Previously on Mad Men: Betty named baby Draper “Gene”, Sally had reservations about baby Gene living in Grandpa’s old room, Greg the Rapist was up for Chief Resident, Sterling Cooper was sold to Putnam, Powell and Lowell, Don told Pryce they bought Sterling Cooper because they do things better than PPL, Don told Roger everyone thinks he’s an idiot this season.
Don turns the light off in Sally’s room. She pleads that she’s scared, and a compromise is brokered: if she cleans up her room, she can have a nightlight. Until then, he turns on her bedside lamp and sets it on the floor.
Mandatory meeting at Sterling Cooper. Mr. Hooker brings everyone to order, and Pryce informs all of Sterling Cooper(minus Ken Cosgrove, who’s late) that PPL will be visiting tomorrow, Tuesday, with their visit continuing into Wednesday. Not so sincere apologies are offered for making everyone work on Wednesday, July 3, a day the office was to be closed. “They were unaware of the holiday,” Pryce says. Riiiiiiiiiiight. Pryce wants everything shipshape and in Bristol fashion. The Americans give him blank looks, and the meeting is over. Cooper asks Don to join him and Roger in his office. Joan is mighty displeased with the turn of events, since as it turns out, tomorrow is her last day. Rapist Greg is finding out about his residency, and she’s off to be a housewife. The secretaries try to figure out how to re-organize Joan’s going away party.
Mr. Hooker informs Pete and Harry they will need presentations from them Wednesday morning. “And Mr. Kinsey, you might want to shave your beard,” he continues. “What?! Who the hell are you people?” Paul shouts. “That was a joke,” Mr. Hooker replies.
Cooper advises calm, and says they should see this like any major client meeting. “Fourth of July? Subtle,” Don notes. Cooper has a theory that they’re coming to see Don, as they’ve been watching his work closely. Cooper is of the opinion Don will be offered a dual Creative Director position over London and New York. They all trade banter, and Cooper says he hopes Roger and Don can keep up this pretense of congeniality. They both scoff, but Cooper tells them it’s time to bury the hatchet, and they’re going to do it at his barber shop. He calls and has his secretary set the appointment.
Pete bursts out of his office, screaming about the racket, and the cause of it is even worse than he could have imagined. Ken comes riding into the office on a John Deere 110 Lawn and Garden tractor with snow thrower and transparent vinyl enclosure – and key. He landed a “mastodon”, and is all smiles over his new account. Sal and Pete try to rain in his parade with the news about PPL’s visit, but Ken just gloats over landing the new account just in time.
Bobby shouts to Sally, “She’s in here!’ Betty rests on her bed with baby Gene. Bobby complains he’s bored, and Betty tells him to “Go bang your head against a wall.” “Mom!” “Only boring people are bored,” she says sternly. Bobby asks sweetly to pet the baby, and is granted his request. But Sally won’t even come in the room. Betty sends them off to play.Don and Roger at the barber shop. Don has a fresh shave, and Roger’s getting his nails done. Roger’s father was a big fan of manicures, and we get to hear the story of how great the nails looked on his one hand at his funeral – he lost the other arm in the car crash that did him in, and they didn’ t bother to reattach it. After the gallows humor, they get down to brass tacks. Roger is nervous about PPL’s visit because he doesn’t like being judged, which was part of the problem with Mona – she started to judge him. Again, riiiiiiiiiiiiight. Don says they don’t need to talk about this anymore. Roger says he was hoping for gratitude (after all, the sale of Sterling Cooper netted Don a half million dollars), and Don offers his thanks. “Well, maybe now you’ll have the money and the glory,” Roger says, smiling.
