It's all come down to this.

A cycle of low riders, high fashion, and Kardashian kameos is down to its final episode, pitting a spitfire American against a sophisticated Brit to see which country is the fiercest one of all. Really, it's the only true way that the British Invasion cycle of Top Model could end, the team concept having driven much of the earlier episodes of the cycle. But does the preview give any inclination of who will take home the title?

Not particularly. I mean, it has Laura all over the place, tough in the face of the competition but physically breaking down at some point in the finale. Could it be nerves? Exhaustion? A temporary bug with the worst possible timing? But really, what self-respecting Top Model cycle would be complete without some type of health scare? Exactly. By including the illness in the preview, either they're setting Laura up for a victory, her having overcome illness and a broken home to become America's Next Top Model, or giving her a pretty decent back door out into second place.

The final Top Model runway tends to be extremely over-the-top, having included ghosts, flying, and fairy tales in the mix over the years, but you don't get that sense here. It looks downright demure compared to past runways, a lack of any garish clothing or unusual set pieces really making me curious as to the direction the fashion show will go in. Is Top Model not letting us have the full extent of the runway show? Could they have toned it down and actually let the walking do the talking?

The cycle 18 finale of Top Model airs Wednesday, May 30th at 9:00 on The CW. To catch up on my reviews from this cycle, be sure to check out the America's Next Top Model tag here.

America's Next Top Model: Cycle 18 Finale Preview

Yesterday The CW presented its 2012-2013 primetime schedule to press and advertisers in New York (see photos from the presentation).  Last night, the stars of The CW shows (old and new) came out to celebrate next season.

Stephen Amell and Katie Cassidy were there to celebrate their new superhero show, Arrow (watch a preview), which will be paired with Supernatural on Wednesday nights.  Speaking of Supernatural, stars Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki came to the Upfront presentation for the first time in many years and Jensen was photographed at the party.  The Vampire Diaries cast - including Ian Somerhalder and Paul Wesley - were also seen at the event.

Mamie Gummer and Justin Hartley were in attendance to promote their new show, Emily Owens, M.D. (watch a preview), while former Smallville star Kristin Kreuk and actor Jay Ryan were in town to show off the modern CW take on Beauty and the Beast (watch a preview).

Use the arrows above to browse through photos from The CW's Upfront party.

The CW Upfront Party Photos: Stephen Amell, Katie Cassidy, Ian Somerhalder, Scott Porter & More!

The CW was the final network to announce its 2012-2013 schedule in New York City this week and they brought out their new and returning stars for the presentation.

It's clear that CW president Mark Pedowitz has some big plans for the smaller network.  While The CW isn't a ratings powerhouse by any means, they seem to pay a great deal more attention to other methods of viewing (such as online streaming) to gauge the popularity of its shows.  This is good news for fans of shows like Supernatural, which doesn't get great live ratings, but is clearly a social media and international darling.  For more about their new schedule and shows, click here.

New shows for the network - Arrow, Beauty and the Beast, Emily Owens, M.D., Cult and The Carrie Diaries - signal the return of some former CW stars.  Smallville's Kristin Kreuk is starring in Beauty and the Beast, while another Smallville star, Justin Hartley, is heading to the medical world in Emily Owens, M.D.  Katie Cassidy, who has appeared in Supernatural and the cancelled CW reboot of Melrose Place, will be starring in Arrow with Stephen Amell.  Matt Davis, who has spent a the last few years on The Vampire Diaries, will be headlining his own show at mid-season: Cult.

Updated: Browse through photos from the after-party.

Use the arrows above to browse through some photos from The CW's Upfront presentation, which included a performance by Flo Rida.  We'll add more if they become available.

The CW Upfront Photos: Matt Davis, Kristin Kreuk, Katie Cassidy, Ian Somerhalder and More

There are three things you can count on in life: death, taxes, and Top Model sticking to its formula. Sure, they've added different cycle themes, changed judges, and traveled all over the world, but in the end, Top Model is Top Model is Top Model and has been since its days at UPN.

Until now.

Upon unveiling its 2012 fall schedule this morning, The CW announced a fleet of changes to its lone successful reality program. A Wednesday mainstay, Top Model will be moving to Friday nights, thanks to plummeting ratings for its British Invasion cycle, incorporating social media into panel, and bringing on two new regular figures to replace the departing "faculty". A lot to digest, right?

All of it just gives me mixed feelings, though. The move to Friday makes sense on a lot of levels; the show hit a major decline in cycle 18 and there's no reality-competition series in the 8:00 hour, which could bring a little perk back to the show and help Nikita in the ratings. Plus, The CW has been on a mission to revamp itself after a pretty disastrous spring, so nights like Wednesday needed that extra shot of adrenaline that programming that Arrow and Supernatural can provide. But, hypothetically, what if the moves hurt both nights? Top Model isn't that compatible with Nikita and has proven to be a survivor against American Idol and The X Factor, so is it worth it to risk arguably your most anticipated show and a strong veteran? The reward might outweigh the risk, the possibility of getting a stronger foothold on Wednesday being very appealing, but it seems like The CW could wind up hurting one of its strongest nights in Friday and sinking two of its stronger scripted fare in the process.

The social media aspect of cycle 19, meanwhile, has me cautiously intrigued. The network mentions that there will be voting during the week on CWTV.com beginning May 24th, fans choosing their favorite photos from the most recent photo shoot and having their voice be heard at panel. While that's not a problem, the amount of influence that fans have is a little too opaque for me; for example, what if a girl just blows away the competition every week online? I'm talking 40-50% of the votes every time, a true fan favorite - would they be more apt to forgive a wonky photo from her, knowing that an elimination would make the fans upset? Too much influence is pandering, too little makes this just lip service, so it'll be a fine line for the show to tread.

I do like the idea of having video/text comments from fans making it on the show during the airing, but that feels like another cut that could be online. Have the regular, untouched version play on TV, but put the "enhanced" version on CWTV.com, perhaps? And how would video be implemented into the show without it taking over and becoming a disturbance? I like Top Model, but Total Request Live: Top Model Edition doesn't sound that appealing.

I'm not familiar with the new judge and creative consultant, so, again, we'll have to wait and see. Male model Rob Evans will be joining the panel as the third judge, sitting in the chair occupied by Nigel since cycle 2. In looking up information on him, I noticed two things: 1) he's cute and 2) he's young. Very young. Younger than me and I'm in my early 20s. Having someone that early into their career and active in the fashion world could be a good thing, as he could impart wisdom on what it's like to start out and whatnot, but I don't know if he has the klout to hang with Kelly and Tyra. Kelly is a ridiculously successful PR maven and Tyra is a former supermodel and current media conglomerate that will have her own theme park by 2020; judging just by credentials, Rob feels like a guest judge with a regular seat. I could be completely wrong and he could be the most eloquent, knowledgeable mentor in Top Model history, but I fear that he hasn't had enough time in the fashion world to properly be able to advise anybody else on having a long-lasting career.

Though no new runway diva coach extraordinaire was named, we do have a new creative consultant in Johnny Wujek, stylist to the likes of Katy Perry and Wonder Girls. I don't know how much experience that he has doing what Mr. Jay did, so the pick has me a little curious. Knowing what looks good on a girl's body or making kooky music videos is one thing, but Top Model has kooky done and done. It wears kooky on its chest proudly, so Johnny'll have to bring a unique perspective and vision to the photo shoots to become a valuable asset to Top Model. Can he do high fashion? How does he get along with clients? Will he have more of a say than Mr. Jay did in the styling of the shoot? I'm keeping an open mind going into cycle 19, so for now, let's wait and see before jumping to (too much) judgment.

Unfortunately, the rumor that Tyra was thinking about hiring bloggers proved to be false, delaying my inevitable rise to the Top Model panel (y'all know it's coming) by at least another cycle. Until then, Top Model might look like a completely different show in the fall and I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. A change can be great, but none of the moves that Top Model has made (or have been for Top Model) have inspired much in the way of confidence in cycle 19. It could turn out to be the move to reinvigorate the show for another few cycles or it could be the final blow to a once-successful franchise. Either way, I'll be watching. Join me, won't you?

Top Model airs Wednesdays at 9:00 on The CW. You can check out my review of last night's episode here.

Will you be watching Top Model once it moves to Fridays? Are you familiar with the new judge or creative consultant? Is incorporating social media a wise idea?

America's Next Top Model: On The Change Heading into Cycle 19

The final network has announced its 2012-2013 schedule during Upfronts week.  This morning, The CW unveiled its fall primetime schedule, which heralds the return of veteran shows like Supernatural, 90210 and The Vampire Diaries, as well as the premiere of Arrow, The Carrie Diaries and Beauty and the Beast.

There seems to be a few scheduling changes with the schedule, with Beauty and the Beast being given the coveted spot after The Vampire Diaries.  Unsurprisingly, Arrow has been paired up with Supernatural, thus taking over Smallville's spot as its lead-in.  But, somewhat surprisingly, Supernatural has been moved out of Friday nights and onto the Wednesday night schedule.  The move makes sense when you consider the fact that The CW would have been unlikely to premiere a new show like Arrow on Fridays and seems to be a promotion for Supernatural.  It's rare that shows are moved out of the Friday night spot.

90210 has moved back to Monday nights as the lead-in for Gossip Girl, which means it's switching nights with Hart of Dixie.  Nikita remains on Fridays, but shifts to Supernatural's old spot at 9:00 p.m., and is now joined by America's Next Top Model.  The CW has also confirmed that this will be Gossip Girl's final season (which will consist of 11 episodes).

Expect season premieres to occur in October, not September.  Networks are starting to get smarter about having fewer reruns, which means pushing back season premiere dates, as well as staggering them.

The Carrie Diaries and Cult will be held until mid-season, with Cult's premiere date and time to be announced later.

MONDAY

8:00-9:00 PM 90210
9:00-10:00 PM Gossip Girl (final season)
(The Carrie Diaries premieres January, 2013)

TUESDAY

8:00-9:00 PM Hart of Dixie
9:00-10:00 PM Emily Owens, M.D. (new series) - watch a trailer and clip

WEDNESDAY

8:00-9:00 PM Arrow (new series) - watch a trailer and clip
9:00-10:00 PM Supernatural

THURSDAY

8:00-9:00 PM The Vampire Diaries
9:00-10:00 PM Beauty and the Beast (new series) - watch a trailer and clip

FRIDAY

8:00-9:00 PM America's Next Top Model
9:00-10:00 PM Nikita

Cancelled shows from last season include The Secret Circle and Ringer.

The CW: 2012-2013 Primetime Schedule & Previews for New Shows

You guys, this is basically my relationship with Tyra at this point:

I may not be a pretty blonde teenage girl and she may not be a ghost-faced killer hellbent on my demise (...that I know of), but I'm beginning to think that Bankable Productions has been keeping an eye on me since I began trashing covering Top Model in cycle 16. How else do you explain yet another facet of an article I wrote about the show ending up making it...onto the show? First, that horrible, horrible villain toyed with me, eliminating contestant after contestant that I either loved or thought had the competition on lock (right after I wrote about them!) to let me know that she was coming for me. Now that I've spent a good three cycles cowering in the corner, fearing for my life (and the possibility of an ice-blonde makeover in my future), it looks like she's trying to win back my trust through flattery and inclusion of an idea I had to improve the show back in cycle 16. Y'know, before the actively, tauntingly awful all-star cycle and the current cycle, which has shown improvement but not quite climbed into the "legitimate good TV" arena yet.

What idea has Tyra lifted from me now? Why, the idea to have the go-sees, like, mean something. Specifically, I suggested that one of Top Models annual traditions, the international go-sees, should have greater value attached to them to reflect the real world of modeling. On last night's episode, they did just that, with both a monetary value (1000 HKD) and a job (face of "Nude is Rude" campaign for one year) attached. These girls are going to have to go out into the real world and book work, so an episode like this, with real life incentives and networking, felt like the type of preparation they should be getting from day one. Go-sees typically produce one of the strongest Top Model episodes in their respective season and "Jez Smith" continued that trend, putting the focus all on the modeling and the actual jobs themselves. I initially had a poor reaction to the guides, considering the fact that they wouldn't have one in real life, but in terms of competition and TV, it evened things up. No girl was in danger of getting lost or not making it to every show and it took the episode up a notch as a result. I mentioned earlier in the cycle that Top Model can be a capital-R Reality show a lot of the time, putting the emphasis on stuff other than the actual modeling, but the introduction of the guides, reminiscent of cycle 2, was a nice move to pull back.

And waiting until the top three to pull out go-sees gave the episode a little more focus. Granted, I like the cuckoo six-girls-for-their-lives go-sees of past cycles, but with only three remaining, you got more of a feel for each visit and how each girl was doing. The lower the number of girls on Top Model, the more they should be focusing on this type of stuff, exposing elements of the fashion scene that we don't get to see often and that the girls will be dealing with soon.

