Listen, I write for a TV site, so I obviously love the medium of TV. It is a constant source of entertainment for the five minutes a day that I don’t work, and it is nice to know we have access to such entertainment when and where we want it. Thing is, even though I write for a TV site and love most TV, that does not mean I love all TV. I thought it might be great fun for once for me to spit some venom here, which I rarely do. Here are five TV shows that need to go away forever. And ever. And ever ever. Sorry, but there has to be some coal among the diamonds I usually talk about. That’s only fair.
The Real Housewives of Wherever They Are From
A show that brings out the worst of the worst people, and then plays that up. I feel like this show is literally, set to doom our civilization. Some alien will pick up on the frequency and watch it, thinking it sums up all humanity. After five seconds, they will decide to obliterate Earth because, per that show, we are the worst things in the world and need to be exploded. Would you even blame them at that point? This show needs to crawl under a couch and die.
Hey, I have an idea? How about we make High School Musical into a show, only make it even more dramatic, and squeeze out any fun and self aware cheesiness? Cool. Now how about we have them sing awful pop songs, but sing them even worse than we all remember them? Oh, and we will throw in a kid in a wheelchair, but make sure he is played by someone who doesn’t need a real wheelchair. Nope, sorry, time to go.
Every “This Is A Real Tough Job” Show on Discovery and such
Like Gold Mine Diggers and Ice Road Truckers and Deep Sea Dancers and Ice Road Miners and Fish Sea Roading and Ice Fish Truckers and so on and so forth. I understand that somewhere, there is someone doing a tough, blue collar job that may end up getting them killed. But guess what, the world does not need every one of these jobs to have their own show. Just not something that perks me up after a long day at work. Watching more work. Nah, I’m good.
Love and Hip Hop
Hey, you know what the world wants to see? Couples who hate each other and use each other and manipulate each other, but are also millionaires with no morals or even depth of character. Reality TV needs to stop focusing on gross, broken relationships, or we will have future generations who just think that stuff is normal. Nope, bah bye.
Keeping Up with the Cowdashians
Sorry, but I just won the internet for the day based on way-too-easy wordplay.
[Photo via FOX]