The Voice: The Battle Rounds Battle Logic

Welcome back to the Battle rounds of NBC’s hit show, The Voice, where the four stars of the show are now allowed to look upon all of their chosen team members as they and their helpful advisors coach them before judging a performance where they make the contestants sing with/against each other. This format seems to make perfect sense to everyone else out there but me.

Cee-Lo Green, upon choosing Nakia vs. Tje as this week’s first battle says: “you will be singing with or against each other – it depends on how you look at it.” Well, how are they supposed to look at it? Can you tell them, and in the process, clue me in as well? Blake Shelton didn’t like what he was seeing in the rehearsal of the parties he chose to pit against each other, the married duo Elenowen, and Jared Blake, saying to them: “This isn’t working. You’re trying to outsing each other.” Well Blake, considering you and you alone (Reba sure was a huge help, wasn’t she?) are going to determine who will be moving on to potentially achieve their dreams of becoming insanely wealthy as recording artists based on a song you chose to be performed in a boxing ring as they try to shine brighter than the other person singing the same song. The question is: Why wouldn’t they be trying to outsing one another?

In the end, Cee-Lo coached Nakia over Tje and Blake advised Jared Blake over Elenowen, who now return to their basement to live in obscurity for the rest of their married lives. I guess they should have tried harder not to outsing their competition.

The third battle involved Adam Levine’s “teammates”, Angela and Javier. Angela says she’s excited to perform with Javier because he’s so good, but she’s also scared…..because he’s so good. Exactly. Coach Levine chose “Stand By Me” because it’s a simple song where the two performers could really stand out, but that didn’t happen. At all. Angela had as good a chance of winning this one as Arnold has of winning a Husband of the Year award. Not only that, it showed just how awkward these battle performances are, as Angela and Javier actually did stand next to one another in an oddly touching performance. Unfortunately, during all of this warm and fuzziness, Angela vocally shrunk back and hid in Javier’s shadow, never giving herself a chance to be noticed on-stage, no less win the battle. Javier is clearly a contender to win this show, and I would be more excited for him if only I knew what that meant.

Voice Advisor GrowlsThis week’s final performance pitted first round stand-out, bald rocker Beverly, against I don’t remember this guy at all Justin. Christina chose The Who’s “Baba O’Reilly” for them to sing. The only way Christina could have been any more transparent in who she wanted to win this battle is if she had Sia club Justin in the throat during his walk up to the stage – at least this way, Sia would have been shown doing something. Personally, I thought Justin won this one, but I seemed to be alone in this assessment. Christina stated in a recent interview with Matt Lauer on the Today show, that she genuinely liked the concept of The Voice because she could be a coach and not a judge. If one thing this show has failed at, it is presenting to the viewer any actual coaching that goes on, yet Christina certainly seemed to judge this performance by giving the victory to Beverly. At least she blew a kiss to her former teammate, Justin, as he picked up his dreams and walked off stage.

So after two weeks of these awkward singing battles, each of the coaches/not-judges have sent two of their teammates into the Live Performance Third Round and another two (three if you count Blake’s ditching of both members of Elenowen) packing. I’m sure all of them will be cheering on their former teammates from the comfort of their parent’s basement.

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