The 'shipper debate can be a minefield. Perhaps that's most applicable to a show like The Vampire Diaries, which not only has very devoted fans (and for good reason, since it's a terrific show worthy of devotion), but also because the writers have crafted a slow-building and genuine love triangle. The triangle of Elena-Damon-Stefan doesn't feel forced or sudden. It feels earned and enduring.
This week's episode of The Vampire Diaries went far in highlighting the position that Elena is in, but I was left with a sense that perhaps she may have a fairly decent understanding of the choice she wants to make.
To be quite honest, I don't 'ship any particular pairing, and haven't been a hard-core 'shipper since Buffy and Angel (True Love, people!). I have no secret agenda or pairing to push here, I just want to lay out an argument (or perhaps play devil's advocate for those of you who may think differently).
Three scenes in last night's episode of The Vampire Diaries commanded my attention and got me thinking. The first was the scene where Elena initially walked into the Originals' ball and was approached by both Damon and Stefan. Instead of choosing one or the other, she choose to take both of their arms, thus firmly placing her in the middle of the Salvatore brothers. An enviable position for any woman, of course, but two other scenes were far more decisive. After Damon recovered from Stefan breaking his neck in order to distract him so that Elena could carry out her plan, Damon was understandably upset. Why? Because, as he angrily told her, "I love you". Damon's feelings for Elena have been clear to the audience for quite some time, but I believe this was the first time he flat out told her that he loved her. Her response? "Maybe that's a problem". Ouch.
It's clear that Elena regretted her somewhat harsh response, but I can understand that she was likely thrown off-guard by the confession. As much as she knows that Damon has feelings for her, it's a big step to say "I love you", especially when she's been hesitant to start a real relationship with him. Of course, her "rejection" threw him and he regressed into his old habits of violence, nonchalance, and sex.
The third important scene in this week's episode of The Vampire Diaries came at the end, when Stefan took Elena home after the ball. Once again, she confronted him about his desire to suppress any and all emotions, particularly concerning her. I thought this scene was incredibly telling. Elena has, from the beginning of this season, been adamant about wanting the "real" Stefan returned to her. At points, she's been so angry and hurt by his actions that she's wanted to dismiss him. But I don't think Elena can ever dismiss Stefan.
I think that Elena still genuinely loves Stefan. I think that Elena still genuinely wants Stefan. Despite all of his forced callousness, she once again begged him to feel something...particularly for her. While I believe that this love triangle will likely endure for the remainder of the season, I have to wonder whether Elena is leaning more heavily towards Stefan than Damon. Hear me out as we debate the various men in Elena's life:
Damon: It's clear that Elena is attracted to Damon. Perhaps in the beginning it was more of a "bad boy" attraction that many girls have. Damon was suave and dangerous and sexy. It's completely understandable that Elena - that any woman - would fall for his charms, even if she loved Stefan. But is Damon the right choice for Elena? I don't doubt his feelings for her in the least, but is he the right man to love and care for her in the way that she wants and needs? Could he always override his more dangerous tendencies like Stefan did (not all the time, but certainly more than Damon has) for Elena's sake or is his personality more volatile?
Stefan: A lot of people - myself included - have really loved the Ripper Stefan storyline. It's brought an edge to the character that wasn't always present. But occasionally I find myself missing the genuine Stefan who was in love with Elena. It's clear that he still loves her and has told his brother that. And he struggles with repressing his emotions because he knows how much his actions against Elena would actually break his own heart. He hurts because he hurt her. In the same way that Damon refuses to give up on his brother, Elena seems unable to give up on her first love. I believe that her love for Stefan would always be more pure than her love for anyone else, although it has certainly been tainted by his recent actions.
Elijah: This was meant to be a humorous option for Elena, but there seems to be a growing friendship between these two, as unlikely as that may seem. It's clear that she feels genuine remorse for participating in Esther's plans and tying him to his siblings. Although, the likelihood of these two actually falling into any sort of meaningful relationship is probably very low. But I have a serious question - what would their pairing be called? 'Elenah'?