Joan orders Hildy to call the photographers, vendors and type service to make deliveries between 9:30 and 11 so the British can see lots of activity when they arrive. Hildy thinks Joan’s being short with her just to make parting easier, but their heart to heart is interrupted by Mr. Hooker. “I’m noticing for the first time that the ladies out here are rather plain. Present company excluded,” he intones. “Well, we could hire some prostitutes. I know your Prime Minister enjoys their company,” Joan snaps. “Secretary of War. And you’d do best not to bring that up tomorrow,” he replies. “I apologize,” she non-apologizes. “Well, I apologize that tomorrow’s visit will steal from your spotlight. Perhaps we can reschedule your surprise party until after the holiday,” he says nasally. “Why did you do that?” Hildy snaps at him. “Do what? Mrs. Harris knows everything, I’m sure she was expecting it,” he drawls. “I’m going to go home and make my husband a celebratory dinner. And when you wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what you’ve forgot, don’t call me,” Joan says icily to Mr. Hooker. He doesn’t have the good sense to look terrified, but then that’s no surprise.
Betty enjoys a glass of wine at the kitchen table as Don comes home. She compliments him on his smoothness after they kiss hello, and hears how people used to be sent to the barber shop as part of their job. He tells Betty about PPL’s visit, and asks what she thinks about London with a smile. She’s just as game as he is. She’s less excited about Sally’s behavior, which is still clingy and resentful of the baby.
Greg the Rapist comes home late to a dark living room, but trips over something and wakes Joan, who’s asleep on the couch. Shock of all shocks, he didn’t get Chief Resident! /sarcasm Joan wonders what will happen now. He manages to tell her he’s still a doctor, but will never be a surgeon. He has another year of residency, so she’ll have to keep her job. “Greg, that’s done,” she says. “Well, get another one,” he replies. The audience hopes Greg keels over dead so Joan can collect the insurance money. By the way, Christina Hendricks looks fabulous in a long, black lace strapy nightgown. The legendary cleavage is on proud display, and both in looks and in actions, we’re reminded that Joan deserves far, far better than Greg the Rapist. “Listen. You are still a doctor. I married you for your heart, not your hands,” she says sweetly. She sends him off to bed, and turns off the light.
Don stares at the ceiling lamp in his and Betty’s bedroom in the dark, smilingly thinking of the possibilities of tomorrow. Sally stares at her little nightlight, worried in the light.Joan admonishes Mr. Hooker for failing to tell her the guests have arrived. She’s in a fabulous green dress that sets off her hair just so. She’s introduced to Guy MacKendrick, Harold Ford, and Saint-John Powell. She passes along that she’s made them dinner reservations at La Grenouille, and got them two tickets to Oliver! “It’s a wonderful show,” she says, smiling. “I’ve heard that! A tragedy with a happy ending. My favorite kind!” Powell enthuses. Mr. Hooker thanks her, then takes the men off on “the three penny tour.” Joan hisses to the receptionist to inform everyone the guests are here.
Mr. Hooker drones about the schedule as they tour. Pete comes out of his office to say hello to Powell, and is introduced to Guy MacKendrick. “I know everything about you. You’re a very impressive fellow,” Guy says smoothly. Pete is typically clueless, and says he wishes he could return the compliment. It’s called THANK YOU, Pete. You’d know that if you weren’t such an entitled brat. The tour continues, and Peggy steps out to meet the Brits as well. “I know everything about you. You’re a very impressive young woman,” Guy smarms. “Why, thank you,” Peggy smiles. “That is a very handsome man,” Peggy’s secretary Olive opines. Everyone agrees, as all the secretaries have been closely following Guy’s progress around the room.
The British arrive at Cooper’s office. Ford hilariously holds his shoes in his hands throughout the meeting, as Cooper insists everyone remove their shoes per his usual adopted Japanese custom. Guy is introduced to Cooper, Roger, and Don, and his accomplishments are touted from on high. Don looks unusually uneasy, and Cooper is baffled.
Ford and Powell continue on their merry way, and make it to Pryce’s office. He’s congratulated on doing a bang up job, and in fact, has done such a great job that they’re sending him to India to run things there. They even gave him a stuffed cobra in a basket as a congratulatory gift! What a great way to make someone feel welcome! Pryce is less than thrilled at this turn of events, but they remind him of what a great company man he is. He’s not moving on, he’s moving up! Powell spins. Pryce nods mutely.
