Bones 4.24: The Beaver in the Otter

On the road to Middlesex… college, Bones tells Booth that Beaver belonged to Beta Delta Sigma, the same frat that is suspected of stealing the cadaver. Coincidence? Booth doesn’t think so. Bones insists that statistically the sheer number of students having attending Middlesex allows for the probability that the theft was committed by another party. Booth tells her that he was that guy and he knows frats. BSD is the guilty party.

Booth runs the first interview the homecoming council, who arranged the bonfire. They are in a storage area, assembling a big float for some parade or half-time show or something. Three of the guys and ROTC Greg stuffed the costume and Molly organized the band and the publicity. The bonfire is a tradition. They had no idea that somebody put Beaver in the otter.

Meanwhile, back at the lab, Hodgins and Vaziri are still digging bits and pieces out of the body. The blunderbuss was full of stuff. Vaziri pulls out nuts and bolts and a computer memory stick. He is horrified at the violence. ‘Who could do something like this?”Oh, any bomber who ever lived,’Hodgins retorts. ‘Did you say that because I’m Muslim?’Vaziri asks suspiciously. Well, if the stereotype fits… Vaziri lists off a long, long line of domestic terrorists grown in the good, old US of A and blows Hodgins theory right out of the water. But enough intercultural debating. Vaziri’s latest find is a bullet. That’s a much more efficient weapon than a blunderbuss, wouldn’t Hodgins agree? Hodgins does.

Booth and Sweets arrive at Animal House. They question Beaver’s frat brothers and are introduced to Eli Rounder, Beaver’s frost. I guess he’s a mini Beaver-buddy. Sweets asks what Beaver was like. The bros tell him that everybody liked Beaver. Imagine that, a house full of 19-year old boys and they all like Beaver. I never would have guessed. Oh, give me a break, you knew the Beaver jokes were coming. Ha, got you again.

Sweets clarifies his question. He doesn’t want to know if Beaver was liked; he wants to know what he was like. Head Frat Boy Robert Hooper says that the Beaver was exactly like a great guy who everybody liked. ‘Except the faculty,’Eli adds. The Beaver was on academic probation.

Booth asks if Beaver had a girlfriend. He’s spotted the scoreboard and Beaver has at one star beside his name. Sweets asks if the stars are for the number of times the guys had sex or the number of girls they had sex with. It’s the number of girls. Sweets tries to reason with a room full of horny frat boys about whether it is better to have sex once with a lot of girls or find a girl who would want to have sex with them more than once. Good luck with that, Sweets. Booth cuts to the chase. Which girl had sex with the Beaver? Molly Briggs, ROTC Greg’s girlfriend, coincidentally the guy who organized the bonfire.

Meanwhile, back at the lab, Bones is offended about the scoreboard. Booth tries to excuse the boys’behaviour. There is no excuse, but he tries. Booth says that this is the first time that these boys are on their own. They have to be bad in order to figure out what bad is. It’s a scientific fact that a horny frat boy’s frontal lobe is the size of a raisin. Bones says that is not a fact, but it is in the Booth-zone. Anyway, he continues, they have to build up their brain size by learning from bad decisions.

Expecting Sweets to back him up, Booth asks what Sweets picked up from the frat house. Bones says that Sweets couldn’t ‘pick up’anything — he’s not a radio. Booth says he kind of is; that’s why he took them. Sweets identifies three boys who weren’t truly sad about Beaver’s demise. Real grief comes and goes; these guys had sad faces on the whole time. Bones offends him by telling him that he is just guessing because everyone knows that psychology isn’t a real science and he might as well be Carnac. Sweets gets offend back and says, ‘Fine, I’m a Magic 8-ball.’ And Bones officially reverts to having no social skills again.

Before Booth can smack the twit upside the head as she rightly deserves, Cam arrives. The bullet they pulled from the body is a .22, which is the same caliber as ROTC small arms.

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