I wasn't doing backflips over the photo shoot, though. I mean, it wasn't anywhere close to being bad, but it just didn't produce any truly exciting photos. The better Top Model episodes in cycle 18 have put the focus on shape and movement, so confining three talented girls in a box with a poofy skirt didn't allow for any type of dynamic moments to occur. I did like the fact that it was an actual ad campaign for something tangible and that they had the client at the shoot, but it's top three and it's time to go out with a bang. Top two is reserved for Cover Girl and fashion shows and having the final photos be overly photoshopped, stiff perfume ads felt a little underwhelming. I don't need them to break out a ridiculous shoot just 'cause or anything; I just needed to feel the excitement of final three and the culmination of everything they've absorbed in the competition to be allowed to run free. The shoot, seemingly made for Sophie in its doe-eyed foo-foo-ness, did make Laura have to pull another trick out of her bag, which was good and bad. Laura's very, very comfortable pulling the vampy, edgy card and doing a 3/4 back bend in order to hand it to you, but it's felt like she's went to that well a few too many times. Having to rein in all the sexy, something I do on a daily basis, made her come up with something else, likely the reason she was saved. Had it been another challenge that let her move around and work her body, I'm not sure she would have had enough usable, different enough frames to move forward in the competition.

However, the elimination of Annaliese was pretty telegraphed. If you're going to take the time and effort to make the entire cycle about Britain v. America, even if the themed photo shoots petered out around halfway through, the final two is going to be one Brit and one American. Once Eboni and Alisha got the hell out of dodge, by force or by choice, it became clear that Laura would represent Team Amurrica in the finale and there's no way in the world they would have eliminated Sophie over Annaliese. At all. That kind of sucked a little drama out of the episode, making panel and all the hand wringing done by the judges pretty irrelevant. Personally, I think that while Laura might have higher highs in her portfolio, her tepid runway walk and one-note performance in the shoots should have gotten her the boot. There is definitely talent there and I think she could be very good one day, but her personality is abrasive, her walk is insecure, and she doesn't inspire. She's willing to be pretty-ugly and try weird stuff, a true asset to a model, but it feels like a lot of the praise that she gets is due to potential more than performance. Laura looks like a model and the judges are going to eat that up, excusing behaviors in her that they've critiqued in others.

Top Model had one of the better episodes of cycle 18 in "Jez Smith". It treated them like adults, immersing them deeper in the fashion world through a paid challenge and client-assisted photo shoot. Rather than put all its eggs in the WACKY ANTICS!!!!!!!!!! basket, it actually, like, put on a pretty respectable modeling show. And you can't be mad at Top Model sobering up, putting on a fresh pair of panties, and turning on its professional side. While I don't agree with the elimination, I do think that this final two has been pretty inevitable since Kyle and AzMarie got their walking papers and really, what can you do? I would offer a suggestion to that (seemingly) rhetorical question, but I'm afraid Tyra might hear me.

This smize is coming from inside the house...?

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"Money is a great incentive for me."
-"You've gotta shimmy with me."
-Final Call Out Order: Sophie, Laura, Annaliese (eliminated)
-I find it interesting that the week Tyra posted an essay about Vogue banning anorexic-looking models from its pages a girl that didn't "look like a model" went home.
-Was it just me, or did Annaliese's costume at Gregory Derham read a little...racially-based? Bananas? Really?
-Laura looked horrific at panel. The scarecrow hair, the black onesie - that's less quirky Top Model, more homeless lady down the street.
-From my notes: "WIND MACHINE YES MA'AM". If at all possible, I'd review the cycle 18 finale with a wind machine blowing my hair every which way. Make it happen, TVOvermind.
-Next week on Top Model: It's the increasingly superfluous highlights show, followed by a finale that included Gaga-style hair bows and Laura physically breaking down.

America's Next Top Model 18.11 "Jez Smith" Review

The CW has officially canceled two of their three freshman dramas while renewing a veteran for one final moment in the sun.

Two of the moves weren't terribly surprising. The cancellation of Ringer had been apparent going back midseason, thanks to an extended hiatus, bleeding viewership, critical drubbing, and a pre-May burn-off to make room for The L.A. Complex. If that wasn't enough, star Sarah Michelle Gellar recently announced her pregnancy with her second child, thereby putting to rest any of the potential optimism for a second season of Ringer.

Gossip Girl may not be the force it once was in the ratings, but it does extremely well in other money-making avenues (e.g. iTunes) and The CW could give it one final push a'la One Tree Hill. (One Tree Hill had a final season of 13 episodes, compared to the 11 for Gossip Girl, according to Vulture.) There's no word on when the final season will air, but this could be the launching pad that The Carrie Diaries needs to assume Gossip Girl's place as The CW's resident urban sophisticate soap.

But the cancellation of The Secret Circle is surprising. Granted, it slipped in recent weeks after an okay performance behind The Vampire Diaries, but it didn't look to have slipped far enough to be canceled. The final episode, which aired last night, served as a pretty good series finale, so I can't find it in myself to be too upset. The only thing is that the recent surge in quality, to go along with a solid young cast, only hinted at a show that would have grown into itself in a second season and it's a shame that they won't get the chance to.

Updated Renewals/Cancellations/Pick-Ups: CW picks up five new shows and renews Nikita and Hart of Dixie.  Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries and 90210 were given early renewals.

How do you feel about the Ringer cancellation? Will you be tuning into the final season of Gossip Girl? Did The Secret Circle deserve cancellation?

The CW Cancels Ringer, The Secret Circle; Renews Gossip Girl

Hart of Dixie has become the latest CW series to earn a renewal for next season. The low-key dramedy, set in a small Alabama town, will be back next season for a full season of 22 episodes, all but assuring it a place on the fall schedule.

The show had never been a slam dunk success, but its steadiness and loyal core fanbase showed enough potential for another season. Hart of Dixie often grew from its Gossip Girl lead-in, charming audiences with its distinct tone and undeniable warmth.

The most "logical" move for The CW to make is pairing Hart of Dixie with recently picked up medical drama First Cut, but Dixie's companion will depend on episode orders and the way The CW fits their five new dramas onto the schedule. There isn't anything as WB-centric as Dixie on the network, especially once the show concludes the current love quadrangle they're working on. In the upcoming season finale, for instance, George and Lemon will be getting married or at least trying to, their flirtations and affairs with Lavon and Zoe weighing heavily all around.

And there's also the matter of a thunderstorm and Wade Kinsella, finally ready to talk about the unspoken sexual chemistry he has with Doctor Hart. Hart of Dixie has been teasing out a Wade/Zoe fling/relationship/thing all season and they'll finally have the opportunity to sort things out.

One way or another.

The season finale of Hart of Dixie airs Monday at 9:00 on The CW. You can check out a photo preview of the finale, as well as multiple clips, here and here. The CW will be unveiling its 2012-13 primetime schedule on next Friday.

Updated Renewals/Cancellations/Pick-Ups: CW picks up five new shows and renews Nikita.  Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries and 90210 were given early renewals.  Ringer and The Secret Circle were canceled, while Gossip Girl was renewed for an 11 episode season.

Are you excited for more Hart of Dixie next season? Who do you think Zoe should end up with? Which of the new CW shows would you pair it with?

Hart of Dixie Renewed for Season 2 by The CW

The concept of family takes on multiple meanings on a show like The Secret Circle. The main catalyst for everything we're seeing lies with the biological families of the center, whose deaths and mysterious secrets have shoved the circle together and forced them to figure things out on their own. There's a lot of underlying abandonment issues floating around Chance Harbor, understandably leading each member of the circle to look toward one another in hopes of establishing a true connection. Though they all have (or had) somebody there, the experiences that Jake, Adam, Diana, Faye, Melissa, and Cassie have had together have bonded them together for good, binding or no binding. Their commonalities, both in terms of perspective and home dynamic, have formed some type of secondary family, something that each of them has been craving, magic or not magic.

In "Family", the first season finale of The Secret Circle, those connections were explored, both for the good and the bad, in an episode that was, to put it bluntly, bad ass. I mean, The Secret Circle has not been that shy about putting dark imagery out there, but the heightened stakes, level of violence, and spooky ending montage all elevated it to another level. Getting a clearer idea of what exactly Blackwell was aiming for in his formation of the circle, for instance, gave the episode (and the series) the first completely unfiltered look at the danger they'll be facing from here on out; until now, we had only gotten bits and pieces of intel, cobbled together with chewing gum and a prayer. But now, we know that Blackwell is basically magical Hitler, wanting to rid the world of all non-Balcoin witches, four other Balcoin children waiting in the wings to come to Chance Harbor. I've had my problems with the Blackwell/Balcoin angle in the past, but the whole "you thought that you got rid of me - just wait til you see what's next" tone of the final confrontation between him and his daughters packed quite a punch. It provided a look at the next enemies the circle will have to deal with, something a little less certain now that they're unbound. Tasting that kind of freedom and independence after so much time being locked down can be intoxicating, particularly to teenagers with magical powers, so they're going to have to find a way to come together once more.

But the thing I loved about the montage was Adam, dear (former) wet blanket Adam. I like Adam when he's not wallowing in his man-pain over Cassie and in "Family", he kind of killed it. He got a little passive-aggression out on Jake, he had a (very tender) moment with Melissa outside the ferry, and he may have gotten in too deep with the crystal skull. That last thing intrigues me most exactly because of Adam's wet blanket-ness; he tries so hard to be good and just and a nice person, that getting in contact with dark magic can take his character to a lot of pretty fun places. He'll have an identity outside of his dating partner and Thomas Dekker can finally tap into the menace and villainous rage that he had earlier in the season upon being possessed. This is a way to keep the circle on its toes and from becoming too complacent, a pretty classic horror twist (you think you're safe, but one of the good guys has turned sick/evil) that could give the show a lot of energy in the second season.

Plus, this makes his increased connection to the rest of the circle that much more important, as Adam-circa-episode-one going evil would've been bad but not that bad. Not uncontainable or truly breaking. But Adam-circa-now, after forming a friendship with Melissa and getting on terms with Cassie and Diana, will have a major impact going forward, letting another character aside from the Balcoins fight the temptation of dark magic while never letting the circle feel safe.

The only thing that didn't fully work for me was the Charles plot, unfortunately, and it's not even the plot itself that I had a problem with. Having him, emotionally wounded and utterly repentant, make a sacrifice for Diana by taking on Eben's demons made for one of the most striking, gut punch-type moments of the series thus far. It was a heartbreaking piece of collateral damage from Blackwell's master plan, another chip at the little emotional (and familial) stability that these kids have and a way for Charles to come full circle. He took away Cassie's mother in the pilot and through his remorse, tries to save her, his daughter, and their friends through giving his own life. Death hasn't been as big of a deal on The Secret Circle, but this had the impact, both in terms of plot and resonance, that no other deaths have had thus far. So why did they have Charles survive? That took so much of the weight of the scene on the ferry away; the image of Charles, face literally crawling with demons, hurling himself into the water for his daughter gave the episode a major jolt, but that jolt is a little gentler now. And that's a shame, because the show should be striving for this type of forward movement, this type of danger lurking around all corners, this type of true definition of the word family.

And to have Diana not even react to Charles giving himself up for her didn't sit quite right with me. Obviously, the girl had just channeled dark magic and killed her biological father, but still, you'd think that something like that would have stayed with her or been worth a comment. A tear. A confession. Something, anything more than we got - I get that her making the choice to go with Grant across country was motivated by the "death" of her father, but you didn't get to see the impact that the realization had on her and it felt like a missed opportunity.

They say that you can't choose your family, but that's not necessarily true. Family's not just the people that you share a genetic code with; family is those that you've shared experiences, the joy and pain of life, with and have grown with accordingly. The circle has went from a ragtag group of witches that can't really stand one another to a wounded, vulnerable family that has had to have one another's back more than any of them expected. They don't always get along, nor do they make the right decisions, but the circle have proven that through working together and harnessing their powers, anyone that tries to take them down with have to put up a truly monstrous effort. And considering the quality of the final few episodes of the season, the idea of watching the circle grow even tighter and more confident in their abilities for another season sounds pretty darn great.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"Oh, I am so back."
-"Guys, there'll be plenty of time to cry when we get out of here."
-"You do realize you're full of demons, amongst other things?"
-"Then who? Ex-witch hunter? Evil princess number two?"
-The ending montage was set to a song by Silversun Pickups called "Skin Graph" that everyone on planet Earth should buy. And I do mean everyone.
-I still think that Grant is something bad. I don't know what, but I can't completely trust him.
-I really liked seeing the return of kick ass Faye on the ferry.
-This could have pretty easily served as a series finale, thanks to the allusions to the boat fire, the Blackwell revelations/defeat, and the haunting final image of the four Balcoin children.
-Another thing I didn't quite like: the Blackwell/Cassie/Diana scenes at the house got a bit exposition-y, but I liked the content.
-Thanks to all of you who read, commented on, or shared any of my reviews this season. Here's to hoping we can all gather in our circle come fall and do this once again.

