The world’s oldest teenager, Jon Gosselin, is wasting no time trying to cement a permanent ten-year age reduction. The media-embattled co-star of Jon & Kate Plus Eight has sent signals that he wants his mid-life crisis (64 is kind of young to die, Jon) to go on forever. It’s all rumors now, of course, but the story goes like this: Jon has apparently bought Hailey Glassman, who was 19 when they first met, a $180,000 engagement ring. Must be a nice ring, right? Err, not so. Actually, the pricey engagement ring is said to feature a gold skull surrounded by black diamonds. That’s right. WTF.
There is a chance it isn’t true. An un-named source has told US magazine that the engagement rumor is 100% false. However, Jon’s people are giving the nefariously telling “No Comment.” To be fair, that could mean “duh, I have no idea what you are talking about…” in publicist speak. Really, though, does it even matter? It’s not like Jon can behave more badly, he’s already drawn the scorn of honorable men everywhere and he still doesn’t seem to get it. Look at the apartment he moved into: 2 bed rooms. Think he intends on having his kids over?
To be fair, there is a lot we don’t know about Jon – but not much. He’s on the cusp of middle age, was tethered to a huge and noisy family, and had a somewhat belligerent wife. In short, he was in the triathlon of “man-up” events. Jon is a symbol of how bad men can have it. Let’s face it, his was not a normal set of circumstances – lesser men certainly would have cut and run. Don’t worry though, I’m not letting Jon off the hook. I can’t have him giving Jon’s of the world a bad name. The fact is, not only was he a lesser man by cutting and running on his responsibilities as a husband and a father – which, again, I admit were gargantuan – but he did it with the swagger of a rock star who expected his adoring public to swoon over his every move and not find fault with him. We’re not supposed to think he’s a mean deadbeat dad when he sends signals like “two bedrooms, hundreds of miles away” to his kids? Being a father has now become work for Jon, he’ll fly down to PA to shoot his few days for the episode then hop on first class and jet back to his skull encrusted youth-nymph.