Bones 4.24: The Beaver in the Otter

Angela has determined that Professor Twardosh is not the cougar. Good, because I would have lost all respect for an otherwise cool herring. Also, the people who bought the exam were all on the golf team, and they were all away on a course at the time of the killing. Angela also informs Booth that Beaver didn’t have the skills to perform the hack. Booth tells them to find out who did while he takes a time-out to do something personal.

Booth and Jared are back in the diner. Booth gives Jared a laundry list of reasons he shouldn’t go to India. Jared says that if Booth is so concerned, maybe he should come to keep an eye on him. ‘Are you serious?’Booth asks. ‘I wasn’t but I am now. You wanna come to India with me?’ ‘Seriously?’ Booth, honey, you’re repeating yourself. Jared gives him a devastatingly sexy grin. Well, it would be sexy if Booth were a female and not related. ‘Balls in your court, brother.’

I guess they figured out who the hacker was. Sweets is talking to Eli in the interview room. Sweets is very understanding about what happened. Eli folds like a house of cards. ‘Beaver was my mentor. When he asks me to hack into the chemistry server, at first I said no. But he was my brother and he was going to be expelled.’ That’s okay, young Eli. Let’s move on. Our expert (Angela the artists who doesn’t ever draw anymore) says that there was some stuff erased off the hard drive. Eli cops to that too. ‘Thirty j-peg files,’Eli confirms. Beaver wanted four of the photos saved to a computer flashdrive. What — like the one pulled from Beaver’s body? What a coincidence! Eli says if the school finds out that he was the hacker, he’ll be expelled. Sweets tells him not to worry. He reports to FBI, not to Middlesex College.

Angela has tried to pull the files from the blunderbussed flashdrive but can only get two partial pictures. One is of Beaver. ‘Is he being tortured?’Bones asks. ‘No, that’s sex-face,’Booth clarifies. The other image is a woman of cougar age. Booth tells Angela to print the photo and they’ll check it against the faculty.

Bones and Vaziri look at the wound. The weapon was of a consistent width, and the lip on the aorta indicates that the weapon was pushed in and then withdrawn. Did somebody nail the Beaver? No, they nail-gunned him.

Booth talks to Dean Warner again. The dean recognizes the cougar. She is not faculty; she is his wife. Booth says that they figured that out. Mrs. Warner has been missing for a week. Why hasn’t the dean filled a missing persons report? Because he knows where she is. The dean sent her to stay at her sister’s while he handled the Beaver. It seems that Beaver was blackmailing the dean. If the dean expelled him, he would post the pictures on the internet. The dean wouldn’t submit to the Beav and was looking for the photos when the Beaver died.

Booth tells Bones that Jared has invited him on his Indian adventure. Bones tells him he can’t go. If he keeps protecting his brother, Jared’s frontal lobe will always be the size of a raisin. Booth must let him go and it grow.

Vaziri tells booth that the weapon was a nail gun. He examined all the nails they found in the body. He found one that was fired with a nail gun. Now they are able to match it to the nail gun. This will provide Booth with the murder weapon. Booth asks the intern why he is talking to Booth like he is in primary school. Vaziri admits that he was told to be very polite to Booth when providing scientific information. “How stupid to you think I am?” Booth asks Bones, Vaziri, and everyone else in hearing distance. Sweetie, haven’t you been watching the show this year? Anyway, the nail has a star on its head, and our intrepid crimefighters have seen this design before.

All the suspects are assembled back in the storage area. Booth and Sweets jump on the float. Booth takes a nail gun and fires it into a board on the float. Sweets watches the crowd when he does it. Molly flinches. Booth pulls the nail from the board and the star matches. Sweets points at Molly. “She’s the one you want.”

Back into the interview room. Beaver came up to Molly when she was working on the float. He said that since everybody already thinks they are having sex, she might as well give him a little some-some. Molly was already tired from working on the float and angry that she was doing it alone. Then Beaver stuck his tongue in her ear. That’s assault. Booth agrees. Molly turned around and fired the nail gun at him. She was sorry immediately. She told Beaver not to pull the nail out – she knew that you are supposed to leave impaled objects alone to be removed by professionals – but Beaver yanked it out. He bled to death right there. She didn’t know what to do, so she stuffed his body in the otter costume.

Bones and Sweets watch from the observation room. Bones says she’s impressed and she wants to know how Sweets knew it was Molly. “Why, you’ll just say I guessed.” And Sweets leaves the room, leaving Bones in suspense. Do you know how to leave a twit in suspense?

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In the bar, Jared looks across the table at his big brother. “You’re not coming.” Booth says he thought about it but decided it would be better if Jared went alone. Jared invites him to come along as a friend but Booth says he’s not Jared’s friend; he’s his big brother. That’s accurate but kinda harsh. In any case, Booth isn’t sending him out there entirely alone. Booth gives Jared a St. Christopher’s medal before Jared leaves on his grand adventure.

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Bones arrives and orders a drink. She asks Booth if he really believes a person has to be bad to be good. He does. She’s never done anything wrong. Ever. In her whole perfect law-abiding life. Well, sweetheart, that’s about to change. Booth explains the philosophy of the dine-and-dash. He gives Bones a headstart, and she takes off squealling, “Look at me! Committing a misdemeanor!” He runs out behind her, but not before leaving enough cash on the bar to cover the bill. They race through the parking lot with Bones happily unaware that the only person chasing her is Booth.



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