There was one burning question fans of Vanderpump Rules had on their minds throughout the docusoap’s inaugural season and last night it was finally answered. At long last, we found out who got the boot from the illustrious SUR staff, but seriously unless you’ve been in a liquor induced coma for the past week and a half then you already knew Frank, the worst excuse of a frat boy ever, was the unfortunate recipient of a top spot in the unemployment line. Although as much as the epic SUR firing has been sort of a big secret throughout the season, it only served as a sidebar to the dramatics that took center stage in last night’s episode.
No Sex in the SUR V.I.P. Bathroom/Jax Comes Clean… About Laura-Leigh
Between the previews and the sneak peek clip involving Jax and Laura-Leigh’s romp in someone’s bathroom, I deduced that Lisa was given the same footage in the previews showing Jax and Laura-Leigh entering the powder to ‘freshen up’ a bit. Even though I was wrong in that assumption (the preview clip was Jax and L.L. doing the do at another restaurant), Lisa still had it on good authority that the horny toads did in fact knock boots in a SUR V.I.P. bathroom. Apparently, a security guard walked in on the two and reported the incident to management, leaving fans and Lisa wondering why didn’t Jax and L.L. have the common sense to simply lock the bathroom door.
However after Lisa read them the riot act for their lack of judgement (which they kept denying with innocent bunny eyes and all), Jax made two mistakes that will (or should) come back to bite him in the ass. For starters, he admitted to the camera that he and Laura-Leigh did in fact have sex in the SUR bathroom, which was odd (dumb?) since Lisa clearly told them how they would be unemployed if she ever found out if it was true. I mean, it doesn’t mean much, but I don’t like it when people try to make Lisa Vandepump look stupid, so I hope she called him out for that. As for the second thing? Jax actually admitted to Lisa how Laura-Leigh was not his girlfriend. The sad part? Laura-Leigh obviously did not get that particular memo.
Now don’t get it twisted. I pegged Laura-Leigh as Jax’s answer to Stassi’s rebound with Frank from day one, but I’m more amazed at how far Jax took his ‘relationship’ by not informing Laura-Leigh on what the deal was from gate. Then there was the charade he put on for the other staff members of SUR (well except the Tom-Tom twins and Peter) on how happy he was with L.L. as if she was the best thing since a vodka tonic. With that piece of information, it’s really hard to root for Jax in any scenario from this point on, because he is a snake and he’s done something that I am highly irate over: He proved Stassi right.
Lisa Gave Frank the Boot/Stassi Met Her Match in Frank… And Didn’t Like It One Bit.
Word got around quick on how Frank 1) rudely chastised a customer for being in SUR if they couldn’t pay their tab, which Frank overcharged him for; 2) called the customer’s girlfriend ugly; and 3) threatened to pull the man’s underwear over his head and embarrass the guy in front of said girlfriend. After hearing that list of dumbass behavior, I’m shocked Frank even still had a job when he left SUR that night. In theory he didn’t, but still, he would have known that his goose was overcooked to the point that not even a McDonald’s would hire him if he applied.
But if Frank had have been let go off camera, we wouldn’t have had the most awesome scene with Lisa getting deep in his ass for his frat boy-ish behavior, which led to another revelation that sent me reeling for a split second: Frank is basically a male version of Stassi. Think about it. He’s snide for no reason, thinks less of those around him, doesn’t have a filter, and is pretty much a psycho ready to be activated. Luckily, the mere fact that Frank was nowhere near phased when Lisa fired him set off warning bells in Stassi’s narcissistic, yet petulant little mind, but it wasn’t enough for Stassi to put some much-needed brakes on the rapidly collapsing relationship at that point in time.
Speaking of which, Stassi shouldn’t have introduced Frank to her parents, who were just as eager to use Frank as a metaphorical mouthwash to rinse Jax out of their systems. The sad part was how Frank didn’t even cringe, blush, or look remotely nervous while gloating about being fired from SUR (yea, he might be some sort of realtor or something, but he wasn’t bartending just for the hell of it. If he was, then it goes to show just how much of a prick the guy is, but I digress). If I was Stassi’s father, I would have thrown another glass of beer in Frank the Tank’s face for acting as if being jobless while dating my daughter was a joke. We are in a recession, meaning no one is buying houses like that and Frank better pray there is a decent upswing in the real estate business soon. If not, I’ll gladly go visit and laugh in his face at the unemployment office.
- Katie and Stassi kissed and made up, while Kristen sat on the side wondering how did she end up there and why wasn’t she invited to the bonding session. If anything, Kristen needs to stay firm and wait for Stassi to make the first move towards her. Although snitching on Stassi at the beginning of the episode was a bit of Kristen, but still… Keep hope alive, Kristen!
- We found out that Stassi used to be a goth girl, which probably explains her nonstop psychotic tendencies in her confessionals. Not saying that all goths are demented, but there are some who take it to a whole other level.
- Frank went off on Lisa’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-star Kyle Richards?! Where and when did this happen and how did this guy even get a mention on Vanderpump Rules?!
- Loved the opening montage of the group and their different aspirations. Very Melrose Place-esque with a bit of the dearly departed The L.A. Complex thrown in. It’s good to hear that Lisa wants her staff to succeed in their dreams and not be waiters/waitresses/bartenders all their lives. Why can’t more managers be that way?
So what did you think about this episode of Vanderpump Rules? Should Lisa have fired Jax and Laura-Leigh? Does Stassi just need to choose herself for once? Will the gang all be best buds again? Do you even care?
Photo Credit: BravoTV.com