The Secret Circle 1.22 "Family" Review

Entertainment Weekly is reporting that The CW's upcoming extreme musical chairs game show, titled Oh Sit! (no, really), has gained a third voice to help sort out the madness. Joining Tanika Ray (Extra) and Jessi Cruikshank (Virtuality) is Jamie Kennedy, actor and former WB prankster extraordinaire. Kennedy will serve as a commentator on the action with Cruikshank, while Ray will act as a sideline reporter of sorts.

Kennedy, perhaps best known for writing and starring in Malibu's Most Wanted, is no stranger to the "fifth network", having had The Jamie Kennedy Experiment run on The WB for three seasons. He's currently providing voice work for Fox's The Cleveland Show and Nickelodeon's Fanboy and Chum Chum, with two films in post-production.

Even though something like Oh Sit! sounds ridiculous, it could be a great move for The CW. They'll be implementing more year-round programming, keeping people watching their network during the summer months, while opening up the possibility of different types of programming and more diverse reality programming to come. Thus far, America's Next Top Model is the only reality show that's ever had any footing on The CW and even there, it's started to fall in recent cycles. Now may be the time to experiment, so who knows?

Oh Sit! was ordered by the network last fall, a Wipeout-esque take on the classic children's game of musical chairs. Rather than having a large scrum in the middle of an arena over the last remaining chair, the show will have an indoor obstacle course for each contestant to navigate, complete with live band backing. The show begins production next week for a debut later this summer. It'll be another new reality show for the network, which will be premiering Breaking Pointe and The Catalina later this month.

Will you be watching Oh Sit! this summer? Do you like having The CW put out more original programming during the summer? Is Jamie Kennedy a good co-host/co-commentator for something like this?

Jamie Kennedy Joins The CW's Game Show Oh Sit!

Ooh, so that happened.

Top Model, dare I say it, surprised me once again in cycle 18 with how the elimination played out. After nearly a decade on the air (think about that for a second), you'd think that the show had pulled out every trick in the book - every outrageous photo shoot, every casting dynamic, every watercooler shocker designed to send the internet atwitter (on Twitter). But look at you, Tyra Banks, finding a way to freshen things up; following several well-reasoned, understandable boots in a row, Top Model managed to top itself by having a double elimination. They may have had weeks where they've eliminated two models, most notably last cycle and the first episode of cycle 10, but those were either known about in advance or seemed egregiously artificial to the point that it lacked any shock value. Here, though, Alisha quitting came from absolutely nowhere, which took me that much more off guard. Yes, Alisha had expressed doubts about her standing in the competition and was obviously homesick, taking out a lot of negative emotions in her (quite funny) confessionals, but the girl had made it through the bottom two several times already. And since we're already in the top five, you had to assume she'd gut it out until her elimination, but honestly, good for her. If your heart isn't in it, it's not fair to possibly deprive another person of an opportunity at their dream, so snaps for you, Miss Alisha. With the potential she's shown on the show, I think there's a place in the fashion world for her whenever she feels like taking it.

All that aside, I loved that Top Model eliminated Eboni, too. Tyra could have very easily milked that moment for all the emotion it had, one girl sacrificing her place in the competition to save another, and she actually held back and let the result stand. Part of my problem with Tyra in past has stemmed from a need to put on her Oprah hat at the drop of a dime, but darn it, she wore her fashion industry LBD like a champion and I appreciated that.

Aside from a particularly strong panel, "Nicholas Tse" improved from last week's effort, blending in-house drama with a reasonable challenge and a dramatic photo shoot for a pretty fun episode. The challenge, a acting challenge with a choreographed action scene, may not have been that far into the realm of actual fashion work, but it provided the catalyst for a lot of good stuff in the episode. For one, Laura's kind of a hussy, using her feminine wiles to charm Tse during their training and going as far as doing a cheesy "seductive" hair flip during her scene. Her sex talk was already reeking of "okay, am I shocking you now? how about now? am I edgy yet?", so I couldn't be too shocked that she mentioned her desire to sleep with Nicholas during her challenge reward (a cameo in his music video), but come on. Laura didn't do the worst in the challenge (hi Eboni), but she didn't win based on the technicality of her fight scene, let's say. You can't flirt your way to the top, win a pretty darn cool reward, and then get mad at people getting mad at you for circumventing the process. By any means necessary, I suppose, but I think if Laura didn't lean into the sex talk with every inch of her slender frame, there wouldn't have been that much of a backlash. She took a trait that annoyed the rest of the house and pretty much used it to win a challenge before rubbing it in their faces afterwards, which I can see being incredibly infuriating. If I'm fighting for something and another person gets it based on something other than ability, particularly if its something as tacky as flirting for it, I'd be as upset as some of the girls here were.

Being a naturally flirty or sexual person is one thing, but you have to be able to turn that part of yourself off while still being charming and pleasant in a professional setting. Laura didn't and it made her look rather bad as a result.

The shoot, meanwhile, took place on Macau Tower, 764 feet in the air. In the wind. And the rain. I'm already shaking with fear. I tend to not be that into extreme photo shoots, since they're more about nerve than modeling ability, but I kind of enjoyed this one. Unlike last week, the models had more free reign (ha) on what they could do, the harness helping each girl develop more shape to her posing and more interesting angles to work. As a result of that freedom, the overall quality of the chosen photos was booted up, though the styling ended up being a little sleeker than last week. (And what's with the constant headpieces this cycle?) Personally, I found Annaliese's dynamic Greek-archer-in-the-21st-century to be the top photo of the week, as she came more out of her element and really upped her game. Anna tends to be a very bubbly, cutesy model, so having that power and toughness to her posing (and especially her face) was a big step forward in her bid to become a top model. I would feel better about her chances going forward if it weren't for Kelly's weird vendetta against her, but the fact that she's peaking at the right time can only help her confidence both on and off the show. (For a show so into the idea of marketing and branding, you'd think they would encourage Annaliese to be both a presenter and a model, no?) Laura's photo, though very pretty and unique in the bunch, had too many technical problems for me to be as big a fan as I wanted to be. Her angles may have been on-point, but her hands were cliche, her legs had no extension to them, and her neck could have been elongated that much more. I do think, though, that she has a pretty clear path to the finals, as the cycle's theme deems it only fair that a Brit takes on an American for the title.

Top Model actually had a pretty solid episode in "Nicholas Tse", thanks to the genuinely surprising ending that brought the number of ladies down from five to the final three. It had a little fighting, a little fashion, and a little excitement, all rolled into the cracked, multi-colored disco ball that calls itself Top Model. The cycle may not have been able to touch cycle 16's high fashion or cycle 17's balls out lunacy, but it's shown signs of life that have kept my interest in it more genuine, less gawking-at-a-train-wreck. Top Model may be the crotchety great-great-great grandmother on The CW, all wrinkles and endless stories about the good ol' days, but as long as it can bring out some energy in a fairly standard process, I'm more than content to keep visiting.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"Me and my pigtails are going to the top."
-"You walk on the street, you want to hump a pole?"
-"I'm sorry, hands down, I'm hating right now and I don't care."
-"You are a slag. Let's keep it professional here."
-"Are y'all ready to eliminate somebody?"
-"She's lucky a bird didn't land on her elbow."
-Final Call Out Order: Laura, Sophie, Annaliese, Alisha (quit), Eboni (eliminated)
-I loved Alisha's comment about Sophie punching the bad guy and glitter spraying everywhere.
-I wanted to keep a count of how many times Nicholas said "sexy" or some variation of it. It seemed a bit excessive/perv-y.
-Tyra's church voice is kind of everything.
-Am I the only one tired of the constant background reminders for each contestant? We get it - Sophie used to be a struggling waitress, Laura and Eboni come from messed up homes, Alisha loves her family, everybody was gawky as hell as a child. We get it.
-Ms. Jay was giving me Bea Arthur realness in her ensemble. But I liked the bone straight hair.
-Next week on Top Model: The final three go on go-sees in Hong Kong and shoot a campaign for the Top Model fragrance. I wonder who loses their map. (Spoiler alert: it's probably me.)

America's Next Top Model 18.10 "Nicholas Tse" Review

To the naked eye, it seems like George Tucker and Lemon Breeland are a pretty solid couple. Attractive, successful, together for 15 years - they're a constant in the town of Bluebell, a reassuring source of stability in a town that prides itself on celebrating the past. The thing is, though, Hart of Dixie viewers have known about the issues that run through their relationship for a while, from George's affection for Zoe to Lemon's indiscretion with Lavon and general insecurity. Though it looked like the couple had made it through arguably the roughest time in their relationship recently, a preview from the Hart of Dixie finale suggests otherwise.

It may just be normal pre-wedding jitters that triggered George's nightmare, though it feels like the ceremony is happening too soon after their latest reconciliation. George and Lemon may be on better terms and on the road to being ready to wed; they still have to work out the major problems in their relationship before getting married makes sense. And I don't think they've done that, as George's dream suggests that the specter of Zoe and Lavon is still haunting him to this day. Perhaps he's not as over the thought of Zoe Hart as he might have suggested?

During the thunderstorm that threatens to mar the wedding day to end all wedding days, Wade and Zoe end up in a barn, soaking wet and at one another's throats. I don't think that what Wade says, about how his attraction stems from her unattainable status, is completely accurate; he's reached out, multiple times, to Zoe on much more than a physical level. Yes, they have great physical chemistry, but how he acted at the Bluebell Battle, for example, showed that it's not (all) about getting into her pants. Wade has kind of shutdown when it comes to putting himself out there for Zoe, thanks to being rejected/interrupted so often, so it may be up to her to take the lead and clear the air.

The season finale of Hart of Dixie airs Monday at 9:00 on The CW. To check out another clip and pictures from the finale, be sure to click here.

Do you think George is ready to be married to Lemon? Is Wade being honest about his feelings toward Zoe? Have you ever been "goat blocked"?

Hart of Dixie Finale Sneak Peeks: George Has a Nightmare and Wade Fesses Up

One of the ways that The Secret Circle has improved in recent weeks is that different combinations of group members have been used to keep things fresh. The show has several well-worn pairings (Adam/Cassie, Faye/Melissa) that have provided the backbone of much of the season, but it's been nice to see, say, Adam and Melissa forming a friendship or Cassie and Diana having to learn to get along. Not every member of every group of friends hangs out with every person there, but for a while, you had to wonder what made these people friends in the first place.

In another preview for the (season?) finale of The Secret Circle, another new combination makes its debut: Melissa and Jake. But it's not a time or bonding or friendship for the two, as they're concentrated on exploring the ferry, wherein they find the "kidnapped" Faye. At the end of last week's episode, the circle's resident vixen was taken by the witch hunters; however, there was no intention given to why exactly it happened. Was Eben going to use her as a bargaining chip? And if so, what did he want? The crystals? Whatever his reasoning, the kidnapping worked, with Melissa and Jake getting captured after running into Faye on the ferry.

The circle is supposed to become unbound in the finale in a bid to track down Faye, but Melissa, Faye, and Jake didn't exactly seem that powerful in the clip. Eben's power, gained from The Demon Formerly Known as Nick, may be too much for the three to handle, especially in sneak attack form, but there could be something else there. Perhaps they're still bound and didn't have the opportunity to use any magic; but why, if they're heading to the ferry, wouldn't they do some type of protection spell to help themselves safe? Eben's incredibly dangerous right now and it'd only make sense, particularly if two of them go out alone.

The season finale of The Secret Circle airs Thursday at 9:00 p.m. ET/PT on The CW. Watch a sneak peek below and use the arrows above to browse through photos for the finale.

If you missed my review over last week's promising penultimate episode, you can check it out here.

The Secret Circle Season Finale Preview: Melissa and Jake Sneak Onto the Ferry

After weathering the storm brought on by an affair, Lemon and George now have to weather another storm - a thunderstorm.

On their wedding day.

The season finale of Hart of Dixie, titled "The Big Day", finally brings us the wedding of the long-time loves, talked about since pretty early in the season. In the preview, though, you don't see them getting actually married. A day that could (and should) have been all smiles and cake instead has major black clouds hanging over it, thanks to the recent tenuous times between the would-be bride and groom. Lemon and George may be on more positive terms now, but there could always be a last minute setback that undoes whatever progress they've made in the last couple of episodes. Particularly when it comes to Zoe and the weird gray area that her friendship/relationship with George is in.

