It seems like it was just Thanksgiving, and now Christmas has come to The Middle. A little too much eggnog makes Frankie invite all of the neighbors to a Christmas Eve party at their house. Of course, she regrets the invitations as soon as she’s sober, but the damage is already done and a party there will be. If only they could get a new dishwasher to fill the hole left by the old dishwasher before the party. Frankie pesters Mike about it, not knowing that he already got her one for Christmas.
Brick–little Brick who has read nearly every book in existence–has only just discovered that church is based on a book. He starts reading the Bible and is immediately turned into a skeptic. “How could Noah have two of every animal on one boat? Many are mortal enemies, and the poop alone… ” Frankie and Mike are uncomfortable with his questions, but Sue is the most hurt by Brick’s skepticism when he tells her there are plot holes in the Bible. He doesn’t understand how Eve was made from Adam’s rib, because if it was anything like cloning, wouldn’t it just make more Adams? Sue tries to convince Brick, without any luck, that just because some of the Bible doesn’t make sense doesn’t mean it’s not true. She explains, “There’s a lot of episodes of Glee that don’t make sense, but I still cry.”
It becomes difficult for Mike to keep the dishwasher a secret from Frankie when he brings it home. She catches him and a friend in Sue’s room (where they’re hiding the gift) for no apparent reason. Mike says he was showing his friend the hole in Sue’s wall so they can fix it, and then Frankie wants that done before the party too. Lies start building upon lies, and as Frankie keeps bugging him about getting a dishwasher, Mike starts rhyming off names and shirt colors of appliance salesmen who were sold out of them. When he accidentally mentions a truck (used to move the dishwasher), and tries to say he meant “trunk,” he ends up saying he test drove a truck with a trunk. A trunk truck. If only everyone was that bad at lying.
Worried about Brick, Sue sends him to the master of religion: Reverend Tim Tom. Since Brick isn’t a teenage girl, nothing Rev. Tim Tom says changes his mind. Not even when the Reverend skates around an ice rink while singing and playing guitar. Although Bible stories have wow factor, they are difficult for Brick to believe. Rev. Tim Tom doesn’t push Brick, and they agree to disagree–to the extreme disappointment of Sue.
Christmas Eve arrives and it’s time for the party. The dishwasher hole has never looked so festive, lined with wrapping paper and ribbon. As the eggnog starts to flow, all Frankie can talk about with the neighborhood wives is how Mike won’t get her a dishwasher. They start to boo Mike at his own party. Still, he keeps the gift a secret.
Bob, needing a friend, tries to hang out with Axl at the party. They had been working together the past few weeks selling Christmas trees, and Bob desperately tried to be as cool as Axl by using phrases like “bro” and “hellz yeah.” Axl, with no subtlety, tells Bob to hang out with people his own age and then proceeds to take a girl to Sue’s room to make out. Unfortunately for Axl, he can see Bob outside trying to beat up a snowman. Spontaneously generating a Christmas spirit, Axl leaves his make-out session to talk to Bob and make him feel like the cool one. “You’ve got this career thing going. You’ve been to Disney World… ”
More alcohol means more insults directed at Mike. Apparently he’s always been awful at gift giving. Astringent and mothballs top the list of worst gifts. Mike finally cracks, rolls the dishwasher into the middle of the party, says “Merry Christmas” and goes to bed. Awkwardness kills the festivities, and everyone takes off. After a lot of pleading for forgiveness, Frankie and Mike make up–twice.
Christmas morning, they find out the standard-sized dishwasher does not fit in their non-standard house. Rev. Tim Tom shows up to tell Sue that it’s okay for Brick to be on his own path, and then makes a spectacular comparison of Jesus Christ and Justin Bieber: they both know not everyone will follow them at first, but they just keep doing what they do and hope more people will join them. Sue is blown away by the similarities between J.C. and J.B. and decides to be okay with Brick’s skepticism. As snow lightly falls and Brick and Sue watch in amazement, Brick says that although he questions the Bible, it is a really cool story. “The Roman numerals are cool too. You don’t see those too much in books anymore.” (Whisper: “Roman numerals.”)
That’s it for 2011! The Middle returns to ABC on January 4, 2012.