Guy leads a presentation on the restructuring in the conference room. He’s got Don Draper’s confidence and suaveness, and looks about five years younger. As the plan is unveiled, with Guy as the new Chief Operating Officer, Cooper protests Mr. Sterling is not even on the chart. Guy smooths things over, and reveal Harry will oversee the television and media department, Pete and Ken will continue to be co-heads of accounts, and Don’s position is unchanged,and he will be reporting to the handsome, new Guy. Don sketches an American flag as this all goes on. Guy’s sure everyone has questions, but Powell says they should save them for later and go inform the troops. Guy practically bounces out to tell them, quickly followed by the other Brits. “What the hell just happened?” Harry asks. “They reorganized us, and you’re the only one in this room that got a promotion,” Pete replies. “Really?” Harry says, awestruck. “Really,” Roger replies flatly. Cooper apologizes to Don for his wild imagination.
Betty shares a moment with Sally in Sally’s room, which is indeed clean. Betty finds a present for Sally behind her pillow though – it’s from baby Gene! “Baby Gene can’t write,” Sally protests. “Babies get fairies to do things, you know that!” Betty chides. “It’s really from him, I’m not kidding! I think you should open it.” It’s a Barbie. Sally is ahead of her time and is unimpressed with this shallow icon. “I think he wants you to know that he wants to be your friend,” Betty offers. “And you are very important to me too,” she adds, kissing Sally on top of her head. Sally takes Barbie out of the box and they eye each other warily.Guy makes a toast. It’s champagne time at Sterling Cooper! In addition to kind things to say about Pryce, he toasts Joan, wishing her “caviar, and children, and all that is good in your new life!” Joan starts to loses it when faced with the reality that her new life is unlikely to include any of that. Her cake, with a giant ship and “Bon Voyage, Joan!” written across it, is wheeled in. Guy says they can save the work for tomorrow, and this afternoon should be a fete worthy of Joan. “Enjoy the liquor and delicatessen!” he enthuses. Don’t worry, they will. The troops clap half-heartedly. Joan thanks the secretaries, and Mr. Hooker says they’ll miss her. “We got you the cake,” Hildy says, pointedly excluding Mr. Hooker.
The boys of Sterling Cooper (Ken, Pete, Harry and Paul) decide to make friends with Guy, who’s chatting up Pyrce. “One more promotion and we’re going to be answering phones,” Pete grumbles.
“This is good champagne,” Peggy says to Don. “I don’t think so,” Don says, scowling. “I’m going to get something to eat,” Peggy replies, leaving Don and his bad attitude behind. He’s given a reason for optimism again soon enough – Conrad Hilton’s secretary is on the line, and Mr. Hilton wants a meeting. Don is on his way to the Waldorf Astoria Presidential Suite immediately.
Roger wanders into Cooper’s office and complains that he wasn’t even on the organizational chart. Cooper is of the opinion they took their money, they have to do what they say. Sterling seems to be of a different opinion, but keeps it to himself as he heads out the door.
The party is in full swing at Sterling Cooper. Smitty, who’s drunk this time instead of high, chats about Vietnam before heading off to the bathroom. Peggy asks Joan for a moment, and Peggy offers her thanks to Joan, who rightly takes some credit for her success. Smitty reappears with the John Deere mower. Hildy’s on the back for a ride. The engine cuts off, and Lois takes the wheel. She lurches around while we cut back to Joan and Peggy’s tete a tete. Joan glances over just in time to see Lois shear off Guy MacKendrick’s foot with the mower, spraying Harry, Paul, and a couple other people with blood and gore in the process, before crashing into an office, raining glass and wood down all around her. Joan springs into action, running towards Guy and shouting to Hildy to get the first aid kit and get Lois out of here. Ken shouts to call an ambulance. Peggy walks up and faints dead away into Pete’s arms. Guy understandably screams his head off. Joan grabs the tourniquet out of the first aid kit and ties off Guy’s ankle, showing that she’d probably be a better surgeon than Greg the Rapist too.Don meets Conrad Hilton for what turns out to be the second time – it’s Connie from Roger and Jane’s Derby Party. Don apologizes for not recognizing him, but Connie brushes it off. He asks him for his opinion on an ad idea. “I think you wouldn’t be in the Presidential Suite right now if you worked for free,” Don replies. Connie asks for one for free, and Don aquiesces. The city mouse/country mouse ad campaign is shot down, as no one wants to think about a mouse in a hotel. Right that. “You got something better?” Connie asks. Don asks for a chance at his business, and Connie says OK – but next time Don should think bigger. Don’s reply? “There are snakes that go months without eating, and then they finally catch something. But they’re so hungry that they suffocate while they’re eating. One opportunity at a time.” Connie has a sense of humor and smiles at the analogy. They’re interrupted by Connie’s secretary – Don has an emergency call.
