It almost sounds as though Corey Feldman is just a little bitter about not being able to lock down a Goonies sequel, but it’s likely that he’s feeling what everyone else is feeling, that the time to do something with it is passing by and without any action, well, that’s all she wrote. It’s tough to say this as a Goonies fan, but maybe the movie shouldn’t get a sequel. What would it be about? Surely One-Eyed Willy’s ship would have sunk after years of being stuck in a natural cavern, as the humidity alone should have warped nearly every board. But even disregarding that since we don’t think of those things in the movies, it’s likely that if it didn’t sink then it would have been rescued, towed to shore, and then set up as a museum piece, with the treasure inside creating a stir since it’s likely that the countries it was stolen from might want to make a claim.
There are so many ‘grown-up’ aspects of this movie that we didn’t think of when we were kids that it’s easy to think that a sequel would bring them into stark relief and kind of ruin the whole feel of the tale simply because now we’re older and suspension of disbelief is a little harder to come by since the lot of us have figured out several things about the movie that might make sense to kids without the life experience are a bit ridiculous to adults that have been there, done that. Want a good example? Four young boys riding their bikes from Astoria to Cannon Beach isn’t going to happen. Why? Well for starters, it’s a 27-mile ride each way, and while young boys at that age might appear to have boundless energy, none of them would have been able to stand by the time they made Cannon Beach. On top of that, Astoria has beaches, but nothing that lies directly on the Pacific Ocean, as Cannon Beach so obviously does. The road there is mainly highway as well, not the backroads in the woods that twist and wind in a peaceful, car-free manner.
If anyone needs proof look up Haystack Rock, which is seen in the movie next to where the race that Mama Fratelli busts into during the chase scene. Yes, it’s easier to verify these things if you come from the coast, I’ll admit it. But as kids, even as coastal kids back in the day, we didn’t care about that stuff since it was all the kind of detail that we saw as background and not quite as important. These days the technical details would kind of need to take on a great deal of importance, and trying to convince people that Astoria and Cannon Beach are just a hop, skip, and jump from each other wouldn’t work as well. Also, one has to wonder if anyone would think about exploring the tunnels that supposedly ran from beneath Astoria to Cannon Beach. I love the Goonies more than some and just as much as others, but these details would be the biggest problem, not the fact that the cast wants Richard Donner to come back. Donner, who’s apparently working on the fifth installment of Lethal Weapon, has already stated that this movie is to be his swan song, meaning that he’s packing it in once he’s done with the fifth movie. Being in his 90s at this time it’s not hard to think of why he would already be looking forward to calling it quits, but a lot of people, the cast of The Goonies especially, were definitely hoping to get him back. What the cast members don’t appear to be considering is that someone could step in and make it happen, so long as they paid attention to the source material and were ready to keep the Goonies alive in a way that made sense.
It is intriguing to see what might happen to the Goonies and if their own kids would inherit their amusing quirks, but if that’s going to happen it’s likely that it will come around in a reboot, which makes a lot of people cringe since The Goonies is one of the many movies that people are hoping would be kept as it is and continued rather than rebooted. Granted, reboots aren’t always terrible and they don’t necessarily threaten to ruin the original movie, but there’s something about reboots that just don’t feel right, even if it is someone trying to pay respects to the original movie in their own way. If Donner can’t be convinced to come back, and if no one else is willing to try, then it’s likely that The Goonies should be left as it is. Goonies never say die, but unfortunately, Goonies don’t always get what they want.