Cam replays the scene in the Estrogen United locker room. Also known as the coffee alcove. “She said I wasn’t good enough for her dad!” Cam weeps to her teammates. Bones asks, “Did that bother you?” Cam says , “No, I”m crying because of the pollen count, moron.” The consensus is that men, even dead ones, are nothing but trouble. Angela concurs with “Despite the fact that I want to wrap my legs around one, men are awful.” So is your TMI attitude this week, chickie. I was going to put something in at this point about alternatives but then I saw the rest of the episode.
Hodgins approaches bravely, knowing that the future of his genetic line is at stake. “Before I flee with my life, there are scales in the wound. Snake scales.” Well, that’s a little odd. Angela invites him to stay but he escapes intact. Angela enjoys watching the back of his front as he hightails it out of there. “He has a great ass.” Well, then, you probably shouldn’t have dumped him now, should you?
Oddly again, the Pee de Big Cat turns out to be lion urine, not tiger. It’s used around the fences to ward off other predators. Conveniently, a photo of the Reptile House vehicle is displayed prominently in one of the crime scene photos, which leads the squints to notice a big ol’ snake hook in the background. Egad – the murder weapon!
In a final effort to fend off Angela’s advances, Clark-baby brings in his Romantic Partner Dr. Nora (not to be confused with Dr. Laura.) Nora and he have sex. With each other. A lot. And they have been having sex for some time. Exclusively. Therefore he will not be having sex with Angela. Ever. He explains to Dr. Nora that he does actually have to be this forward with people in the lab because they are exceptionally dense. He also explains about Angela’s attempt at celibacy. Dr. Nora understands how it can be hard for a healthy young woman to go cold turkey (I thought that males would have a harder… never mind.) In fact, Dr. Nora goes on that in the 1800’s, women would see their doctors about anxiety and such and the treatment would be for the doctors to manually… gah – can I please stop watching now? Yes, they do finish the conversation. When Angela says she will no longer hit on Clark-baby but asks Dr. Nora if she was right about him in bed, Clark runs screaming from the room. I wish I could.
In their search for suspects, Cam admits to Booth that Andrew cheated on her and since he was a man of habit he was probably cheating on his current squeeze. The habit extends to his rendezvous, which also hasn’t changed. Booth brings in motel owner Deus ex Machina, who remember Cam as Andrew’s former Room 301 girl. Andrew’s latest partner was a redhead, though, which leads us back to the red herring, Dr. Maura Bailey, the hospital administrator.
Dr. Bailey doesn’t cave in the interview room. Booth tells her to give up the clothes she was wearing the night of the fundraiser so they can check them for blood stains and they won’t tell her husband she was having an affair. I don’t think that’s legal but they do it anyway. She tells them to go blow smoke.
Without the clothes, the Squints must go through photos taken at the fundraiser to see if they can spot Dr. Bailey covered in blood. Yeah, ’cause that wouldn’t have been noticed at all. But Cam’s heart isn’t in the photo analysis. She’s still upset that Michelle is mad at her. Before Cam left, she gave Michelle half a salt and pepper set that Cam’s grandmother had given her. She always said that if Michelle looked at her shaker, Cam would know she was thinking about her. Bones starts to explain the statistical improbability of two people thinking of each other at the same time over a ten-year period but thankfully stops. And actually gets the point. Bones says that if she never stopped loving Michelle, she should go tell her that.
Surprisingly, Cam listens.
A clue appears in the photos. No, not Dr. Bailey, because she was wearing a light coloured dress and it wasn’t covered in blood. Shocker. They do, however, find a woman in a black dress (which would cover the stains) holding a snake skin purse. Damn, that’s a detailed photograph. It’s Nurse #2!
Booth goes to the hospital to arrest this character WHO WE’VE ONLY TALKED TO ONCE IN THE ENTIRE EPISODE and she blurts out her confession. She also tells them that she burned the dress she wore that night because it was covered in blood. She had to kill the good doctor because he was cheating on her after everything she did for him! “All those years I was there for him! If anyone knows how I feel, it was you!” she says to Cam. Cam says no. She left Andrew; she didn’t turn him into Meow Mix.
Cam returns to Michelle’s house one more time. “Why did she kill my father?” the teenager asks her former surrogate mother who replies that, although Andrew was a cheater with a zipper problem, it does not take anything away from the fact that he was a good father and doctor. Cam asks if Michelle has anywhere to live. Yes, Michelle has a cousin in Chicago. Cam pulls out her shaker. “I’d like you to live with me.” Michelle runs away upstairs. Cam leaves to go, heart-broken. Tamara Taylor did a great job on this episode. But before Cam makes it to the door, Michelle returns to the top of the staircase. “Where are you going?” She comes back downstairs with her shaker and completes the set on the table. There is a big hug and everybody lives happily ever after! Except poor, dead Andrew. And horny Angela.