But Zoe may finally be giving in to her attraction to Wade, thanks to the storm stranding the two in a barn. She's spent so much time chasing after George, the man that fits the mold of who she's "supposed" to be with, that the obvious chemistry that she shares with Wade had been ignored. Until now. Once she has to actually have a conversation with him with no distractions, no George, no Tansy, Zoe'll be forced to face the thing that she's tried to run from. Wade may not be the 5-star professional that George is, but he brings her more down-to-earth and sometimes you need somebody there to ground you. Also, Wade's recent personal growth and aspirations to own his own business are at least partially motivated by impressing Zoe.

The thing is, though, will Zoe let herself see what's been so clear to everybody (except her) since about episode two?

The season finale of Hart of Dixie airs Monday at 9:00 on The CW.

Do you think Lemon and George should be getting married? Should Zoe end up with George or Wade? Watch a preview below and use the arrows above to browse through photos.

Hart of Dixie Season Finale Preview: Will Lemon and George Get Married?

The kidnapping of Faye by the witch hunters punctuated an exciting, well-paced penultimate episode of The Secret Circle. The most powerful member of the circle, aside from Cassie, Faye getting taken down shows that nobody is safe and that the enemies of the circle are closing in on them. Now that every crystal is in their possession, the crystal skull is now in play, but will it be used?

In the preview for the season finale of The Secret Circle, titled "Family", the circle has to unbind itself in order to save Faye. Problem is, once everyone experiences the feeling of individual power after being handcuffed for so long, it may be hard to have them working together again. The circle being bound kept any altercation verbal and every member safe, so any tension is now accompanied by the threat of magic, particularly Adam's antipathy toward Jake and Cassie's volatile relationship with Diana. Can they manage to use their individual powers for good before they self-destruct?

And what role does Blackwell play in all of this? He can't be happy that the circle he engineered in 1995 is not under his control anymore, both in terms of being unbound and Cassie finding out his true nature. The finale may be the first time that the filter completely comes off of Blackwell, which could mean bad things for the circle (and Charles) if there's no way to fight back against him. The thing is, though, with Cassie reveling in her dark magic in the preview, could she conceivably turn her back on the circle and join her father?

The season finale of The Secret Circle airs Thursday, May 10th at 9:00 on The CW. If you missed my review of last night's episode, which featured time travel and a creepy junkyard, you can check it out here.

The Secret Circle Season Finale Preview: What Happens When the Circle Becomes Unbound?

How do you follow up a series-best episode? It's not the worst problem in the world to have, hitting your creative stride and subsequently raising your game, but it is a problem that could trip up any promising show. You want to continue growing and expanding the central plot while doing the things that have worked well for you recently, a sort of one-foot-on, one-foot-off approach to storytelling that could be the difference between propelling forward and narratively stalling out. After a season heavy on promise and light on delivery, The Secret Circle peaked last week with "Traitor", a funny, suspenseful episode of television that stacked their typically interesting visuals with equally impressive plotting and a real sense of danger. But could they keep it up on this, the penultimate episode of their debut season?

In a word, yes. "Prom" may not have hit quite the highs that "Traitor" did, but it nonetheless felt like a leap forward in both quality and momentum from where the series had been earlier in the season. The cliffhanger from "Traitor", the discovery that Nick was still alive, brought a lot of tension to the episode, due to the fact that there was something not quite right about him post-resurrection. His mere presence shook Melissa and Jake up, as to be expected, and the wild-eyed glare that he had in his eyes made every second of screen time the character got crackle with uncertainty; though a part of me was disappointed that Nick (or, the demon still inside Nick) met his untimely end, his death brought a lot of (needed) change and closure for Melissa. Admittedly, I thought that The Secret Circle would play on the typical "Melissa as victim" plot that has been trotted out multiple times already, so be still my heart that she was the one that put the dagger in Nick to save Jake, using another sharp object to have a go at her lingering feelings for her former love. It was such a cathartic moment to see her stand up for herself and make the choice to live instead of wallow in her pain, possibly a sign that the Melissa we see going forward will have just a bit more inner strength to her after doing some major growth here. On a series as centered on the past as The Secret Circle, it can be hard to look to the future, but Melissa may have adjusted her focus just in time.

Part of the fun of "Prom" came from the exploration of the past, since Diana and Cassie got to travel back in time to find the other crystal. In the process, they found their mothers right before the boat fire, stirring up a lot of old feelings and finally proving to Cassie that Blackwell cannot be trusted. The witches spend so much time talking about, worrying about, and reading about what happened in 1995 that using tricks like they did tonight breaks up the monotony and gives us something visual to go by. Similar to the device that Cassie used to get into Jake's memories, the spell she did tonight allowed us to get a feel for what the parental circle was like, a firsthand account of their dynamics and what could have been going through their mind at the time of the fire. (Plus, the emotional wounds of their deaths made everything about the time travel more personal, more painful, more human.) It's especially important to get this kind of exposure to that period in time due to Blackwell's untrustworthy actions and demeanor, which became clearer after everything that Amelia told Elizabeth. Blackwell came into town on some Father of the Year business, but in each proceeding episode, he's uncloaked his manipulative streak, his evilness, his half-truths, to the point where the real John Blackwell seems to be making an appearance after all. (His psychological torture of Charles, mirroring the pilot and demise of Amelia, was awesomely creepy.) And Cassie now knows about Blackwell engineering his own personal circle in each of them, which will make next week's finale that much more tense.

The cliffhanger at the end of the episode, with Faye being abducted by Eben, hit especially hard because the Faye of "Prom" had dropped her guard some. Not to the point where she cut down on her snark or anything - just to the point that she allowed herself to be a little vulnerable and to want a romantic prom night, complete with a limo and champagne. Though I love the humor that Faye can bring to even the dourest episode of The Secret Circle, it's nice to bring her down-to-earth once in a while and have her be just Faye, not a one-liner machine or an aloof bad girl. I liked that they let her and Jake have a moment together, as their unresolved past had come up again thanks to it being prom-time, and that they ever so slightly deepened their connection beyond the physical. Granted, their physical chemistry is just ridiculous (in the best way) and you can see why they're drawn to one another otherwise, but stuff like Jake's apology in the junkyard takes it from being an aggressive booty call to something a little more real and tangible. Which goes back to why Faye's abduction made such an impact - she's arguably the strongest member of the circle (that isn't Cassie), but we just spent an hour with her struggling to open up about having her feelings hurt.

The Secret Circle may not have touched "Traitor", but they did pretty damn good with "Prom", a promising episode that found the circle working together well and not falling into the dim decision-making of previous episodes. It was a well-paced, appropriately dark bit of television that had the magic coming off about as good as it had been all season, a lot of emotionally sincere material (Melissa fretting about the circle's lack of normalcy was kind of poignant), and one heck of an ending. A good portion of the plots in "Prom" focused on the idea of confronting the past, with Faye and Jake coming to terms with their rocky past, Melissa putting a metaphorical stake in the idea of Nick, and Charles being haunted by his actions in the pilot. The Secret Circle may have only recently put it all together after a rocky past of its own, but if it keeps this type of quality up, it could make a pretty huge leap forward come season 2.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"Looks like our insane standards just got insaner."
-"That look like you're about to invade a small country with nothing but your tortured soul."
-"Way to bring the room down, Cassie Blake."
-"I just pray she doesn't get any of his darkness."
-"Keep playing with that knife in your pocket, people might get the wrong idea."
-"I knew I should have brought demon chasing shoes."
-I'm sure I'm the last to put this together, but am I the only one getting the vibe that Grant is bait that Blackwell has been using to lure in Diana?
-How scary-similar were Amelia and Elizabeth to Cassie and Diana? Great performances/writing there.
-The necklace that Charles gave Diana: what power do you think it has?
-Next week on The Secret Circle: Jake, Melissa, and Adam go after Faye, Blackwell tries to get Diana and Cassie to unleash the crystal skull on the witch hunters, and Dawn and Charles might be able to get their powers back.

The Secret Circle 1.21 "Prom" Review

Can we talk about how Laura is just the worst?

All cycle long, I rode Kyle for how vacant her modeling was and the obnoxious praise she got for being a pretty typical Midwestern white girl, but Laura, that little devil, snuck past me. Of course, she had moments of being a bit of a spaz, seemed to be trying a bit too hard, and didn't appear to be emotionally ready for primetime, but she brought some energy to cycle 18 of Top Model and I liked that. Plus, she turned it out on more than one occasion, which is the ultimate cure-all for most reality show ails. If you do what you're supposed to do (and do it well), a little hiccup in likability can be written off, though not entirely excused. Ironically, though, it took Kyle's last episode for the veil to be lifted and Laura's bitchiness to be broadcast in HD, a nasty, snotty attitude that you hoped was just the product of stress, competitiveness, and lack of sleep.

Judging by tonight's episode of Top Model, the Laura of a couple of episodes ago is the real Laura, as she was kind of a monster here. To the point where you had to wonder about her mental state, as the death of her friend must be hanging over her like a dark cloud of toxicity. Instead of using that tragedy as fuel for her competitive drive (or going home to deal with all the emotions that come with a sudden death), Laura has apparently went to the Jiggly Caliente School for Emotionally Scarred Reality Stars; she's wearing her experience like a loud political button across her heart, wielding the anger and frustration from the pain she endured (both as a child and recently) like a predator about to strike. Laura isn't your typical reality show villain, though. She doesn't give me fame whore vibes, nor do I think she's over-studied in the art of reality bitch-dom; she's uncomfortably damaged and no moderately fierce photo with worms is going to tell me else wise.

Again, I'm not a huge fan of her current target (Eboni), but Laura's sour, aggressive talking heads/comments to the girl are a bit too far, even for something like Top Model, which is ready to embrace conflict wherever it happens.

But it's not like her antics ruined a good episode or anything. "Barney Cheng" had the makings of a great episode - I'm a big fan of the first Top Model international episode, if only for the different visuals and cultural immersion, and the girls headed to the small island of Macau, itself colorful, vibrant, and full of inspiration. And the guest judge, the lauded Cheng, was maybe the best of the season, not shy to give his opinion and constructively criticizing the girls he felt didn't live up to the designs.

But what went wrong?

The challenge, for one, was quite underwhelming, particularly since I liked the concept. The astrologer didn't tell us anything remotely new about the girls and it seemed like he was just fed information from producers about the soft spots to hit (e.g. Alisha and her family) for maximum reactions. I didn't expect him to pull out anything too dramatic in terms of analysis, but I thought there'd be at least some insight to be gained from his readings, as opposed to the vague, Cliff's Notes casting sheet he had to go from. And the fashion part of the challenge felt a bit too arbitrary and not based off of anything we could see. I thought Laura looked nice in her simple black ensemble, but why her and not, say, Annaliese and her incorporation of two elements? What made Laura stand out as much as the astrologer thought she did? Adding a photo element to the challenge, for example, could have given it a little more dimension, as we could see the effect the clothes had on their confidence/aura. As it was, it felt like a very surface-area type of challenge, only barely skimming the local culture and the idea of astrology and the brightness of spirit.

And the photo shoot wasn't much better. Did everyone have to cry or was it just me? When I heard Jay talk about the importance of emotion reading on your face, I thought this could almost be like an acting challenge, as you had to put out some type of palpable emotion without it coming across as over-the-top. I didn't know it had to be a tearful tragedy, but that's what we got, multiple ladies going for a little woe-is-me realness and sucking whatever vibrancy their gorgeous dresses (and Macau itself) had out quite quickly. The idea of the silkworms was better than the execution, as well, because they didn't freak anybody out and they didn't allow for that much movement. Granted, the shoot focused more on facial emotion, but a part of the stiffness that people like Catherine and Alisha had in their photos felt influenced by the fact that they couldn't move as much as they normally could in a shoot. The group as a whole didn't do that hot, with Laura and Annaliese delivering the only two half decent photos in the bunch. Alisha got very insecure and posey, Catherine had no shape whatsoever, Sophie overdid the emotion and made it feel too artficial, and Eboni gave us a one-dimensional no-neck monster.

I have to say, I wasn't feeling Top Model this week. Despite the new digs and all the culture surrounding them, the ladies didn't perform that well, either in the challenge (Catherine's green lipstick), the shoot, or panel (Laura's awful tights + awful nude lipstick, Eboni's straw-like pigtails). Call it adjusting to a major change, call it poor challenge construction, I just call it an off episode that should have popped. Instead of popping, it limply plodded along until the elimination of Catherine, a once-promising contender that couldn't string together more than a couple of good weeks in a row.