None of Them: This is likely the least popular option among all of fandom, but it may be the only choice that doesn't result in Elena getting killed or turned into a vampire. Although, perhaps those two outcomes became inevitable the moment Elena first fell for Stefan. Maybe The Vampire Diaries novels, Buffy and - God help me - even Twilight is right. Maybe a normal girl cannot have an enduring relationship with a vampire unless she becomes one herself because there is a finality to that relationship that one of them simply cannot endure.
I'd like to hear your thoughts on Elena's actions and the man she might be leaning towards, so vote in our poll below and drop us a comment. The poll is not meant to be a popularity contest, there's no prize to be won here. Don't vote for the man you hope Elena chooses, but for the man you actually think she'll choose based on her actions. Finally, a note about the comments - please do not turn this into a 'shipper war. If you have a counter-argument to the ones I've presented, I would love to hear it. I don't like to police comments, but I want us all to be civil. I'm confident we can be.
A new episode of The Vampire Diaries will air on February 16. The Original Family continues their internal power struggles and it looks like Elena is (once again) threatened. Watch a trailer for the episode here.
OMG this poll asks who DOES SHE WANT…Clearly its stefan u may not like it but she doesnt love Damon that…if she was she would b bragging about that kiss to all her friends…but shes embarrassed. And she made the move not stefan she did in her heart to stop Stefan from leaving. you may not like it or want it but dont b dumb
Thank you Liz.
haha I hit submit too soon…I was thinking the same thing when I read the results! Whether or not you 'ship' Damon/Stefan w/Elena she clearly wanted Stefan last night.
I honestly think that Elena "wants' both of them… why would she throw a fit when she finds out Damon and Rebecca were rolling in the hay, hmmm? If it's a question of "want".. .I believe she fits in the "katherine' category and wants them both. If you are talking "love", I think she truly loves Stefan. Just my opinion.
Stefan 100 percent!
people can we please read the question correctly? it says who does elena want, not who u want elena to be with. Ofcourse she wants stefan
I honestly think that Elena wants to want Stefan and that her feelings for Damon scare her to the point that she represses them. She does not want to be like Katherine and she is not sure how to handle her feelings for Damon. She told Stefan that she had lied to Damon about his love being a problem. I think that in trying so hard wih Stefan, she is just fighting her feelings for Damon. Were Stefan’s love was easy, loving Damon is not.
I think in the beginning she loved Stefan and was merely attracted to bad-boy Damon, but after losing Stefan all she had was Damon. He took care of her, physically, mentally, emotionally. You wanna go on a crazy roadtrip to find a humanity-depraved vampire? Sure. I'm here for you. That's the kind of roots that love springs from. I was really really annoyed by her 'at least you let me make my own decisions' comment to Stefan and them playing Damon off as a controlling asshole. Stefan was much more so in seasons past.
I'm going to start by saying that I am a Damon fan through and through. I really want him to take himself out of the equation period. I hate how he is made to feel like the distant second choice for everyone. He has his bad points I'll admit but when it couunts he always comes through and noone gives him credit for that so in my opinion let Stefan have her because Damon deserves someone who loves him above all others.
Based on Dangerous Liasons, obviously Stefan.
I believe that she wants them both in different ways. Stefan was that first love, and that's very, very hard to let go of, as anyone knows. She is holding on to that love and desire for dear life and refusing to let go. On the other hand, there is Damon. Her love and desire for him is completely different from her love for Stefan. It's less structured, less compartmentalized, much more difficult to define. Love and desire can take many different forms, and her relationships with both men show that. Stefan is the "safer" choice, Damon would be a wild card. I think honestly that she wants Damon more, but she doesn't want to. That's part of why she can't let go of Stefan. Personally, I think that she will never be able to completely be happy with Stefan again, although I'm sure they will reunite. A large part of her will always be thinking about Damon and wondering about what might have been. He brings out a different side of her and I don't think she will be able to let that go.