So Now a Goonies Sequel is Definitely NOT Happening?

Sigh. Ever since the original Goonies came out a lot of people have been hoping that it would be revisited someday, perhaps to see if we could ascertain just what happened to each of the characters and where they ended up in the world. Joey Paur of GeekTyrant has even written that Steven Spielberg had a script written for it at one point, but it would seem that now Corey Feldman and Sean Astin, both key components to the movie, have said that it’s not going to happen. You could state that it’s hard to know whether or not people in Hollywood are just being cagey and withholding the truth to keep the suspense and anticipation building, but in this case it would seem as though the rumors are just that, rumors. In a big way this is a disappointment for a lot of fans since the Goonies is a cult classic that has been fondly remembered by a lot of folks throughout the years, hell the famed Goonie house in Astoria, Oregon had start refusing visitors since people didn’t respect the privacy of the owners. That’s how nutty people got over this movie, and how devoted a lot of folks have become to it since their childhood years.

Logan Alexander Smith of Odyssey breaks down just why he likes the Goonies so much, and while he’s got his own personal opinion it does fall in line with a lot of other people. If you watch the movie as an adult after so many years you’ll begin to notice that there are a lot of things that might make you shake your head and wonder how you didn’t notice them or didn’t fully understand them. For instance, when Jake Fratelli breaks out of jail, which apparently is run by incompetents that can’t stop a single prisoner from making his escape, they’re also warded away from making a triple arrest by a ‘wall’ of fire that a kid could jump over. Then there’s the magical transportation device that somehow allows Mikey, Mouth, Data, and Chunk to make it from Astoria all the way to Cannon Beach without collapsing from fatigue halfway there. Yes, there are 25.5 miles of nothing but highway between the two locations, much too far for four young boys to cover on their own without anyone being the wiser. And then take into account Brandon catches up to his brother in the same manner. Much as it might seem like this is criticizing the movie it’s not, it’s simply a reality that I didn’t notice until I’d watched it a couple of times and realized couldn’t be real. Trust a person from the Pacific Northwest, we’re the authority on this movie when it comes to geography.

Some folks could care less about the Goonies as they might have seen it as a pleasant and amusing movie but not much else. For kids that grew up with this movie however it was a part of our childhood that we never wanted to relinquish and did our best to hold onto as the years continued to roll by. Despite all the realism that a person could foist upon this movie it was still great since it was a part of the 80s and therefore kind of immune to the over-reaching criticism that said ‘this isn’t real, it can’t happen this way’. Of course it can’t. Data would have been spitted on the spikes instead of being saved by a set of fake novelty teeth. The Fratelli’s probably would have shot the kids and left them to rot in the tunnels, and the pirate ship would have been a floating death trap more because of the humidity and what it would have done to weaken the structure of it and less because of the traps. Plus, think of it this way, the pirates had to have been creating the tunnels and setting traps during their imprisonment, so it’s likely that at least one or two of them were tempted to simply make their way to freedom and run off. If you look at this movie through adult eyes and try to tear it down then of course it’s going to seem less impressive, but keeping the childhood wonder is essential for a lot of us since the Goonies was, to many of us, a movie that was made for us, an adventure that was no less dangerous than an adult adventure, but still catered to kids since it was a giant treasure hunt to save the main characters’ homes.

There’s a lot of reasons why we love the Goonies, and Caitlin A. Murry of Medium can give you a few. But one of the main reasons why it’s kind of crushing to think we’ll never see a sequel, supposedly, is that it would have been nice to see the gang back together again.

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