Funny, that reminds me of something else.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"Don't get me wrong. I love a mirror."
-"Hide away, 'cause I'm about to wash up some bitches."
-"A f-cking silkworm is sexual to this girl."
-Final Call Out Order: Laura, Annaliese, Sophie, Eboni, Alisha, Catherine (eliminated)
-Seymone talks about her elimination and time on the show with Wetpaint.
-Next week on Top Model: The ladies film an action scene with actor Nicholas Tse and endure wind and rain at their photo shoot. Top Model: Fear Factor strikes again.

America's Next Top Model 18.09 "Barney Cheng" Review

The Secret Circle has been one of those shows that I want to like more than I actually do. Don't get me wrong, I've (mostly) enjoyed hobnobbing around Chance Harbor, giggling at Faye's dismissive one liners and marveling at how (darkly) beautiful the show's visuals can be. I just felt like this was a show that could afford to take it up another notch, its default setting being angst and its danger being fairly minimal, at best. Everything was there for the show's taking - a pretty good cast, themes that could parlay from their "witch self" to their "teenage self", and yes, those darn visuals - but it seemed like The Secret Circle had been unwilling (or didn't know how) to put them all together to fulfill its potential.

Until now.

Although it's had several very good episodes, I think that "Traitor" is the first time that The Secret Circle has touched greatness. Gone, for the most part, are the show's weaknesses, with very minimal Adam/Cassie brooding, more focus to the storytelling, and a genuine surprise or two along the way. I mean, how can you not adore the circle searching for a crystal at the spooky Hudson Fields, a run-down amusement park where the traitor witch had set up camp? The Secret Circle has been rather adept at creating horror movie-esque scenes in the past, adding in that almost-gothic sense of paranoia to send the circle spinning, and this proved to be another case of that happening. The setting and music created a nice dread about the entire final 10 minutes or so of the episode, but every element (the dead witch hunters, the random power, the claustrophobic hideout of the traitor) clicked here.

Pairing the (hormonally charged) Jake and Faye, along with increasingly distant Cassie and Diana, gave two different looks to the scene, the latter duo uncomfortably tense after the revelation that Diana is the other Blackwell child. The fact that she's actively checking Cassie for her poor decision-making and reliance on the dark magic may make her seem like a wet blanket of Adam proportions, but I appreciate the fact that somebody, anybody can stand up to our fearless. Diana's pragmatic and controlled by nature, so she'll naturally clash with the naive heroine; the family lineage issue only gives each of their confrontations that much more complexity.

The traitor, the one dealing magic to Eben and the bee in the circle's bonnet, turned out to be dearly departed Nick, struck down by a demon in the early part of the season. Even though I knew going in that he'd pop up, I was still taken aback by the final reveal, which could potentially be a game changer on a show that needed that little jolt. His return will have major implications, whether they be circle (will he rejoin? if he does, will Jake have to leave?) or Melissa related (how in the world will she react? will this make her regress?), but the main thing is about the possibility of resurrection. If a witch can come back from the dead, this makes Eben that much more dangerous and a near-constant threat to the circle, thanks to his dispatching of Isaac and new powers; additionally, we don't know what had to be done for Nick to come back. It opens up a lot of potentially interesting threads for The Secret Circle and if executed properly, could be the thing that expands the show's universe and ceiling of creative possibility.

The Adam/Melissa side plot, involving liquor and old coins, was a pretty fun way to have two characters that don't interact normally spend some time together. Even though it was under the guise of his relationship (or lack thereof) with Cassie, their drunken discovery of how to clock/uncloak an object and, later, Adam's grandfather's dirty mags brought a little levity that the episode needed. The Secret Circle has a fairly decent record of using humor, particularly having humor flesh out character relationships and dynamics, and "Traitor" did just that, further solidifying Adam and Melissa's friendship and giving them both something to do. They've been given the least to do of the six members of the circle, the former generally pining over Cassie and the latter Faye's sidekick, so putting them together and having them be the ones to figure out where the crystal was made the episode feel more rounded. A tangential Adam/Melissa plot wouldn't be the end of the world as we know it, especially if we still had character moments like in "Traitor", but it was relevant and that only made it better.

I had been a little unsure about the future of The Secret Circle, in terms of where all this is heading, if anywhere. Judging by "Traitor", there's a lot of places that the show could go, which makes me excited for the final two episodes of the season. With Nick back, Blackwell not quite the Ward Cleaver of the supernatural world, and another crystal out there, Chance Harbor could get quite a bit more intriguing going forward. The only question is if The Secret Circle is ready to embrace greatness or let it pass them by.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"This kind of grieving is more my speed."
-"Your daddy got around."
-"We totally got out magic-ed in our own magic house."
-"I was too busy being amazed at it disappearing."
-"I've had at least a dozen nightmares start this way. Most of them involve you."
-"If we live, remind me to download this song."
-"Worst. House. Ever."
-I loved Faye and Jake getting it on after the wake for Jane. There's something about each scene they're alone together that just sizzles.
-I'm a touch less enamored by the adults, if only because I have no idea what Dawn's doing. The Charles/Blackwell rivalry is good, but she seems to be playing both sides of the fence.
-It looks like it's me and you for the rest of the season, guys. I cloaked your other writer, Mark O. Estes, and shan't be uncloaking him until after the finale.
-Next week on The Secret Circle: With the final crystal uncloaked, the circle tries to get their hands on it before anyone else. Meanwhile, Blackwell casts a spell on Charles and Cassie makes a dangerous discovery.

The Secret Circle 1.20 "Traitor" Review

Don't look now, everybody, but there are actually two (not one, but two) Top Models lurking the streets and creating mayhem. Horrifying, I know. The first Top Model is a semi-respectable attempt at putting on a modeling competition; you know that it knows what to do and for the most part, it does just that, never letting its poker face slide for a minute. It's a Top Model we don't see much, but when we do, it's always both a pleasant surprise and random interlude amidst other elements. The second (and default) Top Model is a hot-buttered, corn-starched, girl-I-forgot-to-take-my-anti-psychotics mess; it produces pretty entertaining television, but you kind of wish Top Model would put that mode back in its pants once in a while.

"Georgina Chapman" felt like a combination between the two major aspects of Top Model and it kind of worked because of that. On the serious side, there was another challenge that actually had, like, real world relevance and stuff. I know. I know. It may have played on the "go-see" structure that cycle 18 has already went to, and will go to again, but whenever Top Model sobers up and shows its stuff, it's not a bad little show.   Kelly brought the acidic comments down to a dull roar, providing solid constructive criticism of the runway walks after each of the girls auditioned for the four Dorchester Prize finalists and exemplifying one of my biggest peeves about this cycle. Tyra, if we're going to have major, legitimate runway challenges like this, why isn't there someone there to teach these girls how to walk? It doesn't even have to be Miss J, since Kelly showed that she could very easily lead a runway tutorial for the remaining girls. It makes no sense to me to have multiple catwalk challenges and not offer any tips/minor challenges along the way, especially if they're trying to create an actual top model this time around. You're taking very green models and asking them to teach themselves these building blocks for a modeling career without the interference of anybody else; you can't even use the "they should practice" excuse, because why practice if you're doing it wrong? That only reinforces bad habits and makes improving that much harder, two things you'd think the show would be conscious of not letting happen.

The challenge did provide them with valuable networking for future shows (Alisha, Annaliese, and Sophie, in particular), but all of that's negated by the fact that some of these ladies still don't know how to walk. And that's a problem. Top Model isn't (and shouldn't be) modeling school, but the goal of the show is (or should be) to build these girls up to become Fashion Terminator, something that can't be accomplished by letting them flounder in their own inadequacies for 13 episodes.

While the challenge was pretty respectable and relevant, the shoot played on the typical Top Model silliness that keeps me coming back, throwing the final seven in Hello Kitty couture. The whole candy-coated setting reminded me of the ice cream shoot from cycle 8, though the photo quality mirrored last week. Alisha slaughtered the competition with a powerful, confident photo reminiscent of Xiomara's take on Grace Jones from cycle 2, finally breaking through and producing a fantastic photo. The girl already has personality for days and shines in person, so if she can capture that magic in a still, she could outlast at least several of her competitors. After Alisha, everything ranged from good-but-not-great to pretty terrible, the Brits again managing to take the top 3 slots and 4 of the top 5. Sophie, Catherine, and Annaliese all had very good elements in their photos, but they lacked one thing to push them from good to great and beyond, whether it be facial control, body control, or the BAM, as Kelly mentioned. Team Amurrica, though, just made me sad, even though it's not 100% their fault. Of course, Laura gave us bendy straw realness once more and rightfully got called out for becoming rather one note, but her photo was okay and not worthy of skating in the bottom two. No, not as long as Seymone and Eboni were around; y'all, what were those photos? Granted, the former was pretty much set up to fail with a big ass, overexaggerated head piece, but she still gave the same tired, limp, insecure performance that she's given more weeks than not. And the latter had no shape, no humor, no story - you're wearing an outfit made of Hello Kitty products. Maybe now's not the time to retreat into your shell and give us cold, dead fish couture.

But it was super cocky, super immature Seymone that got the boot, another good move for Top Model. By now in a cycle, I'm fuming at maybe one or two eliminations, but the past three that have been picked off have been shockingly coherent decisions. Seymone was obviously not mentally or emotionally ready to take the next step and become a model, her work during the cycle having been incredibly inconsistent, to put it kindly. Her face may be gorgeous, but she never knew what to do with her body and combine that with the stank attitude and it was her time to go. The thing is, I think that she could have been one of the girls that flourished under challenges that actually taught something and the mentoring that came with it. During the runway challenge, I noticed that her walk really hadn't progressed from any of the other times we've seen it, which is a shame because it looked easily fixable. Once Seymone figures herself out (and gets over herself), I think she could be a solid commercial model, but for now, she's all potential and no push-through.

Top Model had a pretty okay episode that fused together both of its identities in a fairly interesting way. If there's anything I learned this week, it's that people think that Beverly Hills was named after the Beverly Hills Hotel, Sophie's signed to 450,000 agencies in London, and Tyra loves her a good cat pun. Don't we all, Tyra? Don't we all?

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"When is an editorial coming up, for gods' sakes?!"
-"What do I do? I sack it."
-"It was almost like robots on oxycontin."
-"Go 'Do you want some of my lunch?'."
-"Well, hello...kitty."
-Annaliese's exasperation and (really funny) facial expression made "Seymone...she's hard work." that much better.
-Final Call Out Order: Alisha, Sophie, Catherine, Laura, Annaliese, Eboni, Seymone (eliminated)
-What do you guys think about the recent overhaul that Tyra did to Top Model, booting Nigel and the J's?
-The 16 year old (!) photographer made me feel like a failure. When I was 16, I was trying to keep a B in Geometry and worrying about the bully that I had to encounter at lunch, not on national television living my dream.
-I liked the variety of designers the girls auditioned for, if only because it highlighted the value of versatility in a model.
-Next week on Top Model: The ladies go international (spoiler alert: this is their destination), re-create their auras through fashion, and pose in silk while wearing live silkworms. Because, of course that's what they're doing.

America's Next Top Model 18.08 "Georgina Chapman" Review

Before I begin, I would like to dedicate this review of tonight's premiere episode of The L.A. Complex in memory of The CW's defunct Melrose Place reboot, because I would feel all sorts of wrong if I didn't since the show reminds me (and other viewers) of the 2009 cancelled soap. Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, let's begin!

Hailing from Canada and the producers of Degrassi, The L.A. Complex is everything that Melrose Place (2009) could have been and more. You have six P.Y.T.'s trying to make it in the horror show that is Hollywood (which did not get a Disney-esque view tonight) all while handling their personal struggles as well. Sounds familiar? It most certainly does, which fellow TVO writer and L.A. Complex fan Clarissa wrote about in her own review of the new drama. However, there are several aspects that saved The L.A. Complex from becoming a regurgitated "Fame meets Melrose Place" hybrid and they all were in the pilot, which is a damn good sign if you ask me. But before I go deep into what makes this show work, let's take a look at the characters that will surely become household names by the end of its six-episode first season.

Abby (Cassie Steele)

A native Canadian and aspiring actress, who made the saying "down on her luck" a complete and utter understatement. It was as if God and everything else in the cosmos wanted dear old Abby to fail and return to her increasingly annoying boyfriend back home. Despite her tribulations building a fort against her the size of the Great Wall of China, Abby trudged on throughout the pilot. Did she land the big role she was chasing throughout the episode? Nope. And it is here where the show actually worked for me. If Abby had of landed a role of any kind, The L.A. Complex could have been served a summons by the Cliché Police for using a television trope that has been done to death. However, Abby's possible solution to her money problems seems worthy of a bust for the Cliché Police to make.

