Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Processional

Like the title card says, a long string of cars drive sedately down the road, escorted by cops on bikes. We zoom in on Walsh, who seems to have a suspiciously flat tire. Right on cue, the Connor family product placement rumbles up and Derek offers him a ride. As they drive, the interrogation begins. Walsh claims to be an OSHA inspector, which seems a bit odd to Derek, as he’s wearing a police class ring on his hand. Nevertheless, Derek lets it pass so he can ask some awkward questions about the investigation and how “people” are saying it’s not an accident. That something else was going on up there. It’s horribly blatant and so it comes as no surprise that first chance he gets, Walsh bails to walk the rest of the way. Derek resists the urge to facepalm. I don't.

In another car, Sarah’s lying, saying the shed was empty and it’s all the opening Diana needs to go on some more about how she didn’t know her husband. But on the upside, she happens to be the last person he called. Tearfully, she plays the voice-mail for Sarah, who manages (barely) to tamp down the guilty looks as she listens to the audio of her fight with Dead Ed. Diana’s weeping openly and I’m beginning to wonder exactly how much guilt Sarah will take before she breaks.

In yet ANOTHER car, John and Cameron have hitched a ride with Zoe and her driver, Henry. Zoe wonders what would happen if they just skipped the funeral stuff and went driving, all the way to the Grand Canyon. It’s the perfect opening for Small-Talk-John, who has a cute story about a Grand Canyon mule eating his spare shirt. He doesn’t realize that he doesn’t get the extra points unless he brought slides. It’s all just an elaborate set up for our next bit of clue revealing, but it’s still more interesting than most of the John/Riley relationship, so I’ll let it go. Now that we’ve established Zoe’s interest in the Grand Canyon, she can tell us about the postcard she got from there. From Henry’s near-violent reaction to it, I’m guessing “Mike” is Zoe’s ex, a good guy...except he ditched her.

“You wanna see something really messed up?”

As she talks, we flash to Sarah in the shed who’s looking at lacrosse sticks while Zoe narrates that Mike played lacrosse before he took off. Curious, John asks what happened. His mom violated a confidentiality agreement at work, and they had to leave. Sarah nudges the bloody towels with her toe, and the audience is left to wonder if “leave” really means, “was removed”. She only got  a postcard from the Grand Canyon a few weeks afterward. Roger snits some more, and Cameron decides now is a good time to state the obvious in her own sun-shiny way and tell him that Zoe doesn’t love him. Deciding he’s had enough, Roger stops the car and a mini melee breaks out until John exits, pretty much yanks Roger out and tosses him in the backseat. John at the wheel, Zoe decides she doesn’t want to go to another funeral. “You wanna see something really messed up?”

The answer to that question is always and forever, "yes," and we find ourselves back at the pool of dead cattle. Apparently some days they’re there, and the next they’re gone. “Like Mike?” “Like Mike.” They verbally wander past all the usual suspects, bullets, water, and finally leave the scene with an ambiguous trail off and a pretty camera angle...except for the dead cow in the foreground, that is, the cast looked pretty.