Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

God, are you there? It's me, Sarah.

This week, it’s like Wedding Crashers, only not so much, as the Connor Clan divides and lies their way into the funeral proceedings for several of the warehouse employees. John and Cameron hit up a quippy teen, Sarah hits up a grieving widow – because, yeah that won’t bring up any issues after last week, and we find out Derek su-hucks at this game. In other news: I get to introduce you to Savannah. Who is she you might ask? She’s the kid who’s mother is currently being played by the undercover T-1001, Catherine. Yeah, she’s not going to need therapy, AT. ALL.

Previously: Sarah broke into a warehouse, got shot in the leg, and saw something hovering over her before passing out. John and Derek are Doubting Thomases, but being shot gives Sarah a bit of a leg to stand on, so it was Derek to the “rescue” as John had to sit back and baby-sit Riley. John Henry (J.H.) found the internet, and an unscrambled phone call from said warehouse – this makes Catherine angry, and you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry. So it’s “Catherine, stab!”, until she finds the explosives. Then it’s just pretty CGI. All caught and ready to go, right?

Oh, look – we get scene titles again! This one reads: Vigil
(Terminator – making page breaks easy since 2009.)

The clan’s driving in the family product placement, listening to the radio announcer recap the tragic explosion “last week”. This will attempt to explain what I bet will be Sarah’s distinct lack of a bullet-induced limp this week, any takers? Certainly not the radio announcer, who goes on to say that a vigil and funeral services are being held in Charm Acres, the company town. Charm Acres? I...I...aw, man that’s just precious, ain’t it? But Sarah’s not impressed with the quality of exposition so she turns off the radio so we can continue with the scene and the driving...right past a suspicious pool of water surrounded by dead cattle that I’m sure has no relevance to the plot whatsoever.

Arriving at the aforementioned vigil, we see extra-enlarged pictures of the dead, surrounded by flowers and mourners and Cameron, spouting today’s random Terminator fact. “Native Americans believe that when their pictures are taken, their souls are stolen and locked in the photographs forever.” Derek snits, “I think you’re safe,” and moves off to mingle in the crowd. Meanwhile, John tells his mother he hates funerals. She counters that she hates Skynet. Skynet trumps funerals and Sarah tells John to go find someone to talk to. But he’s not convinced this is a great idea, after all everyone who was out there is dead. Everyone except me, Sarah corrects, and, again, Sarah wins. They need to find someone, a wife, husband, son, or daughter who can give them a clue as to what was really going on out there. John nods sullenly and walks off.

Scanning the pictures, Sarah sees a familiar face – it’s the man she killed when she broke into the warehouse. She stares at the picture as Derek walks up, “You’d never guess that he’d have it in him.” Sarah disagrees; she seems to be doing that a lot today, and claims that she can see it. Since the photo looks like a mugshot, it’s easy to see her point.

John wanders about and sees a lone teenage girl sitting on a park bench. He asks if he can sit and she says it depends, is he going to say silly things? ...nope, no comment, way too easy. She means the normal funeral platitudes, and John promises to refrain, introducing himself and sitting down. Zoe, ever the snarky one, asks John if he knew someone, or if he’s a sucker for a “homey, small town vigil.” John’s cover is that his Mom used to work at the plant, so they came to pay their respects. She calls him a Funeral Crasher. John looks a bit chagrined as she looks over his shoulder, “Am I crazy, or is that girl creepily staring at us?” John looks over and sure enough, Cameron’s picked this week to remember she’s John’s bodyguard, and she’s watching the pair, unmoving. Closing his eyes (to conceal the roll of his eyes, no doubt), John tells Zoe that it’s his sister. She doesn’t like it, John commiserates, and so Zoe changes the subject, pointing out her mom. Zoe’s dad worked at the factory. John tries to offer condolences and Zoe verbally tramples right over him, talking about the suit she picked out this morning to bury her dad in. On cue, her stalwart friend-who-is-a-boy, Henry, approaches to let her know they’re about to do the candle lighting. Now, color me confused, but aren’t candlelight vigils supposed to be held, I dunno, at night or something? In any case, he’s not amused that John’s there and walks away from John’s proffered hand. John wonders if he’s her boyfriend, and Zoe quips, “You know, he keeps applying for the job, I’m just not hiring.” She leaves after telling John it was nice to meet him. Sweetie, I'm betting that feeling doesn't last.

A man with glasses is giving a reading as Derek moves through the crowd, looking at the memorials. He sees a woman approach Sarah, still looking at the image of the man she killed. As he begins to move toward them a guy right out of the “Shady Dudes” section of Central Casting bumps into him. The man mumbles an apology and moves on, but it was enough to pique Derek’s interest so we now he has his assignment.

Back at the photo, the woman who was walking up to Sarah mentions that he never liked having his photo taken. Guess that explains the sullen serial killer look, then. Sarah goes to leave, but the woman keeps her there. She thinks it’s nice to see a stranger when all she sees are her friends and the people they’ve lost. “All I see is what’s missing.” Sarah introduces herself and we meet Diana “Did you know my husband?” Winston. Sarah’s killer flashback tells us, yes she met Diana’s husband.

...and title card! Da-da-dum-da-dum! Clank!