Tariq (Benjamin Charles Watson)

I don't want to say Tariq serves as the token black character (which another white character awkwardly mentioned during auditioning for a show within the show), but his aspirations to be a rapper (or rap/music producer) was sort of token-ish. I also didn't care too much about how he was treated like the ugly step child by his employers, even though I understood that their role is to fuel the fire in Tariq to show them that he's not just some nerdish looking go-for boy. However, I need my man Tariq to loosen that top button on his shirts, because he's killing me slowly by the sight of them. Plus, isn't it hot as hell in L.A.? You would think he would want to breathe and have some taste of air circulating through his clothes. Just saying...

Nick (Joe Dinicol)

The comedian of the group who, got ripped to shreds by Paul Tompkins and Mary Lynn Rajskub in the most hilarious scene of the night (beside Abby puking on a casting director. Yes, she did that.), Nick got a beating from all corners in the premiere, but despite his comedic material being horrendous to the point of drawing blood from your ears, I still sympathized with guy.

Alicia (Chelan Simmons)

At first glance, Alicia looked as if she had her career and confidence factor in check. As the episode went on, however, it became clear that Alicia is far from being the next Jenny on the Block among the residents of The Deluxe Motel. But Alicia hid her angst from her friends, but not to the point where she degraded them in the process, which makes me like her way more than her neighbor Raquel, who I will get into later. Another reason to like Alicia? She's a stripper by night and could become Abby's only lifeline in helping the poor girl get a job. Yes, the stripper reveal was pretty clichéd in itself, but Alicia wasn't ashamed to take a job at the "shake junt" to make ends meet. See? There's another twist to the "struggling talented youth of Hollywood" tale.

Connor (Jonathan Patrick Moore)

Landing a major role in a pilot without having a guest role elsewhere pitted Connor as the luckiest guy of the Deluxe Motel residents. With that said, looks can be deceiving as our golden boy seems to be lonely now that he's made it to the top, which is hella interesting. Instead of being a jackass and hanging his newfound star status over Abby for more nookie, Connor seems like he is truly a down to earth guy who doesn't buy into the Hollywood image mentality. Could that train of thought become his main problem throughout the series? We can hardly wait to see...

Raquel (Jewel Staite)

Hands down, Raquel will be the mandatory "bitch" of the show, because it is basically her destiny at this point. I love how they didn't have her coming out the box being an Amanda Woodward clone, though, meaning she wasn't trying to wreck shop. That cringe-worthy scene dealing with race that I mentioned earlier featured Ms. Former Teen Star, but while I wasn't offended by Raquel's words (which wasn't completely racist), I knew she had balls of steel for even going there in the first place. I just wonder if her bitchiness will be self-contained with her own stories or if she will lash out at her neighbors for the sheer spite of it. It will also be interesting to see if she will go through with helping the two filmmakers get their film made, only so she can star in it obviously. In other words, Jewel Staite rocks in this role and we want more of Raquel. Please and thank you.

First Impressions

The L.A. Complex works on so many levels, but I'm only going to focus on a couple. As I stated earlier, the show takes some of the tropes (not all) of the struggling Hollywood talent and turns them on their heads. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that The L.A. Complex has done a "Cabin in the Woods" with this genre. It only says that the show is a breath of fresh air that isn't scared to tell people Hollywood can be seriously ugly. No one really came out in the end with a happy ending at the end of tonight's pilot. The only thing close to one was Tariq getting a slimmer of respect from his manager Dynasty, but even still the sample he sent to Drake will be known as Dynasty's instead of his own, which is basically sad.

The L.A. Complex is all about the struggle of trying to make it in Hollywood, not the "when" and/or "happily ever after" part and it's in that sentiment alone where the show will stand out. Between Fame, where your dreams drove you to be the best in a high school environment and Smash, where you've made, but the conflict afterwards involves trying to stay at the top, The L.A. Complex falls in between those two as the 'dark' period between the two. Even though the show isn't that deep, it still manages (in some areas) to tell you that Hollywood can suck on so many levels. And for that, I'm game for what the show has to offer.

If only to fill the void Melrose Place left. And no, I will never get over that.

What did you guys think about the premiere of The L.A. Complex? Should The CW try to keep this show on the air?

Photos: Stephen Scott/Epitome Pictures

The L.A. Complex 1.01 Review - Broke, But Still Dreaming

Top Model is no stranger to having members of panel coming and going in between seasons. In its 18 cycles, the series has had anywhere between three and five judges evaluating the contestants, with the likes of Janice Dickinson, Nole Marin, and Andre Leon Talley having served for multiple years. But never before has there been change like this.

According to Deadline, noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker, photo shoot director Jay Manuel, and runway diva coach extraordinaire J. Alexander are all on the way out after the current cycle. Reportedly, the contracts for all three weren't renewed, bringing to an end the tenure of three long-serving Top Model mentors. Barker had been the lone non-Tyra fixture at panel, having had a seat since cycle 2, while Alexander and Manuel each made their first appearance in cycle 1. There's no indication of how many replacements will be named or when we'll find out the look of the all new Top Model, but I'd bet that we'll hear at least some details for cycle 19 at the CW upfronts in May.

Although they may not have actively contributed that much anymore, it's strange to think of Top Model without Nigel and the two J's. They're remnants of great cycles gone by, each having had good moments in the past, and have been a source of stability in the face of a constantly morphing panel. Miss J., while my favorite of the three, had been eased out following his own judging stint, having made a couple appearances per cycle since then; Barker and Manuel, on the other hand, have had very visible presences on the show since 2004, so the transition should be an interesting one to behold come September.

I understand why it happened, as Top Model ratings have sagged this spring, but I'm wondering if it had to be such a bloodbath. One person leaving, okay, but three? And the only three, aside from Tyra, that have been there since pretty much the beginning? Change is good (and healthy), but change for the sake of change may not be the best thing for the show. Either this move will do wonders to reinvent the show and inject some new energy into things, or it'll be too dramatic of a shift for viewers to take, leading to the beginning of the end of Top Model.

Top Model airs Wednesday nights at 9:00 on The CW. If you missed my review of this week's episode, a mixture of art, anti-bullying messages, and tooching, you can check it out here.

America's Next Top Model: Nigel Barker, Jay Manuel, and J. Alexander Out

Rarely does an elimination of Top Model surprise me. Irritate, befuddle, deflate - sure, all the time. I've been around these parts for going on 18 cycles, so I've seen my fair share of ridiculous ousters. But because I've been with the show from day one, it's made me a little numb to the type of antics they can pull. If you see it, believe it, and it's super-duper outlandish, Top Model has it on top of their to do list, so at this point in the show's life, surprises don't happen all that often.

I'll be damned, then, that I've been surprised at the past two eliminations, but pleasantly so. First, AzMarie got knocked off her high horse for failing to train her tooch and now Kyle, she of the ridiculous overpraise and little desire to be there, gets the boot? Be still my reality loving heart. Kyle's elimination over limited facial expressions and her recent creative backslide made me audibly gasp (loudly), as Top Model is known for keeping their "favorites" around a little longer and putting them in the bottom two as a warning shot. And pitting Kyle against poor Alisha, who can't take a great photo to save her life? You had to think that there was a Mama Tyra lecture coming about stepping it up, giving it your all, and ooh ooh ooh, but those sly, sly judges actually kept the (in my opinion) right girl. Again. Top Model record or Top Model record? I didn't hate-hate Kyle, by any means; I'm sure she's a lovely person in real life, but the constant fawning over her and her obvious shutting down a few weeks ago made me root for her to leave, if only to give a spot to someone more passionate, hungry, and talented. Plus, no Kyle means not much of an emphasis on house drama, with Laura having no person to take out all her crazy on.

Alisha may not be Naomi Campbell right now, but she seems to be more coachable, possesses a bigger personality, and looks better at panel, so it's a case of raw potential triumphing over bland conventionality. On Top Model. For real.

Kyle and, well, the rest of the girls didn't benefit from their photo shoot, though. Meant to be "living art installations", it just looked ripped from the pages of Trashy Socialite Weekly, all tight, bright-colored dresses and table crawling. Plus lots and lots of tooching, which the girls executed to varying degrees of success. I got the concept and what they were going for, but there was no differentiation in the look of the art v. the look of the girls behind them, so it was less high fashion surrealism and more "get this drunk bitch off the table and out of my pie". Having the girls focus more on giving shape this week may have made for a fun change of pace and made sense given their tooch lessons, but there was only one great photo in the bunch (Sophie's predatory Ziggy Stardust realness) with a bunch of good/okay mixed in the bunch. Of the eight photos, the judges and I had the biggest disconnect over Seymone; they may have loved the backbend and all, but I found it to be limited and stale. Not much of a tooch to speak of and she was neither the center of attention in her photo nor modeling H2T, thanks to her lower half being behind the table. Had she been more front-and-center in the photo and done something interesting with her legs, I could see this being a great, great photo, but it just didn't live up to the hype.

But for all this, I have to say that Top Model actually made me feel emotion tonight with their challenge. I know, you're thinking that doing something anti-bullying is very trendy and that Tyra didn't even make an appearance, but I was genuinely touched by them bringing the younger girls in to tell their stories and participate. It may have been manipulative to match the model with a kid with similar issues, but c'mon. Alisha's girl expressing insecurity about the color of her skin, only to be reassured and reminded of how beautiful she is? If you didn't at least get a fierce lump in your throat at that, you may be dead inside and have a heart as black as night. Top Model very rarely does something as unifying and positive as the anti-bullying PSA tonight was, so it was genuinely refreshing to see the team concept of cycle 18 muted for at least a little bit. The inclusion of something like this is a reminder of the power and responsibility that the winner of Top Model has upon taking the crown. They can do almost anything they want with the notoriety and connections they acquire from being on the show and some of that can/could/should go toward uplifting things like promoting a cause near and dear to you. Being in the public eye is more than mountains of cash and lines of coke; it's being able to look back at the person who was in your shoes and give them a leg up that you may not have gotten.

Top Model made me laugh, feel emotions, and went out on an unexpectedly deserved elimination that makes me a tiny bit hopeful going forward. Last week, they embraced their train wreck-y side and made a good episode of TV and now, they played it more straight and...made a good episode of TV. Hmm. And getting rid of two big favorites opens the door for pretty much any girl in the competition able to step their game up to make a run for the top. I've learned long ago not to count anybody out in Top Model Land and judging from the past two weeks, none of the final seven can afford to rest on pretty for a second. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"They just drew a little poo at the bottom."
-"I was kinda like a skinny horse with Bugs Bunny teeth."
-"She sings "American Boy" and I really like that song."
-"She's crawling on the table. What is happening?"
-"Don't be afraid. Be British."
-"I don't have a butt to pop."
-"I love her doing this backbend and being fiercely real."
-Final Call Out Order: Sophie, Seymone, Eboni, Annaliese, Laura, Catherine, Alisha, Kyle (eliminated)
-Tyra's "I can't believe that came out of my mouth" thing was either a striking moment of self-awareness or a mini-stroke. I'd believe either.
-Laura's crimped hair at panel didn't get called out. Flag on the play, y'all. That was not the look.
-Also, if you didn't let out an "aww" on hearing "Your inner beauty can't be bullied" from one of the kids, you're a monster.
-The product placement doesn't bother me that much, but the extended Virgin Mobile promos were especially egregious this time. The random mention of Estelle's song "Thank You" would annoy me, but I really like that song. Sue me.
-Next week on Top Model: The ladies compete to open a fashion show and have to model heavy Hello Kitty couture (!) at their photo shoot. I'm predicting mass casualties. Prepare yourself.

America's Next Top Model 18.07 "Estelle" Review

Hoochie toochie smoochie bootchie toochie toochie coochie coochie.

Don't worry, everybody, I'm not having a fit or psychotic break from too much Top Model. (That's like saying "too much air", c'mon. No such thing.) I'm just practicing what tooches to do and what tooches not to do, as the Good Lord (and Mama Tyra) intended. You wouldn't want your salad tooch to get mixed up with your dessert tooch and heaven knows, if I mixed up my dinner tooch with my fish tooch, I might not be to show up at the next TV Blogger Luncheon, Fashion Show, and Tooch Off. And we wouldn't want that now, would we?

Y'all, tonight's Top Model was all types of stupid and train wreck-y, but I have to admit...I kind of loved it. I don't know if it's residual good feelings from an improved cycle or what, but episodes like this are proof that Top Model can still produce cray cray TV with the best of 'em. We return to the music challenge that began last cycle (POT POT POT LEDOM), but instead of nine individual videos crammed into 42 minutes, it was the battle of the girl groups, as Fiercely British took on The United Sirens of America. That sound you hear is the Pussycat Dolls shaking in their hooker heels. Even though I would like to have seen what the nine could have come up with for their individual video, having it be group v. group gave the episode more focus than last cycle's music episode, playing up the concept of the season to great effect.

