Hilarious Collection of Honest Harry Potter Titles

These hilarious Harry Potter titles, which unfortunately are quite honest, could make a person think that someone at College Humor doesn’t like Harry Potter. Oh yes, it’s possible. Or it could just be a huge gag and we can all laugh and say, ‘yeah, that is pretty accurate’. When you look at it really Harry Potter wasn’t any real messiah or golden child that just needed guidance through his years at Hogwarts. He kind of fell into everything that came his way and at times really had something coming to him. But as it would be in a video game or, gasp, a movie, Harry always had someone looking out for him when the need arose. Man, I want someone there to pick up the slack when I start screwing up. That’d be awesome.

Let’s delve into these a little deeper, shall we?

So one thing you cannot, canNOT say that he was lucky about was his placement with the Dursley’s. Yes they were his family, but he might have had more kindness from a pack of wild dogs than that bunch. If you read the books it was even worse, but of course Rowlings made Harry sound like a lot more of a whiner than he ever did in the movies. Plus since it’s a kids movie Voldemort, aka Magic Hitler, can’t just up and kill him because that would, y’know, ruin the whole franchise.

Yeah, Lockheart was for the most part kind of useless, almost as bad as teats on a boar really. But who are the two numbskulls that went running off to take on whatever was in the Chamber of Secrets on their lonesome? It might have behooved them to shout at one of the teachers in charge until they decided to listen that they’d found the chamber and knew that it had been opened. But that’s not how these movies work.

I’m guessing Dumbledore either never heard of the butterfly effect or just doesn’t think it applies to the wizarding world. Of course it could be why Harry kept getting so lucky after they got back and was finally able to kill of Voldemort. I suppose things could have gone a lot worse if they’d let Buckbeak be executed. But still, is it really worth the risk?

Let’s toss a 14-year old boy into a magical contest that can kill him and not think twice about it. Why not? And by the way, I think I was more ready to pimp-slap Ron for passing up on an opportunity to ask Hermione to the dance than anything. The guy was acting like a world class prong. But then that of course was all part of being a teenager and the silly games they play, right? Ah the wizarding world isn’t much different than ours then.

So you know that your enemy is headed for the same thing you’re looking for and you know that you can’t possibly match him. But what you didn’t know is that those who CAN match them are watching your every move and are ready to pounce at just the right time. How lucky can one kid get?

The spell that had to be broken in order to get at the locket, that turned out to be fake, has to be one of the dumbest and most vindictive spells ever created. And seeing as how Dumbledore is that all mighty and powerful, why couldn’t he just dispel it or somehow cancel out the magic? Oh that’s right, because in this world you can create magic, and you can cure the ills it causes, but no one’s been smart enough to learn how to unravel it or simply dismiss it. I’m guessing not a lot of Harry Potter fans have ever played D&D.

Voldemort was a very adept student, he was smart enough to figure out how to create Horcruxes, and he was vicious enough that even saying his name made people afraid. But he wasn’t smart enough to figure out the point of a child’s tale? That might be chalked up to hubris, but otherwise it’s exploiting a bit of arrogance that should have ended the dark lord for good a long time ago.

The people at College Humor might have a point.

Posters via College Humor

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