Bones 4.24: The Beaver in the Otter

Half-time report. Beaver was found in an otter. Suspects include ROTC Greg, Molly and a cougar of unknown origin.

Angela decoded the notebook. Bones and I were wrong. Beaver’s bookmaking brought in $12,000 so far this year. And three guys owe him $3000 each. I’ll bet that those three guys are the same ones who Sweets said showed no grief. Hurray, I’m on the board! Angela also says she found evidence on Beaver’s computer (I hope she was wearing gloves) that showed Beaver hacked into the Chemistry department server and hacked the last exam. He’d hacked in three times previously as well.

Cam and Vaziri confer. Vaziri says that several off the fractures are old and were healing at the time of death, particular the fractures at Beaver’s tailbone and wrists. Vaziri ventures that Hodgins had an idea on how to figure out the height from which the victim fell. Cam is leery. ‘This will be good.’

Booth and Bones interview this week’s red herring, Professor Marlene Twardosh, who is a riot. She confirms that Beaver was about to be expelled. Bones asks if Beaver showed remorse for his lack of scholastic effort. ‘Do you mean did he beg, offer money, sexual favours?’Twardosh says. Bones says exactly. Did you boff the Beaver? Twardosh is stunned. ‘My God, you people are humourless.’No, she didn’t. Bones says that five people failed the professor’s last exam, all with the same mark. That is statistically unlikely. Twardosh tells Bones that she teaches chemistry. Yes, chemistry! If Bones wants statistics she should go to the math department. Bones states her belief that the professor knew she was hacked and planted a fake exam on line. Because if that were the case, she approves. Booth asks if Twardosh reported the hack. No, that would mean reports and conferences and students and parents. A lightbulb goes off over Bones’s head. Where is Twardosh’s office? On the third floor. Over grass? No, over flagstone. Oh, I’ll bet Bones is thinking she knows how Beaver got those fractures!

Sweets arrives at Booth’s FBI office and tells the agent that he has checked out the nicknames of three debtors. Considering ‘Beaver’and ‘Cougar’are already taken, I’m really glad that Booth doesn’t care. Booth rants again that his brother is ruining his life. ‘Is he drinking again?’Sweets asks in concern. ‘No, he wants to drive a motorcycle across India.’ Sweets says Booth is jealous. Booth feels trapped in his life by his job and personal relationships while Jared is free to be Jared. Booth scoffs at the shrink. Sweets says that Booth could always get his own bike. ‘Ha!’the agent says. But then he thinks about it.

Hodgins and Vaziri are alone in the lab. They are alone because the last time Hodgins ran an experiment and dropped something from the second storey balcony it bounced and hit Angela in the head. Cam comes around the corner and says, ‘No. No no no no no no. This is an unnecessary experiment and the results can be figured out mathematically. You can’t do this.’ Hodgins says he got that after the seven ‘no’s’. Cam says she’s learned he doesn’t listen the first 6 times. Vaziri says he is doing it to bond with Hodgins because Hodgins doesn’t trust Muslims. Cam tells Hodgins to take the intern out for a beer. Hodgins says Muslims don’t drink beer. He looks up to confirm this religious detail with his almost-partner-in-crime. Yup, no beer, Vaziri nods. Darn, I like Hodgins’s experiments.

Cam and Angela remain behind in the lab. One of them will have to babysit Bones while she looks at the bones until they talk to her. They make their decision with a very scientific game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. Cam loses 2 out of 3. And now we have our first musical montage in as long as I can remember watching this show. Bones picks up a bone, holds it to the light, twists it around and sets it down. Repeat. Cam brings Bones some coffee. More looking. As the song ends, Bones finally speaks. ‘Cam, Booth will want to know I found cause of death.’There is a hole in his sternum.

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