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Straight from the land of shiny new laptops (huzzah!) comes more murder, mayhem, and mystery as the Sheriff tries to determine if Kelly's death was indeed an accident, and sweet revenge is had by one of the wedding guests.

Previously: Hunter's on the Island, he's a bad guy, but Wellington's brought him to break up Henry and Trish. Cal got strung up by a hunter's trap and Sully left him there so he could flirt with Chloe. Kelly and Abby bonded over their dead mothers and Abby didn't let Kelly's belief that Wakefield was still alive deter her from offering to let the girl live in LA with her. She also noted that JD an Kelly were sleeping together. Lucy fell in a pit trap and got bar-b-que'd, her dog, Gigi's, fate is unknown. And last, but not least, Kelly was found hanging from a rafter in her home - apparently a suicide. Or was it?

The dead: Cousin Ben (never seen), Uncle Marty, the preacher, Kelly, Lucy...and yet Cal and Chloe still live. I'm trying hard not to be disappointed by the fact.

After our obligatory opening shots of island porn, the camera drifts lightly over the bikini-clad body of Abby, floating in the inn's pool serenely. She looks up and sees Beth who I'd forgotten was on this show except for her pic in the character gallery. she invites Beth in and Beth laughs as the serenity of the moment is completely broken by the gaggle of groomsmen who just took flying leaps into the pool. Shenanigans ensue as the camera begins wandering around, showing Wellington and Katherine sipping champagne and finally settling on Richard, watching Katherine and Wellington sipping champagne from a distant balcony. If you think it sounds creepy, you're probably right.

Henry comes up behind Richard asking him how he can manage to deal with marrying into the Wellington clan. His answer is vague, much like his personality at this point, and mostly revolves around Shea and Madison being happy and well cared-for. When asked about his own happiness he replies, "Well you just...find a way." The camera pans back to Wellington and Katherine, and yes, that falling anvil means it's really on Katherine.

It's time for skeet-shooting with the Wellingtons. Ka-blam! (But not the one we're looking for.) Unsurprisingly, Mr. Wellington is quite adept and Trish cheers her father on, while slyly suggesting that Henry take a shot at "dethroning the king". He looks as though he's considering it as Wellington misses his final shot. He is not amused by this as Henry takes his place.

Meanwhile Madison's in a flowerbed, pulling the blooms off the flowers and tossing them into the brush. She's practicing being the "flower girl", see? Shea tries to tell her to stop, but Richard excuses it, it's not like she has anyone her age to play with. At least she's not burning snails anymore.

As Henry starts setting up, a message is delivered to him. Trish watches as he reads it with a serious expression and she walks up, asking if everything's OK. Anyone with eyes can see it's not, but love is blind and today, so is Trish so she believes him when he shrugs it off. As her father asks if Henry's ready she reminds him that he has a toast to write for that evening, thanking Wellington for his hospitality. Oh, that should be fun. Henry gets set and with a peck on the cheek, Trish cheers him on. He gets in tying distance with Wellington and Richard asks him if he has what it takes. Katherine smirks in his direction and that pair already creep me right the hell out and we haven't even gotten to the "good parts" yet.

In case you didn't see it coming a mile away, Henry chokes, I choose to believe intentionally.

At the local medical center/coroner's office, the Sheriff is asking the local doc to do an autopsy. The Doc's sad, he delivered Kelly, now he has to do her post. As he pulls down the sheet, we see one of her tattoos, it's of The Tree with the words, "John Wakefield, John Wakefield, Come back for me." Creepy, yes, but not as much as this next bit. As the Sheriff and the Doc chat, the Doc checks her eyes. Calling the Sheriff over, the camera gives us a beautiful shot of Kelly's dead face and REALLY blood-red eyes. That? Is not petechial hemmoraging. That? Is the showrunner's deliberate attempt to shake me off. Teeth and eyes, my two weaknesses, but I will not be deterred and that cap will be in the end gallery.

…SLICE! Titles, “One by one…”

Jesus Christ, he's sticking a needle in her eye for a sample! That's NOT FAIR, show. But the camera thankfully cuts away as the doc begins to list off some facts. The red in her eyes is not exactly typical (ya think!?), there's some skin beneath her fingernails (JD's, but you already guessed that, right?), and there is evidence of sexual activity. They are setting JD up so hard for this fall, it's not even funny.

We cut back to pool shenanigans as Chloe and Cal appear, Cal moving a bit awkwardly after spending the majority of the previous day upside-down. Sully can't imagine what she sees in him and Abby helpfully provides the "he's a nice guy" defense. Sully doesn't buy it and swims off to the end of the pool where the C&C Annoyance Factory have arranged themselves. I find it amusing to note that Cal's in slacks and button-down and vest...and Chloe's in a bikini. We're getting a lot of skin in this episode folks. Once there, Sully delivers the most half-assed apology EVER, culminating with the offer to buy Cal a beer. The couple are about as impressed as I am and neither says a word to him as he sloooowly swims away, watching Chloe the entire time. Back with the group, the wedding party is still kidding around when the Sheriff shows up, asking to talk to Abby.

She doesn't look happy, but nods.