Defense Attorney Argues That Home Alone Booby Traps are Legal

It’s been 30 years since Home Alone was first released and made us crack up at the antics of two dumber than dirt burglars who were outwitted by a kid, but it’s amazing to think that some people now watching this as an adult would actually appear to take the side of Marv and Harry by stating that Kevin McAllister might have actually been in the wrong. You might be giving a look that says ‘Really?’ since the kid was defending his home and, at one point, himself. But a legal defense attorney has made it clear that when seen through the eyes of a juvenile the defense is pretty clear when it comes to the idea that Kevin was justified in what he did. His traps were vicious, that’s for certain, but when one looks at it this way, he might not have really understood the implications of what he was doing, and was simply trying to defend his home and himself, especially when it became obvious that Harry and Marv were no longer interested in pursuing their favorite hobby and were all about making it personal. The argument of why Kevin didn’t call the cops, as he had the chance, is an argument that many people have pushed, but the percentage of us that would call the cops versus those who would take action is skewed enough that many might support Kevin, even if some of his traps did make him appear to be a young Jigsaw in training.

His traps were concocted from the mind of a kid to be fair since it’s pretty common knowledge that placing toy cars all over the floor will hurt like hell to step on, and sticky tar all over a step will making walking up the stairs difficult. But it still doesn’t feel as though he had that much knowledge of what his actions would lead to since Harry and Marv should have been dead a few times over. Should we go through the list? The heated doorknob would have left Harry in need of medical attention, and the slip from the stairs would have certainly cracked vertebrae, possibly a rib or two, much as the slippery slide down the stairs would have done for Marv. The internal damage alone would have left both men unable to continue without tremendous pain being felt with every breath. But we’ll keep going. The blowtorch to the head would have been excruciating for Harry since the top of his head was simply engulfed. Then comes the crowbar when it fell on Marv, and then the iron which would have caved his face in, and the nail that would have wrecked his foot. The glue and feathers weren’t too bad, but if anyone’s ever stepped on a Christmas ornament then they’ll know that those thin, sharp pieces are tough to remove if they sink too deeply, and they can keep cutting since they are glass after all.

Then we get to a lot of peoples’ favorite part, the paint cans to the face. Massive facial trauma is the result if the paint cans were full, and by the way they hit, it’s likely that in the movie they were, which means that with the weight of the cans and the force they picked up by being flung over the balcony that Marv and Harry would have both been down and out once again. But in the cartoon-like fashion that this movie was filmed in, which was still funny as hell by the way, Harry simply lost a tooth and the two continued to struggle as they finally made their way to the top of the stairs, only for Harry to go flipping over a wire that he didn’t see in time, and Marv to dive at Kevin as he grabbed his ankle. Of course, the spider on the face would freak a lot of people out, but Marv’s attempt to crush the arachnid while it was on Harry’s chest would have resulted in a cracked breastbone, possibly more broken ribs, and definite internal damage.

It’s a pretty steep price to pay for a home that was supposed to be a simple smash and grab like usual, but like it or not, Kevin was apparently justified in the defense of his home by Illinois law, meaning that Harry and Marv had even less legal recourse to stand upon, which is less than what they had going into the house. Maybe taking a BB to the groin and then the forehead should have been a sign that this wasn’t the right house to target any longer since both men ended up being outwitted by a kid that had the law and a very sadistic streak on his side. People are still arguing about this if you can believe it.

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