What Oprah and LOST Have in Common

Oprah’s big secret is out: she has a sister. Wow, that WAS surprising – not. In fact, when Oprah’s big secret was finally revealed I was reminded of another secret. The secret of the island. The secret of the flash sideways. The secret of the donkey wheel. The secret of the numbers. What does our momentary fervor over Oprah’s big secret, and our obsessive certainty that LOST will blow our minds, have in common? Simple. Both are subject to the rules of real life. Let me explain.

Oprah engineered her big reveal in much the same way LOST built its big mysteries: it seduced us with the sense that the final revelation would be somehow life altering. Oprah discovers she is the long lost sister of President Obama. Oprah discovers that she possesses cells capable of infinite division. Or simple: Oprah brings on Dr. Oz, who has just figured out the cure to cancer. Wait, maybe the government selects Oprah to reveal that we have been in communication with an advanced Alien race. No, none of those things happened because they are things that would have happened in fiction – unless that fiction is LOST.

The let down of “oh, she has a sister – whoopie” reminded me of another let down: they are all dead, and the source of the island’s power is a glowing rectum contained by a stone butt-plug. Think this through with me a little more folks: Oprah’s surprise was mundane – for anyone but her, of course – because this is reality, and in reality things just don’t live up to the hype. Somehow, the writers of LOST got the idea that their stories should work the same way: build up the expectation of a mind-blowing reveal, only to low ball the expectations. Brilliant. Did the LOST guys suddenly start producing Oprah?


One Response

  1. Spoilers Guide January 25, 2011

Add Comment

Seis Manos
Why We’ll Be Checking out Seis Manos on Netflix
Cote de Pablo
This is Why Ziva David is Returning to NCIS in Season 17
HBO Max Wins Streaming Rights to The Big Bang Theory
Knife or Death
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Knife or Death
Godfather Still
Louis in the Bronx: Coppola and the Hitchcock Affect
If The Princess Bride Gets Rebooted Then I’m Quitting Everything
Rihanna Poison Ivy
We Would Absolutely Love to See Rihanna as Poison Ivy
The Iron Man Cameo in Black Widow Won’t Be What You Think
Five Actors That Could Play Colin Kaepernick in a Movie
Noel Fielding
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Noel Fielding
Victoire Du Bois
10 Things You Didn’t Know About Victoire Du Bois
Bowen Yang
10 Things You Didn’t Know About Bowen Yang
Black Manta
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Black Manta
Superman and Mermaid
Headline of the Week: Superman Has Sex with a Mermaid
Red Guardian
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Black Widow’s Red Guardian
Taskmaster
Why Marvel’s The Taskmaster Deserves a Solo Movie
Black Fox
What We Know about the Black Fox Anime Feature Film So Far
Golden Kamuy
Why You Should Be Watching Golden Kamuy
The Quintessential Quintuplets
Why You Should be Watching The Quintessential Quintuplets
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Why You Should be Watching Neon Genesis Evangelion
Why They Should Make “The Revenant” Into a Video Game
Swap
This Mario and Yoshi Body Swap is Really Freaky, Period
Roblox
How Roblox Grew To Over 100 Million Active Users
eSports
Turns Out That eSports Carries Very Real Injuries With It