Yes, I said Squirrels, talented Squirrels at that. Will Howard hurt the Squirrel’s feelings? Will Sharon kiss it? Will Howie spontaneously grow hair? For the answers to these questions and more you will need to tune into America’s Got Talent tonight at 9PM EST on NBC. Just do yourself a favor, don’t build up your hopes for the Squirrel to lay out some Susan Boyle level opera riffs, he skis–and we have video proof right here:
Howard: Well guys, I don’t know about you, but we might as well call the contest right now. We have our winner right here.
Sharon: But Howard, the viewers haven’t voted yet.
Howard: F*ck the viewers.
Twiggy the Water-Skiing Squirrel is definitely a star in my book, and if things don’t work out on America’s Got Talent I smell a spinoff worthy of the Peacock brand: Marsupial’s Got Talent. Hey at least he isn’t a member of a dance crew. Speaking of dance crews:
Yeah, cute kids dancing their heiny’s off … must be either America’s Got Talent or a piece of evidence from the Jerry Sandusky trial (pa-tat!). But seriously, these kids can dance right? Just like the million. other. dance … moving on:
We finish off our America’s Got Talent preview with two videos not for the faint of heart. First, the amazing American BMX Stunt Team. What makes them so amazing is they are the fiftieth audition this season to make Howard Stern say they were the “Best” he’d ever seen. I love Howard. He sees the best in everything.
And finally the beautiful and flexible Lindsey Norton, whose Jell-O joints and rubber tendons are sure to impress the America’s Got Talent audience. Don’t forget to tune in tonight at 9PM on NBC to check out the numerous other ‘talents’ on display.