Would you want these guys teaching your kids? Well, Jack would be all right, but Dan is another matter entirely. When our heroes are assigned to the “Junior Officers” program, you just know that this isn’t going to go well. Especially when the episode opens with the two of them jumping out windows in order to avoid being shot.
Three days before that, Jack is making doubly sure that Ruiz wants Dan dealing with children; Ruiz tells him that Dan has an “alarming” ability to persuade kids to become cops. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be impressed or disturbed by that. Yet he goes and delivers his motivational speech to a group of ten-year-olds while Jack looks on cautiously and tries to correct the misconceptions he gives them. Liz happens to see this unfold and thinks Jack likes kids now, which makes her reconsider him…while Dan runs the kids through a practical boot camp and pelts them with Nerf arrows.
This isn’t, however, totally a useless exercise, as one of the would-be cops tells the twosome about a suspicious character he saw committing mail theft a day earlier (complete with subtitles in the kid’s handwriting). Jack deduces this could be the precursor to identity theft. They go through the evidence that the kid recovered, including a credit card receipt with the name “Jeffrey Eastin” on it, much to the amusement of White Collar fans everywhere. Running his credit card shows them that Eastin has been buying lots of drugs overseas, so he’s ripe for the busting. When they go to his last known address, a chase ensues, but the guy Dan tackles doesn’t match their suspect’s description. He’s the real Jeffrey Eastin, and he tells them how his identity was swiped.
Further investigation into other fraudulent charges leads them to a pizza place that has an address for their suspect, whose actual name is Vic (Silas Weir Mitchell). Vic is having a chat with his partner-in-crime Alfredo, played by the always awesome Danny Trejo (Con Air). Alfredo and his buddy Tico (Jacob Vargas) are Mexican drug runners who are plotting to cross the border and do the various dastardly things they do.
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