But before we get to that, we get to a poor guy getting arrested for auto theft, which we know he obviously didn’t commit. After getting out of jail, the guy comes to Nate to tell his sob story. He bought it used from a car dealership only to find out that it was stolen. I sense a scam. As Nate informs us, this is called car cloning. And when Hardison pegs the bad guy, there’s Bill Engvall playing Penzer. This is going to be an interesting episode.
Hardison has gotten the team a base at a tiny car dealership that they can take over. Cut to a racetrack where Nate is having way too much fun smoking Eliot’s car’s tires (with some help from everyone but Sophie playing pit crew). Who wouldn’t have fun with that, though? And there’s an EMP cannon! How cool is that? Nate and Penzer have a little race (complete with a good old Fast & Furious nitrous shot) and Hardison activates the EMP, frying Penzer’s car. Good times.
What follows is a thousand times funnier than the entire movie The Goods ever was. Sophie makes an excellent car salesperson with her grifting charm, Christian Kane gets to channel Kurt Russell, and Penzer hits on Sophie. Hardison and Parker are off making nice with the local car thieves, except for that Parker volunteers Hardison to break into an allegedly unbreakable car in less than two minutes. Luckily he pulls it off. While they’re in the chop shop getting the secrets of the game, Sophie makes nice with Penzer. Allegedly. She pretends to set up Nate and Penzer buys it hook, line and sinker, dispatching the car thieves to intercept Nate’s cars, meaning Parker and Hardison have to go find cars for them to steal. Oh, the irony.
There’s one minor hitch: Parker has taken pity on the youngest member of the car thieves and tipped her off to avoid the drop. This backfires as the girl squeals on them to Penzer. The car thieves then try to get the jump on Eliot at the drop site, and nearly do the same to Parker and Hardison. Everyone seems to have a gun aimed at them. Yet Eliot returns to rescue Parker and Hardison, and the tattletale car thief has a change of heart as she shows up to drive them to find Nate and Sophie. (But c’mon, this is Eliot — did you really think four guys were enough to take him out? No, you didn’t.)
Just as Penzer is about to have Nate and Sophie killed, in comes the cavalry, with Parker driving like her usual psychotic self from the week before. Apparently, she was a getaway driver before she was twelve. Her horrible driving attracts the attention of the police and she leads them right to Penzer, courtesy of LoJack (and Eliot with the EMP cannon causing a delayed reaction). Eliot helps Nate and Sophie escape (only after Sophie knees Nate allegedly to sell the action), and Penzer gets arrested. We find out in flashback all the cars were borrowed from a police golf tournament. Yeah, that’ll do it.
Nate gets the client cleared and gives him the keys to Penzer’s beloved racecar to boot. Not only that, but Parker brings along her new friend and manages to get the girl a job with the client. Everyone wins. Meanwhile, Nate tries to bogart Eliot’s car. You can guess how well that goes.
Next week: Tom Skerritt plays Nate’s dad! Lee Tergesen gets to be the bad guy and try to fight Eliot. Which will be more awkward? Start betting now.