What it mostly did, though, was subvert expectations about the casting this cycle; before the cycle, I figured the Brit girls would dominate on the modeling front and struggle with personality (and vice versa for Team Amurrica), but you know what? It's kind of the other way around. The Brits absolutely turned the video for their Lisa D'Amato-penned speak-sing out, in, and out one more time, for good measure. While the Americans were either pitifully blank (Kyle, Seymone), over-the-top (Eboni), a mess (Laura), or "too cool" (AzMarie), the UK sparkled and showed off serious confidence and star power. Even demure little Catherine amped it up and put last week's debacle in the rear view mirror in a challenge I expected her to have a tough time with. The Brits like each other much more than the Americans and that unity played well in front of the camera, both in terms of group shots and giving each other confidence for individual scenes, so the team concept isn't merely gimmicky window dressing. You had to really lean on your team to take this challenge and that closeness from the Brits soothed any lingering doubt, propping up girls that aren't dancers and making them look like true divas. After weeks of the Brits never really gaining a foothold, in terms of call out order, it felt fantastic to have all four of them be called out before a single American.

The songs that they had to play with, though, were a little too Lisa to get into. I liked (and shamefully jammed to) "I Be Like Whoa" quite frequently, but she put too much of herself into the lyrics and it felt like this turned into a Lisa D'Amato cover challenge v. a music video challenge. The one advantage that cycle 17's music episode had over this episode is that it let the girls write their own lyrics; they may not have been penning Joni Mitchell songs, but you got a little personality in there and it helped differentiate the pack from one another. I wish that it had been a total team effort a'la the editorial challenge earlier this cycle, if only so we could watch them come together and observe the teamwork aspect one more time. Amurrica would have been f-ed over that way, too, since Laura's a crazy lady and Kyle can't seem to conjure any emotion in her voice/face aside from mild constipation. What the h-e-double-fiercely-real was that teddy bear fight? You guys, there was a teddy bear fight. If there's not a pillow fight soon, I may literally die. But seriously, Laura, get it together, girl - if you're having a tough time adjusting to your friend passing, maybe going on reality television and trying for a modeling contract isn't the best thing for you to do. No shade about grieving and taking the time you need to heal, but it's clear she's not in the frame of mind right now to become America's Next Polydent Spokesmodel.

I'm all for hating on Kyle, since she still hasn't remotely impressed me, but that screaming fit indicates that maybe it's time for Laura to pull an Ondrei from cycle 16. Go home, deal with your tragedy, and then try to become a model.

The best thing about the episode, by far, was the elimination of presumed frontrunner AzMarie. While her performance lacking any energy and her part in the song jacking Nicki Minaj's 497907th alter ego made it easy to root for her to leave, the main plus is that it might be anybody's game now. Top Model is much more fun when there's not an obvious winner in the bunch (ahemANNahem) and I had AzMarie in the top 2 going into tonight; she was coming off two first call outs in a row and raves from the judges, but that type of momentum can change if you flub enough. And flub she did, refusing to tooch and smelling herself a little too much for my liking. Girl, you still have eight others to outwit, outlast, and outfierce, so now's not the time to let your ego do the posing. And I'm sorry, Top Model has been on since the Dark Ages - if you don't know what you're getting yourself into by now, I can't feel sorry for you when you have to do something goofy. That's not to say that Top Model can't go (way way) overboard and beyond the bounds of normal behavior expected from a model. It can be horrendously irrelevant and tangential to actual modeling, but it's only pretended to be high fashion for, like, a cycle and a half. I complain about the show, but I'm not on it trying to get cheap exposure or become a model, so put on your tooch ensemble and stop talking about yourself in the third person.

Well, that episode happened, didn't it? Even though I've been enjoying the gradual improvement of cycle 18, there's nothing like a good ol' fashioned mess to clear the palette, no? Top Model may be trying to become a more legit competition series, but it'll always have a sweet spot in over-the-top episodes like this, the type of episode that is obviously awful but glorious in every single way.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"I need all the hussies to come down now!"
-"I wouldn't even be in a boy band."
-"I can tell. You have a flat tooch."
-"Say nooch to the hoochie tooch."
-"I love the booty tooch train!" The poo choo train?
-"She's like a nasty mechanic. That face."
-Final Call Out Order: Alisha, Sophie, Catherine, Annaliese, Seymone, Laura, Eboni, Kyle, AzMarie (eliminated)
-Tyra starting to step during the dookie tooch made me crack. the hell. up. Brilliant.
-If you'd like to be the songs you hear tonight, here's Team UK's "We'll Mash You Up" and Team Amurrica's (wait for it) "Stop, Drop, N Tooch".
-The mentors didn't really do anything, but I found Nadine (and her accent) to be quite lovely.
-Next week on Top Model: The remaining eight modeloonies shoot an anti-bullying PSA (It Gets Toochier?) and pose as art installations at a fancy dinner party. Something something Gesamtkunstwerk.

America's Next Top Model 18.06 "Jessica Sutta and Nadine Coyle" Review

Believe it or not, we're already down five girls in the search for America's Next Top Model-slash-Actress-slash-Reality-Footnote. It's been a weird cycle thus far, in that it's an improvement over cycle 17 yet there's still a lot of head scratching decisions being made, both on and off the catwalk. However, the farther we head into Tyra's Black Hole of Fierceness, the more we're seeing that there may be some models with actual potential vying for the title, as opposed to the regular girl realness that was being served at the cycle's beginning. Now that we've had a week with no new episode, it's time to fix your weave, smize with all you've got, and try to figure out who in the world could become the 18th winner of this mess.

Let's start in the bottom three, or the girls that could be eliminated in Wednesday's episode and I wouldn't be the least bit shocked.

9. I have Alisha in the number nine spot in my power rankings, only because she's yet to produce a photo that the judges love (or even firmly like). There may be heaps of potential there, but Alisha's average call out has been 6.8, the lowest of any of the other eight girls remaining. Translation? She's treading on very thin ice and if she doesn't perform in a way that gets the judges gagging for more, I have a feeling we'll be saying goodbye to yet another member of Team UK. Hopefully she learns how to regularly smize in her photos and brings the personality we see in her talking heads to panel/challenges before it's too late.
Call Out Average: 6.8

8. Annaliese may have gotten some positive notes from the judges, but generally, she gets complimented on her personality moreso than her modeling. Top Model may be focusing more on marketing and whatnot this time around, but would they reward a good model with a great personality over a great model with a good/fair personality? With all the personality remarks, Anna's presenter-ish Modelland name (Excite-to-Buy), and the recent dismissal of Ashley on similar grounds, I don't see her making it much further unless she can make her modeling stand out as much as her other strengths.
Call Out Average: 6.0

7. Seymone is an interesting case, in that there seems to be two of her. One Seymone is confident and fairly talented; the other Seymone is stiff, nervous, and clearly not ready for primetime. It's a question of which one you'll get on a given day and that inconsistency can't be soothing to the judges. She gave a good photo last week, which I think will buy her another couple of weeks, but Top Model needs a girl ready to go conquer the world right now, not in a couple of years. Considering the number of bottom two appearances she's had, the next slip up will result in her dismissal, so there's no room for error at this point.
Call Out Average: 6.6
First Call Outs: 1 (Week One)
Bottom Two Appearances: 2 (Week Two, Week Four)

The middle tier is a little more flexible and based more on how each model is trending than anything.

6. Catherine was pretty solidly in the upper tier for the first four weeks of the competition, but last week, she fumbled, not booking any runway at Fashion Week and seemingly very frazzled at panel. On a cycle where public persona and first impressions are key, you can't be a mess, girl. Tyra loves her face, though, and her ability to turn it out in a photo, so I don't think Catherine is in trouble quite yet. I do think that, unless she becomes a little more polished over the next few weeks, her stay on Top Model will be shorter than I initially expected it to be.
Call Out Average: 5.6
Bottom Two Appearances: 1 (Week Five)

5. I firmly expected Eboni to be gone by now, honestly. I didn't think her rebellion against being 30-Never would work in her favor, particularly considering how green she came across in the early stages of the competition. But Miss Eboni gave a great photo last week and booked a good amount of jobs in Toronto, so maybe she'll be the late bloomer that makes a good run this cycle. Maybe all the girl needed was a little time to grow into herself and now that she's got it (at least) sort of figured out, she could do a little damage. I don't think she has a shot to win, but with her personality charming four major designers and fusing sexuality with the purity demanded from the judges, she could make it a good ways into this thing.
Call Out Average: 6.2
First Call Outs: 1 (Week Five)

4. Sophie is a weird girl to try and understand, as she's always gotten good marks but never anything truly great. I do think she's got the talent to break into the top, but it's all a matter of putting everything together in a single week. The main advantage that she has being the top Brit in the competition is that it increases her chances of going deep into the cycle. Top Model wouldn't make such a huge deal about the UK/America "rivalry" all cycle long if it didn't culminate in a final two of one Brit and one American. If the top two or three are all Americans, they've more or less wasted their time (and ours) being the concept into the ground, so I think that Sophie can make it to the top 2-3, at least, as long as she continues to set the pace for the Brits. That type of cushion could make her work harder to produce excellent as opposed to very good, or it could make her rest on her laurels and get an unexpected boot. It all depends on how much she wants it.
Call Out Average: 4.8

And now, the top three (of the moment) from America's Next Top Model: British Invasion. Get into it.

3. Although I may not see the appeal of Kyle, it's obvious how much fawning her look has inspired in the judges and each collaborator brought onto the cycle thus far. The key thing about Kyle is the reaction her commercial got; even bumbling over her lines and coming off as an awkward mess, she got great reviews for her presence. Top Model is all about branding and likability this time around, so even if her photos were marginally received, she bought herself extra time through her performance there. But her photos have been getting raves, too, with typically harsh Kelly comparing her to Barbara Eden-meets-Barbarella and gushing about her in-panel look. Kyle's All-American sweetness wrapped in a pretty, non-offensive package, so I could see her making a run for the top two. But her lack of a first call out and truly standout week makes me hesitant to put her much higher than third.
Call Out Average: 4.2

2. Laura has a lot working for her. Her spitfire-y personality and energetic modeling have gotten her the highest call out average of the remaining girls, never slipping below fifth in a given week. But the focus on her personal tragedy makes me wonder if Top Model is planning a backdoor exit for Zagilicious. While having a "story" can help you on other reality shows, it's not necessarily an asset on Top Model; it can be neutralized by performing well and keeping the grief/insecurity out of your weekly duties. (Cycle 4's eventual runner-up channeled her grief into a gorgeous photo depicting wrath, for example.) Laura placed fifth last week in the first episode that really focused on the death of her friend, so she still managed to get it together and perform.  I just worry that, on an off week, they'll pick at that being the reason for her distraction and boot her off for not being able to compartmentalize. 
Call Out Average: 3.0
First Call Outs: 1 (Week Two)

1. And my number one...AzMarie. I didn't think she would have this high of a position at the beginning of the competition, but the improvement she's shown has been really fun to watch. Az is a unique beauty that has finally gotten confident in her beauty, following two weeks of overly tentative modeling that put her on the fast track to early elimination. But her rebound has made her the only model with two first call outs and it's obvious that this type of improvement has gotten the judges in her back pocket from here on out. There's never been an androgynous Top Model before, which works in Az's favor, and I think that Tyra would love to use her ascent to the title as a positive message to non-traditional models and little girls everywhere. For all the talk about Top Model embracing every type of model and every type of look, this could be the perfect way to actually show that to the viewer at home. It doesn't hurt that Az is talented, personable, and coming into her own rather quickly into the competition.
Call Out Average: 4.6
First Call Outs: 2 (Week Three, Week Four)

As much as I hate to admit it, Team Amurrica has been performing well, at least when it comes to the judges. I could be persuaded to move Kyle down on the list, but Laura and Az are clearly running in the top 2 right now and it'll take one of the other girls raising their game to break that up. Of the Brits, I think Catherine and Sophie have the best chance of doing so, particularly if Tyra and company pick off a couple of Americans to even things out and provide some competitive balance. America's Next Top Model: British Invasion has been a touch inconsistent, but it's doing some things right and if it can course correct a little bit, I think we could be in for a goofy good time going forward.

America's Next Top Model airs Wednesdays at 9:00 on The CW.

America's Next Top Model: British Invasion: Top 9 Power Rankings

Well, thanks for that crazy cliffhanger, The Secret Circle. Now hurry your ass back on our TV screens, pronto.