Harry, Ken, Smitty, Pete, and Paul has a post mutilation pow-wow. There’s a guy using a squeegee to get the blood off the windows, and it’s awesome!!! The only part of this scene that really matters is when Roger walks in. “Any news?” Roger asks. “He might lose his foot,” Paul replies hoarsely. “Right when he got it in the door,” Roger glibly replies. HA! Everyone laughs but Harry. Ken tries to take responsibility, but Roger brushes him off. “Believe me, somewhere in this business, this has happened before.” I heart Roger more than at any point this season right now.
A fedora clad Don walks into the hospital lounge just as Joan gets a Dr. Pepper. “My God!” he says, seeing her dress. “I know. It’s ruined,” she replies. Pryce retrieved Powell and Ford, who are talking to the doctor. The good news is Guy will live – the bad news is he lost his foot. Don says he’ll stay. He and Joan sit, and he says that it got lost in the chaos of the day, but he will truly miss her. “That’s nice, to hear. Especially from you, Don,” she replies with a smile. “I’ll bet he felt great when he woke up today,” she goes on. “I’m sure you’re right,” Don agrees. “But that’s life,” she goes on. “One minute you’re on top of the world, the next minute some secretary is running you over with a lawn mower.” They dissolve into giggles. I think that needs to be on one of those motivational posters. Before they go too far with the gallows humor, Pryce, Ford and Powell show up, and commend Joan on her quick thinking. Guy’s career is over – how can he work if he can’t golf? Pryce will continue at the helm indefinitely, and Joan will be reimbursed for her ruined dress. It really is a great dress, so well played, Pryce. Ford and Powell go off to visit the maimed one. Joan says her goodbyes to Don with a kiss on the cheek. The thing that really stands out (besides all that blood on Joan’s dress) is how far Joan has come in just a day. She was in tears and had no footing (pun intended), then she was able to seize control of a situation and found her confidence again. Don and Joan really have a lot in common in that they both like to make things happen, and they’re both survivors. I’m fully on Team Joan, and think she’ll figure a way out of this mess. Anyway, Joan bids farewell to Pryce as well, and is on her way. Pryce buys Don a Dr. Pepper, and says that he feels like he just went to his own funeral, and didn’t like the eulogy. I wonder what that means for Pryce in the future.Don arrives home to Barbie headfirst in the shrubbery. He pulls her out and takes her upstairs to Sally’s room, where she’s sleeping. No sooner does he get his tie off when Sally starts screaming her head off. He rushes to comfort her while Betty grabs baby Gene, who of course got woken up too. Then the dog comes in and starts barking. “I don’t even know what to say,” Betty says icily, then leaves. Don gently gets to the heart of the matter – Sally thinks baby Gene is a ghost. After assurances he’s just a baby, Don tells her to go to sleep.
Back in the Draper bedroom, Don argues against the name Gene, saying Sally is terrified. Betty retorts she’s just a child and she’ll get over it. Besides, that’s what people do – that’s how they keep the memory alive. “He hated me and I hated him – that’s the memory,” he shouts. “That’s his name!” Betty shouts right back. Sally walks in and apologizes for waking baby Gene, and Betty tells her everything is fine. For the third and final time of the recap – riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Don walks down the hall to baby Gene’s room with Sally trailing after him. He scoops up the little guy as Sally stands in the doorway, then beckons her in as he sits in a rocker. They share daddy’s lap, and Don works some advertising magic on Sally. “This is your little brother. And he’s only a baby. We don’t know who he is yet, or who he’s going to be. And that is a wonderful thing,” he says as they snuggle in the moonlight. We head to the credits as Bob Dylan’s “Song to Woody” plays.