to die. Karena just looks enigmatic, I shout, "Hell, yeah!" at the screen. And oh, hey, let's add to the liver damage - Creepy kid is creepy? Drink. This first one's on me.

At The Cannery, Nikki and Abby are chatting about the getting gifts for the uber-rich. Abby's asked Nikki for a secret recipe and she's flipping through a scrapbook, stuffed with memorabilia about Trish and Henry. They switch when Nikki passes over the recipe and she begins flipping though the book, looking at the pictures that Abby's painstakingly put together. Thanking Nikki for the now, not-so-secret recipe, Abby takes the book and heads to the newspaper office to pick up an article she needs to finish her masterpiece before the bachelorette party. Ruefully, Nikki tells Abby that she should come to The Cannery for the bachelor party instead. That actually sounds like a good idea to Abby so she half-seriously asks if Nikki needs help, when a familiar voice says he could use a hand.

It's lovelorn Jimmy, hauling a delivery of fresh seafood onto the counter. Both girls just stare and Jimmy smirks at the crate, "Is it because I have crabs?" Nikki looks as disgusted at the joke as I am, and Jimmy gives a "tough room" whistle before an extra comes to take the crate away. Abby just rolls her eyes and smiles at the lovable doof.

Henry's washing up back at the Inn and as he walks out he does a double-take at his fiancee, standing in the room, naked. DRINK! She makes cute about not being able to decide what to wear, but Henry knows better. It's her not-so-subtle reminder to have fun at his bachelor party, but not too much fun. Trish totally does the, "Bachelor party? That's today?" complete with batted eyelash and a "golly-gee I should just get dressed then." Like the entirety of the male viewing audience, that doesn't sit well with Henry so he pulls her to the bed. Like rabbits these two are.

Walking along, Madison asks her mother if spirits are real, if they could be telling Karena bad things. Shea answers that it's all for fun, that it's make-believe, but Madison, pulling the pilfered Tower card from her pocket, doesn't seem convinced. Back inside, Karena's looking at the list of birth dates Shea provided. When she and the camera fix on Abby's name, a drop of blood falls on the card. The spirits have given Karena a bloody nose. Gasp!

…SLICE! Titles, “One by one…”

Outside The Cannery, Jimmy's admitting he has a hidden agenda. "In giving me a ride, or delivering crabs?" Abby asks. He wants to apologize for Shane being a psycho, and Kelly's death. He wants her to enjoy her time back on the island. Abby smirks, then asks him if he really wants her to have fun. That would be the general gist of what he just said, Abby. With a grin, she says, "Let me drive." Jimmy offers up the keys, and they take off.

Sully is greeting the groomsmen, sans Malcolm, to the "big day" and there's back and forth about the wedding day being the big day for the girls and the bachelor party being the big day for the boys. The adorable dork Booth hints at the all-important question, did Sully find a stripper? The answer is a big yes, but Sully adds the caveat that she's a local girl so they shouldn't get their hopes up. He shushes them when Henry walks up, guess the stripper will be a surprise then, and Henry remarks, "This is my party? Three guys and a cooler of beer? You shouldn't have." They didn't and Sully pulls out a box of something and passes it over to Henry. He opens it to a collection of fish heads (eat them up, yum!) and assorted cut-up parts. In other words, bait. Henry's face slowly lights up like a kid in a candy shop.

Apparently he likes to fish. A lot.

Sully says he's rented a boat, Malcolm's finishing his pitch to Wellington, and even poor seasick Booth is coming. And, apparently, Muffin the blow-up-doll.

Through a window a stone-faced Wellington watches, along with Richard and a very nervous Malcolm who's there to pitch his home-brew beer manufacturing to the pair of potential investors. Aside from being really nervous, Malcolm seems to have done his homework, and passes his info to Richard who begins flipping through it. Wellington asks for the bottom line.  Malcolm gives it. "For one hundred-thousand dollars you can be a majority stakeholder in Sacred Turtle beer."

Harper’s Island 1.04 “Bang” Recap