The Real Housewives of Miami 1.02 “Black Ball’d” Review

Last night I finally got around to watching this week’s Real Housewives of Miami and as a token for my good behavior, I was awarded some much needed drama at the end of the episode. The problem is that said drama spilled over onto Watch What Happens Live! as well, which thank GOD I watch on a regular basis, because that same drama escalated when two of the Housewives got into a spat on live television. There’s nothing like seeing an embarrassed stunned face on live television and Cristy Rice, no matter how much she tried to compose herself afterwards, had her “baddest” resolve rocked by a pissed off Lea Black, who called in to say her peace on the subject of that night’s episode.

Apparently, Cristy had “crashed” Lea’s annual charity ball which is “THE” event to attend in Miami, but if Rick Ross is a performing and Joe Francis is running around like a STD in heat, I can’t help but call that claim into question. Anyway, Cristy arrived unannounced and didn’t pay for a ticket, which to Lea was like committing aggravated robbery since she herself, her husband, and everyone in the place bought a ticket. You can’t knock Lea for being mean about the situation when she herself bought a ticket to the event, but in retrospect, Cristy claims that she didn’t take a bite of food or even sit in a chair during her short time there. Even though that may be true, I can’t help but side with Lea on this scenario.

The fan-hitter (short version of when crap hits the fan) came when while on WWHL!, Cristy stated she did buy two tickets and that she was in no way funny with her money. Before Andy could move on from the subject, Lea called into the show and read Cristy as if she was the latest Jackie Collins novel and then hung up promptly after saying her last word, not giving Cristy a chance to rebuttal. Ouch and nice!

I think we’ve found our drama angle for the season. Hopefully. Because other than this morsel of “ONSD!” moment, the rest of the episode kinda made me a bit angry.

The number one reason goes to Larsa Pippen and her mother’s glee over firing nannies. Larsa claimed that she has been unlucky in finding the perfect nanny and has had to fire a lot of them. Then we see her talking about how they can’t follow instructions and how she gives them nicknames like “Turtle” and what not, which is degrading, depraved, and makes Beverly Hills Housewife Camille Grammer’s four nannies situation look sane and honorable. In short, I’m not feeling Larsa at all at this point, because she, along with Cristy, obviously seems to think money is like toilet paper and that anyone who thinks differently is a moron. Alexia’s summarizing on the two was spot on and it goes to prove my assumption on Larsa and Cristy’s Basketball Wives mentality, which is where I still think they should belong.

Plus, we got a cameo appearance of Kim Zolciak from the Real Housewives of Atlanta who attended Lea’s event with her date at the time DJ Tracy Young, which makes me wonder when exactly was this show filmed, because I thought Kim was dating Kroy last summer? Either way, Kim looked bored about it all (or embarrassed) and ready to call it a night as soon as she got there.

In summation, the Real Housewives of Miami raised my eyes in a good way more this week than their introductory episode last week, but I’m still far from having the urge to yell “muy caliente!” at this point in time.

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