Tonight's episode of The Secret Circle not only set the stage for the last four episodes of the season, but also labeled the enemy Cassie and company must face along the way. Although, I'm still not sure if Eben and the Witch Hunters are the only foes on the battlefield at this time. We also have the Elders, Dawn and Charles, and John Blackwell all having something planned for The Circle and its' power, but whether if this will all play into the overall endgame for this season is left to be seen. I, for one, believe that the April 19th episode, Crystal, will attempt to tie all of those strings together in a nicely, woven thread, which is why that date can't get here quick enough. But enough on the future. Let's focus on tonight's top events.

The Demons are Back! The Demons are Back!

Tonight saw the return to the scariest and most dangerous evil the Circle has ever faced since The Secret Circle has been on the air. The fact that they were only regulated as pawns to Eben and John only sullied their reputation a bit in my eyes, but here's hoping that the demons rip Eben to shreds for trying to use them as puppets in his war against the witches. Which brings me to my next point...

Eben The Hypocritical Witch Hunter and His Witch Familiar

For Eben to hate everything that a witch stands for, the man sure loves using their magic and other forms of witchcraft to destroy the very people he despises. Seriously, he takes the concept of "fight fire with fire" to a whole other level, which puts him high up on my 'Please eradicate this fool from my presence...' list. However, I really wouldn't mind knowing who in the hell is helping this man kill their own kind. I know Jake went turncoat for a minute, but I can understand his reasoning. It has to be someone not related to the Circle members current and past, because who would really want to have a hand in killing their own children?

Liar, Liar...

John's lies are unraveling exponentially faster than any secret on LOST. At that rate, Bad Boy Blackwell will eventually be fully caught bare-assed and Cassie won't be able to naïvely ignore that her pops is, in some capacity, roguish as hell. With that said, John does exudes some compassion for Cassie and her well-being to the point that you somewhat have to believe that he is in fact trying to protect his daughter, no matter the cost. But is John's protection of Cassie paternal or materialistic? Now, that's the question we should be asking ourselves at this stage of the game.

Most notably, John showcased his power tonight to the Circle and it was nothing short than both amazing and frightening. Just imagine how bad he was with Dawn, Charles, and Amelia back in the day, which I hope we get a chance to see sooner than later.

Also, wonder who was the poor soul that John sacrificed to bring the demons to Chance Harbor? Has their name already been mentioned? And why on earth would John want to raise demons 16 years earlier? Could it this be connected with how the previous Circle were able to not only have kids so young, but also at the same time?

Relationships Simply Suck For Our Coven

You can't have an episode of The Secret Circle without having angst-y drama on the relationship side of things. Tonight, we found out that while Adam still can't remember where his love for Cassie went, but that he's mad as hell about it and was a powder keg waiting to be set off. Personally, I'm a card-carrying member of Anti-Cadam (is that what TSC fans are calling them?) and felt that Thomas Dekker delivered his obliviousness towards Cassie way better than he did actually loving her. Just saying. Nonetheless, I'm sure the two love birds will find themselves in each other's arms soon enough before the end of the season. I just wish Jake would make a harder play for Cassie in the process.

Now to the other relationship point of the night involving Diana and her new seemingly safe friend Grant, which sort of bored me to tears because he was so clean. Initially when the episode opened, I had pegged Grant as a Witch Hunter, because of the exact timing of the Witch Hunters' return and him waltzing back in town from 'his boat.' Remember, the Witch Hunters have boats as well and I was just sure that the jig would be up for Grant and Diana would have been a damsel in distress by episode's end. However, that wasn't the case, but Grant was harboring a secret that upset Diana royally. Turns out that Grant is actually (drumroll folks)... a deck hand. Yay! Right? Wrong.

Diana's reaction was met with a blank stare from me, because even though he did lie about who he was, his lie didn't put her life in danger. He could have been another person after the Circle, a Witch Hunter spy, a demon, anything, but instead he was an average joe looking for love. I can understand disappointment, but Diana, in my opinion, took it a tad bit overboard, especially since she herself has yet to tell him about her witchy ways. In short, I was a tad bit let down by that particular story arc tonight, but since I love Diana tremendously, she gets a pass. Plus, let's face it: after the hellish year she's had so far, she pretty much needs it.

Time to Take a Stand, Coven!

John Blackwell's speech to the Circle at the end of the episode had me wondering if Buffy Summers herself was the speechwriter or not. The monologue itself was not only a plan of attack for the Circle, but it also felt like a pep talk for the audience, as well. The one thing that stuck out in Blackwell's 'call to arms' was the lesson on the crystals we've seen Dawn, Charles, Ethan, and the Elders wielding most of the season. We now know that the crystals used to part of a whole crystal, which makes me think if connected together will the crystals for the infamous crystal skull from the book series. Also, I hope this revelation will introduce us to Melissa's folks now. We've met everyone else's parents (sans Nick and Jake's for obvious reasons) and I think it's time to include Melissa's parents into the mix.

And not to get ahead of myself, but I really think Melissa is Cassie's sister and not Faye, which the trailer for the next episode has led folks to believe. I've always thought that Melissa was Cassie's sister from gate, but the theory seems to have just caught fire as of late, making me glad that I'm not the only subscriber to that idea. Just putting that out there.

Other Honorable Mentions

- Have I not praised how much I'm loving the new Melissa? The writers seem to have found her voice and are using it in the most prodigious fashion. She's now not only a true member of the Circle, but she's one of the girls as well. No more putting Melissa in a corner or shipping her off to God knows where for the week. Thank you, writers, for listening to the fans and giving Melissa a purpose finally.

- Diana's line about agreeing with Faye on Cassie being a drama queen said so much and gave a nice glimpse of how Diana really feels about Cassie. The former leader's patience is growing slightly thin, so Cassie might want tread easily with Diana in the future.

- As I stated before, the demons are the creepiest aspect of The Secret Circle so far. Anyone who is possessed by one gives off a pretty convincing performance. Although, I couldn't help wonder if the guy who portrayed Samuel was an extra on The Walking Dead, because he gave full zombie performance tonight as he staggered towards the Circle. Sent chills down my spine, I tell ya.

- The entire subplot with Adam, Melissa, and Faye was very well-played, written, and executed. More of that, please, Secret Circle writers? Please and thank you.

So that's it for now! Remember, though, that The Secret Circle won't be back until April 19th with the last four episodes of the season. Any idea on how things will end this year for our Circle?

PHOTOS: The CW/Michael Courtney

The Secret Circle 1.18 Review - The Battle Lines Have Been Drawn...

One of the main complaints that people (including yours truly) have had about Top Model is that it can feel a little insular. Instead of exposing the girls in each cycle to the realities of the fashion business through actual casting/jobs, realistic photoshoots, and lessons in handling your coins, it can focus too much on being capital-R Reality TV. There are many (legitimate) reasons that no true top model has emerged from the Top Model dungeon, but one of the primary examples of this lies with how little the girls know about what they're getting themselves into upon leaving the show. To be able to beat the fashion machine that has spit many a girl out like juice from a mouthful of chewing tobacco, you have to understand the machine and dressing like Michael Jackson or freely eating a hot dog aren't ways to do it.

"Beverly Johnson" had one of the best challenges in the show's history, but like every good decision in the world of Pot Ledom and lollipops, it immediately got undercut by something stupid. Having the girls head to fashion week, go on castings, and work the jobs they booked was an intelligent, long overdue move by Top Model; it gave us a look at what the fashion industry can be like and what the girls can expect going forward, particularly having six designers in a room at once to critique their walks. It felt like a moment of (actual) reality in a sea of madness, but as much as I liked having something legitimately fashion-related on the docket of events, I got a little perturbed upon learning we were doing runway. You mean to tell me that Miss J. was here, exactly one episode ago, and there couldn't have been a walking lesson? When the show knew ahead of time they were going to Fashion Week? I'm all for Top Model changing up the typical structure of their cycle, as they moved the commercial challenge up several weeks during J.'s episode, but they definitely sandbagged some of the contestants by not giving them runway tips.

Not saying that Ashley or Catherine would have went from poor walkers to Naomi Campbell overnight, but if they had tips fresh in their mind from a session with Miss J., maybe they could have booked a gig or two. And who knows, that could have altered who went home and, indirectly, the makeup of the rest of the cycle.

The shoot ended being pretty surprising, in that it had all the elements of being a train wreck (leaf bikinis! maple syrup!), but it ended up producing several high quality photos.  And let me eat my hat - Team Amurrica turned it out. I wasn't a fan of Kyle's dead arm or Laura hiding her neck (first rule of Top Model Fight Club! never hide your neck!), but Azmarie served up sex appeal mixed with a little strength, Seymone finally embraced her curves, and Eboni (!) merged her need to be a tart with Tyra's plea for purity. Eboni, in particular, surprised me the entire episode, tying for the lead in number of booked shows and producing an elegantly sexy shot that makes me reconsider having written her off early on.

Team Britain was more hit-or-miss after being covered in maple syrup, unfortunately, which led to four of the bottom five being girls from across the pond. I don't know if it's because they're a little more high fashion looking or aren't as comfortable with their bodies, but Britain didn't really have a standout shot to speak of. Catherine's almost-beauty shot might have been my favorite, but I wondered if its impact was because of how different it was from the other nine shots. Sophie had another pretty-good-but-not-great photo, a piercing frame that pointed out how unusual-yet-pretty she is, but she's yet to knock me on my butt, though I know she has it in her. Annaliese had a great idea that didn't quite pop, Alisha felt about 40% of the way there, and Ashley went a little too artsy and lost the fashion angle.

The shoot managed to skirt the line between being exploitative and provocative, emphasizing actual modeling concepts (angles, shapes, etc.) while giving us the hint of goofiness inherent in anything Top Model.

The elimination order, though, felt a little bit wonky to me. The top three (Eboni, Azmarie, and Sophie), I can understand, but Seymone taking 4th? Annaliese almost falling to bottom two? Kyle still being here? I just can't. Seymone may have produced a smoldering photo that radiated confidence, but she didn't book any jobs like Ashley and Catherine, so calling her that high was a little much. Annaliese, bubbly personality and all, booked a couple of jobs and took a photo that got positive comments, so why was she that low on the totem pole? Could they be railroading her out of the competition on another "personality" edit? I mean, they've already mentioned how much she reminds them of a presenter, so I have a feeling that one off week and we'll be hearing about how her personality doesn't translate into photos. And I'm sorry, the world falling all over Kyle is mystifying to me. Did we not all see her runway walk and how ass-y it was? (The lack of energy, the wide eyes, etc.) And her photo wasn't all that and a bag of apples, so this "Kyle totes is a model, everybody" attitude from panel and every guest judge/mentor perplexes me. I don't see supermodel when I look at Kyle; I see a pretty girl and that's it.

If I were Alisha and Annaliese, though, I'd pick it up. To me, they're the most vulnerable models in the bunch right now and unless they turn it on next week, one of them is going home.

How about that? A fun Top Model that balanced out some professionalism with a little ridiculousness and came out with beautiful photos to show for all the effort. It may still have little problems here or there, but cycle 18 has stepped up from the horror of cycle 17 to become fairly watchable guilty pleasure TV once again. Once it gets a little more weekly consistency and the carcasses of models gone by strewn around the loft, Top Model may be able to regain a little bit of strut lost in its later seasons. There's still life in Top Model and by goodness, Aunt Tyra is performing CPR like it'll give her an endorsement deal.

And then she'll talk about it.

Repeatedly.

Thoughts, Quotes, & Observations:
-"The fire is coming and it's burning, and these bitches are about to get cooked."
-"Just, like, let me walk in your show, for God's sake."
-"God, don't be stupid. You're really trying."
-"You nailed that and a bag of chips."
-"You are, like, smizing through my soul."
-"Finally, a dinosaur!"
-"Oh, you have my old waistline."
-"We have to kick out a sticky-icky."
-Final Call Out Order: Eboni, Azmarie, Sophie, Seymone, Laura, Kyle, Alisha, Annaliese, Catherine, Ashley (eliminated)
-How flawless was Beverly Johnson looking, you guys? My word. I wish she had been brought in on a challenge/photo shoot instead of a brief guest judging spot.
-If you'd like to pick up a little of Mr. Jay's "Attitude" collection, you can do so at Sears Canada.
-I normally hate the post-elimination advice from Tyra, but I'm glad she told Ashley to look into becoming a presenter. Make us at TVOvermind proud, Ashley!
-Top Model is off next week, as One Tree Hill will be having a two-hour series finale. When we pick back up, former girl group members Jessica Sutta (Pussycat Dolls) and Nadine Coyle (Girls Aloud) guest judge the show's second annual music video challenge. Pot ledom?

America's Next Top Model 18.05 "Beverly Johnson" Review