TV’s Eight Greatest Bald Guys

picard_final

When you really think about, there aren’t too many prominent bald figures out there.  I mean yeah you’ve got Mr. Clean but who else is a driving force in the bald community?  Larry David? And not only that, people who are actually bald.  As in lost their hair naturally and don’t just shave it.   I mean sure you’ve got Michael Jordan to look up to but I’m just not feeling the bald vibe in our country.  But what if we move baldness to television?  There I think we’ve got a different story.  Unfortunately, not all are prime examples of manliness and strong moral character.  Here are our eight favorite bald guys from TV.

8 ) George Bluth – Arrested Development

George Bluth Sr. was the not-so-beloved patriarch of the Bluth family during the days of Arrested Development. He had a twin brother with a “mane” for a head of hair, which he promptly shaved so he could switch places with him to get out of jail. Oh brotherly love.

7) John Locke – Lost

John Locke isn’t exactly as concerned with his missing hair as he is with finding enlightenment and answers about the island. Great thinkers are always bald: Buddha, Gandhi…midde-aged Jesus.

6) Kevin – The Office

To be fair, Kevin is more though of as “the fat guy” or “the dumb guy” around the office, rather than “the bald guy.” That just happens to be an unfortunate bonus.

5) Mr. Garrison – South Park

Throughout the many seasons of South Park, we’ve learned that Mr. Garrison has been bald since childhood, and even retained the look when he changed sexes. Maybe wigs irritate his scalp?

4) Tony Soprano – The Sopranos

Guess how many people ever made a crack about Tony Soprano being bald? Zero. And if anyone did, they probably found themselves in pieces in the nearby freezer soon after.

3) Jean-Luc Picard – Star Trek: The Next Generation

Captain Picard made baldness badass during his years aboard the USS Enterprise. A fearless leader and a commanding presence on the bridge, he proved that you don’t need hair to get respect.

2) Homer Simpson – The Simpsons

Homer Simpson gives bald guys everywhere a bad name as fat, lazy, idiotic slobs. But a fun fact about him, from the right angle, what little hair he does have (along with his ear) spells out “M G” after his creator Matt Groening.

1) George Costanza – Seinfeld

Everyone looked at Jason Alexander as the short, balding George Costanza and said, if he can do it, why can’t I? But sadly, most short, pudgy, bald guys won’t pull seven figure salaries. George himself wasn’t exactly an inspiration, but it’s who most people will cite if you push them to name someone follicly challenged. He’s a weasel, a liar and an all around terrible human being, and now it’s up to you, real world bald people, to prove the stereotype wrong.

Honorable Mention: Lex Luthor in Smallville and Larry David – the reason Larry isn’t up here is because he’s a real person.

*Walter White counts but not really because he had to shave his head.  It wasn’t really that natural.  If it were he’d probably be number one on this list.



One Response

  1. Bill Friedman February 15, 2016

Leave a Reply

NBA Star Dwyane Wade Has His Own Facebook Reality Show Now
Get to Know the Stars of “Flip or Flop Fort Worth”
What We Know about the Galaxy Quest TV Series
Replacing Kevin Spacey with Kevin James in House of Cards
Sony Lands Quentin Tarantino’s Next Film
What the Critics are Saying about Justice League
Titanic To Return To Theaters as a Remastered Version
What We Know about the “Dune” Reboot So Far
Keyboard Legend Geddy Lee: Rush’s Many-Layered Musical Genius
Keyboard Legend John Paul Jones: Led Zeppelin’s Signature Classicist
Guy Makes Indian Classical Music Covers of Famous Movie Scores
The Top Uses of Roy Orbison Songs in Movies or TV
LaVar Ball’s New 16,000 Square Foot House Tour Will Annoy You Even More
Watch Marshawn Lynch Bulldoze High School Players at Oakland Tech
Russell Westbrook And Nick Collison’s ‘White Men Can’t Jump’ Halloween Costumes Are Perfect
My Secret “Albert Pujols Was on Steroids The Whole Time” Conspiracy Theory
So This is the Guy Who Yelled “Finish Him” in Mortal Kombat
Tekken 7’s Surprise Fighter: Noctis Lucis Caelum
Injustice 2 to Introduce the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Harry Potter Wizards Unite: Harry Potter’s Magic is About to Take over Your Phone
How in the World is Idris Elba Not Voted Sexiest Man Alive?
Five Things You Didn’t Know about Kelly Marie Tran
Five Things You Didn’t Know about Brian Krause
Mark Hamill Surprises Fans at Star Tours in Disneyland